Love Life with Matthew Hussey - How to Get the Hottest Guy in the Room to Approach You

Episode Date: February 17, 2016

How do you get a super hot guy – or any guy in general – to approach you? If you’re not the best looking woman in the room, do you even stand a chance? You might be surprised by my answer. Hint: Your competition is not as threatening as you think it is, and I’ll show you the one thing that will win a guy’s interest over looks any time.

Welcome to Love Life. I'm your host, Matthew Hussey. Now, here's a secret about men that most women don't realize. Men really want to feel manly around you. If you know how to make him feel like a man, he'll want to be around you day and night. So how do you do this? I'm going to give you my five most powerful phrases for making him feel manly around you right after we get into today's topic. Matthew Hussey here from Love Life and today we are talking about the differences between men

and women in approaching. Because one of the big things I'm always talking about is should women be approaching guys? Women are often saying to me, where do I meet great guys? And of course, the answer is you can meet great guys anywhere. There are some places where you might be more likely to meet a quality guy. But at the end of the day, we know we can meet people anywhere. The big difference between women who meet lots of guys and women who don't is women who meet lots of guys go out and meet lots of guys and women who don't is women who meet lots of guys

go out and meet lots of guys. They actually talk to guys. Now, why is it so many women don't talk to guys? Because they're afraid of the differences in mindset. They are afraid that their conditioning has said they should not be approaching guys. It's guys who should be approaching them. So what are most women do when they go out? They go out, they stand there, they pout, and they hope that someone is going to come and talk to them. This idea that, well, other women have guys coming up to them all the time and guys just don't really come up to me is complete nonsense. And let's look at it from a guy's perspective for a moment. What do most guys do? Well, most guys, their conditioning is I'm brought up to go and approach the woman. The problem for us guys is most of us were never taught how. So we don't

know how to do it. We just know that we're supposed to do it. So how do we use this understanding of gender roles and conditioning to make more of situations? You as a woman listening to this, what should you do in your mindset to approaching men? Firstly, understand that just because a guy thinks that it's his job to approach, it doesn't mean he doesn't want you to do something. It doesn't mean he doesn't want you to make it easier for him. So how do you start going about this? Well, firstly, understand that so many women are standing there pouting that your competition is not that high. You can look around and rest easy knowing that most of these women are not doing anything. In fact, you can rely on it. So the person, the woman that stands out is almost invariably the one that shows a little

more of her personality in a room. She's the one who actually does smile. She's the one who actually does make a joke as she walks past a guy who does compliment him, who does have a bit of fun with him. But women seem to be so afraid of sharing their personalities. It's almost like, no, I'm going to wait for you to come and draw it out of me. Well, guess what? No one cares. No one cares. No one wants to come and draw your personality out of you. It doesn't happen like it happens in that movie where he's like, oh, she's so shy and reserved and she's probably such a wonderful, beautiful person inside. And I bet she's got so much charisma underneath all those layers of boredom and just complete dross. I bet there's so much excitement under there. I'm going to work for it. No, no one thinks that. They think that's hard work.

She looks mean. She looks cold. I'm not even going to bother. Now, some women will say, well, yeah, but other women, you know, get guys approach them all the time and they stand there and they pout. Well, guess what? Some people are really, really, really, really, really good looking. Right. And everyone comes up to them no matter what. They just people just walk over and start talking to them. By the way, even that's kind of a myth because 90 percent of guys are too intimidated by that person to go up to them anyway. But the 10 percent that do do walk up to that person purely because of their looks, which, by the way, isn't always a great starting point for a relationship. And guess what? That woman who never learns to smile because she doesn't have to, what do you think happens a

year into her relationship or five years in? The guy realizes, oh my God, I'm dating someone who doesn't smile. This sucks. And very often he leaves because looks don't hold someone, personality does. This is a long journey, my friends. And even when you're looking at that person who has those beautiful looks out of a magazine or something like that, even that person struggles. They might not struggle in the first five seconds. Maybe they have a slight advantage there, but they do struggle in the long term. Personality wins, charm wins, charisma wins, and you have to bring that out. And if you're not the best looking person in the room, let's be real for a moment. Not everyone is the best looking person in the room, but it doesn't matter.

You just have to be awesome. You just have to be awesome at something. There are people that hook up all the time that are of different shapes and sizes because there's something awesome about both of them. But no one sees that until you actually bring out your personality. So, ladies, understand that just because a man thinks it's his job, it doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate you doing a little bit for him. Secondly, understand that it is so easy to stand out while everyone else is pouting and trying to look cool. And thirdly, understand that ultimately what wins is personality and providing value. And if someone sees that you provide value, that you're funny, that you're witty, that you're smart, that you're intelligent, that you're engaging, that you don't take yourself too seriously, automatically you become the most interesting person in the room.

And I guarantee you it will win over looks. Just try it instead of being scared that you're not enough. Just try it instead of being scared that you're not enough. Just try it. So we started off today talking about the power of making a man feel manly around you. But how do you do this? It can be challenging to strike the balance so that you don't sound patronizing when you do this, which is why I've carefully crafted five perfect phrases that you can say to any man that will make him feel like his best self around you. To download these five phrases, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash compliments.