Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Do Opposites Really Attract?

Episode Date: December 9, 2015

“Opposites attract”… or DO they?  We explore this old adage in today’s episode of LOVE Life.  There’s an important distinction here that most people miss.  I reveal what it and explain exactly what makes a relationship work (and why some are doomed to fail from the start).  I’ll also tell you what to look for in a man you date to create the most exciting, passionate, and lasting dynamic possible.  Use this formula and you’ll be drawn together like a magnet!

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. I have a question for you. When you think about going after the things you want most in life, how do you feel? Excited? Inspired? Capable of doing anything you put your mind to? Or do you feel overwhelmed? Discouraged? Like you're facing an insurmountable obstacle? If your answer is overwhelmed, you're not alone. Most people feel the same way. And the reason is this. Most people think that in order to achieve their biggest goals, they have to take big, monumental actions. And that makes them give up before they even begin. But the truth is, the key to achieving our goals is consistency. Small actions done

regularly. Consistency can make all the difference between achieving your dreams and staying stuck and unfulfilled where you are. So let's set you up for success. I'll do my part by showing up every few days with a new episode filled with advice to help you live your best life. Think of listening to my show as your one small action you can do consistently. Here's your first assignment. Go to iTunes and click the subscribe button. This will make sure that you get the latest episode as soon as it's released. Ready to get started? Let's go. Hello everyone, Matthew Hussey here from Love Life. Big topic today, something that people talk about all of the

time in relationships, when they're looking for a relationship, when they're talking about compatibility, do opposites really attract? So let's look at the real case for whether opposites do attract or not. Firstly, there's a key distinction we have to make. And the distinction is between surface level characteristics, behaviors, habits, and deeper value systems and beliefs. See, the way I look at this is that on the surface level, you can have people who are very different. You can have one person who, for example, is fascinated by dance and loves dance and has all this rhythm. And, you know, she's so good at moving. You put her on a dance floor and she comes alive. And she's with a guy who you put him on a dance floor and he

looks like some sort of weird abstract art. I mean, it's just really, he just has the worst rhythm you've ever seen. And you go, wow, these two people are so different. She's into dance and she's elegant and she moves well. And she's into this guy who really is not like that at all. You know, he has his head in his books. He has his head in academia. He's a completely different guy. Wow. Opposites attract. And here's the interesting thing about that. On the surface, these two people can be wildly different. But if we actually explore them on a deeper level, we can find out some really interesting things. Maybe we ask her why she's into dance. Why do you like dance? And she says, well, because it's creative and it allows me to be free and it allows

me to just express myself. And I love all those things. And then you say to him, what is it you love about your books? What is it you love about your books? What is it you love about your writing? What is it you love about your study? And he says, well, it's creative and it allows me to feel free. When I write, I can write whatever I want. I can put whatever opinions down on paper I want and I really get to express myself. And you suddenly realize that these two people are very similar. Even though they've grown up in ways that has taken them in different directions and they have different interests, they've learned different

skill sets that on the surface make them look very different, on a deeper level, these people are very aligned. Their belief systems, their values really do connect. Therefore, when they both express their passions for what they do and when they talk about it, they really connect on it because they understand each other. See, the truth is opposites attract when it comes to style, but not when it comes to substance. And that's actually what's so interesting is very often we find that people can be the same when it comes to their style. But when you look at their substance, they're completely different.

And because they're completely different on a deeper level, it never works. And those cracks always appear. So my friends, here's my advice to you. When you go out there looking for someone to have a relationship with, or if you're with your partner right now, look for the shared values and belief systems on a deeper level, even if on the surface, you're different people. Being different people on the surface can be a wonderful thing because what happens is you connect, you bring things to each other's lives that you would never have thought of. You know, suddenly you're with a, guys, you can be with a woman who dances well when you go, oh my God, this is showing me a whole new world. She gets me up to dance. You know, ladies, you can be with a man who is into some whole other subject that you've never even thought about. And you go, oh my God, this is teaching me something. That's synergy. When two people bring things to each other's

lives like that, that's synergy. But on a deeper level, the two of you have to be singing from the same hymn sheet. That's everything. By the way, this is one of the problems that online dating can be tough because very often you start looking for commonalities on the surface. What we should be looking for is who shares my values. So when you go out there now, don't mind issues on the surface. Don't mind the differences on the surface. Go out there and find someone who shares your values and belief systems, but brings you a completely different world. That's the whole excitement of a relationship. Take care, my friends. Hashtag Love Life on Twitter. Let us know what you thought of the episode go to my website how

to get the guy.com if you want more information right now i've got plenty of videos on there that are completely free for you and have an amazing day today i'll speak to you soon thanks for listening and making me part of your weekly ritual toward achieving your dreams now if you're getting a lot out of these episodes, please do me a favor and help me spread the word so that other women like you can find and enjoy the show. In the iTunes app or on your desktop, just look up the show, click on ratings and reviews, and then click write a review. Thank you so much and have a fantastic week. I'll speak to you soon.