Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 44: Is He Wasting Your Time? (The Top 2 Red Flags to Watch For)

Episode Date: August 10, 2020

I talk a lot about letting go of the wrong person. But how do you know if someone is the wrong person? What are the red flags? How can you tell if someone is serious or just stringing you along so that you don’t waste your time? This episode solves that problem for you. In this podcast, I add a distinction that I’ve never said before and I don’t think you will have ever thought about… Let me know what you think once you’ve heard it, friend. Much love. P.S. For all the sh*t you’re going through right now that others don’t know about, I love you and I’m with you. --- Follow Matthew: Twitter - @matthewhussey Instagram - @thematthewhussey --- Follow Stephen:  Twitter - @stephenhhussey Instagram - @stephenhhussey --- Email the show at [e-mail]! --- Download the FREE chapter of our How To Talk To Men program at GetTheFreeChapter.com 

Intro Music Intro Music Well, hello everyone. Whether you are single, in a relationship, not really sure if you're in a relationship, here we are back with the Love Life Podcast. I am your host Stephen Hussey and guess what we're talking about today? We're talking about mixed signals. When someone's actions and their words don't quite align and they leave you not really sure which one to believe. And what Matthew shows in this clip I'm going to jump to is that this is a little more complicated than it can seem. The traditional advice is look at actions, not words, but sometimes someone's actions can actually be quite romantic and sweep you off your feet, but their words might tell you that they

don't have long-term intentions. So let's's jump over to Mr. Matthew Hussey to talk about what to do when this happens. And just before I do that, I will remind you, please do keep sending in your emails to podcast at MatthewHussey.com. We are reading some out on the next show and if you have any particular comments on this episode i'd love to bookmark them and maybe we can read some out on another one uh so yeah it's great hearing all your stories hearing your experiences and again the more short and concise and crisp you make those emails the more likely it is i can either get to them or perhaps read a question on an episode um all right over to matt i think that every video i've ever done could be looked at not simply through the lens of dating and relationships

but through the lens of time the idea of not suffering for longer than we need to, not spending longer with the wrong person than we need to, not repeating the same mistakes that are costly in terms of time. In fact, one of the main questions I get from people is, how do I read someone's intentions? How do I know if they're just stringing me along? How do I know if this person all of my social media saying, If you want to know someone's intentions, watch their actions, not their words. Because actions have a far harder time lying. Now someone replied challenging this principle, and their reply is worth noting. Okay, flip that. What if he's telling you that he doesn't want a relationship with you, but won't stop calling, texting, wanting to he doesn't want a relationship with you, but won't stop calling, texting, wanting to spend time with you, sleeping with you, making future plans with you, sharing

hopes, dreams, fears, troubles? Which do you believe? I thought this was a great point, because it suggests that the literal inverse of what I said is true in that case. That if you were to watch that person's actions, you would continue to invest more and more and more because their actions would be saying the right thing, even though their words are saying the wrong thing. So based on this comment, I want to add an addendum to this principle of paying more attention to someone's actions than their words. If you want to know someone's intentions, watch their actions, not their words, unless what they're telling you is difficult for them to say. When we're trying to make any kind of a sale in life,

we want to say all of the things that are going to help us make that sale. If, in the course of that sales presentation, someone tells you something undesirable, unwelcome, something that could cost them the sale, what they're saying in that moment should be given particular attention. In that case, we shouldn't be blindly looking at their actions and what they invest in us. We should be paying attention to the small print. I think of it like a pharmaceutical ad, when someone is trying to sell you on a pill that's going to take away some pain or ailment that you have. And it shows you this bright meadow and happy people and after all of that powerful, emotional, good feeling, it reads you as quickly

as possible the small print of how this drug is going to make you want to kill yourself. Ask your doctor today about Cavorica. Side effects may include making you want to kill yourself. I think of what someone's selling you when they tell you they don't want a relationship as being like that. It's like a commercial for a relationship where someone is walking you through the scenes. Here's us going to a movie. Here's us in a park having a picnic. Here's a moment where I confide in you with something vulnerable and aren't we connected in this moment? Then after all of these relationship-esque scenes that make you feel so invested comes a small print where someone says, this romance comes without a title we'll never call you girlfriend just not ready for a relationship and not looking for anything serious right

now that's the small print because when somebody is telling you I don't want anything serious amidst doing all of the right things or they're telling you I don't want a relationship even though they're behaving as if you're already in a relationship what they're saying requires effort to say it may sabotage the very attention they are trying to get that means it was inconvenient for them to say and if it was inconvenient for them to say if it was something that could cost them the sale, then it's something that should be given extra attention over and above their actions. Before you go, I have a program called How to Talk to Men, which is one of my most popular programs because it literally

breaks down word for word communication, whether it's creating attraction, more respect, conveying your standards. And I've actually taken an entire chapter of that program that is on flirting, and I'm giving it away for free today. So you can go and download that at getthefreechapter.com. Warning. Downloading this free chapter may result in flirtatious banter, uncontrollable attraction, and quite possibly a loving relationship.