Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 4 Tips to Charm Anyone in 2 Minutes or Less

Episode Date: October 3, 2016

If you think all charming people are just born that way, think again! You can actually learn to build rapport with others and make them feel fantastic around you, and I’ll teach you how with my 4 simple tips. The best part? This is something you can do right away – in the very next conversation you have with someone – to charm them in 2 minutes or less. Ready, set, go!

Hi, I'm Matthew Hussey. Welcome to Love Life. It's a privilege to be able to offer you bite-sized bits of advice on this podcast that you can use every day. But what if you're ready for a big transformation and you want to do it now? You want to reinvent your career or finally find lasting love or break free from the self-doubt that's holding you back from living the abundant life you were meant to live. If you're saying, yes, Matt, that's me, I'm going to tell you exactly how to do just that at the end of today's show. So make sure you stay tuned. First, let's get to today's episode. Today, we are going to be talking about the four tips to mastering the art of charm. I'm going to sum them up real quick now, and then we're going to go through a couple of examples for them.

So I've written down four words, smile, listen, contribute, and comfort. Let's start with the first one, smile. Now, I'm not going to spend a long time on this one because we all know it is kind of cliche. And people would say, well, I'm not going to walk around like a smiling goon the whole time but the truth is if we want to convey a certain emotion and approachability to other people we do have to smile because they only know what they see they don't know what we're feeling on the inside they just know what expression is on our face and is that inviting or not so when you see someone someone, when you meet someone, I want you to actually smile even before you've got to them. Now, once you actually do start speaking to that person, that's where listen, contribute and comfort come in. Now,

listening is really about more than just nodding your head. And of course, nodding your head is extremely important, but it's also about making those understanding noises and it sounds crazy but you know those little tiny subtle things where you go oh you know those little moments and varying them up shows that you really are getting it don't just stick with one where you go every now and again throw in something a little different to show that you get the different nuances in what they're saying. Also, the odd word that shows you're listening. You know, someone could be speaking.

You go totally or yeah, of course. Of course. Sure. For sure. Most definitely. Those types of things reassure people in what they're saying. And it also shows that you kind of understand as well. And that's where we move on to the to the third point, which is comfort. Showing that you understand people and in some way validating what they say gets you on that level of rapport with them. So when they say something and they go, you know, because it's it's you know, it's like when you go out and blah, blah, blah. This thing always happens and you go, ah, yeah, of course, of course I get that.

Those moments show that you're comforting them in their belief. It also shows that you can be affected by them. I know that sounds kind of strange, but showing that someone can affect you with their words is one of the biggest compliments that you can pay people. Some of the most charming people I know, they're the ones that really show with their noises that you affect them with your words. And it makes you feel really powerful and it makes you want to be around that person more. The other way of listening slash comforting, this kind of applies to both, is reiterating what that person has said to you. Now, you can do this in one of two ways. You can either do it directly by saying, oh, I completely get that. It's, you know, what you're saying is when you go out, it's sometimes you let's say their example was.

Yeah, it's like when you go out and you first walk into a room and you get nervous and you go, no, totally. I completely get that is is often the case when you go out, you get nervous. That person, even though you kind of just said the same thing as them it creates a connection the other more subtle way of doing it is to share a story from your life that applies to what they've said so you could say i completely get that because the other night i was out and i walked into this room and i've been there a thousand times before but for whatever reason i felt nervous so now you're showing through your own experience that you get what they say this also relates to the final part, which is to contribute. What this means is actually add something. Instead of just listening all the time, when it comes turn for you to speak,

you actually add to the dialogue, either by giving a personal story or by giving an opinion. And by the way, sometimes contributing isn't always agreeing. Sometimes it's adding an opinion that might conflict with theirs. Now, if you really want to be charming, you're not going to come at it by saying, you know what, you're so wrong about that. And let me tell you why. What you're going to do is come at it by saying, I kind of get what you're saying, but what'm often guilty of jumping right in and disagreeing, which you'll see me do on this show, I'm sure. But those are moments where I'm not interested in being particularly charming. And I know you will have them too. But right now we're talking about those moments where you really want to charm someone. So four things, smile, listen, contribute and comfort. Easy to do, can all be done within the space of two minutes, by the way. So there's no excuse for anyone to think you're not charming if your intention is for them to think you're charming in the first couple of minutes.

This is Matthew Hussey from Love Life. You can follow me at Twitter or Facebook at my name, Matthew Hussey, or go to my website, howtogettheguide.com and check out my blog which has plenty of videos and articles for you to keep your learning going. Thanks guys I'll see you soon. Now if you said earlier yes Matt I'm ready for a big life transformation now then I want to invite you to apply for my retreat program. Now spots are limited but if you're accepted onto the program, I'll lead you through a series of powerful coaching sessions and enlightening exercises that will remove every barrier standing in between you and the extraordinary life you deserve. You'll walk away with a practical set of tools to achieve the career, love, balance, and fulfillment you've always wanted.

To claim your spot for a phone interview with one of my expert mentors, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash retreat. Take care and I'll speak to you soon.