Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Make New Friends: Your 4-Step Action Plan

Episode Date: October 14, 2016

Why does it seem so difficult meet people as an adult? When you’re in a new city, job, or situation, it can feel embarrassing to try to make new friends. Well, guess what? We all feel this way, and yet most people do want to enjoy a great social life with fun and interesting people. So it’s time drop the shame. I’ve got 4 tips to help you connect with new people and strike up friendships. Before you know it, you’ll be out on the town with your new crew! 

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. Do you ever feel like you keep attracting the wrong kinds of men? I can understand how frustrated and hopeless this must make you feel at times. All you want is a good guy who appreciates you and treats you well. Someone who's a partner in all of life's ups and downs. But instead, you end up with jerks. Well, you're not alone. So many women can relate.

I want you to smile right now because today I'm going to give you a simple way to get rid of the jerks and only attract quality men into your life. Before I give that to you, let's get into today's episode. I want to talk about the subject today of friendship and more specifically, I want to talk about the subject today of friendship. And more specifically, I want to talk about how to make friends as an adult. Because I think this is a really interesting subject that is often avoided because we feel shameful that we need to make friends as an adult. We feel like we should have done that by now. And it's made worse by those people who, by the age of 30 or 40, they just have this amazing group of friends that they seem to have developed over their whole life. And we feel like it's

already too late for us to make lifelong friendships. So firstly, drop the shame, drop the embarrassment. There's nothing wrong with making new friends at whatever age you're at. So there are four things that I want to talk about right now. The first part is try. Change your definition of cool from indifference to energetic. So many of us, we act indifferent. You know, when someone says, oh, we're doing this thing next weekend and you go, oh, cool. They're like, do you want to come? And you go, uh, yeah, you know, I'll check some things and see if I can come. They act so indifferent because it feels cool to be indifferent. Like, yeah, I've got stuff going on and I certainly don't need to make new friends. Say yes and say

yes with enthusiasm, bring some energy and with it vulnerability. You know, there's a little vulnerability in showing that you're actually excited about doing something with someone. And it's a vulnerability that we're so afraid to show because what if I get too excited and they think, oh, why is he so excited? Why does he need us so much? Be excited. The next part, part two, is be an initiator. Get creative about bringing people together. Don't always wait for someone else to do something. I feel like when we're in a new area, we're always waiting for a party to happen. I need someone to invite me somewhere. And of course, there's some truth in that, but you only need to know one person in order to arrange something, to arrange going for coffee, to arrange going for a drink, whatever it is, you need one person to do that. Be the

initiator, get proactive in inviting people somewhere and create what we call reciprocity. When you start inviting people somewhere, they start to reciprocate. They want to invite you places back. So start that process. Don't wait for them to start it. The third part is contribute. You have to find what makes you someone who belongs in a group. Everyone has their thing. Some people bring the humor. You know, some people, they come and they're just entertaining and they make people laugh. Other people bring great conversation. They're always got interesting things to talk about, new experiences in life, a curiosity that means they have knowledge that other people don't. And when they come to a social gathering, they're

able to bring great insights and conversation. Or you might be the type of person that brings energy. You know, those type of people, when they walk in a room, they bring the energy up. We call them the life and soul. You can be that person with energy. Or by the way, you can be the person with all three. Some people's contribution, by the way, is money. You know, they come and they're the one with all the money. They can buy the round of drinks. Other people's contribution is social status. When they come, they're the connector. They can get people in every bar, every club, every lounge, every whatever. They're the one who can get people access. By the way, those are really poor things to rely on. You should be relying on some part of your personality. You want to rely on something table in that group? And then make sure you accentuate it around that group. The fourth part, the fourth tip in making these new friends as an adult is don't be precious and exclusive. People often have this arrogance that says, oh, I'm not

going to invite that person. I'm not going to bring this person along. This is just you and me. I'm not going to invite someone that I just met five minutes ago. They almost act like they already have a hundred people to go out with instead of being completely open and all encompassing. The way we have to start is we have to make our funnel really wide in the beginning. We have to say, if I meet someone, I'm going to invite them to the next place. I'm just going to be this inclusive person that just gathers mass as it rolls down the hill. Because what will happen is by the time you get to the bottom of the hill, you'll have included so many people and have so

many new people around you that you'll then be able to choose who you want to spend more time with. So that's it. Don't be afraid, my friends. Go make new friends. You can never have too many great people in your life and you never know what someone's going to bring to your life if you actually take that risk to get vulnerable first. Give, contribute and don't be exclusive. All right, I will see you next time. Make sure you join me in the discussions on Facebook. We are at facebook.com forward slash coach Matthew Hussey. I look forward to seeing you there. And if you want to hashtag us on Twitter and leave any comments or opinions, you can hashtag love life. I'll see you soon, my friends. Thanks for listening. Okay, so we started off today talking about how you want to finally stop attracting the wrong men.

I told you I have something for you that will show you how to make a quick shift that will bring the right kind of men into your life. Well, I've created a powerful have something for you that will show you how to make a quick shift that will bring the right kind of men into your life. Well, I've created a powerful training video for you called The Three Mindsets That Drive Men Wild. And it guides you through the simple steps that you can take to attract the kind of men you truly want. To get your free access to Three Mindsets That Drive Men Wild, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash mindsets.