Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Mistakes Can’t Hurt You if You Remember This

Episode Date: February 10, 2017

  I made a colossal mistake the other day on national television. Want to hear the embarrassing story? I’ll tell you in this episode. Not just because I’ve gotten good at laughing at myself for moments like this (though I have – and that’s one of the lessons here), but because it will teach you 3 crucial things to spare you from hurt next time you make a mistake. (Which you will. Because you’re human.) And how do you deal when other people think you’re a screw-up? I give you one amazing piece of advice on how to prove them wrong. 

I'm Matthew Hussey and this is Love Life. If you've ever felt like you didn't know the right words to say to a man to create attraction and chemistry, then you can't afford to miss what I have for you at the end of today's episode. Stay tuned, because I'm going to hand you five phrases that are so simple yet so powerful with men that you're going to be furious at me for not giving this to you years ago. I want to talk about mistakes today. Recently, I made a mistake while I was on the Today Show. Some of you know and watch. I'm on the Today Show every couple of weeks giving advice with Kathy Lee and Hoda. And they were in front of me on this one live segment. And they asked me a question about, what was it, Valentine's Day, wasn't it? They asked me a question about Valentine's it valentine's day wasn't it they asked

me a question about valentine's day about what this woman should do and i said well you know what there are three things that i always tell people on valentine's day number one stop idealizing other people's crappy relationships now the great part about this was everyone laughed and and it kind of created this great momentum and this great atmosphere. I was off to a very strong start. And then I went number two. And I completely forgot what number two was. That's the problem, of course, with giving a certain amount of numbers on live TV is if you can't think of number two and three, you're kind of screwed because you already said how many you're going to say.

So I got to number two and I couldn't think of it. And I started laughing and I said, you know what? It's gone. I lost it. And I said, you know what it was? I was laughing. I was soaking up all of the validation that I was getting from you guys laughing at number one, that I completely lost my train of thought. I was just basking in the glory. I said, but you're going to have to move on because I forgot. And we started laughing and we moved on to the next question. Now, the interesting thing about this was afterwards, I got a call from my agent. I got a call from friends all saying, oh, I love that one. That was so fun and dynamic. That was, you were really great on today's episode. And I kind of was puzzling

because I said to them all, hang on, did you, did you see that? I completely forgot what I was going to say. And they went, well, yeah, no, that was funny. That was really funny part. And I went, no, but it wasn't a part. I forgot what I was going to say. They went, yeah, no, but it was funny. No one noticed or made a deal out of it. And I realized that that was because at this stage in my career, I've done enough of that to know that if something like that happens, laugh it off, have fun with it and move on to the next thing as quickly as possible. And it made me realize something about mistakes. The mistakes themselves that we make in life are rarely the things that hurt us the most. The thing that hurts us the most is our reactions to our mistakes. And I have three ways that I want to encourage you to react to mistakes from now on, because

guaranteed, by the way, as soon as you get over one mistake, you to react to mistakes from now on, because guaranteed, by the way, as soon as you get over one mistake, you're going to make another one. You're going to be making mistakes every day for the rest of your life. So understanding how to deal with mistakes is as important as understanding how to deal with successes. So number one, firstly, remember, you're not special for making a mistake. Every single person on this earth does it daily. We all screw up all the time. If I was sat there on the Today Show having this whole woe is me moment thinking, oh God, I messed up on live TV. This is so terrible. What am I? I'm the only person on TV who ever forgot what they were going to say. Of course not. It happens all the time. It doesn't make me

special. This isn't a moment for me to play the violin for myself or indulge. This is a moment to understand that I'm a human being like everyone else. Everyone screws up. Second thing, don't overreact. Own your mistake. Be honest about it. Laugh about it or say sorry for it or whatever you need to do, whatever is the appropriate response, but give it the appropriate response. Don't sit there overreacting to that mistake because let me tell you, people take their license from you. However you react to something is how they think they should now react to it. If you make it bigger than it is, so will everybody else. So two, don't overreact. Number three, get onto the next thing. I was a

big fan of West Wing. There's this moment where Martin Sheen, the wonderful president, every time he has a discussion or every time they problem solve in the Oval Office, at the end of it, he always says, OK, what's next? And it may seem simple to you, but that line became incredibly profound for me over the last few years. Because every time I'd drawn a line under the last thing, my brain immediately went to, okay, what's next? Because that's what life's about. It's not about dwelling on that one thing consistently, because that's not a life well

lived. And it's not a very interesting life either. It's about getting onto the next thing. Do you know how you make people forget your mistake? Go and do something well. Go and do the next thing. Go and do something even better. You know what? Your last relationship that you screwed up in won't matter to you when you go out and find another great relationship. That error you made in business won't matter when you go and strike the next big deal. But if you sit there dwelling on the mistake, instead of just saying, okay, what's next? You will ruin your chances of ever moving forward. I put to you, my friends, that the thing that

affects you most is not your mistakes, but your reactions to your mistakes. And if you can deal with them in these three ways, you will change your whole life. And here's the thing. I've heard it said that life is 10% what happens to you, 90% how you react to it. Now, whether or not you think that's extreme, the sentiment is absolutely true. How you react to what happens in your life is everything. And you can't control what happens, but you can certainly control that space in between when you actually get to decide how you react to what happens. So take care, my friends. Go out there, react to your mistakes in the right way, and I'll see you in the next episode. Now, before you get too mad at me for not giving you the five phrases years ago that could have saved you all that heartache, this guide is based on years and years of studying

the exact words to say to trigger deep chemistry with men. I'm happy to say that all of my effort was worth it because these five phrases work so incredibly well with men. So let's not wait another minute to download these five phrases. Just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash compliments.