Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Meeting His Family? Your 3 Step Survival Guide

Episode Date: December 23, 2016

Meeting your boyfriend’s family for the first time can feel like a lot of pressure… especially when he saves your introduction for a big holiday get-together. What should you say? How should you act? Should you bring a gift and, if so, what??? First of all: breathe. You’ve got this. I’m going to take you through my simple, 3-step survival guide that will tell you exactly what to do. I’ll also share a secret that will take all of the pressure off. Hint: You actually don’t have to worry about impressing his family after all. 

This is Love Life and I'm your host, Matthew Hussey. It's so exciting to hear feedback from women who say things like, Matt, I tried the advice from your podcast and I met someone incredible that same night. But occasionally, I'll hear something like, when something finally starts to go right in my life, I have trouble trusting that it's real and I just can't enjoy it. If you can relate, I want you to stay tuned until the end of today's show because there's something really exciting I

want to share with you that has the power to change your way of thinking forever. But first, let's get to the episode. We are here in this kind of holiday period and I know that it's very likely that during this time you might be meeting the special people in your partner's life, their friends, their family. And I want to make sure that you do that right. So let's get into it. Now, the common question people ask about this is how soon is too soon to meet your partner's family. I think this is overemphasized as something of importance. I don't think it matters too much when you meet your partner's family, but you have to temper how you behave in terms of if you meet them early, early,

don't go in there talking about like your son is just the best man I've ever met. I just see myself with him. He's just such a great man. If the parents know that you met last week, then they're not going to respect you being too into their daughter or their son at that stage because it's not real. So temper how you do things to the amount of time that has lapsed between meeting that person and meeting their parents. Secondly, do your homework. Before you meet their parents, do your homework. Find out a little bit about the mom, the dad, the brother, the sister. Find out about what they actually like. If it's at their house,

it makes sense to bring some sort of a gift. But here's the sort of gift you should bring. Firstly, if you don't know anything, okay, fall back on the wine or the flowers. You can't really go wrong. It then is not really a gift that's any thought, but it is a gesture. But if you can, then find out about their mom or their dad. If their dad loves cooking, then wouldn't it be cool if you found like a little utensil or a little fun thing for the kitchen that you brought for him? If you know that it's around Christmas and the mom loves Christmas, she decorates the house and you found that out, then buy a Christmas decoration. They're going to love that. It shows that you actually care. It shows that you've thought about it. That's a nice thing to do. Now, when you get there and you're spending time with them, I want to put a little

note in about your energy and the way you are. People always talk about trying, right? When you get there, you should try because you want to impress them because they're their family and it's important. I want to put in a note about not trying too hard because this is the thing that people constantly do is they underestimate the intelligence of their partner's family. When you meet them, assume that if you're over the top, they're going to see right through that. Here's the thing. Don't focus on impressing. Focus on if you're over the top, they're going to see right through that. Here's the thing. Don't focus on impressing. Focus on connecting.

And by the way, impressing, never kid yourself that impressing comes from like a generous place of, oh, I just really want them to like me. And I just want, they're their family, so I care about them. Impressing doesn't come from that place. Impressing comes from a place of narcissism. It's interesting to be interested, right? So rather than focusing on being interesting, be interested in them and their family. If you're going to compliment their daughter or their son in front of them, do it from a genuine place. You know, you don't have to do it from the cheesy place of, well,

you've raised such an amazing daughter or you've raised such an amazing man. You don't have to do it from a cheesy place. Do it from a real place. You know what? One thing I noticed about your daughter is she is one of the most generous people I've ever met. She really is. Like, I don't meet people like her. How did you do that?

So get into their stuff. Find out what interests them. Find out what their hobbies are. Don't think about your performance. You're never going to, by the way, you're never going to win them over all in one night. Real respect comes over time. It comes over time and focus on an energy and a delivery and a level of interest that you can sustain over time, not a performance that you can only keep up for one night. So that's it. Go have fun. Enjoy.

I've taken all the pressure off. You don't have to impress. Just connect. I will see you soon, my friends. Send us a message, hashtag love life, or come to my website, which I will say unashamedly is the best thing in the world. It's got amazing information.

It's howtogettheguide.com. And I will see you soon. Now, if you said earlier, yes, Matt, I'm ready for a big life transformation now, then I want to invite you to apply for my retreat program. Now, spots are limited, but if you're accepted onto the program, I'll lead you through a series of powerful coaching sessions and enlightening exercises that will remove every barrier standing in between you and the extraordinary life you deserve. You'll walk away with a practical set of tools to achieve the career, love, balance, and fulfillment you've always wanted. To claim your spot for a phone interview with one of my

expert mentors, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash retreat. Take care and I'll speak to you soon.