Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Matt Monday): Afraid You'll Never Find Love? You NEED to Hear THIS

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Over the past week, so many of you have expressed how much Angela’s story in my new book, Love Life, touched you deeply (in the chapter titled “Have Hard Conversations”). So this week I thought I’d share the actual interview with her from my Live Retreat. I’ve found that one of the biggest confidence-killers in dating happens when we dwell on the reasons why someone may not be attracted to us. Our looks, our age, our past, even the fact that we have kids—the fear of rejection for who we are can stop us before we get started. Angela’s story is one of the most impactful I’ve heard on confidence and insecurity, and I think you’ll love hearing it in her own words. ►► Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → http://www.LoveLifeBook.com ►► Transform Your Relationship with Life in 6 Magical Days. Learn More About My Retreat at. . . → http://www.MHRetreat.com

🎵 🎵 Before we start today, I owe you a giant thank you to everybody who got a copy of Love Life. You are responsible for getting us to the New York Times bestseller list. This week, we came in at number three on the list, which is an extraordinary feat. And I am so grateful to all of you who have supported. Many of you ordered months in advance of the book actually coming out. So many of you ordered on the week of. I am so appreciative. This project has been four and a half years of my life. We wanted to get to the New York Times because we wanted to raise the profile of this book. We wanted to get it out there to more people. You have helped us do that. Thank you

from the bottom of my heart for helping us make this happen. This is such a crazy week for me and my team. We have been giddy all week knowing this, having this news, and I'm so excited for those of you that are hearing it for the first time. I'm so excited to be sharing it with you. Thank you. This is our win together, and you have helped me reach more of the world with this book. There is a story in the book about a person named Angela, a dear friend of mine. So many of you have read the book and have already read Angela's story, but you may not have had the chance to actually meet Angela through video. So I wanted to do something special today. In this video, I'm about to show you Angela was on stage

at my live retreat in Florida, making the audience laugh and cry in equal measure, myself included, but is a true story of hope for people in their confidence, their ability to overcome difficult circumstances, and their ability to find love no matter what. I cannot wait for you to see this. I present to you my dear friend, Angela. There was this one person on this program that called me up a couple of months back because she had had some things happen in her life

since that program. And when she made that call, I heard it and I went, you gotta come back. You got to come back. And I need you to tell other people what you've done because, wow. And so she came back this time. And I'm going to bring her up here.

And we're just going to spend five minutes just talking about what she has done since because her story is a very, very interesting one and so relevant to all of us. So, Angie, where are you? Oh, there she is. Okay. Give it up for Angela, everybody. How are you doing? Now that's 10 years or eight years now. Wow. Was it that long ago? Yeah Yeah and I haven't aged a bit. You haven't, you haven't. So you so you came on that program and I remember maybe maybe a good place to start is I know there was a big event in your life. Let's fill people in on that, because I feel like that gives us context for everything that we'll say after that.

So, as you can see, or you might not be able to see, I wear a prosthetic. And my story is quickly that I was 23 and I was making my way home from work and life was great. I was with friends, I had a job I loved and in a moment everything changed. I sadly was hit by a drunk and drugged driver and when he hit me in a van at 70 miles per hour, I was injured for life and the injuries I have now happened at that moment and the hardest thing was when my leg was taken from the impact of the vehicle, The driver stood over me and he walked away. And this is what led me to Matthew because being in hospital and getting told you're injured, you're not going to walk again, you're not going to live

independently again, we don't know if you're going to be able to have eat yourself or dress yourself I defied that I made sure when I left the hospital that I would walk again I walked in crutches but that was good enough but my self-worth was on the ground and there was nothing around me and there was nothing there that showed me how to put that together so I went on to YouTube and it was one of Matthew's earlier videos I mean that in a nice way of course and he was in a park what park was it London it was in Barclay Square yeah and I remember the I remember the video I was sat on a nowadays we have Jameson and everything I was sat on a bench just filming myself and I do this it wasn't on an iPhone it was on like an old Sony cam like yeah and it was about core confidence

and I knew what I read what confidence was you know you read in the magazines or your friends tell you be more confident but I knew my confidence was on the ground more than most because the thought that was left with me was like how am I worthy if somebody could walk away and leave me so I clicked on the video I watched it I wrote every word down what confidence is what the levels are like I've done the same as you guys and I still do the same thing I watch the videos I learn everything from it And one of the biggest things that ladies have taught me is we share the same thing. We just get it, what you're saying, you know?

So when I went on his website, you were doing an event down in London, and it was about confidence, wasn't it? And then I went to speak to Matthew, and again, he was bouncing from one side to the other. And it was like, this is amazing amazing and the ladies who I met there are the ladies who went to the retreat in Florida and we're still friends to this day and we're not friends because of what Matthew's connected us to because the journey that we've experienced and we're still experienced and I'm

still tapping into Matthew's work today because I still want to go to that next level in that next level so then when you I so that kind of brings us to the retreat because I remember a very specific moment on the retreat that you you reminded me of this home in Florida there was like a mini like kind of movie room. And Angela pulled me to one side and said, Hey, you know, you know, let's have a chat. We went into the movie room, we sat down one on one. And she and you can tell me if I'm paraphrasing correctly. But you had mentioned to me that when you were on a date what the the monologue that was constantly going through your mind is he's not gonna want me because I'm missing a limb yeah pretty much yeah what happened next before he got to that point um we sat in silence and he said I'm going to sit here until you tell

me what it is and I sat there and then I crossed I crossed about that I couldn't say because it's a guy sitting in front of me like can I say this the one thing that's on my mind and he just sat defiantly and he's like we're going to sit here all day it was like that pain Scottish stubbornness was coming out quite badly and in my head I was thinking he has to see other ladies so the more you sit there you're stopping him going to talk to the other ladies and allow them to have their moment and to talk about things but I just couldn't see it and then he said there's nothing I haven't heard before just that you've said this week

and I said it I think I blurted it out and he just said in what just those simple words like in what and all the things that I've been carrying with myself like it was like oh you've been carrying this you? You've built it up to this big picture? I remember saying to you, I remember looking at you and saying, how arrogant are you? You remember that? Yeah, I burst out laughing like, yeah. I never thought about that way she I said how arrogant are you and she went like this and then after like 30 seconds just died laughing do you remember like just in fits of laughter yeah and and I remember specifically Angela saying she started laughing and laughing and laughing and I said saying she started laughing and laughing and laughing

and I said as she was laughing I said what you need everyone to want you like everyone you go on a date with has to fall in love with you and choose you no one can reject you who are you no one's allowed to say I don't want you how arrogant is that and she started laughing and laughing and laughing and she says I know that is arrogant and she started like and and it was this this moment that I remembered that moment because of the phone call that you gave me because you then called me this was what you said 10 years ago something like that yeah you called me a few months ago and tell everyone what you told me by the way I also remember a moment where I also remember a moment where Angela was we were in the kitchen you remember and you fell over in the kitchen and I was so it's taken me a while, so just to give you a heads up here,

and with all you guys, this is pretty much the first time that I'm wearing a skirt with my legs out. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you. Thanks, guys. Please. The Scottishness.

But it was my mum at the back. And some of you might know my special story with my mum. She's always gave me the confidence to get out there and share it. And here I am. So I'm digressing. So when I went to Florida, it was all about the long dresses. Something cardigan to hide my arm. And I thought it was like a fashion statement I was going with

but looking back I was actually covering up, covering the insecurities, covering everything I could possibly do and that morning we were down to kitchen and I'm trying to catch up with everybody else and I remember Steve's in the kitchen, I remember mum's in the corner at the top of the table making sure everybody's OK. And Matthew came down and I just went... I fell. And my skirt went up. And I was like, oh, no, hopefully my pants don't show.

But I was more bored about my legs showing. I was more bored about that insecurity showing. I was more bored about that insecurity. That thing, that thing, like, you were talking about this week. See that thing that's holding you back, that thing that you don't want to talk about, that thing that's there. Like, see, since you start talking about it,

oh, my God, your life will go like this. It took me, like, come on like come on went to retreat ten years I took on this stuff then I kind of debated about I'll take this little bit but maybe not that little bit and I'll take this little bit maybe not that little bit some of it works some of it didn't and as time was going on I was like yeah this is taking a bit longer than everybody else. And then I thought, let's just do all of it. And all of it, again, my life opened up. And the story was the phone call that I shared with you.

So tell me, tell everyone what you told me, because this was one of the greatest phone calls I've had in these last two years. Can I just hear something about your mum before I go on? Yeah. So when I fell, I had to make a kind of a scene. And the one person that came over to me was his mum. And she picked me up and she could see that I spilt something on my dress.

I can't do an accent so I won't and she says you go upstairs get dressed come back down and I'll wash your dress she washed my dress by hand and she hung it up and just by doing that little thing like feeling embarrassed and feeling like so awkward just by that beautiful action that she done and it's not a big deal touched me and it still has touched me to this day like and Matthew says that's the way his mum is like and the next day I wore the dress again because of his mum so thank you I'm digressing sorry I think I'll take after you

so the thing was leading up to this information I was going to share with Matthew was how do I get the guy who goes all around the world how do you reach out to the guy who's everywhere so I thought right I'll send this email but I don't know if you'll get it I don't know if it'll even reach him you know like and get the guy techniques the techniques that he shares with you today now if this is me if that was there 10 years ago and this is here now your life is going to be even more better than mine was I met a guy and the second date the first date was good you meant for a couple hours caught up and the second date as Matthew said just put it on the table just tell him what it is like get it over and done with and I did and I was so worried when I was going to tell this guy what my accident was and what scars I've got and what I wear

that he turned around and he said the same thing as Matthew and what and I knew I knew then that this is the man for me. And within, yeah, like, just, and it wasn't because of what Matthew said, that this man had said this, probably, but also what Matthew had taught me about myself. When I was sharing this with him I remember before meeting up with him if he doesn't like

me for who I am then stuff it like I'll just keep going I'll keep going like it does my worth doesn't define what his is so they get the guy stuff, that works. So and with all, if I'm standing here and you can see what I wear, my scars, the insecurities, any insecurities you've had, I've had it. Seen it, done it, got the picture. If I can get that, you can certainly get that. And then a few months later, we went to St Andrews which is a beautiful place

in Scotland so we went on holiday and he booked the honeymoon suite and I was like wow like nobody's ever done that for me and I was like this is amazing he said oh it just so happened the hotel that was the only room they had I was like wow amazing my mum knows and then we go out for something to eat and then he's really nervous like at one point he was shaking and at one point he's like he literally said you want to try this and when he said to try the food it went and hit someone it was like that bad and I was thinking I was like, and I've still got it. And then he's like that, I need to take you to St Andrews. It's a beautiful place up there. Beautiful scenery. And I was like, yeah, let's do that under the stars.

Beautiful. And then he's like, close your eyes. I've got a surprise for you. And I was like, okay. And then I'm closing my eyes. And this is five minutes later. And I'm thinking, I'm going to get murdered. I'm going to get murdered. It okay and then I'm closing my eyes and this is five minutes later and I'm thinking I'm gonna get murdered I'm gonna get murdered it's like I'm thinking the worst and then he's like close your eyes and I was like okay and then walking with heels on sand with a

prosthetic leg is really difficult so I'm going down to the sand and I'm like trying to walk sexy but slipping. It was like, but he thought it was cute. It wasn't really. And then I just was like, wow, this is so beautiful. And look at everything you can see. And then, what are you doing down there? And he proposed. And six months later later we're married. Because of you.

I've got two more things to share. Just I don't want to take your time up. No, take my time up. You can run the day today. I think my nerves are kind of disappeared now because I'm super excited now that I'm sharing this with you girls. Because see, all week I've wanted to tell you things. I've wanted to come and sit with you, but I've had to kind of stay a wee bit, what's the word, closed. You know, like in case I slipped up and I shared this, you know, because I'm a bit of a gab so another thing that I shared with Matthew was my story the thing that I couldn't speak about the thing that caused me most torment the most

thing that I was scared about again this thing about the thing that's holding you back is now for me now I've spoke about it Matthew got it out me I've now started my own charity and I now help families and children who have been hurt by drunk and drug drivers so yeah but I wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't experienced the retreat I wouldn't have experienced that if I hadn't had the beautiful elephant hair presentation I wouldn't have experienced that if I hadn't had the beautiful elephant hair presentation I wouldn't have had to been able to do that if his mum's love and affection like the way that she is with people like I am like that now when I go and visit families you know just with a touch or not washing clothes but and my beautiful mom in the corner as well like her kindness and compassion and beauty and

always been there for me you know I feel very lucky but it's took all this time to get here so I need to give this to you because I need to show you something so one of the saddest things thank you so one of the saddest things about being in the accident and what she does for you guys is like getting told that this is not going to happen for you, like you're not going to have your life, you're not going to, Matthew was talking about the moment when you look back at your life and you don't have the people around you or you don't have the things that you want and I was told because the severity of my injuries that I'm never going to have a child I imagine that like you've always wanted to have a family and have a child and to have that taken away from you and

to think like how do you console yourself with that like Like, I don't think I could, and lucky I've got the love of my lovely husband now and things like that. But Matthew wanted me to come out and talk when was it, Christmas time? And sadly, I had to go back into hospital for another operation. And my operation, it wasn't good, ladies.

It was really hard, in fact. It was life-changing. Mummy, can you come and see this, Pauline? Pauline's evening, can you come and see this? I'm going to show you guys just in a minute, but I just want you to see this reaction because their love and care for the retreat has brought i'll let you share that with I was like, oh, so lovely. I know. So, I know.

So the, yeah. So can we be together now? I'm so nobody told you in the spoil the surprise. How could you not tell me that on the phone? It was really hard. Like, it was really hard. I did have work. Well, I did say to him I had work on, and I did have work.

But it was still that way, like, would it be safe to travel and things like that and um but most importantly like what's her name Hannah and she's so cute it's like sometimes I look at her and I just think wow like I carried you like amazing and I think what I want to share with you and I hope this you can all hear this like if you think like coming to the retreat or get the guy thing and you're thinking oh it's not knitting not getting it I don't have my goals I don't have this or or you might be thinking oh this is what I want to do it's funny how things just change but they've changed because you've had this experience and I'm not any different for you. My scars

are different, my life experience is a bit different but I'm just like you, I'm just like one of the girls. But I know and I've came from Scotland, two flights away. I dragged my mum here. She's now burnt. Sorry, sorry. It's a lovely suntan. I've came this way because I want to tell you that this works. I was trying to think of a beautiful quote or something like that, but that's what I said to you on the phone.

This works. there's no like sugarcoating it there's no putting it a pretty bow or if this is want your life to be better and sometimes I started out thinking I wanted to go in this direction it's took me to this direction but I have fulfillment in my life in all areas, but I know that I'm going to have dips and I've got tools now as well. Like I feel boosted and I've got even more tools for my self-esteem and my confidence. But I know what I've learned from you.

I'm going to teach Hannah and what amazing little girl she's going to turn into. Do you know what I mean? So I want to say, thank you for listening. Thank you, Pauline. Mommy Pauline. Thank you, Steve, for your amazing elephant.

I'm with mom there. And of course, my mom, I love you. But the trailblazer, Matthew. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, darling. Ladies, please can we, because Angela did not need to come here this week and she has for us, can we give her a huge round of applause?

Give it up for Angela, everybody. Thank you so much for watching. Leave me a comment and let me know what that meant to you. What story have you been telling yourself about why finding love is never gonna happen for you? I want you to leave me a comment telling me and how Angela's story affected you and maybe even shifted that story a little bit. Maybe it made you realize that there is hope,

that no matter what the circumstances, things are possible for us that we never imagined or that we think are not available to us. So leave me a comment. What's the story you've been telling yourself about why you'll never find love? And how has your story shifted a little bit since watching that video?

And by the way, this moment with Angela took place on our retreat in Florida. For anyone who wants to join us this year, our event is from the 9th to the 14th of September. It is six days of immersion with me leading you through a process that I've developed over 15, well, 17 years of my life now. So if that video made you feel like this is a place you want to be, and you want those six days of growth for yourself, then check it out. I'll leave a link

and you can come and see for yourself. Thank you so much for watching. Do leave me a comment before you go. I will be reading them. And thank you again for everything that you have done to help us get this book out to the world. I'm so very grateful and I look forward to seeing you in the next video.