Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Honest Advice to Anyone Wanting Marriage (I’m Two Years in) | Matt Monday

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

Marriage is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make—but it’s also one of the riskiest if you’re not careful. In this week’s episode, I’m sharing the lessons I’ve learned about what makes a marriage work, why rushing into it can lead to heartbreak, and how to know if you’re choosing the right person for the right reasons. (Plus, I share the one question you must ask yourself before saying “I do.”) ---►► Transform your confidence and your relationship with yourself, others, and life itself during my Weekend Retreat next week, October 18-19 (which you can watch from the comfort of home if you can’t make it to Miami). Plus receive a limited-time Matthew AI bonus if you book now! Get all the details at RetreatAccess.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Footy fans. Premier League and Champions League are underway, and Fan Duel has fresh ways to bet your favorite clubs, like the new two-up money line. Cash out your bet as a winner if your team goes up two goals at any time during the match. We've also added 120-minute markets, so you can bet into extra time and never miss the late-match magic. From kickoff to the final whistle, you can make a live, same-gate parlay, your way. Download Fan Duel and hit the pitch today.

Please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling Problem Call 1866-5-3-2-600. Visit Conaxontera.com. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish.

Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. marriage is one of the worst decisions you can make unless you make it with the right person for the right reasons let me explain the irony of all of this is that i have never even liked weddings i am not religious i have never been especially romantic about marriage itself and for most of my life the whole world of marriage did not really speak to me so why did i get married and more importantly, is there anything from my experience that I can glean to share with you if you are a few

years earlier in this journey than I am right now? Firstly, I don't think marriage is for everyone. In fact, I think it is a really, really bad idea a lot of the time. But when it works, it's the best. So if you're dreaming of marriage or you're wondering whether it's for you, here are the insights, stories, and even a couple of stats that can help you go in with your eyes wide open. The first thing I've learned is that this is an area where it pays to go slow in order to go fast. Making quick decisions based on romance or how much we want to get married is one of the recipes for ending up in divorce. One analysis found that the highest odds of divorce are in years four to eight for couples who married under 25, especially under 20. And this isn't to say that

young marriages can't work, many do. But it does mean that you have to go in with your eyes wide open and a genuine willingness to grow together. But it takes time to know if you're with someone that you actually can and want to grow with. What I will say, however, is that we want to go slow for the right reasons. A right reason is I'm going slow to really get to know the person in front of me to make sure they're right. A wrong reason is I'm going slow. so that I can wait for my life to be perfect before I really commit to a person. And that's what brings me on to my next point. Waiting for stability before we make a major commitment to someone is overrated.

Now, I don't mean emotional stability. I think there's a degree of emotional stability that we want to find in ourselves before we get married. But I think more in terms of the things people say out loud when they say why they can't get married yet. I hear this a lot from guys. I can't get married yet because I have. haven't hit my financial goal or I can't get married yet because my life's just not in a place where

I'm set up to be able to get married. And I think that that misses the point of what a long-term relationship is, even if we take marriage out of the equation for the moment, you learn a lot more by dating someone and getting to know them and coming up with them in the messy stages of your life, then you do by getting to the top of whatever hypothetical mountain you're saying you have to climb before you commit and then picking someone from the top of the mountain. When your life is in a perfect place, you don't necessarily learn a lot about the partner that you're with. You certainly don't learn as much as you can when your life is going through difficult and challenging stages. I look back now and I am grateful for the fact that my life was not perfectly stable when my wife

Audrey came into it. In fact, there were a lot of messes. There were some crises and those were the things that told me who I had. By the way, if you know you struggle to pick good partners or trust your instincts because your emotions get the better of you in love and dating, that is exactly the deep work I'm doing with people on my retreat this weekend. Yes, it is happening this weekend on the 18th and 19th of October and you don't even have to join me in person for this event. You can actually get a virtual ticket for $195, which means you can watch it from anywhere in the world. and I'm giving you two whole weeks to watch the replay of the event if for any reason you're not around this weekend. I'm also throwing in 30 days of Matthew A.I. So that after the

event is finished, if you have more follow-up questions, you can ask Matthew A.I. You still have me as your coach for 30 days on me afterwards. All of that is available at retreat access.com. This is the last chance to get your virtual ticket for this event. Do not miss it or you'll be waiting another year for this change in your life. And your life is too. precious. Retreataccess.com is the link. I really hope you join us this weekend. Here's one that I think is really important. Anxiety often disguises itself as a refusal to settle. So there are a lot of people who feel like they struggle with commitment and one of the reasons they do is because of a kind of perfectionist mindset or because they're always thinking that someone better is going to come along

and that makes it really difficult to just go all in on the person they're with. I think this is particularly difficult these days with the amount of choice, superficial choice that we are presented with on dating apps, on social media. It feels like there's always someone possibly better around the corner. But when we tell ourselves, oh, I just don't know, maybe someone better will come along, instead of thinking about that as some desire to optimize, it might be worth labeling it as anxiety, as a pattern of anxious rumination. Footy fans, Premier League and Champions League are underway, and FanDuel has fresh ways to bet your favorite clubs,

like the new Two-Up Money Line. Cash out your bet as a winner if your team goes up two goals at any time during the match. We've also added 120-minute markets, so you can bet into extra time and never miss the late-match magic. From kickoff to the final whistle, you can make a live, same-gay parlay, your way. Download FanDuel and hit the pitch today. Please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem call 1866-5-3-2-600.

Visit Connxontera.com. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions

like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. because when we do that we stop giving it so much weight we stop giving it so much meaning we recognize that our fear that someone better might come along is actually a kind of catastrophic thinking that i'm going to make the wrong decision in my life and that's going to haunt me forever the irony

is that what tends to haunt people is the unwillingness to make a decision and commit to someone not that they're going to make an imperfect decision. Now, if you're watching this and you are anxious about making the wrong decision in love, there is a trap that you must avoid when it comes to choosing the right partner. Do not let your ego make the decision about who you marry. The irony of those of us who spend our lives indecisively going from one person to the next and never knowing what's right is that we also are the most susceptible to being absolutely certain about the wrong person. Why? Because there are people who come along

who are so outwardly impressive or hot or charismatic or high status or we think are out of our league that immediately we get triggered by that person and we think, I just have to keep them. This is the best I'm ever going to do. Oh my God, I'm so in love. And in that moment, it's like all of our anxiety about making the wrong decision dissipates and what shows up is a brand new anxiety about keeping this person who we're absolutely sure is the right person. But why are they the right person? Because they're super hot because they impress the people around us. That's not what makes a marriage. What makes a marriage is an amazing teammate. And I don't know about you, but I can look back on situations in my life where I was crazy about someone and I thought I'll do anything to keep this

person. And now I look back and I'm like, that person with a horrible teammate. They would have been a terrible person to raise a child with. I would have been doing it on my own. They would have been a terrible person to run a household with. But in the moment, if it's our ego that's making a certain, we don't think about any of that. And that is why so many people get into deeply unhappy marriages with people they were originally certain about. This one is important. Do not marry someone that you never argue with. Marry someone you argue well with. That means that when you have an argument, you reach good compromises. You have a good recovery time. In other words, it doesn't take you days of miserable toxicity to get good again. It takes you minutes or hours. You're both good

at coming to the table to apologize and soften. It's not always the same person who has to save the two of you every time you have an argument. And by the way, you only know these things by having hard conversations early on and being able to talk about the big stuff so that you know who you are when there are differences in opinions, whether it comes to money and finances, household responsibilities, where you want your careers to go, where you want to live in the future. You may as well talk about these things today if you're even considering marrying this person because I promise you those conversations are a lot harder to have on the other side of the wedding day. And the goal isn't to agree on everything.

You won't, and that's fine. But it is to make sure that you understand each other's expectations and you know ahead of time that you can handle the differences. Remember, in a marriage, love is absolutely not all you need. You need compatibility. And by the way, when the arguments you're having with someone are about fundamental behaviors that they have, that you do not like, that are unlikely to change,

don't just ask yourself, do I have the patience or the energy or the strength to deal with this this week? Ask yourself if you have the energy to deal with this every week for the rest of your life. Now, maybe you're watching this video as someone who has already chosen someone that you think is wrong. Maybe you married that person. Maybe you're divorced and you're currently shaming yourself for not having followed the advice in your life that I give in this video. I want to say something to you. Who you divorce is just as important as who you marry. Look, I will always try and give as much guidance as I can

to prevent people from marrying the wrong person. But we're people. I've been coaching people for nearly two decades of my life, millions of them. And I can tell you, I have seen many people marry the wrong people. And it is not the end of the world. You can recover from this mistake. There is life after the breakdown of a marriage. The decision of who you marry is in some ways the most important decision you'll ever make in your life.

It's true, but it's not an irreversible one. And we get decisions wrong all of the time. It's just that some decisions we get wrong are higher stakes than other ones. But what this really means is that it's not just who you marry that is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make, but who you will leave and in many cases divorce. If you have not got your virtual ticket to the retreat yet, grab one below at retreat. Entryaccess.com. It is coming up. Don't wait another year

to come to this event. I promise you it will change the game for you. Footy fans. Premier League and Champions League are underway and Fan Duel has fresh ways to bet your favorite clubs. Like the new two-up money line. Cash out your bet as a winner

if your team goes up two goals at any time during the match. We've also added 120-minute markets so you can bet into extra time and never miss the late-match magic. From kickoff to the final whistle, you can make a live, same-gate parlay, your way. Download fan duel and hit the pitch today. Please play responsibly 19-plus

and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem call 1866-5-3-1-2600. Visit conoxontera.com. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet wins. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body check-check

that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started.