Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Conquer Your Life Funk

Episode Date: October 24, 2016

A dead-end career…A lackluster love life…It can feel impossible to stay motivated when more than one important area of your life isn’t going your way. So how do you climb out of a life funk when you’re completely overwhelmed by where to begin? It’s easier than you think (hint: you can start seeing results as soon as TONIGHT) and I’ll show you exactly how to do it in this episode of LOVE Life.  

Welcome to Love Life. I'm Matthew Hussey and I have an amazing show for you today. But first, let me ask you, did you know that there are three female mindsets that drive men absolutely wild? Okay, you're right. Confidence is one, but can you guess the other two? I'll give you a minute to think about it and we'll come back to this at the end of the show. But first, let's get into today's episode. We have a caller on the line today. Caller, are you there? Hello. Hi, Shannon. Shannon, how are you? I'm okay, Matthew. How are you? I'm good, thank you. I'm good. I'm so glad you called in. What did you have to ask us today? Well, I'm in a bit of a life funk, so I could use some advice on how to stay motivated and positive when things are going, everything seems to be going wrong. I'm trying to

make a career change and that just doesn't seem to be moving fast enough or anything happening like I would like it to. And in the dating world, I keep meeting guys and I go on dates and, and it seems like things are going well. And then it just kind of fizzles out. So I feel like in both aspects of my life, as much as I want things to happen, there's so many things I want to have happen in my life and just nothing seems to be happening or going right, right now. And I just, I'm in a funk where I just kind of want to give up and stay in bed and pull the sheets over my head and just not even try anymore. So I, I'd love to know ideas of how to stay motivated and positive when you feel like nothing is going right. It sounds like you might be overwhelming yourself by thinking about everything that's not going your way at once.

Yeah. So I think a part of this is how you choose to focus. Cause I'm so, if, if I asked you what's going right in your life, in your life right now, what, what do you have to be grateful for? What would you say? A couple of things. Oh, honestly, I, I'm actually a really positive person and I really feel so grateful for just my life in general. I feel like I'm so lucky to be living the life I have and living where I do. And even though I feel like my career isn lucky to be living the life I have and living where I do. And even though I feel like my career isn't happening the way I want it to, and the love life isn't happening the way I want it to, I still feel so grateful and happy every day. I'm really,

really positive person. So it takes a lot for me to end up feeling weighed down and like at a give up point. So I'm grateful and thankful for everything, honestly. What I would do from here then is I would actually, I would really chunk down in each of these areas what it is you're trying to achieve. Because if, for example, let's say in your love life, your goal is to meet someone great. If your goal is to meet someone great, anything that falls short of that is going to feel like a disappointment right now. But of course, there are so many different things that can happen in one's love life in between that represent small amounts of progress that should be valued and treasured and in their own way, exciting. And the same is true in our careers. You know, many of us, you sound like

someone who's ambitious. You sound like someone who has, you know, goals in each area of her life and you want those things to happen. But sometimes when we have big goals in our career, everything that falls short of that can depress us. And I know that feeling because I've been there before. You know, I've had huge goals in my career. And when it doesn't happen fast enough, that's when I feel myself getting frustrated and I lose my energy and my momentum. But I think one of the key ways for you to confront that problem is to look at your love life and your career and start with some really, really small wins that you want to get. It might be in your love life, for example, that a small win is going out and having a couple of really great conversations tonight and seeing where those take you. They don't even have to take you to a date, but it might be the benchmark right now is I want to go out tonight and speak to people I would never normally speak to. Maybe take a risk I would never normally take and just have a great conversation and enjoy the

fact that I'm having a great conversation with a stranger that I never would have met had I not taken that risk. Those little mini moments of progress are things that actually can give us a lot of energy and momentum. So my quick bit of advice to you is take that big picture and actually break it down into some small, small wins that aren't going to create this either raw picture. Either this part of my life is going well or it's not. Actually, I think there are so many steps in between that can still give you energy along the way. And what I've found is that one little win can change everything. I've had times, I've had dry spells, for example, in my love life when nothing is happening. And I look at it and I'm like oh my god like I'm have I you know you know in Austin Powers where he gets his mojo stolen I don't know

you ever seen that film he has he has like he Dr. Evil steals his mojo and I'm like there are times when I felt like that like someone stole my mojo and I don't know how to get it back and then all of a sudden I meet someone and have a great time and I I'm like, Oh, there it is. Like, it's not, I was, I was building this up as if it was some trend in my life that I lost it or nothing was happening when in fact, all I needed was a win. And when you get a win, it puts you back on track. So here's what I would do. Don't overemphasize this story that you have right now about, you know, all my career and my love life are both not working out the way I want to. Because the more you build that story and add detail to it, the more it becomes kind

of self-fulfilling. So I don't want you to overemphasize that story. Instead, break it down into very, very small compartments and aim for little tiny amounts of progress in each area. Because when you aim for tiny progress, you can actually guarantee that you're going to get some wins along the way. And when you get those wins, you're going to start saying, oh, wow, okay, there's progress being made here. It may not be all at once, but there is progress being made. And I think one win can change your whole state and your whole energy towards a certain part of your life.

Does that make sense? That's true. Very true. All right, Shannon. Thank you so much for calling in. Such a pleasure speaking to you. Thank you so much. I appreciate everything you said.

You're so welcome. Shannon, thank you so much. And call in again sometime and let us know how you're getting on, okay? I appreciate that. Thank you. I will. All right. Take care. You too. Cheers, lovely appreciate that. Thank you. I will. All right. Take care.

Okay. You too. Cheers, lovely. And thank you all for listening in. So happy that you're all part of this as well. And I know that will be relevant to so many different people out there. If you're on a losing streak, always remember, reward yourself for the effort, not for the reward. Well, did you guess what the other two mindsets are that drive men wild?

Good news, you don't have to rack your brain forever for the answer. I'm giving you free, exclusive access to a Q&A session from my live seminar where I coach real women on how to deal with hot and cold men, how to find out if a guy is single, how to be strong and confident in a relationship, and more. To get your free access to three female mindsets that drive men absolutely wild, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash mindsets.