Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): 3 Signs They're Not Serious About You

Episode Date: May 23, 2025

Can you relate to this . . . You’ve been dating someone for months and see them once or twice a week. You’ve gotten into a pretty good rhythm, but at the same time, things aren’t really moving forward either. You’re wondering: “Do they like me? I feel like they do, and yet, I don’t know whether this is going anywhere . . .” In this week’s brand-new video, I give you 3 specific things to look for when you want to know if someone’s serious (or headed in that direction). --- ►► Transform Your Relationship With Life Learn More About the Matthew Hussey Retreat at . . . → http://www.MHRetreat.com ►► Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → http://www.LoveLifeBook.com ►► Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free Now at. . .  → http://www.AskMH.com

So we have to stop asking whether someone likes us and start asking, do I see genuine progress? Welcome to the Love Life Podcast. It's me, Matthew Hussey. Enjoy this classic clip from our archives. And if you want to let me know what you think or how this podcast is helping you, don't forget to leave me a review on iTunes under the Love Life podcast. Enjoy. necessarily be able to put our finger on that show that someone isn't serious so that you cannot waste any more of your time on that person. Okay let's do this. The first subtle sign that somebody isn't serious is inconsistency in communication or inconsistency in energy. Let's start with communication. It may be that you'll have a two-day period where they're really active and then two weeks where you barely hear

from them. When someone is serious there tends to be a sense of them, they may be busy, they may have a lot going on, but there is the sense that they want you to know that they haven't fallen off the radar. There is the sense that they want you to know that they haven't fallen off the radar. There is the sense that they want you to know that they actually like you and that they're interested in seeing you again. When someone feels like they're very active in communication in one minute and then they fall off the radar the next, that usually is a sign that they're not serious about showing you that they want to be an ongoing person in your life and that they want progression which is a very important word progression now that inconsistency of communication also extends to

inconsistency in energy when you notice that there are quite significant or even drastic changes in someone's energy, that's often a sign that they're not serious. It's usually a sign that this person enjoys having an experience with you, but doesn't actually want to create something with you. So I'll give you an example. A very common thing I come across coaching people

is they'll talk to me about a date they went on where the person they were dating said very grandiose things. That person gushed a lot, told them how amazing they were, maybe told them that they haven't felt this way before, made them feel really, really special and warm in their glow. And then they didn't hear from them again for a week or two after that. Or it was really hard to get that person on another date.

It might be that a month later, after not seeing each other for a whole month, you get back together with that person for a date and all of a sudden you hear all of those same things again and you feel amazing again because you feel their light, you feel their attention. These are drastic changes in energy and they're usually reflective of someone who is enjoying the experience of very intense

emotions when it suits them but is only looking for that feeling. They're not looking for a relationship or something they have to actually invest in. And by the way this isn't me saying that when there's a burst of energy in the right direction and it feels intense, that that's a bad thing. But those bursts of energy tend to then represent a new level in the relationship and they don't go backwards. If you're constantly feeling like there's this kind of burst of forward momentum, this burst of passion and excitement and adulation and then all of a sudden it goes backwards, that's a bad sign. The second sign someone's not serious is if they're unwilling to project into

the future you only exist in the now. Now an example of this might be him talking about how great his brother is and you say your brother sounds amazing I can't wait to meet him at some point or I'd love to meet him at some point and he says yeah he's great then you know that there's a dismissal of that possibility because he doesn't see you doing that you only exist in the now if you were talking about a place that you wanted to visit like Morocco and he and he was saying, I really wanna go there too. And you say, oh my God, we should do it together. That would be so much fun. And he says, yeah.

So yeah, there's a bunch of places I wanna visit. Then you know again, there's a moment where he's made you feel uncomfortable about suggesting something in the future. By the way, you'll know this if someone has almost trained you to not talk about the future because you know that every time you do, he goes quiet or makes you feel uncomfortable. Now obviously I'm not saying that in week two of dating someone you should say,

I can't wait to meet your mum, that's going to freak someone out. But if you've been dating someone for some time, a series of months, and you still feel like you couldn't say something like that, then there's an elephant in the room that's not being acknowledged. The third sign someone isn't serious is if you get the sense that you're standing still. And you may have had this sense for a little while, maybe for months, that there's no real progression.

I speak to people regularly who say, I see them once a week, it's really nice, we have a great connection, but I just don't really know what we are and I don't know where it's going. And when I hear that, I almost get the sense that it's almost a bit too structured. You know, that I see them once a week.

Well, why do you only see them once a week? Why don't you see them twice a week? Why, why do you only see them once a week? Why don't you see them twice a week? Why isn't it you see them four times one week and two times the next and three times the next? And why is there this kind of pattern in this relationship where it never seems to move forward? It doesn't ever become more intense. There's not more of an integration in your lives.

That to me starts to become a giveaway that what's happened is there's this stagnated, solidified dynamic that never really shifts. So think of it like Groundhog dating, right? There's this just over and over and over again, this is our pattern. When you really like someone and when they've started to become a bigger part

of your life and you think there's a movie you really wanna see, what do you do? You go, you wanna see The Little Mermaid? You go, I wanna see it with that person. I don't wanna see it with anyone else, I wanna see it with them. We just talked about it last week and how much they love that film.

I wanna go see it together. You think like that. When you've got an event to go to, you think, I want them to come with me. There's not this sense that that's, oh oh they're one thing you do in your week. If you're honest with yourself, do you feel like you've been standing still for a while? And if you're really honest with yourself, is that standing still a big part of the reason why you don't feel comfortable asking where it's going? Because you haven't felt any progression in some time. Look, when any of us are questioning where something is going,

whether we should keep giving our time and energy to it, how much hope we should hold on to for what this thing is going to be, one of the questions that we end up centering our attention around is, do they like me? And we look for evidence that they do like us. And when people speak to me, they say, but Matthew, they're clearly doing things that show that they like me. And that's what's creating the confusion,

is they like me, but nothing more is happening. Do they like me is the wrong question to ask altogether. Because someone can like you and want to spend a weekend with you. Someone can like you and still wanna have sex with other people. Someone can like you and have no intention to have a real committed relationship.

Someone can like you and not be capable of having a committed strong relationship. Someone liking us may be a prerequisite for a relationship, but it is not an indicator of a forthcoming relationship. So we have to stop asking whether someone likes us and start asking, do I see genuine progress? And if we can't see progress, then we have to start valuing our time more than continuing to give it to someone who only likes us.

Thanks for listening everybody. And before you leave, if you are struggling with commitment right now because you feel like no one wants to commit or worse no one wants to commit to you and you always feel like the person before the person they end up with, I have something for you. It is called from casual to committed. It is a completely free training that gives you highly practical tried and tested advice for not only attracting the right people who are ready, but also doing the right things that make people commit to you. Go check it out right now at GetCommitment.com. Like I said, this is free, but it is incredibly valuable, incredibly helpful, and it will change

the way you date. That link again is GetCommitment.com. Go check it out now and I'll see you in the next episode of Love Life.