Love Life with Matthew Hussey - How to Know if He’s a “Good Guy”

Episode Date: June 1, 2016

You’re over the “bad boys,” but you don’t really want the boring “Mr. Too Nice” either. So what should you be looking for? A “good guy!” In today’s episode of LOVE Life, I’ll tell you the two traits all “good guys” have, and how to tell if the man you like has them. The next guy you give your heart to will treat you well, but still keep you interested in the long run.

Hello everybody this is Matthew Hussey with Love Life. Do you know the number one most powerful technique you can use to get any man addicted to you and only you? Take a second to see if you can figure it out. Don't worry if you can't guess what it is. It's simple to use but it's also easy to overlook which is why most women will never use it. I'll tell you what this subtle trick is in just a moment. But first, let's get to the episode. We have a caller on the line here at Love Life. Her name is Chantel. Chantel, are you there?

Yes, I am here, Matthew. It's so good to hear your voice. How are you? Fantastic. How are you? Good. I'm great. I'm great. I'm excited about your question. Awesome. Okay. So here it is. What are some tips I can use to tell if a guy I'm thinking about dating is a good guy? Well, so that's a good question. I'm glad're looking for a good guy uh because it seems to me too many young women these days are proactively looking for a bad guy it's a really weird thing i i you know it's like i go out i go out and at night and sometimes when you're in these cool spots you see women just proactively paying attention to the worst type of people

and it's really soul destroying because you think oh god this is the world we live in these like these idiots get all the attention and there's really lovely people that uh just get treated badly uh because they seem like they actually have a heart um so i i think the key is to actually look for people that, let's start at the basics. Does this person look like they have a good sense of morality? You know, do they look like they're a kind person? I won't say a nice guy because I mean, if you've listened to some of my previous episodes, you know, nice is not a word that I'm in love with.

I find nice too often is just about people, kind of people pleasing, but kind is different. You know, you're looking for someone who actually has a sense of kindness. For example, when I go up to a woman to talk to her and she has a kind of a very mean demeanor, where she comes across kind of bitchy in that moment. I'm like, oh, you know, this is, this is, I now know you're not someone that I really want to speak to because even if you didn't like me, the woman of my dreams isn't mean to someone when they come over. That's, that's not what the woman I want to end up with does. So even just that little moment, I'm like, oh, that's already a departure from what I want. So I would be looking for the micro cues, the little things that he does

that show you that he's a good, like a kind guy versus someone who doesn't care too much about other people's feelings. Now, look, sometimes you only know these things once you start, once you've been on a date with someone, right? That's when you begin to know. And then you look for the little things, you know, does he, it's not always about old fashioned acts of chivalry. Did he pull out my chair? Did he open my car door? It's not always about that because the reality is there are actually guys who have mastered the art of being chivalrous and are just terrible people um you know there there are plenty of those in the world and i i know many of them they're they're they're really good at the showy acts of being a gentleman but when it really comes down

to it they don't care about people so i would be looking at the little things you know does are there are there moments when he shows you that he's actually sensing how you're feeling or, you know, he sees you cold and wants to look after you in that moment, or he knows that you, you're going to get a cab back to your place. Does he offer to, you know, is, is he worried about how you're going to get home? Is, you know, is he, does he want to he want to walk you to the bus station or to the train or to the cab or whatever? In little ways, is he actually showing you that he's a caring, loving person? Does he put you first sometimes? None of us put someone first all the time. That wouldn't even be a healthy way to live. but does he sometimes put you first or is it always about him does he always want to do things on his terms

you know is it always about you coming to him is it always about doing what he wants to do um does he show that he respects you you know there are so many little moments when i see men not respecting women um and not respecting their opinions. When you offer an opinion, does he make fun of it or is he engaged? Does he just talk about himself or is he curious about you and your life? Or is he just busy talking about how impressive he is and what his job is and what car he drives and whatever else. So you're, you're looking for those little moments where he shows kindness, a sense of, um,

appreciating that sometimes he, he's going to put you first or he's going to, um, he's not going to be so narcissistic that it's all about him. He, he, uh, is into you and appreciates you.

And does he show an interest in your life? Um, you know, so kindness, respect, uh, is into you and appreciates you. And does he show an interest in your life? Um, you know, so kindness, respect, uh, two, two very big words. Um, and I would be looking out for little moments that he shows those two things. And by the way, these two things are, I find they're not, when we go out, uh, especially in cool scenes, they're two things that are severely lacking i spend a lot of time in new york and when i go out in new york kindness and respect are two things that seem very very lacking a lot of the time there's a lot of there's a lot of i quote coolness like people being cool but there's not a lot of kindness and respect. And when I see someone who's kind and respectful, that person really stands out to me.

And by the way, um, the more attractive they are, you know, the better looking they are or the hotter they are or whatever. Um, it doesn't do it for me unless kindness and respect comes with it. When I see someone who's hot and they're kind and respectful,

that blows me away, uh, because it's a really rare commodity. Uh, worry about hot guys hot guys are easy they're the hot guys are everywhere right they're everywhere you go into any department store go into you know the gym go out at night you're going to see hot guys but finding a hot guy who's kind and respectful, that's not so common. And those are the ones that you should be valuing. Okay? Okay. All right. I think we did some good work here, Chantel. Yes, I think so too. Thank you, Matthew. This was good. I enjoyed that. Now, on to the answer to the question that I asked you at the start of the show. What's the number one most powerful technique to get any man addicted to you?

Compliments. It sounds simple, and it is. A well-given compliment will make him melt in your hands. But the exact words you need to use are crucial and easy to mess up. That's why I've created a special guide for you where I give you my five most powerful compliments that you can give to any man to create a deeper connection. To download your five compliments guide, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash compliments.