Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Don’t “Drunkenly” Follow Your Dreams

Episode Date: January 6, 2017

I strongly believe we all have the power to create incredible lives. I even designed a 5-day Retreat process that helps thousands of women around the world, twice a year, do it in a radical way. So why am I, of all people, warning you against “following your dreams?” In today’s episode, I explain why motivational speeches and Instagram quotes actually set you up for failure. But don’t despair – I also share the real path to getting what you want most in life. It may not be dreamy, but it works.

Welcome to Love Life. I'm your host, Matthew Hussey. Now, here's a secret about men that most women don't realize. Men really want to feel manly around you. If you know how to make him feel like a man, he'll want to be around you day and night. So how do you do this? I'm going to give you my five most powerful phrases for making him feel manly around you right after we get into today's topic. I recently came across a speech by Jim Carrey, which he gave to a group of, I think they were graduates at the Maharishi University of Management. You can Google it, find it on YouTube. One of the things that Jim Carrey talks about in this very kind of motivational and inspiring speech, and to do it justice, I will say that there are many things that he said in this speech

that I really loved. So I don't want this to come off imbalanced. If you watch it, there will be many great things that you do here. But one of the things is the idea of following what you love enjoying doing that much, but thinks, you know what, I could fail at this too. I might as well just leave and become a comedian. I think it's very dangerous advice to simply follow what you love. If I had a whole day, I could speak to you about this, but I'll summarize it as this. We have to have a practical route to where we want to go. It's no good simply thinking, I love something, so I'm going to jump ship from where I am now. I'm going to completely leave all of my security and go after the thing that I really enjoy doing. Anyone who has made it on the level that Jim Carrey has knows that it's incredibly difficult to be one of those people.

It requires not only an incredible amount of skill and talent, it also requires an incredible amount of luck, of being in the right places at the right times. Now, that doesn't mean we shouldn't try, but it means that when we follow our goals, we need to do it from a sober place because rhetoric is very seductive. The whole idea, in many ways, the beauty of a speech is that it can take very complex and difficult ideas and simplify them and bring them into a very inspiring way of speaking. And this is, of course, what Jim Carrey does here. He talks about going after your dreams in a very inspiring way. But if I were listening to it, I might be tempted to leave whatever I'm

doing now and suddenly recklessly jump into something that I really think that I love. I feel that any decision we make towards a goal, especially if it's a difficult goal to attain, needs to be treated like a chess player. We need to be figuring out the next 10 moves of our strategy before we start losing all of the security around us. And that's what I want you to do right now. Always be wary of people who from the podium simply tell you to follow your dreams. Just because they have made it and they are now speaking about following their dreams, it doesn't mean that the same thing will happen for us. In many times, the people that say those things are the exception, not the rule. If you have a love right now or a dream or something you want to move towards,

be a chess player about it. Don't just drunkenly go after your goals after an inspiring speech, because the reality will set in very, very quickly. And those people, by the way, who followed their dreams or who achieved it, whether it, you know, the most famous person you know that you look up to, those people that got there, got there by a series of thousands of different steps and actions that they took over a long period of time that was constantly grinding away at their goal, constantly taking them further. And by the way, rarely are goals reached in a straight line. It will have taken them there in a weird kind of slalom that took them off course for a little bit and then brought

them back and then took them off course and then brought them back. Their journey will have been far from simple. So do not just take on the simple and overly simplistic idea that your goal is simple and the journey there will be a straight line because it won't. Think like a chess player about your goals. Don't just watch a speech and get rash. I will speak to you soon, my friends. This is Love Life with Matthew Hussey. If you are not following me on Facebook right now, go to facebook.com forward slash coach Matthew Hussey for all the latest articles, videos, and information about what we're up to. I'll see you soon. So we started off today talking about the power of making a man feel manly around you.

But how do you do this? It can be challenging to strike the balance so that you don't sound patronizing when you do this, which is why I've carefully crafted five perfect phrases that you can say to any man that will make him feel like his best self around you. To download these five phrases, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash compliments.