Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 72: *SPECIAL EPISODE* - Q&A Ask Matt Anything! (with Stephen Hussey)

Episode Date: December 6, 2020

It's finally happened... Matt and I are back in the same room, together at last! And we're taking YOUR questions. In this special Q&A episode, we talk: How to communicate when you have different expectations from a guy you're dating Matt's #1 secret to overcoming your deep insecurities and avoid comparing yourself to other attractive people Books to build your happiness How to keep motivation when you lose focus Is Los Angeles overrated?  Hope you enjoy, and let us know your thoughts and feedback at [e-mail] --- Follow Matt Insta - @thematthewhussey Twitter - @matthewhussey ---- Follow Stephen Insta - @stephenhhussey Twitter - @stephenhhussey

We decided to do a podcast because we're together in London. We thought we would do one together. You'd ask, you're going to do some questions that everyone has sent in on Instagram. Yes. Because we put out a little story. We asked for opinions. So we're going to just do some questions. We'll see. I don't even know what Steve's going to ask me. He said to me quietly before it started, are you sure you don't want to know the questions? I said, no, let's just go through the DMms and ask the questions so we'll see what happens so we're going to start now you we're you're already recording on the podcast can we play the podcast theme tune

we can play the podcast theme play it just so that we have the lead in because it gets me in the mood this is our little intro song for the podcast and i really like it. It's got a good vibe. Hello and welcome back to the Love Life Podcast. I have a very special man with me in the hot seat. I have the man with me. It is, of course, my brother, Matthew Hussey. I am Stephen Hussey. Matthew, how are you, sir? I honestly am very excited to be doing this, Steve. We normally, it's, oh, I still hear the music in the background. We just faded that out. Just do a constant soundtrack with the same song. I am here because I thought thought we're both in London. We have the opportunity to do some live Q&A. So I have no idea what you're going to ask me, but I thought it'd be fun.

Well, I got our lovely listeners to feed us in some questions. And for all those people listening right now, we also have a lot of people on instagram live who are who are listening to this live as well so that's a podcast first for us yeah this is all a lot of podcasts first so you long-time listeners i've seen your spotify's i've seen you saying you've been binging us this year this is the special episode we're in december we got here we got the big man in the room this is the one you don't want to miss so we got a bunch of questions in so i'm just gonna start with one that is pretty interesting this this question is for your podcast what is one book you've read that you feel has had the biggest impact on you or helped you cultivate

more happiness in your life oh my god that's pretty hard right off the cuff um i'm a i'm a huge fan of the book deep work by cal newport i can't answer that is there one book but yeah let's just say a book you've thought about recently deep always important uh conversational tip for anyone anytime you're in conversation never ask for someone's favourite something that is a conversation ender oh that's good right there never ask for a favourite

always ask for one of someone's a book that you really enjoy or that's really influenced you that's a yes and question whereas your favourite is a people just seize up I really like the book deep work by cal newport because it describes the lack of focus that we have today the novelty of social media and

news sites and constant addiction to uh surface level interaction and it stops us from doing the deep work that actually moves us forward in our lives so i uh i'm a big big believer in that idea of deep work so do you think deep work helps you deep work yeah deep work makes me happier because if i sit down and focus and on a piece of writing i immediately feel connected to my purpose i feel like i've done something difficult i get into a flow state there's a lot of studies showing that flow states are the key to happiness. And I feel like I've done something difficult for the day. And I've engaged in a world that's rich. When I'm mindlessly checking Instagram, do you normally pause for sirens on the podcast?

If there's sirens, I would usually rerecord, but it'd be just me. No, we keep going. We keep going we keep going um so i i find that for me losing myself in something that is rich in meaning and truly dedicating myself to that time is uh is the key to my happiness it certainly isn't scrolling instagram or facebook or just checking emails. Yes, I agree with that. I think you can find lots of ways to try and fill up your day with pleasures, but ultimately something meaningful, something purposeful

is what gives you that warm, nourished feeling at the end of the day. You can have a lot of pleasure, but not feel very satisfied. Well, just to say matthew since we actually have you here in london it is december the end of a long year how how are you feeling about that we've been talking a lot on the podcast just of checking in how people are what's been going on um are you do you feel you're at the home stretch do you feel like you know there's light at the end of the tunnel? We've got vaccine on the way.

Things may be looking less bleak than they did in the middle of the year. Or do you feel it's been exhausting? It's certainly been sort of exhausting. I went out in London. I didn't go out. I went for a walk. And suddenly last night everyone was in bars and restaurants. That was quite shocking i what i found a bit

tiring is having to adjust and readjust to to the new rules like i get comfortable with the idea that nothing is available and then when it changes again and everything's available i'm like oh no now the world of options has opened up again i've got to adjust to the fact that things that i can go to a restaurant, that I can do something. And then when things close down, you have to adjust to that. So I think that changing of the standards all the time is quite disorienting. Yeah.

But I do, I actually think of it now like there's a, like someone has said, oh, the end is on its way the end of of where we are now is coming and so that immediately i go into the mode of oh no what did i not do during this time right so you see it as an opportunity i get scared that i haven't used this time well enough right that i'm like oh did i write that book did i do this did i do that did i make all those things that i would only ever have the time to make when the world is a little more quiet and then it's so i sort of reverse psychology kicks in and i go okay well i've only got if everyone gets vaccinated i've only got six months to make the most of this time now before people are going

to start expecting me to go places and do things and so I it actually for me turns into a bit of a game in that sense I I've shared something of that mindset um do you think people would say that's that's a hyper type a mindset and it should not be so onerous on yourself in times of massive crisis. Yeah. But I think that the difference is when it first happened, it was, it was a lot of people were in panic mode. And so when you're in panic mode or when you're like truly massively destabilized, I understand there are many people who are still destabilized because of a loss of jobs and fears around the corner, business is failing in real time

so that is different for everybody but for me you know in our family like mum was really panicked in the beginning and then i was nervous because mum was anxious and i didn't want her to be anxious and we all didn't know we're sitting there scrubbing apples you know when we bought them and i remember the scrubbing apples oh god, don't we all, but that, that gave way to what I think is a more stable period of still in the pandemic, but where it's more normalized. And then I think it is time to go, okay, how do I want to use this time? I'm no longer operating out of a kind of panic.

Now it's just, we're sort of stable within an unstable situation so what do i do at that time i think the the the continued difficulty is the like you say the unpredictable lockdown scenario i think it takes i i thought at first i was just someone who oh i just i'm just resilient to this like once the panic was over like i'm not gonna die you know fingers crossed but i then i was like oh i'm fine with this but actually i think there is this like once the panic was over like i'm not gonna die you know fingers crossed but i then i was like oh i'm fine with this but actually i think there is this like i liken it to like a background noise of constant uncertainty and minor anxiety about not knowing anything that's going to happen and that does take its toll it's like a news feed in your mind all the time that's

changing your thoughts and plans i think that's true i but i've just always been hyper focused on what we like we started our business in a recession yeah we did back in what was it 2008 i think it was bang on 2008 probably the start of the crisis yeah so i just have always been so focused on not the macro of it all, but the micro. Because I just think you have so much control over the micro, and it's the only place that's worth spending any time. So I just don't... I know there are people who get very heated about the macro of things, and that's fine.

The macro is serious, but I think that my power within the in the micro is more serious right like i always back my own power over the power of who's in office or what's happening in the world or i i just back myself as someone who's going to have more influence over my life than whatever is happening on the macro yeah and that's always what I'm focused on. Yeah. Very cool. I've got another question here. Okay. So related to that, someone asked,

I would like to ask you guys how you handle the loss of excitement and motivation that we feel sometimes once we've decided we're going to have open our own business how do you not give up once you've opened your own business how do you lose well yeah i guess when you lose excitement with with like a company you've started or a project and it seems shiny and new at the beginning but you kind of feel you're you're not getting the results or the motivation drops firstly you try to pick something that wasn't an interest that started for you last week right like that if the interest came as easily as like oh i had this i've been interested in this since last week it And it's hard to trust that

you'll still have that interest next week. So it's like a lot of people will have a bit, I've just had the most wonderful business idea. And then they're like surprised how in a month they're not passionate about it. And you're like, you didn't even know what it was a month ago. So why would you be so passionate about it a month from now? I think if you can choose something that you're interested in, in a somewhat enduring i think if you can choose something that you're interested in in a somewhat enduring way then you can at least rely on the fact that what you it's kind of like if you've been wanting to study something at college it like you're 30 now and all the way through your 20s you've always said i want to go back to college to study

whatever it is you can sort of trust in, at least to the extent that it's never going to weigh. It wasn't a fad interest. You're still interested in the idea of going and doing that. So there's some reliability in the ideas, in the passions that keep revisiting you in life. And I always think what's at the core of them. Like for me, dating is interesting, but it's not the core of my passion. The core of my passion is people, psychology, ideas. That's the enduring part. So even if I get tired of talking about dating, the stuff that drives my interest in talking about dating isn't something that's about to go away with me. And I can rely on that. The medium might change. I might not be interested in doing a podcast or you know or

you know i might want to write more than i made videos or i might want to make videos more than i write or may want to do tours i may not want to do tours but the interest in people and in the ideas is has always been a feature of my life so i can rely on that not going away i think one of the things that happens for people when they start a business is that they realize quite quickly they're having to wear hats that they didn't think they'd have to wear. You know, you wanted to be a content creator of some kind. And now you realize you have to figure out how to use, how to create titles for YouTube that are going to work for the algorithm so that people actually see your videos. Or design a thumbnail or something on your own. Right. Or figure out how to generate a mailing list so that you have people to actively promote

to when you have a new video or figure out how to bring on a member of your team. And now all of a sudden you're a manager, you know, you, you need people to help you. And let's say you hire two people. Now you're hire two people now you're managing two people and you didn't see yourself as a manager you know you're like oh i'm not a manager but you are so i think what happens for a lot of people is that they they're surprised how little time they get to spend doing the thing that they actually set out to do in the first place right and how much time they end up spending on the mechanics of trying to get a business off the ground. There's a very different, there's a big difference between being a therapist and the business of being a therapist.

There's a big difference between being a coach and the business of being a coach. Being an artist and the business of being an artist. And I think that some people overestimate the, they overestimate the extent to which they want to have a business. What they really want is to do the thing they like doing, but they don't necessarily want to have a business. And I guess you, to be able to do those things, you either find other people who can plug your gaps or you just learn enough so that you can manage that part. Like you have to, like you say, if you have a deep enough reason why you love this, you'll find, okay, I can foray a little bit into sales or marketing to figure this out because I really, really care about this message. Well, here's the thing.

There is nothing in life. Like the business metaphor, the idea of I have to run a business to do the thing I love applies to everything. There is no life where all day, every day you do exactly what a business to do the thing I love applies to everything. There is no life where all day, every day you do exactly what you want to do. Like you may want to live in a nice apartment, but sometimes you're going to have to clean or do dishes or, you know, like it's, there's always things that you have to do that are just getting you to the thing you want to do. That's why it pisses me off so much when people talk about like, it should be fun. Like I've had people say that to me before, where they're like, they see me stressing

about something or they see me like working hard and be like, God, this is, this is tough. This should be fun. I'm like, what are you talking about? As if the objective is always fun. Like the highest order in life, the highest objective is to have fun right because not it's not like a lot of the time doing this is not fun it's rewarding it's fulfilling it gives me and you tremendous purpose don't confuse those things with fun fun is what you get sometimes yeah when you're in a flow when you're enjoying the moment when that moment where i'm or when you're sitting coming up with it when we're chatting about a new video idea that's like

the fun bit where we're coming up with it and it's all theory and wouldn't it be cool wouldn't it be cool if we did this and shot it like that do you know what's fun the last 10 minutes of me having just given a show on stage for the last three hours like the fun when i realize i've just done it i'm on tour i'm in my event the event hasn't sucked it's it's gone really well and oh my god this is amazing like that moment it could be 10 minutes in if i get to that moment 10 minutes in but here's what's not fun pulling up to a venue and seeing a line down the block in new york of people who are waiting to see you at that moment where you're like holy shit like i've got to deliver here that i wouldn't describe that as fun i describe it as many things and some of them are positive but fun wouldn't fun in that moment some people may have the most fun in that moment for me i'm

like i gotta go and well it's fun for me because i get to meet all the fans right and then i think oh my brother's gonna go and smash it. He's going to be fine. But I don't have the worry in your head. Yeah. So I think, yeah, he'll pull it out the bag. He'll be fine. But fun shouldn't be the goal all the time.

I don't even know if happiness should be the goal all the time. Yeah, I think that's fair. We're getting deep with that one. Yeah, I think that's fair. I think happiness might be overrated some of the time. Well, hold that because we might play a game be overrated some of the time well hold that because

we might play a game of by the way some of you some of you are saying like save the live i'm not gonna save this live because it's just gonna be too he'll be on the podcast it'd be on the pod you'll be able to listen to it on the podcast so i won't save this live this would just be for you guys that are actually here um so let's go to a love life question um if you need constant communication and the person you're interested in can go days or weeks without a proper conversation how do you relay this sentiment to someone you are newly talking to newly talking to how is it relevant with someone you're you're, how do you communicate to someone you're newly talking to that you don't want to be with them if they're someone that can go weeks

without a real conversation? I guess she's saying she likes them, but she needs constant communication and they can go days or weeks without a proper conversation. Well, listen, you have to differentiate between liking someone and being compatible with someone. Those are different things. You can really like someone. I can really like certain guys that when I see them for an hour every three months, I'm like, I love this dude. So much fun. But it doesn't mean we're compatible as friends.

It doesn't mean that I would rely on this human being. It doesn't mean that this person is someone that I could have in my daily life without it negatively impacting me. So you have to distinguish between people you like and people that are truly compatible with you, the life you want to live, where you're going, what your needs are. You say this a lot. It's a great line. How easy is it to get your needs met in the relationship we're all going to have moments where our needs aren't met for for a brief time or for a period or whatever but is it constantly difficult to get your needs met and i would say on the level of being able to have conversations with your partner if you feel you're with someone who

talks to you you know who barely has a good conversation with you every few days and that's important to you then you have you don't have a likability issue with this person but you do have a compatibility issue with this person and i think that's something that you should you know you that's something that's worth talking about even in like the earlier you are in dating the less you entitled you are to talk about it as a deficit in the other person you more have to talk about it as just something that you want right something that you're looking for like conversation being able to connect deeply with someone like that's really important to me that's something i always look forward to you

you like that too yeah and let them tell you the answer if they give you the complete wrong answer and that's proven by what you see in the next few weeks then you know you have a compatibility issue yeah i love that um okay let's do yeah let's do uh one more question then we'll go to a round of overrated or underrated um so i've never played that game i've always been jealous of people who get to play that game um so uh okay we'll do we'll do one more okay this this might be interesting um hey matt i have a question for the podcast i would be really interested in the insecurities that you have to struggle with because you are one of the most confident people here on social media and a great role model. And that's why I'm

always wondering if there was anything you have to struggle with. Do you say, I don't know if I'm one of the most confident people on social media. Luckily she said it. So I would never, you would never catch me saying that about myself i um people do describe you as you know to me as like matt's so confident in himself and you know they they feel like you're you got it made right i what insecurities why i think i have all the same insecurities as other people i think it's always the extent to which your insecurities dominate you yeah because what is that then if you've got all the insecurities other people have is it is it just perception that you're perceived as more

confident because i i think there is a a level of confidence in you that many other people don't possess. But as your brother, I know there are things, you know, like all of us, there are things you think, oh, I'd like that to be a bit different about myself. Oh, I don't feel great in my body today or this. So what do you think that is? Do you think you just are good at overcoming those or, you know, not letting those those define you how you're going to come across i think it's a combination of things it's you firstly you do what you can where you can right so you work on your body to the extent that you can your looks you work on them to the extent that you can you there are certain things that you

you do what you can with what you have it's not being confident isn't about accepting the worst version of yourself you figure out what power you have over certain things we can all groom shape ourselves look after ourselves in order to look better and feel better if we're talking about physical for example which is a major level of area of insecurity for a lot of people. And then past that point, I think confidence can be a combination of self-acceptance and fatalism. Self-acceptance in that you grow to love, you know, you sort of love, you know, we talk about this on the retreat. You love yourself because you're all you have and because you're someone that you're responsible for. Right? People don't love their kids because they're the best. They love their kids because they're responsible for their kids and because they want the best for them um so that's the self-acceptance part the fatalistic part is the part where you go fuck it no matter how much i worry about this thing it isn't gonna get better like it's not

it's not me worrying that i don't look as hot as that person isn't going to make me hotter. So this is what I'm, I'm here on this earth once, and this is what I have. Right. So let me go and make the most of that and stop worrying that I can't, that I'm not as whatever as this person, because I'm not, I'm just not like, it's, there's certain things i'm never gonna be and i think that when you get comfortable with that and when you get fatalistic about it then you just go well then i'll do the best i can with that right that guy is not better than me because he was born better looking or taller or whatever like it it doesn't that that's like, that's the lottery he won.

Yeah. Right. We won certain lottery tickets too. Like, but it doesn't, it doesn't make someone better than me that they had different resources, that they were gifted different things at the outset. That doesn't make anyone better than me.

Yeah. Just means that's what they got. So this is what I've got. were gifted different things at the outset that doesn't make anyone better than me yeah just means that's what they got so this is what i've got what my my whole game in life is what can i do with that and what can i do with that this is what i got yeah what could i do with it like that to me is what makes your life a work of art it's like how can i play the game with these cards like what kind of game could i play with these yes like i this yeah what art could i make out of the i've been given a it's like you know like in uh what what are the shows like master chef or whatever where they just get given like a handful of random ingredients right right yeah yeah like a bit of carrot here's some

cinnamon there's some creme fraiche. Here's a bit of salmon. And they're just like, go for it. They don't sit there for the next hour that they have crying over the ingredients. They ain't go, I bloody wish I had some creme fraiche right now. No, they go, I've got an hour. I've got one hour to make the most of these ingredients. And how good of a chef I am has zero to do with these ingredients.

It has everything to do with how I use the... I'm not going to be graded on how good of a draw I did in the beginning on my ingredients. That's not what MasterChef is about. Is it even MasterChef, the show that I'm talking about? It's one of them. It's one of the shows where they get given the ingredients. It's one of the thousand cooking shows. I'm not going to get graded on like i drew the ingredient they don't all draw ingredients

and then the show ends there and they go well jonathan won because he drew a bit of steak and some garlic butter and some asparagus and jonathan got the ribeye no one's gonna top that yeah call it call it jonathan's drawn the ribeye like they don't that's not the show that wouldn't be a show right all right it's not roulette it's the show is they all get given ingredients let's now see how great of a chef they are that's life. We all got ingredients. We're not going to be great. Like anyone worth talking to isn't going to grade you on your ingredients. They're going to grade you on what did you do with those ingredients?

That's how that's now you're a chef. Be a chef. Don't be someone who's trying to draw a good hand. And even for me, even if no one thinks you, even if no one ever realizes what you did with those ingredients you do and that's worth noting too go back and look at what you did with your like look at if you want confidence look at what you already did with a

bunch of your ingredients like what did you already do what where have you already been a chef yeah in your life and that you're not giving yourself enough credit for because if you look at that you'll see you you we forget those really quickly right we forget really quickly the amazing recipes we have put together yep because we just move on from that and go yeah but i'm i i didn't i haven't achieved this yeah because you're always looking at the meal that you haven't cooked but But look at the ones you already cooked. That's amazing. If I want to get ridiculously confident right now, all I need to do is look at the meals I already cooked.

And then I'm going to go, my God. And I cooked those meals with who I was five years ago or 10 years ago. I was a much worse chef then than I am today and look why i already cooked so imagine what meal i can cook today with why i have wow man damn it's a good podcast um okay well uh we should do a video on that we should we should do a weekend video on that um well how long have we been going for oh i don't know how long is your instagram site look i'll tell you i'll tell you what let's do this we've done it we've done a lot on instagram i'll end the instagram live but you won't miss the rest because we'll do the rest on the you'll see you'll hear the rest on the podcast.

Okay. When will they get this podcast, Steve? Roughly? They can get it within the next couple of days. We'll post it. Next couple, and that's from Stephen there. So you've heard that on the live. Next couple of days, we'll get you the rest of this.

You can listen to it all on the podcast. Yeah. Love Life podcast, iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher. Go and subscribe. It's called love life and you can find it on all of those platforms all right appreciate you guys i love you all and i hope you're having a wonderful day wherever you are so sir why don't we why don't we end this little chat we've had with a round of overrated underrated i'll toss out a few random things and you will say whether they are overrated or underrated

or you may say appropriately rated uh are you up for playing i'm very very excited about this game i've never been included in this game before and i always feel like it's someone you know it's someone amazing like uh you know what's his name the uh zero to one peter teal so it's like a peter teal or someone who gets to do this i i'm just glad to be well this is a format here this is a format taken from tyler cowan's wonderful Conversations with Tyler podcast. But yeah, so I'll throw a few out at you. Los Angeles. Under, whoa.

Both. Both underrated. Appropriately rated? It's underrated by people who sneer at it as just some stupid sort of relic to Hollywood and superficial entertainment people. And it's overrated, I suppose, by people who have been in L.A. too long and have bought into the hype of it. Right. Like LA is incredible because it's not just a place that attracts a lot of talent

and a lot of really interesting, diverse people. It's somewhere that's got a lot of proximity to other interesting places. Yes. You can go to Big Sur, you can go to San Diego, Montecito, you can go to Big Bear. You know, there's all these amazing places around one

of the best things about la is how close it is to other great things but i can understand anyone who gets sick of the bubble of it good answer um that is true on the game you can say who it's underrated or overrated by really yeah that's well caveated um okay cold exposure therapy i want to say underrated but i feel like it's quickly going the other way you went on a big cold exposure retreat this year i did lockdown before coronavirus i went i was with wim hof and a group of super humans and we went for five days and we did jumping off of cliffs into frozen lakes and 10 minute ice baths. And we did quite,

we went up a mountain in the snow in nothing but our shorts. So that. So by the wider public, is this underrated as a practice? I think that it's underrated by the, the wider public public but it has like blown up right like recently you had justin bieber on ellen talking about how he does a cold plunge every morning and and then wim hof retweeting or re putting up a story about

justin bieber once justin bieber is ritualizing your work i think it's no longer underrated right all right that's fair enough i'd say most people still don't know about it though so i guess to most people they do they do after babes has said it um brazilian jiu-jitsu underrated underrated. That is a discipline that I would think is great for anyone who doesn't chronically suffer from injuries all the time. But even then, there are people that say it's a great thing. You can last a long time in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. People do it into old age, in other words. Right. words right people who do you know boxing you get hit in the head repeatedly it's not exactly a long-term fitness option if you actually want to spa whereas brazilian jiu-jitsu you can roll with people for a long time without the head trauma and also i just i truly it's one of the most you want to talk mindfulness like getting in the ice cold exposure therapy is great for mindfulness because you can't think of anything else while you're doing it you all you can think

of is the terrible pain you're in no i mean it's you you think of how you know it's a very it makes you very present but brazilian jiu-jitsu is sort of like that too you're my mind i've done brazilian jiu-jitsu in some of the times where i'm going through the worst things and while i'm on that mat i'm i'm nowhere else i'm just there doing what i'm doing so i think it's a great meditative but also physical uh exercise at the same time uh okay are these answers too long for no no no they're fine are they this is the right length you can give as much or as little explanation as you want. Okay. Dating apps. Overrated or underrated?

How many times do people who play this game say both? Some people say appropriately rated, or they say who by, who it's overrated by. Okay, I would say overrated by dating apps, because they want you to believe that the only problem really is that the only reason you haven't found love is because you haven't met them yet and that is a gross oversimplification of why a lot of people aren't getting the results they want in their love life but i think it's underrated by people who have some philosophical aversion to it altogether. I think that that can, you know, I spoke to someone just the other day on a kind of TV event I did where she said, I just really don't want to have to tell the story of how I met someone on a dating app.

And I thought, you know what, that's valuing the wrong thing ultimately because it shouldn't be about you you've got the whole of the rest of your life for romance with someone you shouldn't have to worry that much about the first meeting being really romantic right like get just worry about getting in the same room with that person right yeah because the you have your whole life to be romantic with that person sort of being picky about the wrong thing yeah like would you would you rather have the love of your life and you met on a dating app because you have your whole life to be romantic with that person. You're sort of being picky about the wrong thing there. Yeah. Would you rather have the love of your life

and you met on a dating app or have that principle and you never meet them? Yeah. And the love of your life is also like you trying really hard to meet somebody. You know, if they're ready for a relationship, they are going out of their way to try and find it too. So if anything, have sympathy for the fact

that they are on a dating app looking for you. Yeah, yeah, exactly. are going out of their way to try and find it too so if anything have sympathy for the fact that they are on a dating app looking for you yeah yeah exactly and i agree with you the people who philosophically disdain dating apps i think are missing out to some extent yeah yeah um owning a rice cooker so underrated why so underrated you own one right you got one recently yeah and it's so underrated why it's so underrated you own one right you got one recently yeah and it's the it's one of the greatest things i've i've got in a long time why why is it good to have a rice cooker well i cook japanese rice in there when i do when i cook like japanese meat on the grill i i cook my rice in there and it's perfect every time steven there's no variation warm and bit sticky yeah it's perfect every time and then if you want to just step away from it and be like

oh just i'll have a bit more in a couple of hours you just leave it on the heat in the rice cooker and you come back to it whenever you want you've got rice all day would you ever go the japanese way and have rice in the morning with a bit of salmon or um the thing is i think i eat too much for that to be a way of life for me i think the japanese can eat rice in the morning or any time of day because they have portion control right and you do not i you know yeah i don't not in the same way i can't trust myself with a bowl of rice in the morning. All right, last one. Last one.

Tom Cruise as an actor. Underrated. Okay. Underrated. I think that people think Tom Cruise... I think people who don't appreciate Tom Cruise think of him as just some sort of mission impossible jack reacher you know running around doing stunts which by the way even that is underrated you think about the fact that he

does his own stunt he doesn't need to do that he's a maniac doing his own stunts and crazy stuff but even on top of that the guy the guy can really he's an incredible actor yeah i wouldn't say well but he has even shown diversity look at tropic thunder tropic thunder right if that isn't diversity i don't know what is he's willing to throw himself in he goes for it i i think there is a man with a ton of charisma, with an incredible acting ability. I don't know how, I think he's underrated. Clearly it's not affecting him that he's underrated. Yeah, it's hard to say when the top grossing box

of movie stars ever is underrated. I don't think anyone's playing the violin for him. Well, very good. I'll throw in one more for good measure since you're a los angeles man kombucha oh god it's got to be so overrated hasn't it steve i couldn't even tell you the last time i drank a kombucha okay i just know whenever i come to see whenever i come to see you in la it's always in every not Not in my fridge. No, in every shop. Yeah, you won't find it in my... But I like kombucha. But tell me, when is the right time?

It's hard. It's almost like a midday something to swig while you're working, isn't it? But it's sugary, right? It doesn't taste that healthy. But I think it's high in sugar content, no? Yeah. So I just feel like that's going to be your cheat. It doesn't taste that healthy. But I think it's high in sugar content, no? Yeah. You know, so I just feel like that's going to be your cheat.

Like if you're going to cheat and have a bit of sugar, someone's going to pull me up on this. Because I bet you I've got it all wrong. But I... Well, they say gut flora and these sorts of things. Yeah, I know. Above my pay grade. Mine too i don't i just always think um there's never a moment where i think this is the right time to have a kombucha and yet you go to certain shelves in certain stores and there's wall-to-wall kombucha

right well this is this is going to be the teaser clip for the podcast i think this is the hot take from this one do you think we can use any of the the overrated underrated stuff do you think it's interesting enough oh yeah that's all going in really yeah that's fresh stuff people don't hear this from you they don't know they don't know my opinions on tom cruise podcast exclusive okay did i i don't know if i did a good job of the over the you did a great job yeah yeah yeah excellent well it's my first time it's your first time i thought you did great i hope i get to play it many more times because it's a really enjoyable game i've got more for you so we'll rejoin this another time um all right why don't we wrap up there um i'm gonna have to cut all this

together wait let me just give you one real quick podcasts overrated or underrated oh that's a good one i still funnily enough considering all that's spoken about them in the wider public underrated loads of people i know do not listen to podcasts at all which is astonishing because there's so many of them now i'm starting to think more people have podcasts than listen to them yeah exactly it's it's possibly over it's overrated by the people who think they're a substitute for deep knowledge and reading and learning i don't find that i am absorbing you know tons of important factual information from podcasts but for the amount of dead time you have in a day where you run you walk

you get a coffee you go to the gym i feel that it is actually a way of ingesting something quality for free most of the time while you're running or doing whatever you know doing a chore i can't believe how many people i know go oh i don't listen to any podcasts and i think you would love that podcast but you know what that's so true that I think the danger is people thinking they are a substitute for books. Because they are... A book gives you so much more information. Anyone who thinks like, oh, I just skimmed a quick idea from a...

Like, to me, I never get the depth of information anywhere else that I do in a book, ever. No. And so I don't think there's some substitute for learning. Like I listened to a true crime podcast and now I know all about, I don't even think an audio book is a substitute for a book. I agree with that. I think there are different ways people take in information,

but I still don't think it's quite the same concentration, but you cannot be passive reading a book no you can be passive listening to an audiobook but still get the validation of i made it through that book you the only way to make it a book an actual book is like a five kilometer race you can only get to the end by actually running five kilometers you can't get to the end of a book by just sitting there while it happens to you right that's true all right um well let's see so it's been probably several hundred years since the gutenberg press but books are still underrated we've established. So there we go.

All right. Well, thanks so much for doing this, bro. Our listeners are going to lap up having this much quality Matthew in a lovely sandwich. I've loved being here. Let's do this again. And the podcast, for people that don't know, comes out, is it twice a week? It comes out twice a week, yeah. And and uh subscribe of course so you get every episode we've got plenty more to come uh we've had a great year on the podcast and we're coming into the end of the revival year of this and uh

people have been loving it so thank you for all of your kind lovely words and the year ain't over yet so more to come and by the way if you haven't already go check out mhvirtualretreat.com because we did a we did our first ever virtual Matthew Hussey retreat for people from all over the world to do the retreat virtually for over a decade we've run our live retreat retreat twice a year for five days uh at a time in or six days at a time in Florida here in the States or there in the States where I normally am. And people have always wanted to be able to do the retreat, but many people can't come either because of finances or travel or getting their kids looked after, the dog looked after, getting time off work, they're a teacher, they can't make

the dates. There's all these reasons. Well, for the first time ever, there is no big reason why you shouldn't do it. It's a lot more affordable than the live retreat, the virtual retreat, and it doesn't have any of the logistical complications of the live retreat. It's three days of total immersion with me. Stephen's a part of it. My dad's a part of it. We bring our family in and you'll be joined by people from all over the world in what will also give you a new community of people. I think this is a time when we all need community. And a lot of people say to me, Matt, how do you actually develop community? How do you make new friends? How do you meet new people? This is going to give you a brand new network of amazing people

from all over the world, in addition to the coaching that you get for three days. So this is happening again in March of 2021, from the 19th to the 21st. And we are so excited about it here. If you want to go find out more, go to mhvirtualretreat.com. All right. Wonderful. Thank you so much. A pleasure, listeners. And we'll get that lovely theme song to take us out.

Cue the song. All right. See you soon, everyone. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. I see the blog sites. Got a new wife. Shorty got a new boo. Yeah, love beautiful. I'm looking for love.