Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): How to Get More Serious Without Scaring Them Away

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

This week’s video is about moving in together. But you should watch it even if you’re not at that stage with someone, because it contains a truth that is essential to understand when moving from one stage of a relationship to the next. If there is someone in your life you plan on getting more serious with, this is for you. I felt this video was especially relevant to these times where the term “turbo relationships” is on the rise. A “turbo relationship” is a relationship that is moving unnaturally quickly because of the circumstances of this year – lockdown necessities, spending large chunks of time with each other, choosing one person instead of casually dating multiple people, and moving in together far earlier than we otherwise would. All of this puts pressure on the relationship that can be counterproductive to it going somewhere long term. If we want to build our relationships to last, it’s important they don’t burn out before they’ve really begun. This video will show you how to ramp up your relationship without ramping up the pressure. Enjoy! --- ►► Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free Now at. . . → http://www.AskMH.com ►► Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → http://www.LoveLifeBook.com ►► FREE Video Training: “Dating With Results” → http://www.DatingWithResults.com  

For me, I would much rather have lived with someone before I make the decision to marry them. Because who knows what they're like in that environment. I... I... Things change when you live with someone. Hey everybody, it's Matthew Hussey with the Love Life Podcast. I am excited to share this clip with you today. Let's get into it. So what was your question, Amber? I was wondering, I've been, my boyfriend and I have been together a little bit over the year and we're starting to think about, you know, moving in together and I was just wondering,

you know, when's too soon? Like I've always kind of wanted to wait until, you know, we were talking more about getting married and things like that. And I just, I just wanted to get your advice on like, is it too soon? Like how do you know you're ready to move in with someone? I think that's a very good and intelligent and important question. There are lots of people I feel move in too quickly. They do it in the throes of the passionate stage of the relationship and look who among us hasn't fallen in love with someone and immediately thought I just want to

move in with them right this second right now and then they are really glad two months later that they didn't because it would have been too quick and they would have possibly wrecked the whole thing. Now the opposite of that I think can be just as bad. If you for example, and people have different beliefs on this, I'll just throw mine out there. When I hear people say well I want to marry, I want to get married to someone before I move in with them. I always find that to be a very dangerous concept. For me, I would much rather have lived with someone before I make the decision to marry them, because who knows what they're like in that environment. I, I, things change when you live with someone. And everything to some extent is sped up and intensified

because you're around each other the entire time. So I think for you, you have to make your own decision about whether it's really important for you to wait till marriage to do it. But what I would say is somewhere between the crazy passionate phase where you feel irrational and making a decision to be with someone forever you should have a trial run at living with them and I

don't think that means necessarily going and taking out a mortgage together but it does mean going and renting a place together that you can just have the experience of it even if it was on the basis of doing it for a few months I think that a lot of the time moving in together is something that should take the form of a more, of something more casual than it really is. If you understand what I mean, I think I don't think we should introduce moving in together like shall we move in together now? I think it's terrifying for people and I think it puts too much pressure on if people say to each other, you know what?

Look, we really like each other or we love each other and we've had such an amazing time together and our relationship, it feels like is going somewhere. Shall we try it for a few months? You know, there's no black and white. You know, it's not like we're doing anything that we can't reverse. If it doesn't work out, then we'll change the situation. But why don't we try an apartment together for a few months and just see what happens? That, that to me is a very risk free way of doing it that allows people to take the next step without the pressure

of forever, which so many people throw themselves into. Does that make sense? Yes, it definitely does. That's a really good way to look at it. I haven't thought about that. Yeah, I think I feel like some of the most serious steps that you take in a relationship should be treated in a relaxed way. I always feel like the moment a woman starts, you know, saying, this is our first doormat together. Oh my god these are our first tea cups that we've ever had together. These are... as soon as she starts saying that about everything he's like oh my god it's happening I'm living with someone I'm never gonna be on my own again. He starts freaking out but if you don't go down that route instead you

just treat it in a relaxed way but allow it to happen both of you I think will be a lot happier. Okay awesome thank you that's really really good advice. Don't forget go watch the replay of the masterclass I just did on Heartbreak that disappears this Friday at midnight Pacific time you can watch it at lovelifereplay.com. I'll see you over there. Thank you so much for being here and I cannot wait to see what you think of this masterclass. you