Love Life with Matthew Hussey - No One Stole Your Boyfriend!

Episode Date: March 2, 2016

Warning: if you enjoy playing the victim, don’t listen to this episode!  I explain why it’s impossible for someone to “steal” your boyfriend, and how to get closure if he leaves you for someone else.

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. Do you ever feel like you keep attracting the wrong kinds of men? I can understand how frustrated and hopeless this must make you feel at times. All you want is a good guy who appreciates you and treats you well. Someone who's a partner in all of life's ups and downs. But instead, you end up with jerks. Well, you're not alone. So many women can relate.

I want you to smile right now because today I'm going to give you a simple way to get rid of the jerks and only attract quality men into your life. Before I give that to you, let's get into today's episode. This episode of Love Life is titled, No One Stole Your Boyfriend, So Shut Up. I have been listening to people for years talk about how they were in a situation where another woman came along and stole their man. And I am so sick of hearing it because no one can steal a person.

It doesn't work like that. A person is not a toy. A person is a person. They have free will. They have consciousness. They make decisions on their own. So when someone starts talking from a very victim mindset that, well, I was doing just fine until so-and-so came along and stole my man, until so-and-so came along and took him from me. I think this is utter nonsense. No one has that power, by the way. Anytime someone's talking about this, they're focusing on the wrong person, right? Rather than focusing on the person that they think came along and did something to them, they should be focused on the person that

they are with, because that's the person they're actually having a relationship with. They're not having a relationship with the third party who came along and did something. They're having a relationship with the person they actually are with. And if that person decided, I'm going to leave and be with this person instead, that's on them. That's not on anybody else. I believe in life in general, but in relationships, we have to stop playing the victim where we said that some outside force did something. You know, something made my partner do this or something turned them against me.

If we're with the right person, they cannot be stolen. It doesn't work like that. When somebody else comes along, that person says, I'm fine, thank you. I'm perfectly happy in this relationship and I don't need to take your offer. They don't say, oh, you know, this seems great. I'm going to go with you now and blame it on you. You're the person who seduced me and took me away from my happy relationship. It doesn't work like that. So the advice today is simple. If you've been in a situation before where you have used the victim card to say that somebody else came along and did something to your relationship when really the person responsible is your partner, not the third party. Acknowledge that my partner was the one who left. My partner was the one who cheated, if that be the case. My partner was the one who lied. And I have to stop putting my focus on someone or something else

in order to shift the blame away from my perfect relationship. Maybe the relationship wasn't perfect. Maybe you weren't supposed to be with this person after all. Maybe they weren't right for you. Maybe this was someone that is better off gone now. Once we accept that, once we actually say my partner is responsible for this, not somebody else, then we have real closure because we realize no one can steal this person away from me if they were really mine. If this was really the relationship I thought, no one could come along and do that to this relationship. If someone was able to come along and do that, that highlights a deeper problem that I can now acknowledge and actually feel comfortable with that, you know what,

in some crazy way, thank God something came along to highlight a problem that was clearly there when they did. Because had that someone or something not come along to highlight that problem when it did, I might have actually been with this person far longer than I should have been. And that could have made me very unhappy over the long term. Life is short. So sometimes when something ends your relationship and you think it's premature, but actually it just highlighted a deeper problem, it can do you the biggest favor in the world, even though you think it's the biggest tragedy in the world at the time. Thank you so much for listening. I really appreciate you being here on Love Life and we have our outs already, so

we don't need a formal ending. Okay, so we started off today talking about how you want to finally stop attracting the wrong men. I told you I have something for you that will show you how to make a quick shift that will bring the right kind of men into your life. Well, I've created a powerful training video for you called The Three Mindsets That Drive Men Wild, and it guides you through the three mindsets that drive men wild. And it guides you through the simple steps that you can take to attract the kind of men you truly want to get your free access to three mindsets that drive men wild. Just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash mindsets.