Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Matt Monday): This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Sign He's NOT SERIOUS

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

The question Audrey and I answer in this week’s new episode is an important one, because it happens to people All. The. Time! We’re all familiar with obvious red flags, but some red flags feel so good, they’re easy to miss . . . you know, like when someone is saying the most romantic things, wanting to spend all of their time with us, and making plans for the future . . . In that scenario, it can be a little trickier to discern someone who’s pretending to be interested from someone who’s truly invested (though perhaps a little over-excited). --- ►► Discover the 4 Secrets for Escaping Casual Dating Traps. Claim Your FREE PASS for My Dating With Results Training at. . . → http://www.DatingWithResults.com

How long has she been speaking to this man? It doesn't say. But is it appropriate for someone who... Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. There's very little about what was just said that's appropriate. So for this week, I thought I'd do something a little different. I have a club called the Love Life Club and every month I answer questions of my members. This one caught my attention as something that would be fun to bring to all of you here.

It was someone who asked, how do you know the difference between someone who is love bombing you and someone who has real intentions? This was my answer. Can we do one final question? Please, yeah. From someone called Tamila. How do I differentiate between love bombing and genuine attention?

I met a man online, in brackets, I'm traveling out of country. He was pursuing me and is waiting to meet when I'm back in the US. We're in different states and he's organizing a date in his city, San Diego, in a month. In his text, there's a lot of us talk talk of living together how many kids i'd want asking me for my preferences on houses calling me wifey etc help how do i differentiate between love bombing and genuine intention how long has she been speaking to this man she met him online but how long ago it doesn't. But is it appropriate for someone who... No. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

There's very little about what was just said that's appropriate. It's, you know, that has love bombing written all over it. How do you not get swept up? Because it's a lovely thing to hear, right? You meet someone you find attractive, whatever. And they're saying all the right things. And they're saying all these, like, how do you stop yourself from getting carried away in those kinds of words? Here's what you hear in your head. You hear, imagine someone just rang your phone, like it was an unknown number and you picked it up and it was a automated

message. And it said, you have been selected from a random pool of people to collect two million dollars all you need to do to collect your winnings is to speak now with your bank account details so that we can deposit the funds that's what you imagine being said yeah because because if that happened we'd all be like hang up why this doesn't make any sense why you're giving me two million dollars right now i've never been that lucky in my entire life it doesn't add up. $2 million is not that easy to make. No. If someone out of nowhere starts saying, wifey this, wifey that, we're going to have this many kids, we're going to live in this house. Either they are projecting to a scary degree, which means that there's something unhealthy about them. And they,

they believe they're this in love with you and they're mistaken because they don't even know you. So that love isn't real. And you're dealing with a really unhealthy person or you're dealing with a scammer. What they're scamming you out of, it might be sex, it might be money, it might be just all of your energy, and they're not going to give you anything in return. They're just going to bring you out to San Diego and have fun with you and then send you back and be like, wifey what? I didn't say any of that.

I don't remember any of that. It's, you know, there's's some they're trying to get something yeah they're trying to get something um so you you have to start seeing it for what it really is it feels like it feels nice to be told you just won a million dollars, but you can't trust it. And it's the same with this. How can you feel this way about me? You do not know me. You have no idea who I am. So either take the time to actually get to know who I am and let's start again or um i'm gonna see this for what it is which is either a gross projection or a

manipulation um but someone can't someone can only know you over time by asking questions by taking the time to actually get to know you and by the way be careful of like traveling to see someone who you don't know i mean in general are they willing to make an effort to see you? Could they meet you halfway? You know, like, is there a way for the two of you to meet in a way that requires at least some mutual investment? Because the, you know, fly to be with me in my backyard is a very easy thing to say to someone.

And I'm not saying that means they're dangerous or evil but at the very least it's like it's a lot of work for you and none for them i think that's such a good point we've made it before but um just when somebody asks you to fly to see them it feels like investment because you go oh oh my God, they really want to spend all this time with me. But actually it's no investment if the person is thinking, well, I'm going to have a nice weekend, I'm going to get sex out of it.

And then they fly home and I never have to think about it again. Or I certainly don't have to think about it further than that weekend until I decide. But we think it feels like, because it feels like investment right it feels like it's something serious because you think oh this person wants to spend a weekend with me exactly so yeah I think that's really interesting what it is is you're depositing a whole lot of money

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