Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 3 Tips to Charm People (Even When You Disagree)

Episode Date: May 18, 2016

We’ll never agree with everyone all of the time. But how you choose to vocalize your differences in opinion can mean a breakdown of communication OR a moment of true connection. In today’s LOVE Life I’m going to give you my 3 tips to charmingly disagree in a way that draws people closer to you every time.

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. Do you ever feel like you keep attracting the wrong kinds of men? I can understand how frustrated and hopeless this must make you feel at times. All you want is a good guy who appreciates you and treats you well. Someone who's a partner in all of life's ups and downs. But instead, you end up with jerks. Well, you're not alone. So many women can relate.

I want you to smile right now because today I'm going to give you a simple way to get rid of the jerks and only attract quality men into your life. Before I give that to you, let's get into today's episode. Today, I want to talk about three important ways to charmingly disagree with someone. You know those charismatic people in life who just seem to be able to disagree with people and people still like them at the end of it. They still have all of this good feeling at the end of it. In fact, if anything, it draws people to them. Well, I want to help everyone listening to become more of that in the arguments that they have day to day. I'm not talking about the huge blow ups. I'm talking about those little ways that we disagree with people each day. So I have three ways for you today. Let's jump right into

them. Number one is don't get emotionally involved. In other words, there is a way to disagree with someone where you don't put your personal feelings on the line. In other words, a great debating style is someone who can be passionate, but not get personal. They can be passionate. They can be excited about their argument. They can even think the other person's argument is absurd. But what they don't do is start investing their personal feelings into it in a way that compromises them emotionally. Because of course, as soon as you compromise yourself emotionally, you lose all of your power. The second big tip for this is to create segues, not dead ends. If someone says something that you disagree with and you go, that's ridiculous, that's a dead end. If you say, I disagree,

that's a dead end. When you say you're wrong, that's a dead end. When you say, well, what about this? And then you say something which completely defies their logic. They have no alternative, but to respond to your argument, they have no alternative, but to start trying to debate with you on that subject. You're creating this open air way for them to start talking. The third thing is to divorce the concept from the individual. And let me explain this. What people do who are good at debating is they can see the issue as an issue and the person as a person. I give you an example. Me and my publicist is very much, has the belief that if you think positive thoughts, the universe will look after

you. The universe will do things for you. And I 100% disagree with this idea. We'll talk about that at another time. But recently I was called to do a TV show on the other side of the country and I was supposed to be doing it on a Tuesday. That's the day that they wanted me to go and air on. And I said to him, look, it would so help me if it was on a Wednesday. And he said, there's no chance. There's no chance it's going to be on Tuesday. I said, it would really help me if it's on a Wednesday. Will you just, I'm just telling you just so that you can insinuate that to them. He came back to me four hours later and said, well, you always get everything you want. It's now it's on Wednesday. They came back to me and said, they actually, I didn't even have to say anything. They just said they wanted you on Wednesday, not Tuesday. And he said, that's the power of positive thinking.

And I said, no, I don't think it was positive thinking, but I said, I appreciate it nonetheless. He said, no, he said that was positive thinking. He said that that's what I, he said, I believe that that's the universe did that we wanted it and the universe brought it to us. And I said, well, you know what? Your belief in that was enough for the both of us. I vicariously benefited from what the universe wanted to do for you in that scenario. So I appreciate it. And of course, there's an irony inbuilt in what I'm saying. I don't believe that. But that irony and that moment of connection where I say, well, you know what? Your belief was enough for the both of us, so I appreciate it. I'm saying it with a wink. But at the same time, it allows us to be slightly jovial and slightly playful

about an area where the truth is me and him completely collide. But what I didn't do is say, look, I can't believe you believe that crap. That's ridiculous. Anyway, let's move on. I didn't do that. We just found a way for us to divorce the issue from the personal relationship. And that's something that many people don't do in disagreements of this kind. So those are the three ways to be charming in disagreement. The first, don't get emotionally involved. Two, create segues, not dead ends. And three, divorce the concept from the individual. I hope you enjoyed that. I really enjoyed telling it to you. I think this is a really fascinating subject and I look forward

to coming back to it soon. If you don't follow me right now, go to Coach Matthew Hussey. That's at Facebook, Coach Matthew Hussey, and leave us us a comment let us know what you thought of the episode I can't wait to be back with you in the next one okay so we started off today talking about how you want to finally stop attracting the wrong men I told you I have something for you that will show you how to make a quick shift that will bring the right kind of men into your life. Well, I've created a powerful training video for you called the three mindsets that drive men wild. And it guides you through the simple steps that you can take to attract the kind of men you truly want to get your free access to three mindsets that drive men wild. Just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash mindsets.