Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Quick Tips to Enjoy (a Misery-Free) Valentine’s Day

Episode Date: February 10, 2016

Valentine’s Day masquerades as a holiday of love and romance, but for many of us it’s actually filled with pressure and disappointment. No matter what your situation – single, dating, in a (complicated) relationship – I have tips for you to actually enjoy this day (which is JUST, by the way, A DAY…) and how you can use 1% shifts in your attitude and behavior to guarantee it’s filled with love.

Hello everybody this is Matthew Hussey with Love Life. Do you know the number one most powerful technique you can use to get any man addicted to you and only you? Take a second to see if you can figure it out. Don't worry if you can't guess what it is. It's simple to use but it's also easy to overlook which is why most women will never use it. I'll tell you what this subtle trick is in just a moment. We're talking about Valentine's today and more to the point, how to not be miserable on Valentine's Day. I believe there are four types of miserable people on Valentine's Day. I'm going to stick with you ladies, but of course you can imagine it being for the guy as well. The first type of miserable person is the kind of recluse, the introvert.

Now this is the person that isn't just without a guy on Valentine's Day, but they also kind of feel themselves without friends on Valentine's Day. So how do you solve that? Well, the nice thing about being the recluse is that a 1% shift in your life will make a huge difference because you have everything to gain and nothing to lose socially. Let's say, I'm going to set you a little challenge. The next time you go into work or into a situation where you're around people that you kind of know, but don't know incredibly well and haven't really given the time and energy to, bring something for the crowd. Bring a box of donuts, bring a tray of

juices or some cookies or whatever. Because when they all grab one, you say, you just go into work and you say, Hey guys, I brought these for everyone. I just thought it'd be nice for everyone to have something today. That's it. When everyone grabs one, they're all going to be talking about you. Oh, wasn't that so nice of Kate? She brought these in for everyone. When someone else comes and says, who brought these? And someone says, Oh, it was Kate over there. They say, oh, I've never really spoken to her before. That's fine. When people start saying thank you to you, you can then start a conversation with them. Oh, that's okay. You're so welcome. They'll see, oh, she's trying. She's nice. She wants to be part of the crowd and they'll start giving you more love and attention.

The second type of person on Valentine's day is the person that feels like they have friends, but they don't have someone to love on that day. Well, here's my advice to you today. Firstly, make it a day to love everyone that you can give love to, to your friends, to your family, make them feel special. The second thing you can do is if there's a guy you're attracted to, there is a way for you to do something fun and flirtatious that's not overly desperate with him. Buy a little bottle of whiskey and a little card and give it to him and say, write on the card, just in case I'm the only one who thinks you're cute today. And then leave that with him. It's like a fun, cheeky little message. It's not too over the top, but it's something that communicates that you think he's cute. When cute can be kind of an ambiguous word

as well. The third is reflect a little. If you're single today and you want to be in a relationship, try and figure out why you're single. Is it because you don't go out enough? Is it because you don't meet enough people? Is it because you don't put yourself on the line and ask the question enough? Once you understand that or even have a good guess at it, you can start to self correct piece by piece. So don't worry about this Valentine's Day, but make it your mission to start being proactive. The third type of person that gets miserable on Valentine's Day is the person that's dating a guy but is ambiguous as to whether it's a relationship or not. And Valentine's Day feels like that extra

sting because they want to know, am I the person that this person is dating? Are they going to be taking someone else out on Valentine's Day? Here's my advice. Don't overemphasize Valentine's Day. Do not get caught up in the madness. Now, it's a valid question to ask, is the relationship going anywhere? It's also a valid question to ask, is he putting in any effort? However, Valentine's Day is a day where the worst guy can double down. You know, if he's a terrible guy the rest of the time, he can choose Valentine's Day to make it up to you. That doesn't mean that it's any more likely that it's going to get to a relationship stage. And it's a day where if you start to put pressure on him and start asking the question, where are we? Are we in a relationship? What is it with us?

Then you're going to let this day rush you into saying and doing things that you wouldn't otherwise do. So measure him on how he is over time the rest of the year. Don't measure him on what he does on this one specific day. Fourth type of person is the person that's in a relationship. Now, how could this person be miserable on Valentine's, you ask? Well, by comparison. When the person who's been in a relationship for five years looks over at the woman next to her who's been dating a guy for a month and the new guy brings her flowers and is taking her out and has got a car coming to pick her up and her boyfriend of five years can barely remember to send her a card, she starts to do the comparison

game. Here's why that's so dangerous. Your guy can never measure up to what every other guy is doing on Valentine's. There will always be someone who chose today for that crazy big gesture that he can't compete with. Nor, by the way, is Valentine's even important to everybody. So by the way, if Valentine's is important to your guy, you better communicate it now. Don't talk about the presents you want, but talk about how excited you are to spend Valentine's with him. Make it about the quality time. Don't make it about the crap that everyone talks about on Valentine's Day because it doesn't need to be about that. And don't overly measure him on what he does for you on Valentine's Day, one day of the year. Measure him on how much he gives to you every day of the year. So that's it. Whatever you do on Valentine's, remember, this is just a day,

a meaningless day, much like New Year's. It's just a day we choose to make resolutions. So if you want to give it energy on that day, give it energy, but come from a place of giving, not receiving. And don't be overly harsh on the person that doesn't choose this insignificant day as the one day they give you everything you've ever wanted. Now, on to the answer to the question that I asked you at the start of the show. What's the number one most powerful technique to get any man addicted to you? Compliments. It sounds simple, and it is.

A well-given compliment will make him melt in your hands. But the exact words you need to use are crucial and easy to mess up. That's why I've created a special guide for you where I give you my five most powerful compliments that you can give to any man to create a deeper connection. To download your five compliments guide, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash compliments.