Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): If You Want To INSTANTLY Heal Your Heart Break, Listen To This.

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

I’ll keep this short. If you’re experiencing any kind of pain right now from a “situation” or a relationship ending, this clip is a must-listen for you today. It could be the pain of having been ghosted . . . It could be the pain of someone you were seeing regularly going cold on you . . . Or it could be the terrible heartbreak of a long-term relationship falling apart when you didn’t want it to end. In this clip, my brother Stephen and I are not merely talking about how to get over your pain, but how to deal with it while you’re still in the middle of it—perhaps even in the worst phase, when it feels like it’ll never go away. --- Follow Matt @thematthewhussey Follow Stephen @stephenhhussey --- ►► Transform Your Relationship With Life in 6 Magical Days. Learn More About The Matthew Hussey Retreat at. . . . → http://www.MHRetreat.com

You're actually not going to feel like this forever. It can't be. It cannot be. There is just no way.. Welcome back to Love Life. Short episode for you today. I wanted to share a clip of a conversation that I had with my brother, Stephen, because it resonated with so many people who heard these two simple words that I share for getting over heartbreak. Check it out. When you first have the moment of a breakup, it's like you have the shock and all the tears and the moment where it happens, and it's kind of this shocking, traumatic moment. And then it's kind of like that bit in The Dark Knight where Bruce Wayne is thrown into that pit you know that that prison with the big circular prison and up somewhere is the light but you are

just stuck in this dark hole and you have no idea how you're going to climb out of it what's your initial thought on when you're faced with that kind of black hole you're in? What do you think people's, what's kind of your first instinct with your wisdom and experience now of when that moment happens? This terrible feeling you have right now about losing this person. They're the love of my life. I'm never going to get over this. I'm going to miss them like this forever When I see them with someone else I'm going to have a full breakdown

I'm never going to meet anyone like them again Emotions change They just don't stay the same And that much you can rely on You're actually not going to feel like this forever. It can't be. It cannot be. There is just no way. You are going to get better. And your emotions about this situation are going to change. Your feelings towards this person are going to change. They're not going to stay the same. Your feelings towards other people are going to change. They're not going to stay the same. Your feelings towards other people

are going to change. Someone else is going to come on your radar and they're going to be interesting. And you'll like something else about them or love something else about them. And so everything, it will all change. None of this is going to stay the way that it is right now. So those two words, if nothing else, if you're at the worst moment of your breakup, if nothing else, just remember emotions change. You're absolutely right. You have to have like a degree of faith and, and well, it's rational as well, but it's a rational understanding of this pain cannot, this isn't going to be my life people don't just stay in this shock forever but um i think it's so important as well that you engage in a procedure of emotional

uh for lack of a for less cliche word self-care like you have to start that you have to put yourself on the right path to not prolonging it. You know, you've got a wound and now you've got to start applying the right antiseptic, the right balms and ointments, wrap the wound. You kind of have to do the right things now. Do you have to go, OK, I'm going to start building the ladder of self-esteem again. I'm going to stop, turn self-hatred into self-love I'm going to start treating myself like someone I care about and if I was just looking at this person from the outside I would be like okay let's just get you out for a walk today let's get

you to go and have a chat to a friend who brings you a bit of joy or someone who you know, like makes you laugh a bit and just like gently, like do a phone call, do one phone call. And I think these things, if you just start that, that little upward spiral, you can, you know, things start to get a bit better each day. I agree. You know, the word gently is kind of interesting because there's certain parts of it you're just not going to outrun. Like when you're truly heartbroken, you're not just going to like gym your way out of that.

Do you know what I mean? You're not just going to nights with friends out your way out of that you're not gonna party through it until like yeah or even you know self-help your way out of it through you know it's listening to so many podcasts in a day or a week or whatever you those things are things that realign your focus. They build other muscles. We've talked before about it. If you imagine it's like one part of your body is injured. Let's say your heart, your heart is injured. So you're training other parts of your body. You want to keep doing that

because you don't want to wake up when you feel better. Being heartbroken is one problem, but you don't want to wake up in six months with six problems because you being heartbroken meant that you didn't do any, you didn't work any of the other muscles. You don't, if you injure your, your shoulder, you've got a problem, but you don't want to wake up six months from now with weak legs or a weak core or a bunch of problems that have come from eating badly or, you know, those things don't have to be problems alongside it. So it's like, sometimes I think we're so focused on trying to make the injured muscle feel better instead of being like, that thing's going to be injured for a minute. That's okay. You don't have to try to speed that up to an unnatural rate of healing because when we do that, typically we're lying to

ourselves in some way. We're telling ourselves everything's all right and making ourselves so absurdly busy that we have zero time to even think. But the moment you have downtime, the moment it gets to 11 o'clock at night and your head hits the pillow again, that stuff's all coming rushing back in anyway. At some point it catches up and you still have to go through the hellish part of it. You can make it, reduce it, but you're still going to go through the tough part. But you want to make sure that you accept that you have a problem, an issue. And by the way, it's not in a sense, it is a real problem, but it's also a real problem that's a real opportunity. It's a real opportunity for growth. It's a real opportunity for healing. It's a real opportunity

for self-care. It's a real opportunity to build your relationship with yourself, self-love. It's a real opportunity to show yourself that you can deal with very difficult things in life. It's a real opportunity to build your kind of toughness and your resilience and the invincibility that comes from knowing you can get over anything, which is going to make you really valuable to the next person. I'm more valuable to people because of my heartbreak. There is no question about it. I am more valuable because of heartbreak in my life. I would be less valuable in this conversation right now if I didn't have heartbreak. And anyone who has been through heartbreak, you may not be out there coaching tons of people or making videos, but if you're out,

if you've just got a friend or a family member or someone in your life who comes to you for help, you're going to be more helpful as a result of this heartbreak. It's going to make you a better, more useful person in the world. Your suffering will make you more useful in the world. So it's only a problem to the extent that it hurts. It's not a problem in the sense of your growth. But right now you have an issue, but you don't want to wake up with six more issues six months from now because you didn't take care of the other things. Accept that it's going to be, there's going to be a tough period. That's okay. All right, everyone, that's it for today. Before you go though, I have some big news. We have dates for the live retreat this October. It is going to be from the 9th to the 15th.

It's taking place in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. We are going to be spending six days together by the beach working on your greatest life challenges. Whatever you're trying to work on, deal with, get over, or create in your life. We are going to do it together for six days. I cannot wait to apply. Go to mhretreat.com and it is my sincerest hope that you and I get to spend those six days together this October. Outro Music