Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): 3 Compliments That Create Deep Attraction

Episode Date: November 3, 2023

There's some really interesting psychology about compliments: not all of them have the same effect.  You can give generic compliments, or you can give compliments that create real attraction and connection between the two of you. One of these compliments works for when you first message someone on an app... The 2nd one is great for when you are meeting someone in person... The 3rd one is for someone you already know and want to build more attraction with. This episode is super practical. Take a few minutes to listen, then make it a mission to use one of these compliments today. --- >>> Get 5 More Compliments That Build Serious Attraction. Tap Below to Download Your Free Guide... → http://www.SayThisToHim.com

It can feel a little much to walk up to someone and say, you're beautiful, right? It's a lot. Some people would like that. Some of you in the comments will say I would love if someone came up to me and said that, in which case I very much hope someone says that to you this week. Welcome everybody to the Love Life Podcast. I am Matthew Hussey, and this is a clip from the archives that I think is really going to help you today. Check it out and I'll speak to you at the end of the episode. Let's talk about compliments, shall we? What are the compliments that create attraction with someone? And not just that create attraction, but make us stand out in the process. How do we break through the noise? Well, I'm going to give you three principles for compliments today.

Number one, compliment the thing that people don't hear every day. I think, you know, when you see someone's dating app, the temptation is to go for the low-hanging fruit. Look for that one picture of them that's photoshopped and airbrushed where they're looking stunning in that really cool outfit and their eyes are glistening like two beautiful orbs in the light. And then we say, you're gorgeous. Wow, you have amazing eyes. That doesn't separate us. It might make someone feel good, but it's white noise if that's what they hear all the time. Look around the picture. Look what's going on in the edges. Look what's happening in the periphery. What book is on the table that they're reading that you could

compliment their choice of books? What are they doing in the picture? What skill set have they developed? Looking at these things will allow you to compliment things that they don't often get complimented on and thus you'll stand out more. The second principle of compliments, this one I suppose is great for when you meet people in person and you don't have a couple of minutes to think about what you want to say about someone's profile. Look for the indirect compliment. It can feel a little much to walk up to someone and say, you're beautiful. Right? It's a lot. Some people would like that. Some of you in the comments will say I would love if someone came up to me and said that, in which case I very much hope someone says that to you this week. But a lot of people feel like, oh, it's a lot of pressure when someone says that to me, or it's a lot of pressure to say that to someone, especially if it doesn't go well.

This is where the indirect compliment comes in. Compliment someone on a choice they've made, their shirt, their jacket, their shoes. You have great taste in shoes. I love those. That's a really cool bag. That, what you just ordered, sounds delicious. What a great order you just placed. When we don't compliment something that's genetic, something they were born with, and instead we compliment something slightly more external, it's a little easier. And by the way, it could even be a bit more meaningful because they made that choice. That's their taste. They decided on that. And lastly, when you get to know someone a little better, focus on complementing their traits, not just the outcomes they've reached in life. An outcome would be, you know, someone created a great business and you said, you know, what an amazing thing it is that you've created this amazing business or that you've achieved all of this.

And that's like complimenting the medal that someone won. I think it's far more profound to compliment the traits that won them life's medal. You know, they built this business and you say, wow, it must have taken so much perseverance and ambition and drive to get to this point. That's an amazing thing. Instead of complimenting someone on being great at a language or an instrument, you compliment the passion and the patience that it must have taken to get to that point of skill. When we compliment someone's outcomes, they feel admired. When we compliment the traits that got them those outcomes, they feel seen. And feeling seen is the key to deep connection

and attraction. If you haven't already, grab yourself a copy of the Momentum Texts program. In this program, I give you very practical things that you can do to move an early dating situation forward. Avoid messages that don't go anywhere. Avoid dates that never result in follow-up or situationships that never result in a commitment. This is the most practical early dating program you will find and it's super reasonable to get your hands on at $7. Go check it out at MomentumTexts.com.