Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): How To Like Yourself More Right Now

Episode Date: October 20, 2023

 It’s hard to find love when you don’t feel loveable yourself. When you know you’ve made a ton of mistakes. Or you’ve internalized the idea that you’re just not a likable person. It becomes a self-perpetuating cycle: “I don’t like myself, so why should anyone else like me?” Then we feel lonely, beat ourselves up, feel like a failure, and like ourselves even less than before. We retreat more and more into our shells and lose that “spark” that makes us attractive to someone else as a potential partner. This is exhausting. It’s unfair. And it doesn’t do justice to who you really are on the inside and everything you have to give to the world. It’s an overwhelming step to think about how to suddenly become supremely confident. So let’s do something more modest today. In this episode, I want to share a small thing you can start doing today to get back your self-esteem and begin to reclaim your core confidence... --- ►► Deep down, you know there’s something missing in your love life, your career, or your personal life. GOOD NEWS - I have a proven method to transform your life in just 6 short days with me → http://www.MatthewHusseyRetreat.com

Just the feeling that we're putting good into the world gives us more reasons to say I am worthwhile. I'm bringing good energy into this world. Hey everyone, it's Matthew Hussey with the Love Life Podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I think you're going to enjoy this clip. It's a classic from the archives. Check it out. And don't forget, if you can leave us a review on iTunes, it would mean the world. It helps us spread the word about this podcast. All right, let's get into the episode. Are you struggling to like yourself today? I've experienced that feeling of self-loathing, the feeling that you have made mistakes, that you have regrets, things that you consistently beat yourself up over, self-flagellate.

One of the practical ways to begin liking ourselves more, and I think this is important because it's not just some psychological shift, liking ourselves more. There is a kind of practical side of it, which is like literally doing push-ups for your confidence one of the ways to like ourselves more is to do acts of kindness for other people studies have shown that when people are given two sets of things to do one of them being self-serving and one of them being serving of others, the acts of kindness towards other people consistently increase people's levels of happiness more than the things that they do that are self-serving. We go through life, I think, believing the opposite of this. Certainly, we often act as if the opposite were true. We go through life doing things for ourselves, constantly indulging

our own problems, our own suffering. I heard it said recently by a, I think a monk, a guy that was on Sam Harris's podcast, Jameson, maybe we can put up his name here, but he talks about them as his me's, the moments where he becomes obsessed with what he needs, what he wants, what's wrong with his life, his me's. And I think we get obsessed with our me's. We think that by addressing our me's, that by addressing the concerns we have and the problems we have all the time, that that's what's gonna make us happier.

But what really does make us happy, what does make us like ourselves more, and something I think we've lost touch with is the moments of kindness the acts of kindness we do for other people because when we do something for someone else we feel valuable we feel like we're worth something our actions feel weighty especially when someone acknowledges that kindness especially when we see that it's actually lifted someone's day. You know, I've sent messages to people where their response has been overwhelming to me. You know, I've expressed gratitude for someone or let someone know what they mean to me. And

the reaction that they have feeds into my own self-worth because I realize, oh my, you know, I realize I'm undervaluing so often what my words mean to people or what my love means to people what my kindness means to people and that can also be true of a perfect stranger by the way it doesn't have to be someone you know and of course when we just do things that allow us to have a positive impact in the world even if we don't get some outstanding reaction because of course that's not the point just the feeling that we're putting good into the world gives us more reasons to say i am worthwhile i am you know i'm bringing good energy into this world and it takes us out of ourselves and all the things that we think are wrong with us some of you

may be watching this going oh my god i live my life doing stuff for other people and my responsibilities and all the ways I look after people and so on I understand that but I feel like there's a distinction between the the responsibilities we have you know the kind of day-to-day monotonous things that we must do and the things that we choose to do, the acts of kindness that we choose, because we really want to improve someone's day, or we really do feel a sense of empathy for what someone's going through. And we reach out to them and we help them. It could just be something small in your day. It doesn't have to be big.

But if right now you are suffering from indulging in the things that you believe are wrong with you, whether it's aesthetically, whether it's things to do with your health, whether it's things to do with your career not going the way you want it to go, or mistakes you've made, regrets you have about mistakes you've made, and you're finding yourself spending an awful lot of time beating yourself up for that. One of the most practical ways to like yourself more today is to do acts of kindness for other people. The state of your internal ecosystem is the quality of your life. It doesn't matter how well everything's going, whether you have a great partner, whether you have an amazing job, whether you're financially free, whether you have great family, loving friends. If your internal ecosystem is corrupted right now by negative beliefs, by insecurities, by all the ways you tell yourself you're not good

enough, ways you don't feel worthy, that poisons everything else. The quality of your life is the quality of this ecosystem in here. If you're enjoying this and you want to go deeper and you're like, this is the material I need. This is the content I need to start to really help me in my love life. You joining me on YouTube or Instagram or Facebook is just scratching the surface. I'm a coach and I like to actually take people through structured programs and things that can help them in a deeper way. And if you want to do that with me, the Love Life Club is where I do it. We have master classes, interviews with other experts, not just me, live sessions every month where I actually coach you

and answer questions live in real time. It's an incredible space to be. You also get an amazing community of people that are on the journey with you. There's a 14-day free trial, so it's risk-free. Come try it out. Get off of the sidelines of YouTube and come join us in something that can actually really move you forward in a structured way and get you the love that you're looking for this year. You can sign up to a free trial by going to join love life comm