Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You

Episode Date: November 14, 2016

Do you feel entitled to the things you’ve “earned” in your career – title, status, salary, perks – because of how much time you’ve put in to your job? What about the attention, affection and devotion you get in romantic relationships – do you deserve this treatment for “sticking it out” with your partner?  If you think this way, I’ve got a major wake up call for you today. This may be a bit different from my usual LOVELife advice, but I strongly recommend you tune in, because I’m going to teach you the one secret to make sure no one else ever “steals your spot” and how to become indispensable in every relationship.

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. Quick question for you. Do you know the nine words that you can text a man that will make you completely irresistible to him? No, I'm not talking about sexting. This is much more intelligent because it allows you to keep your standard and drive him crazy with desire at the same time.

Think you can guess what it is? I'll come back to this at the end of the show today. So make sure not to miss a minute. There's a particular thing that's been bothering me lately. And it's when I hear people talk about what they're entitled to at work. When I hear people say, oh, I've been working somewhere for so many years, I should get this. I should get that. This type of language frustrates me. Firstly, because I hate the words I should, like I should have this. To me, the language in there is so weak. Firstly, no one cares what we should have, or no one cares what you believe you're entitled to. All that matters to other people is how much value we actually add.

That's what matters. And too often, especially in companies, I hear people talk about what they're owed by the company because they've been somewhere so long. Um, and you know, I've been working there for seven years. How dare they do this and this? Well, you know what? Sometimes I feel like, firstly, you didn't do those seven years as a favor, right? You got paid for those seven years. So that wasn't you doing it out of charity. You did it. You were there seven years because you got paid. Um, and no one cares how long you've been a company. That's not the thing that matters. What matters is how valuable you are today. And if you're not rating yourself based on how valuable you are today, you're going to lose out. You're always going to lose out to the

person who comes in and adds more value to the person who can bring more. The moment we start feeling entitled just because we've been somewhere a long time, just because we think we've earned our place over time, the moment we get entitled is the moment someone is going to be waiting to steal our spot who is younger, hungrier, more talented, more driven, has more energy. That's when that person is going to steal your spot. We have to get out of the entitled mode of saying someone owes me something or that I should be given credit for work that I did yesterday because it doesn't matter how good you were yesterday.

And we have to stop being so entitled about what we did well yesterday or how long we've been somewhere or what we think we deserve and focus on what we are and in what ways we are actually adding value today. That's the only thing that matters. If we want more, if we think we're not getting what we deserve, then we have to focus on how to make ourselves more valuable. It is the only cure for being dispensable. The only cure is to be better, is to make yourself indispensable. As Steve Martin said, be so good they can't ignore you. Think about how a football team works. In a football team, no one is saying, well, I was really good last year. Keep me in the team. The coach doesn't care. In a football team, if you're not performing right now, you're on the

bench. You're out. Or you're not even on the coach going to the game. You're not performing right now, you're on the bench, you're out, or you're not even on the coach going to the game. You're not performing, you're out. The football team doesn't have any sentimental value around somebody. They say you're either a top player, a peak performer on this team, or you're not on the team. Now, life isn't always as harsh as that. Sometimes in companies, sometimes in relationships, people give us the benefit of the doubt. They say, you have been working here a long time. I'm going to give you some credit for that. Or they say, you have been in this relationship a long time. I want to honor that because we've been together for 10 years and I don't want to just leave because you're not great right now.

So sometimes life is a little softer than a football team. But here's my opinion. Treat it as if it's just as harsh as a football team. Because even though your boss, your partner, your friend might allow you to ride for a little while on how good you were before and how long you've been in it, that will not last forever. That goodwill has an expiration date. And the only way to sustainably be valued by people is to be as valuable today, if not more, as you have ever been. And to keep finding new ways of adding value and making yourself an even greater asset. We must not coast. Let's keep getting better, my friends. If you want to join me for the conversation on Facebook,

go to facebook.com forward slash coach Matthew Hussey. I will see you there or in the next episode of Love Life. So have you guessed what those nine words are that will make you irresistible to men? No? Well, I've included that. And eight other equally effective scripts in a free guide I've created for you called Nine Magic Texts No Man Can Resist.

The text I was talking about at the top of the show is number two of nine. Just copy and paste it or any of the nine texts tonight and he'll be eating out of the palm of your hand. To get your free guide, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash Texas.