Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Breaking Up During the Holidays (Surprise – it Could Be a GOOD Thing)

Episode Date: December 16, 2015

The holidays are a time of romance, of closeness, of snuggling up together by the fire and opening the gifts you thoughtfully picked out for one another… BUT what if you’re not feeling the love for your guy anymore?  If you’ve been thinking of breaking up with him, should you wait until after the holidays or just get it over with as soon as possible?   In this episode of LOVE Life we sort through your options and come up with the most fair plan to do what’s best for your soon-to-be ex.

This is Love Life with Matthew Hussey. I'm glad you're here. Now, if you're new to the show, don't be fooled by the name Love Life. Yes, we talk all about love and relationships, but we also go deeper into every other area to give you advice to explode your career, get the most out of all of your relationships, create amazing opportunities in your life, and the most out of all of your relationships, create amazing opportunities in your life, and so much more.

If you've been following me for a while, or if you're new and you like what you hear today, please go to iTunes and give this show a five-star review and leave a comment. It'll help more women like you find and enjoy the show. Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. We have a question that has been sent in today. The question is, when is it too late to break off your relationship before the holidays and how do you do it? This is an interesting question actually, because we've all been in that situation before where you're trying to figure out when is the right time to say something that is going to be a car crash, essentially. Should you do it before the holidays?

You then have the guilt of wrecking the holidays for somebody. Should you wait till afterwards, in which case you're going to feel like a phony the whole way through the holidays while you're thinking about it but not telling them the honest truth i think that we have to we're always trying to think of well if we're that this type of person we're always trying to think of what's best for the other person in the situation when is this going to do the least damage? Well, firstly, we have to understand that of course it will do damage. There's no getting around that. But we have to look practically at this situation. Now, interestingly about the holidays, the holidays is actually a time when they're likely to be able to spend time with people they love. Friends, family, colleagues,

they're going to be spending time with people that care about them. And in that sense, we may actually see this as a good time to break up with someone. That if we break up with them before the holidays begin, and they go into all of that love and distraction, they may actually be thankful for that, though they won't show it on a deeper level. They might be thankful for that, though they won't show it. On a deeper level, they might be thankful for the fact that they're walking straight into all of this love and protection from the people that they care about. Now, the people they care about might not appreciate it because they're now going to have some sullen, mopey person around for the holidays. But that's not your concern. You can't worry about everybody. The fact is, when she or

he goes back to their family, they have time to distract themselves. If you did it after the holidays, when they're going back to their normal routine, that might be even harder for them to suddenly go back into their normal routine with the depression that can come along after a breakup. Not only that, but do you really want to spend the holidays getting closer to someone, buying them romantic gifts, meeting and getting closer to their family, spending time, having all of this stuff that actually encourages intimacy and closeness only to then break up afterwards? Is that something you want to put you and the other person through, is creating a couple of weeks of brand new sentimental memories that are going to be trashed immediately afterwards? Think about it. This isn't quite the same because we might say

that there's a legitimate argument for saying that if someone has an exam coming up, for example, or an important job interview, that breaking up with them directly before that job interview or exam is a mean thing to do. Because now they might go into that thing that's important to their life with a terrible attitude and depression and not know how to actually put their best foot forward. It might be the case that waiting until after that big event in their life is more fair to that person. But in the case of the holidays, I'm not so sure that's true. If you're breaking up with someone, doing the hard thing is always going to be something that plagues you.

But don't use excuses like the holidays to put it off because I'm telling you now, once the holidays are over, there will be some other excuse why you can't do it. And that thing, those excuses can carry on and delay a relationship and the breakup for months or even years on end. Do not continue to use excuses to get in the way of it unless you truly think that it's best for the other person that you don't do it right now. Too often we confuse what's good for the other person that you don't do it right now. Too often we confuse what's good for the other person with what we really think is selfishly good for us. Don't be one of those people. All right, my friends, I will see you soon. Thank you for joining in on Love Life. Go to facebook.com forward slash coach Matthew Hussey to see the rest of my articles and videos and everything we're doing. And I'll be with you in the next episode. Thank you for listening to Love Life. I'll be back soon with another show

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