Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): #1 Mindset to Conquer Rejection

Episode Date: June 20, 2025

What could possibly be more painful than rejection? Turns out, there's one feeling that IS. In this week's Rewind episode, I reveal what it is and share the one mindset that will get you over your fear of rejection once and for all so you can finally put yourself "out there" without worrying about getting hurt again... --- ►► Transform Your Relationship With Life Learn More About the Matthew Hussey Retreat at . . . → http://www.MHRetreat.com ►► Get The Momentum Texts → http://www.MomentumTexts.com ►► Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free Now at. . .  → http://www.AskMH.com

You tell me which is scarier? The possible rejection from another guy or living your whole life as somebody that you don't like? Welcome to the Love Life podcast. It's me, Matthew Hussey. Enjoy this classic clip from our archives. And if you want to let me know what you think or how this podcast is helping you, don't forget to leave me a review on iTunes under the Love Life podcast. Enjoy. All right. So I read your tweet yesterday about rejection and I agreed with it 100%.

But let's be honest, rejection really sucks. So how can I move on from it? What sucks about rejection? Well, just the feeling that you get afterwards, knowing that you weren't the one that that person chose. So just moving on after the grieving process, that's what really really is petrifying to me. What was the rejection that you had in mind? Was it someone that rejected you for a relationship? Was it someone that said they weren't attracted to you? What was the rejection? Someone that rejected me for a relationship. We were really, really close and he decided that he would go and be with someone else and they actually ended up getting married.

And it was really painful and difficult for me to move on from that. So that's what really, you know, stuck on my mind. How do I move on from that? How do I try to get into another relationship? Because at this point, I'm just afraid of allowing somebody so close to me again. Yeah, it's really hard, isn't it? Absolutely. Yeah, it's really hard. Think about it for a moment. Sometimes when we get upset because someone said they didn't want us, and then we say, well, I'm now afraid to go back out there again in case the next person doesn't want me.

We can come dangerously close to essentially putting out the message that everyone is supposed to want us. Like if we want somebody and then that person didn't want us back, well, now that's going to turn us off because everyone should have wanted me and the next person might not want me either. Well, the truth is there are many, many, many, many, many people who aren't going to want us. Just as, look, I consider myself to be a good public speaker, I also know that I have a certain audience that I'm not for everybody and that there will be certain audiences that will never come to my seminars.

It doesn't change how good of a public speaker I am. I would not base how good I am on whether people want to come to my shows or not. There are certain types of people that will come and see me live because they like the work that I do. But just because some people don't like the work that I do, it doesn't mean I'm not a good public speaker. It doesn't mean I don't have good things to say. Do you understand what I mean by that? Yes, I do. You're just, you have to know that not everyone is your audience.

That is true. I guess what my biggest concern is Because I've already gone through that process, you know, I read your books and listen to a lot of your Your radio sessions, but I guess my biggest concern is The fact that sometimes I just make myself feel unapproachable because I'm afraid of getting hurt again Well, so so how do you want to live your life? Um, carefree. Like I've always been. It's just fear. I'm just fearful of getting rejected again, I guess. But what are you more fearful of? Getting rejected again or living your life in a cave?

I guess being in a cave. Isn't, isn't that worse if you picture the rest of your life cowering and being afraid and being this person who can't go and talk to people or can't put themselves out there or can't actually go and give people compliments in case she doesn't get one back. Is that an image that excites you for your life? No, it sounds pretty boring. It sounds pretty worse, I think. I think if you were honest, you would say it was worse than boring. It's kind of a gross image, isn't it, of your life? This idea that you'll constantly be cowering in

a corner while other people go and have fun and talk to each other and have relationships. You're cowering in a corner because of a couple of rejections you've had. Yeah, you're absolutely right. You know that, that I think is scarier. You tell me, you have to be the expert in your life. You tell me which is scarier, the possible rejection from another guy or living your whole life as somebody that you don't like. Well I would hate being somebody that I don't like. I want to be comfortable in my own skin so I guess I just have to move on from this funk. How old are you now? I'm 25. 25. So here's the thing, right now you have the benefit of being an age where it feels like you have all the time in the world.

Right? And the luxury of feeling like you have all the time in the world is that you feel like you have all the time in the world to waste on bad beliefs and bad ideas and insecurities. And I can guarantee you that people don't feel that when they're about to die. When people are about to die, they don't suddenly freak out about a possible rejection. That's not what's on their mind. What's on their mind is, I wish I was around to be rejected. I wish I was around to have the possibility of someone rejecting me, to have the possibility of feeling something and I'm not going to be here. And what a tragic, unbearable thought

that is. The luxury and I'm, you know, I'm like you Getty, I'm young enough to have the luxury of thinking I have time to waste. And it's a false luxury because the reality is A, none of us know how much time we have. And B, even if we have as much time as we think we have, it's not nearly as long as we think it is. And it goes so incredibly quickly. And that being the case, make no mistake, you will 10 years from now be 35 and saying, I wasted 10 years avoiding situations because of a guy that I made so important that I threw away a decade of my potential on him. What could be more tragic and frightening than that thought? Now extend it 20 years, now go to 45, look back, you've just wasted 20 years of your

life on one guy. He wasn't even there anymore, he doesn't even know he has that power. He's not even around to know he has that power. But guess what? You've wasted 20 years of your life on his rejection and thinking about that and allowing it to cripple you over the course of your life. You could keep extending this right the way through your life, but even by 45, this pain would be unbearable to know that you'd let someone control your life in that way.

The person that you hurt is yourself. Life is so unbearably short. The biggest waste of life is life wasted on these kinds of negative ideas that stop you doing things. So right now, I know that in your mind, you may be looking forward saying, you know, well, I could carry this belief around with me for a while and, you know, and hide away and not approach guys and not go for the next relationship because I'm scared of rejection. And Matt, that's really controlling relationship because I'm scared of rejection. And Matt, that's really controlling me and I'm a human being after all, this is controlling

me. And I say, okay, fair enough. That's one path you could take. Or you could say, you know what's going to be a really human moment is in 10 years when you feel unbelievable, unbearable, sickening regret because you gave up 10 years of potential. You know what I remind myself every time I go out, every time I go out and I don't talk to anyone and I don't approach someone, I don't, I don't put myself outside my comfort zone because I'm scared, I'm scared that I might approach a woman and she might reject me. I might talk to someone and be embarrassed because she doesn't want to know me, she doesn't want

to give me any time. I always remind myself every night I go out and do that. It's like I went out with this amazing superpower and didn't use it. And I don't mean that because I'm so great. I just mean that I'm alive, I'm well, I have a lot to offer somebody and every time I go out and I hold back because I'm afraid I'll get rejected, it's like I had this superpower that I'm just keeping locked away. I'm not even using. And that makes me really sad because I won't always have that superpower. There'll come a time where I don't have it anymore and I'll look back and I'll go look how many nights I wasted with this unbelievable weapon and I didn't even use it. I didn't even use it and I don't want that to happen

for you Getty and I don't think it needs to happen for you. You could, you have a decision to make. You can hold on to this idea that rejection is the worst thing that can happen to you. And you can hold on to it for a long time. I've seen, you know, you're the fortunate one. You're 25. I've got clients who are 40 years your senior, who come to me and they realize they've wasted so much time on those kinds of beliefs. You're lucky because you get to stop it in its tracks now.

But if you decide rejection is the scariest thing to you, you'll always avoid guys. If you decide that regret is the scariest thing to you, then you'll go out there and you'll talk to everybody and you'll have an amazing time doing it because you'll know no rejection could be as painful as the regret you will feel later on. Wow, that was really powerful.

I think I'm just going to start, you know, looking at my life a little bit different now because that was very helpful, Matthew. I really do appreciate that. You're very welcome. Listen, I'll tell you this, Getty. I'm just as afraid of rejection as you are. People think I'm not. You know, people, they think I'm not. They think I go out and I don't have these kinds of thoughts. I'm just as afraid of rejection as you are. But I fear regret more. I fear regret much more. Yeah, regret seems a lot scarier than rejection.

It does. Rejection is momentarily, but regret is lifetime. Yep, that's right. That's right. So get to go out there, have fun, small risks every day. That's all it is. Small risks every day and always remind yourself that you can sleep at night knowing you tried. But the thing that will keep you up at night is knowing that you didn't even put yourself out there. keep you up at night is knowing that you didn't even put yourself out there. Thank you so much for listening to the episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Before you go, make sure that you do this today. I promise you every week you are missing out by not doing what I'm about to say. I am sending a private email to a group of people who have registered for it every single Friday. The email is

called the three relationships and every email is packed with advice on how you can improve one of the three relationships that I believe determine the quality of your life. Your relationship with other people, your relationship with yourself and your relationship with life itself. It's a super valuable email. People really look forward to it. This is not the kind of email that you don't open. It's the kind of email you can't wait to see in your inbox every Friday. Go over to the3relationships.com to sign up for that email for free and I will see you in your inbox this Friday. Thanks for

listening everyone. I'll see you in the next episode. Be well and love life.