Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Define Who You Are

Episode Date: March 17, 2017

You may be surprised by my message today. After all, I’m the first person to encourage you to be ambitious.  But I want to warn you of the danger of trying to be good at too many things or, at least, the tendency to label yourself as an expert in too many areas. I give you a real example from my own life, and share a brilliant quote from the infamous Jameson (who you may know from my YouTube videos) that will inspire you to stay focused on your passion.

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. Have you ever wondered whether you should date more than one guy at a time? Every dating expert seems to have a different opinion on this. But what do guys really think about a woman who keeps her options open? Well, I'll tell you how to get the answer at the end of the show. First, let's get into today's episode. I'm going to talk today about a certain type of person that drives me absolutely crazy, and that is the person with a really vague business card or title. This annoys me. You say, so what do you do? And they go, oh, I'm an actor, singer, writer, director, producer, composer, philanthropist.

And you get out, they'll literally give you a business card and it will have four different things on it that they are. And as soon as I look at that business card, I stop taking them seriously at that point. When we get too vague about what we are and when we start throwing, I'm this and I'm that and I'm that, it begins to make people take you less seriously because you're not excelling in any one thing. That doesn't mean you can never change what you are, but a key rule of marketing is to figure out who you're trying to appeal to and then do that really, really well. You know, I know in my career, I knew that I was about more than just giving women dating advice. I love giving women dating advice, but I also knew that I'm more than that. There are so many different things that I do. But when I, when I, and this was, by the way, this was a big dilemma I had

when I used to go on TV and they used to say, how do you want us to introduce you? And I would hate, hate the fact that they would only call me a dating coach because there were so many other things I do. Those of you that really know me, you know that I do five day retreats where we focus on everything outside of dating. We focus on your life, your health, your career, your finances, your confidence, everything. So to go on TV and for someone to say, we have a dating coach, Matthew Hussey, which by the way, they still do, is frustrating at the best of times. But guess what I don't do? I don't go on TV right now and say, yeah, can you call me like just a kind of coach, life coach? Can you call me life coach slash dating coach slash financial advisor?

Because A, no one cares. As soon as you say three things, no one cares. And B, it loses me that audience in that one area where they go, ah, we know who this guy is. We know what he's all about. If you look at the people who have branded themselves in the best way in life, I don't care what walk of life it is, the people that have really branded themselves well, when you think about them, you know what they are.

You know what they're all about. Does it mean they can't do anything else? Of course not. Does it mean that they won't graduate to other things in their lifetime? Of course it doesn't. But figure out what you are right now. So everyone listening to this in Hollywood, figure out right now if you're an actor or a writer or a director, figure out which one you are. Because guess what? Every single one of those is really hard in its own right and has a completely different skill set. Every single one of them. Rare hard in its own right and has a completely different skill set.

Every single one of them. Rarely does anyone pick one and do it ultra well. So how is it you're doing three and doing them really well? I guarantee you you're not. Figure out which one you are. If opportunities lead to other things behind the scenes where you end up, you know, doing something for someone that isn't on your business card, so be it. But let your foot in the door come from the one thing that you do really well, that you're branded for, that people know you for. Now, I'm going to give Jameson credit for this because Jameson right now, those of you who watch my YouTube videos, Jameson is in the studio with me, filming me right now. By the way, Jameson, you call yourself a director, don't you? Right? That's what he calls himself. He doesn't call himself anything. He's a director. And he'll tell you that's really, really hard. That's something to get good at on its own. But Jameson said something to me that I

think is a great line. I'm giving you credit right now, Jameson. So I want you to be happy about this. He said, be a renaissance man in your interests, but a specialist in your career. And I think that's a really fantastic line. Whatever it is you're interested in, be a Renaissance man or woman in your personal life, in your interests, in your hobbies, in your passions, but be a specialist in your career. And you'll go so much further. Okay, so what do men really think about a woman who dates more than one guy at a time? I'm going to tell you and reveal the three female mindsets that drive men absolutely wild in a free video that I've created for you. You're going to get exclusive access to a Q&A session from a live seminar

where I coach real women on how to deal with hot and cold men, how to find out if a guy is single, how to be strong and confident in a relationship and much more. To get your free access to the three female mindsets that drive men absolutely wild, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash mindsets.