Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Being Vulnerable Does Not Make You Weak

Episode Date: June 29, 2016

As a strong woman, you may think, “I don’t want to make myself vulnerable in love. It will make me seem weak.”  But is that really true? In today’s LOVE Life, I explain the difference between vulnerability and weakness, and show you why being open to getting hurt is actually the most courageous thing you can do. If you want true love, let down your guard and listen to this episode…

Welcome to Love Life. I'm your host, Matthew Hussey. Now, here's a secret about men that most women don't realize. Men really want to feel manly around you. If you know how to make him feel like a man, he'll want to be around you day and night. So how do you do this? I'm going to give you my five most powerful phrases for making him feel manly around you right after we get into today's topic. I thought I'd do something a little interesting today on Love Life and help people understand what vulnerability really is. Because so many women, when I tell them that vulnerability is attractive, they immediately associate it with weakness in their own minds.

And because they do that, they don't want to be vulnerable. I want to be a strong woman. I want to be independent. I want to be self-sufficient. I don't want to be perceived as weak. Now, here's the interesting part of that. Weakness and vulnerability are two very different things. Vulnerability originates from a Latin

word, which means to wound. In other words, the ability to be wounded. That's what it is to be vulnerable, that you can be wounded. You can be hurt. Now that doesn't imply weakness in, in, in essence, it really, uh, it just takes honesty to admit that you can be wounded, that you can be hurt. Weakness is something different. Weakness is the state or condition of lacking strength. Now take a look at these two words and how different they actually are. Vulnerability is the ability to be wounded. You're susceptible to a physical attack or emotional attack.

Weakness is lacking strength. Vulnerability is just being human. We all can be hurt. We all can be wounded. Weakness is not being able to take it when we do get wounded. And the strongest people in the world, ironically, are the ones who are able to make themselves vulnerable every day in what they do. They're the ones in jobs who go out there and put themselves forward for criticism, risk trying something new. You know, a music artist is vulnerable when they

try a completely different sound, and they risk all of their old fans not liking the new work that they do that's vulnerability but you'll notice it's also massive bravery in order to be vulnerable you have to by definition be courageous you have to be brave in relationships the people that actually fall in love the people that allow themselves to be in love that allow themselves to care to be passionate They're also the ones that have the courage to make themselves vulnerable because they say, I could get hurt in this situation and I'm going to do it anyway. Because somewhere inside, they know they're strong enough to come out the other side of it, even if they do get wounded. Weak people don't do this. Weak people are typically the ones that

avoid the game altogether, that put up walls around themselves so that they can't possibly get wounded because they're so afraid that they don't have the strength to take it. And we see this all the time. We see it in people's careers. They're afraid to put themselves up for jobs. They're afraid to try something new. They're afraid to go out there and do what they're passionate about. They're not in relationships because they're afraid to talk to someone in the first place.

Or when someone shows them love, someone shows that they care, they immediately put up walls around themselves and don't let anyone get too close because God forbid you get close and realize just how delicate I really am. That's why it's so interesting in life to see that some of the people that we most outwardly see as strong are the weakest. They're the ones that can't make themselves vulnerable. And I'm saying this to you now because if you're a woman out there, especially in your love life, who is avoiding the game because you're afraid to be vulnerable and you're afraid that you'll be weak, avoiding the game is weak. Avoiding the game is the greatest weakness there is.

To be vulnerable is to put yourself in the game and to know that you can be wounded in the process, but to do it anyway. To get in the boxing ring and know that by being in the ring, you're probably going to get hit at some point, but that's okay because it's better to be in the ring than to be on the sidelines, watching other people go in there and have all the fun and get the most out of life. So be vulnerable. You don't need to be weak. In fact, weakness is the inability to admit your vulnerabilities, the inability to put yourself forward. Go out there, be vulnerable, and you'll realize that being vulnerable is the true courage. That's the true confidence, not avoiding the game, not putting up walls so that you never have to be vulnerable in the first place. Thank you, my friends. If you want to come and follow me on Facebook,

go to facebook.com forward slash coach Matthew Hussey. It's full of good stuff on there, new content, new articles, new videos, and I will see you soon. Thanks, guys. So we started off today talking about the power of making a man feel manly around you but how do you do this it can be challenging to strike the balance so that you don't sound patronizing when you do this which is why i've carefully crafted five perfect phrases that you can say to any man that will make him feel like his best self around you. To download these five phrases, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash compliments.