Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 95: How To TRULY Get Over Your Heartbreak...

Episode Date: March 13, 2021

Heal your heart and move on strong from your breakup. Tap Below to Watch Your FREE Training . . . → http://www.MoveOnStrong.com​ --- I’ll keep this short. If you’re experiencing any kind of pain right now from a “situation” or a relationship ending, this brand-new episode is a must-listen for you today. It could be the pain of having been ghosted . . . It could be the pain of someone you were seeing regularly going cold on you . . . Or it could be the terrible heartbreak of a long-term relationship falling apart when you didn’t want it to end. In this episode, my brother Stephen and I are not merely talking about how to get over your pain, but how to deal with it while you’re still in the middle of it—perhaps even in the worst phase, when it feels like it’ll never go away. I’m here for you. P.S. This message may be the greatest gift you can give a friend or family member who is experiencing this kind of pain right now. Who could you send this to to help them get through the day? --- ►► FREE download: “9 Texts No Man Can Resist” → http://www.9texts.com​ ►► FREE download: “5 Compliments to Get Him Addicted to You” → http://www.SayThisToHim.com​ ▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect with Me… ▼ Blog → https://www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/​ Facebook → https://facebook.com/CoachMatthewHussey​ Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/thematthewh...​ Twitter → https://twitter.com/matthewhussey

you're actually not going to feel like this for forever. It can't be. It cannot be. There is just no way. You are going to get better. And your emotions towards this, your emotions about this situation are going to change. Your feelings towards this person are going to change.

They're not going to stay the same. Well, before we dive into things today, Mr. Matthew Hussey, we have had a few missives in. A few little emails. We've had some more brilliant responses to ROM Zomcoms. That is horror movies spliced with romance movies. We've had some strange ones in, I will say. So Angeline Duran gave us resident weasel i think that's pretty good

that's a good one um also this isn't a horror film but she said a few men instead of a few good men that's not bad actually a few men yeah um ashley uh, she says, cracks knuckles. Here we go. Hemsidious. Pretty good. Psycho. Instead of psycho. I don't really get psycho.

I don't really get that entirely. Why don't you get it? He's calling someone a hoe, I guess. A psycho. I get it? He's calling someone a hoe, I guess. A psych hoe. I get it. Okay. The skeleton he, she says reaching here. The skeleton he.

That is reaching a bit, the skeleton he. I prefer him sidious. This one's good. The silence of the texts. And then she says, she does, can you hear the phone alert chimes claries no okay uh i prefer i would have made a done silence of the mans signs of that okay uh she says hisery like misery um now this one's proper weird the ex her cyst the ex her cyst. The ex, her cyst. Brackets, ex-boyfriend manifests as a boil on a poor woman's arm

who reinfects her intermittently with 2am breadcrumb messages. Well, I think that's actually quite creative. The ex, her cyst. It's completely bonkerskers but it's pretty creative it's brilliantly weird and a vivid image ashley um she says i have to go to work now this has been fun uh thanks for those ashley now steve i'm curious what what was the question we asked last episode oh last one natasha said the x exists so that's also a good one um uh so the question you asked last episode well we asked people things things that make them weird and we also talked about

things that make them more vulnerable and human okay what were some of the answers so uh we had this one from Marika who said, this one is for Stephen in particular. Eating tangerines or anything while having a hot bath isn't weird. It's one of the best things ever. Everyone should try. In fact, having a bath is a very creative environment. Archimedes would agree since he came up with his infamous principle whilst being in a bathtub

and said, Eureka, of course. Well, let me stop you there, Marika, because to my knowledge, Stephen hasn't come up with anything quite that special in the bathtub yet. And this thing of him, his little habit of going to the bath, his daily bath, where he always takes a tangerine, turned into two tangerines. Two tangerines, a coffee and a book. Right. And now we have a family WhatsApp where there's a big group between all of our family, cousins, aunts, uncles, whatever. Recently he posted a picture. it wasn't an x-rated picture obviously it was just a sort of picture of his bathtub set up well you know with a little feet sticking out the end

and there was not only two tangerines but also a banana right now again it does sound like i'm being explicit it that's i'm not describing steven's steven's genitalia there. He had in addition to that, he had two tangerines and a banana just laid out on his little tray. Honestly, Steve, it's like soon you'll need a fruit bowl, like an entire fruit bowl for the bath. Why do you keep adding new fruits? Some grapes, a pineapple, just me slicing a pineapple in the bath too much uh well okay fair enough um uh oh marika also said as a kid i remember i was misunderstood if not discouraged expressing my colorful unique inner world It would push me to withdraw from reality and plunge into a wondrous,

importable fantasy world where I could feel more me. She talks about Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Miyazaki world was astonishing and immensely amusing and I had the best time. But it's a shame that it took me 29 years to start openly sharing it and meet those who are familiar with such a world and can appreciate it. Keep going, gentlemen, you are inspiring and may best popcorn flavors be throwing your way this week. Lovely. And by the way, for those we, we are, cause we're obviously being listened to by Facebook and Instagram right now for all of you, those of you out there, we said, you know, what are the weird, the weird or human details about you that you don't say nearly enough,

but would actually make you a more three-dimensional attractive person if people knew them about you. But we hide, don't we? We hide and blend in instead of showing a little more of ourselves. We try and show, I talk about Steve's tangerines in the bath and dare I say, Steve, it humanizes you. Does it? I'm not saying it makes you more attractive to everyone, but there's someone out there who hears that little detail about you and thinks... They get me a little bit.

I'm not just some analytical robot. They get me a little more. Yeah. Oh, he also enjoys a tangerine in the bath. If only that what the bloody weirdest thing about me that would be fine but no it's not obviously there's whole there's whole wardrobes in there um well we got another one uh sophie carolyn sent us a lovely email she said dear steven to give you some input when matthew asks again for feedback I really enjoy listening to the podcast.

The two of you are doing a great job. Love the advice. Sometimes I think you're the big brother. You asked for some... What does she mean by that? Well, I think there's a gravitas, a maturity, a depth of thought. I'm not...

Her words. Well, not her words, but... She says, you asked for some quirks. I walk around my apartment while brushing my teeth, high-five myself in the mirror, watch your videos on repeat. That's not weird. That's just good sense, Kara Sophie.

It says, organize my closet and my bookshelf in the rainbow method because I watched a home edit on Netflix and I i'm folding my socks like marie condo post-its on the bathroom mirror and the kitchen to remind me of important things that have to become habits and reorganizing the dishwasher at my parents home and in the office my colleagues love it enjoy your bubble baths cheers sophie i like that uh so guys we got one more email from Erin who just sent me a bunch of pictures

saying does this make me human and and the subject line was I make little people out of peanuts and there's just little peanuts

dressed up there's one there's a Santa Claus there's one there's a Rastafarian and just little peanuts dressed up in outfits

so she does this for work or is this a just a thing no no or is she just done it for you Steve it's just what she does um so can I that's cool we should get a couple of those up on our stories oh that'd be great yeah I'll one of our podcast listeners dresses peanuts up as little people. I'll ask permission from Aaron and we'll put some on stories. Very good. Well, I've got, okay, Steve, here's a question. I want to put this out to the audience. What, what do you, what's something you want more of in the podcast and what's something you want more of in the podcast?

And what's something you want to change about the podcast? So you're really asking, you're really asking for a gut punch. People can take it however they want. No, they can either be serious or they can be silly or they, you know, like whatever it is they want. What's, what do you like about it what do you want more of and what is there something you want to change you know like less less talk of steven in the bathtub i don't know a lot of people seem to be enjoying that stuff if anything that's that's

what this is all hanging on right now. Let's hope not. So, you know, one thing you really like about it and want more of, what's one thing you want to change about the podcast? Or if you could produce this podcast, what's one thing you would do to change, you know, more of this, less of that? Can we try this? And let's just say, let's let everyone co-author the podcast a little bit. All right.

Email at podcast at Matthew Hussey.com and blimey, I'm going to brace myself for this, but, uh, you know, and, and anything you say about Matt will be kept in confidence. I'll, I'll look through it. So, you know, so you want quite a few people reference, uh, that they either sometimes enjoy us bickering. Um, sometimes I think you're a a few people reference uh that they either sometimes enjoy us bickering um sometimes i think you're a bit bossy yeah yeah so there you go but steve that's that's because i always at all times know how great something can be I don't make it about your like commit I'm so committed to quality that I'm such a Steve Jobs artist that this you've got to excuse my ways because such is my devotion.

I'm just saying. They're talking about Resident Weasel. I mean. I'm just saying that sometimes I'm like, oh, I know, like we should do it this way or that way or whatever. So I can be a little, you know, I can try and produce things because I want it to be a certain, you know, like sometimes I worry. Someone said to me the other day, why does Matt always talk about how long the podcast is? And I've learned, Steve, I haven't mentioned apart from right now, I haven't mentioned that once

because I realized I was being. Who said that to you? Someone in the comments was like, why does Matt, why is Matt obsessed with the amount of time the podcast goes on for? And, but you know what, can I tell you why I'm obsessed, Steve? Cause the world is filled with people right now who are obsessed with the sound of their own voice. Right. Clubhouse clubhouse.

Jamison knew I was going to talk about clubhouse. Do you know what I mean? No, it's like, we've all got, everyone's got a podcast. Everyone's got a, everyone's got a podcast. Everyone's got a microphone. Everyone's got Instagram videos or whatever.

And more power to them. If they're doing good work, I support it. But just there's a lot of voices out there that love the sound of their own voice. And I'm just, I want to make sure that we're sort of delivering something. I don't know. Value, fun, Stephen. Tick, tick, tick. Right. So anyway, I, sorry, Steve, if I'm coming, if I come across, there are, but there are people that, yeah,

I think they see me in a video, Stephen, you know, Jameson's cut me together to be all smiley and they're like, and then they see me in a video, Steve, and Jameson's cut me together to be all smiley. And then they see me here and they're like, oh, is there something wrong today, Matt? This is just what I'm like. There's nothing wrong. Oh, what you see is what you get, folks. All right, we'll wrap it up there well everyone today we are talking about the beginning of the end we are not talking about the end of all things though it may feel like it when you go

through this we're talking about the end of a relationship and the initial terrible gut punch that happens when you suddenly face the end of a relationship. And you're in that. I liken it to when you first have the moment of a breakup. It's like you have the shock and all the tears and the moment where it happens and it's kind of this shocking traumatic moment and then it's kind of like that bit in the dark night where bruce wayne is thrown into that pit you know that that prison with the big circular prison and up somewhere is the light but you are just stuck in this dark hole and you have no idea how you're going to climb out of it. And I think it's one of the loneliest places you can ever be. You know, anyone who's gone through a breakup,

whether you initiated it, whether you were broken up with all of a sudden, that moment of withdrawal, that moment of feeling like a huge chunk of you has just been wrenched away. And now you're faced with, how am I going to piece myself together? What am I going to do? Like, you know, you go through the period of facing the truth of it and kind of at first, it doesn't feel real. And you wake up every day and you think oh god that did happen I have broken up with that person Matthew um that initial sting that place you're in I think a lot

of people get stuck there for varying amounts of times uh for different periods what's your initial thought on when you're faced with that kind of black hole you're in what do you think people's what's kind of your first instinct with your wisdom and experience now of when that moment happens you know steve this reminds me of a episode of Clarissa the Teenage Witch do you mean Sabrina the Teenage Witch yeah I do but I was getting a mixed up with Clarissa says it all which was a show same actor so yeah same actor it was Clarissa says it all wasn't it where he explains it all explains it Clarissa says it all I'm getting like mum where i can't remember the names of things clarissa says it all just sounds like she won't shut up she says it all didn't she just a really annoying teenager clarissa explains it always when they the bloke used to come through

the window do you remember yeah it was like was it what was his name sam why do i know so much about these 90s? He always, all I remember about, I don't remember anything else about Clarissa says it all, apart from him coming in through the window. Anyway, Sabrina the Teenage Witch. This reminds me, Steve, of an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Okay.

I'm listening. Well, I can't remember what happens in this particular episode. Brilliant. Well, that's good. Should we next anecdote? No, but listen, there's a moment where a friend, I forget her friend's name, but her friend cuts her hair too short. Jenny, her friend's name is Jenny.

Why do I know? I don't know why I still know that. So her mate Jenny gets her haircut off too short. And Clarissa, no, Sabrina has a, she's got powers, obviously. But I think there's something in this episode where she's like always saying the right thing or she's got the power to make everyone feel good. Okay. And so her friend gets a haircut off and Jenny's mortified that her hair's all gone. And Sabrina comes along and just says two words to her. She just says, hair grows. And Jenny just looks at her and she's like, hair grows. And you see in that, she walks away and she's fine.

She's like, it's just like she realizes that it's all all right, that hair grows. Two words like that can change your life. And we could do like a whole week workshop on breakups. But for anyone going through, anyone who's at the apex of the awfulness of grieving over somebody, I would say emotions change. They just, they don't stay the same so even when you're in the lowest low you are you know is it jonah in the belly of the whale yes that was an episode of sabrina teenage witch right so in jonah's in the belly of the whale it's like you you when you're that's the worst of the worst

of the how can it get any worse and the thought is it's always going to be like this i am in the worst possible place and it's and i can't survive this if this stays this way, I can't survive this. Yeah. Emotions change. This terrible feeling you have right now about losing this person. They're the love of my life. I'm never going to get over this. I'm going to miss them like this forever. When I see them with someone else, I'm going to have a full breakdown.

I'm never going to meet anyone like them again emotions change they just don't stay the same and that that you can that much you can rely on but you're actually not going to feel like this for forever it can't be it cannot be there is just no way. You are going to get better. And your emotions towards this, your emotions about this situation are going to change. Your feelings towards this person are going to change. They're not going to stay the same. Your feelings towards other people are going to change. Someone else is going to come on your radar and they're going to be interesting. And you'll like something else about them or love something else about them. And so it will all change. None of this is going to stay the way that it is right now.

So those two words, if nothing else, if you're at the worst moment of your breakup, if nothing else, just remember, emotions change. It's so um it feels like you know when it's a terrible breakup it's really it's like an emergency situation isn't it because you you don't you know you don't know where to turn in that moment and you don't know what's gonna make you like your your weight you're like what's the thing that's gonna make this okay and I think in that early stage it's it's really hard to see which is why I do think you know you're absolutely right you have to have like a degree of faith and and well it's rational as well but it's a rational understanding of this pain cannot this isn't

going to be my life people don't just stay in this shock forever but um i think it's so important as well that you engage in a procedure of emotional uh for lack of a for less cliche word self-care like you have to start that You have to put yourself on the right path to not prolonging it. You know, you, you've got a wound and now you've got to start applying the right antiseptic, the right balms and ointments, wrap the wound. You kind of have to do the right things now. Whereas, you know, if you start start keep going back to your old pictures you keep texting uh trying to see how they are you keep um rehashing it with people over and over again all these things you know if you go into alcohol and drugs and try to numb it by just having sex

with lots of people quickly you know all these things they kind of like do a moment of numbing and then you just feel dreadful and so I think you do have to engage in a procedure of like be okay with you can indulge in that moment for a bit I remember like Pete Holmes talked about that the comedian when you know his wife left him and it's terrible. But he said, there was a bit of me that kind of really indulged in that pain for a while. He just ate Chinese food in bed and watched movies and just didn't want to do anything. And it's like, that's okay, that bit. But you've got to stop lost that part. You've got to decide, okay, I'm not going to wait until I'm 50 pounds heavier and six months have gone by and I'm not going to wait until I'm 50 pounds heavier and six months have gone by and I'm in a terrible place now. My self-esteem's crashed. You have to go, okay, I'm going to start building the ladder of self-esteem again. I'm going to

turn self-hatred into self-love. I'm going to start treating myself like someone I care about. And if I was just looking at this person from the outside, I would be like, okay, let's just get you out for a walk today. Let's get you to go and have a chat to a friend who brings you a bit of joy or someone who you know, like makes you laugh a bit and just like gently, like do a phone call, do one phone call. And I think these things, if you just start that, that little upward spiral, you can, you know, things start to get a bit better each day. I agree. And in, and not feeling like, you know, the word gently is kind of interesting because there's certain parts of it. You're just

not going to outrun. Like when you're truly heartbroken, you're not just going to like gym your way out of that. Do you know what I mean? You're not just going to nights with friends out your way out of that. You're gonna just you know party through it until like yeah yeah or even you know self-help your way out of it through you know it's listening to so many podcasts in a day or a week or whatever you those things are things that realign your focus they build other muscles you know it's we've talked before about it. If you imagine it's like one part of your body is injured. Let's say your heart, your heart is injured. So you're training other parts of your body. You want to keep doing that because you don't want to wake

up when you feel better. Being heartbroken is one problem, but you don't want to wake up in six months with six problems because you being heartbroken meant that you didn't do any, you didn't work any of the other muscles. You don't, if you injure your, your shoulder, you've got a problem, but you don't want to wake up six months from now with weak legs or a weak core or a bunch of problems that have come from eating badly or, you know, those things don't have to be problems alongside it. So it's like, sometimes I think we're so focused on trying to make the injured muscle feel better instead of being like, that thing's going to be injured for a minute. That's okay. You don't have to try to speed that up to an unnatural rate of healing because when we do that, typically we're lying to ourselves in some way.

You know, we're telling ourselves everything's all right and making ourselves so absurdly busy that we have zero time to even think. But the moment you have downtime, the moment it gets to 11 o'clock at night and your head hits the pillow again, that stuff's all coming rushing back in anyway. At some point it catches up and you still have to go through the hellish part of it. You can make it, reduce it, but you're still going to go through the tough part. But you want to make sure that you accept that you have a problem, an issue. And by the way, it's not in a sense, it is a real problem, but it's also a real problem. There's a real opportunity.

It's a real opportunity for growth. It's a real opportunity for healing. It's a real opportunity for self-care. It's a real opportunity to build your relationship with yourself, self-love. It's a real opportunity to show yourself that you can deal with very difficult things in life. It's a real opportunity to build your kind of toughness and your resilience and the invincibility that comes from knowing you can get over anything, which is going to make you really valuable to the next person. I'm more valuable to people because of my heartbreak. There is no question about it. I am more valuable because of heartbreak in my life. I would be less valuable in this conversation right now

if I didn't have heartbreak. And anyone who has been through heartbreak, you may not be out there coaching tons of people or making videos, but if you're out, if you've just got a friend or family member or someone in your life who comes to you for help, you're going to be more helpful as a result of this heartbreak. It's going to make you a better, more useful person in the world. Your suffering will make you more useful in the world. So it's only a problem to the extent that it hurts. It's not a problem in the sense of your growth, but right now you have an issue, but you don't want to wake up with six more issues six months from now because you didn't take care of the other things, except that it's going to be,

there's going to be a tough period. That's okay. You're not, you're not doing something wrong because it hurts. You're just go, your job right now is to go through that tough period, but I can't even focus at work. I'm waking up and I can't, you know, I'm a zombie around my friends. I feel like I'm irritable and grumpy around my family. I'm, you know, I'm going into work and I feel like I'm doing a bad job or whatever. Then your job is to do the best you can where you are. Your job is not to be as good as you were three days before the breakup that you didn't see coming. Your job is to be the best you can be right now within the parameters of what you're feeling and what you're experiencing. And that's true of anything in life.

Your job is not to be as good as somebody else because your circumstances aren't the same. You know, someone who suffers from incessant pain, like chronic pain, you got a woman who suffers from migraines every day, right? And is comparing her demeanor to someone who doesn't suffer from that. Well, she's so upbeat and she's so chipper and she's got, she's living a different life to you right now. Making that comparison is, is pointless.

Your job is to, to be the best you can be as a person with a migraine all day. That's your job. Your job is not to be as great as this person over here. Your job is to be the best you can be through this difficult thing that you're going through. Your measure can't be the same as somebody else's. And that's true in a heartbreak as well. But what compounds it is that we also feel like we suck. I'm awful around friends. I'm unbearable to be around. I'm suffering at work. I'm doing a terrible job of life. I'm this, I'm that. You're grieving right now. You're going through something extraordinarily difficult.

Your job's to do the best you can and if doing the best you can right now is waking up in the morning and getting through the day, if that's your best right now, then your job's to wake up in the morning and get through the day. It's not to see some Instagram video from some life coach who says, whatever's going on in your life, you're going to be the absolute best. You just something I'm wrong. Be upbeat. There's someone with it worse than you. There's someone who's going through hell. You think your problems are bad. Your problems are nothing to somebody else. That video is great at certain moments in life. Like sometimes a video like that hits you just right where you are. And it's the wake up call you need is the kick that you need. And it,

and it gets you out of like a victim mindset and gets you into some action. Sometimes that video is what's needed. And sometimes that video makes you want to tell someone to go fuck themselves. Because you're like, yeah, I get it. But in my bones right now, I am coping with feeling like shit. And that kind of video isn't for me right now. What I need is to know. What I need is to make it a win that today I woke up, did what I could, and went it a win that today I woke up, did what I could and went back to bed that night. That's a win for me right now. And that's okay. Sometimes what's a win right now in this

chapter of your life is different from what will be a win a year from now when you've got more momentum and you're in a stronger place and you've got more stamina, whether it's physical or emotional, then a win is different. Yeah. But you can't judge yourself by what was a win to you a year ago or three years ago when you're in a different place right now. Yeah. That's why you have to compare yourself to who you were yesterday, right? Not who someone else is today.

Yes. And be careful of even comparing yourself to who you were pre whatever has happened in your life. Yeah. You know, that's another thing we do is we don't just compare ourselves to other people. We compare ourselves to ourselves from five years ago or 10 years ago. Oh, I used to be able to do this so easily. Okay. But you're not you five years ago. You're not you 10 years ago. You're you today. I used to, this sport used to be so easy to me. Now my knee bothers me and what it,

you're you today. I used to be so happy and I used to now I'm okay. But maybe you from 10 years ago what found it easier to be happier because he or she didn't know shit. Or maybe that you didn't have the same problems. Maybe you didn't have the same responsibilities. Maybe you weren't trying to tackle as difficult a thing as you're trying to tackle today. So what's the point in that comparison with us from 10 years ago or five years ago? We had a different body, a different mind, different problems, different responsibilities, different tragedies, different pains, different everything. So we have to not only not compare ourselves to other people who are on a different journey,

have a different mind, different genes, different path, different everything. We have to also not compare ourselves to a previous version of ourselves, but wake up. And it's almost a form of mindfulness, isn't it? Who I am today. Like, who is the person that I'm having to deal with today? What's the brain chemistry that I'm having to deal with today? What's the body that I have to work with today? Who's the human being that I woke up with that I am charged with motivating today. Yeah. It's like if there's a storm outside today,

it doesn't matter that it was sunny, you know, seven days ago. Today there's a storm outside and you've got to deal with that. That's a new problem. Yeah. I think that's super powerful. And yeah, well, where do I follow from that? Did you have more questions for today?

Or was that like, you said that's going to be the subject for today? No, I think that is a great subject for today. I mean, I want to tell people that they can go and carry on this if it's something they're going through. emotionally put yourself on that track so that you are starting yourself however slowly however gently but on an upward spiral out of that condition to something where you feel hey things are actually there's some light here i can see a way through this and sometimes that's all it is it's not it's not you're going to reach this peak state, but you're like, I'm going to get through this. I know a way I can move forward. I talk a lot about going from the hangover model of breakups to the athlete model of recovery. Instead of drowning yourself in all kinds of junk and bad

stuff, you start deciding what can I train? You start thinking like when an athlete is injured, they allow themselves to heal, but they start the process of recovery, of getting better, of strengthening the muscles they can strengthen and asking of themselves all they can ask of themselves today. So if you want to do that and go check out that free guide,

go to moveonstrong.com. And of course, Steve, we've got very soon now our virtual retreat, which is a live three-day event. So don't miss that coming up. If you want three days of coaching immersion, go to mhvirtualretreat.com. If you're like, when's the next time I can see you live, Matthew and Steven, it's at this three day live event. And don't worry if you can't make it on the exact weekend, because the recording is going to be available for two weeks. So you can spend three days transforming your life. Steve, there's a thousand, there's 10,000 experts speaking at us every single day in health, in nutrition, in confidence, in dating, in our life plan, in our business, all of it. There's so many experts online that it becomes

so overwhelming. And the virtual retreat is about just creating a very simple and elegant plan for how to make your life better, happier, more peaceful, less stress, but more joy, more achievement as you define it, not as we define it, and a life better lived. And Steve, I'll tell you this. I've spent many years now getting to this point where we've got something we're very proud of and we've built this amazing company and we've reached people all over the world and I still have these moments regularly where I think I'm not enjoying this as much as I should be. I am more stressed than I should be. I still have moments of living in comparison. I still have moments where I become disconnected from what I truly love about what we're doing. And I still have moments where I think this isn't, I need to be at a place of greater peace. And I am well aware that the tools that got me to where I am on an

external level are not the same tools as the ones that will get me to a place of peace and happiness on an internal level that the it's a different operating system and i'm a big believer in that idea what got you here won't get you there and we need to all of us redefine what there means to us and then create a path for getting there with a new set of tools and a new mindset and a new set of belief systems that's going to help with that. And so this virtual retreat that we're doing over three days on March the 19th to the 21st isn't about me lecturing you. It's about me saying, I'm doing this journey for myself right now. If you relate to what I'm saying, if you relate to the journey that I'm on, come be part of the journey with me. Because I've been running this retreat with you, Steve, for 14 years now. And it evolves all the time because we evolve all the time. So if you came to a retreat five years ago, it's different today because I've changed and grown so much in the last five years

and my journey is different. So this is us not inviting you to come to a place where we have all the answers, but come to a place where we're on a journey to be better and to live better lives and to challenge ourselves in different ways. Because everyone coming to the virtual retreat is already an impressive person, but it's about saying, we've got to be more than impressive. We've got to be happy. We've got to be able to enjoy things and live the life we want. So you can go join us at mhvirtualretreat.com and come and see us very, very soon. Well, thank you, Matt, for helping people through what is, I think, one of the most difficult life experiences truly you can ever face is heartbreak. And it can be a very, very lonely place, but know that

Matthew and I have faced it. We've gone through that dark tunnel in our separate ways at different times in our lives, and there is a path out of it so uh we're here with you if you're going through that and uh that is it brother so we'll say bye-bye and thank you for listening thanks guys see you soon Got a new wife, shorty got a new boo Yeah, love beautiful I'm looking for love