Love Life with Matthew Hussey - How to Be a Winner (NOT a Victim)

Episode Date: August 19, 2016

Why do bad things always happen to me? If you find yourself thinking that way, it’s time to STOP. We all face problems and setbacks in life, and having a victim mentality is only going to hold you back from having the happiness you deserve. In today’s episode, I give you the two essential questions you need to ask yourself when something goes wrong so you can learn from it, move forward, and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. Have you ever wondered whether you should date more than one guy at a time? Every dating expert seems to have a different opinion on this. But what do guys really think about a woman who keeps her options open? Well, I'll tell you how to get the answer at the end of the show. First, let's get into today's episode. I think people have a tendency to react really badly when things go wrong in their lives. They have a tendency to either go into victim mode and say, this is all me, this always happens to me, why is this happening right now?

People are very caught up on those questions. Why is this happening? But they don't ask it in a productive way. Of course, they're not saying, let me get to the bottom of this so that I can make sure this doesn't happen next time. They're more in the mode of being emotional. Why is this happening to me? Why am I always the person this happens to? Why did these people burn me in the way that they did? Why did this person do this? They ask all of these questions which lead them to negative answers and don't get them any progress. But they don't stand there and ask the simple question, what do I need to do? What do we do next? What do we do now? Those are the questions that will actually move you forward.

Another key question people don't ask, how do we make sure this doesn't happen again? Now, this problem that happened actually becomes something very positive. So this learning process that I've been through actually is something that can help me in the future. In that way, it can be a gift. So two questions. What do we need to do next? And that's the question you ask when you want to figure out the solution to a problem right now. What do I need to do now?

That will put you in action mode. And secondly, how do I make sure this doesn't happen again? That will put you in preparation mode where you actually prepare for the future, where you become forward thinking. And if you're wondering, well, okay, this is great for business. How does this apply, for example, to my relationships? Well, you may have just had a breakup. And instead of saying, why me? Why me? Why has this person done this to me? Why did they cheat on me? Why did they leave me? Why am I not enough?

All of these questions are bad questions. If instead you say, what do I need to do now? That will put you in action mode. I need to maybe build up my life. I need to go and find something to focus on, to put my energy into right now. I need to build my relationships and my connections with my friends. I need to go and actually spend more time with my family. I've been neglecting them a little bit, haven't I? Whatever it is, that puts you in action mode. And then when

you're out of that little moment of pain, when you feel yourself getting stronger, it's important to ask that question. Is there anything I need to do to avoid this happening again? Maybe there were red flags I avoided early on in the relationship. And it was because I avoided those red flags that I ended up getting hurt so badly. So perhaps the next relationship I'm in, I'm going to pay more attention to the red flags early on and not just pretend that everything is all going to be all right in the end or someone's going to change. So that then gets you into preparation mode. Okay. So the first is action mode. The second is preparation mode. Make no mistake. These problems, these issues, these unexpected circumstances happen to everyone in life. We're not constantly live their lives on the lowest level. The difference is that the winners on average handle problems better. They don't panic.

They look at the situation and they say, what do I need to do instead of why me? And they look to fix the problem so that the next time around they're prepared for it. They handle problems better on the average. If you want to be a real winner in life, don't try and avoid problems. Get really, really masterful at handling them. Thanks, guys. Come join me for the conversation on Facebook. It's facebook.com forward slash coach Matthew Hussey. Make sure you

subscribe when you get there and I'll make sure I keep you up to date with everything that is going on in my world. Any new ideas and inspiration and philosophies that might help you in your life as you go forward. Daily progress, my friends. That's what it's all about. I'll see you soon. Okay, so what do men really think about a woman who dates more than one guy at a time? I'm going to tell you and reveal the three female mindsets that drive men absolutely wild in a free video that I've created for you. You're going to get exclusive access to a Q&A session from a live seminar where I coach real women on how to deal with hot and cold men, how to find out if a guy is single, how to be strong and confident in a relationship, and much more. To get your free access to the three female mindsets that drive men absolutely wild, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash mindsets.