Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): If You've Ever Had Trust Issues In A Relationship, Listen To This...

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

When someone’s betrayed or hurt us—especially when we didn’t see it coming—it’s hard to avoid the lack of trust that latches on to us and shadows us into our next relationship. Is there an antidote to this? Is it possible to regain trust after heartbreak?   In this clip, I share an important message about how you choose to set healthy boundaries in a relationship when you've been burnt in the past. Check it out and make sure you don't let your demons define your relationship dynamics going forward.   Here for you,   Matthew x   --- Download my free guide and give your love life a kickstart today.  ►► FREE download: “3 Secrets To Love” → 3SecretsToLove.com

Your demons will define a radius for your boundaries that is completely unrealistic and stifling for your partner and doesn't come from a loving place. Welcome to the Love Life Podcast. I'm excited about this clip today. If you've ever had trust issues in your relationship, I want you to listen to this quick clip to learn how to communicate your boundaries, but without letting your demons from your past get the better of you. I hope you find this useful. Don't let your demons define your boundaries. Let your boundaries be defined by your logic. When we have trust issues, we tend to think in very black and white terms.

We think that there might be danger in a certain area. So we take that entire area and we say to the person, that's off limits. Let's say it's your partner hanging out with a person of the opposite sex. In your mind, there's some danger there, right? Your demons there suddenly start screaming danger. But in essence, the real nuanced truth of what you're worried about is what if they're in this situation and the person I'm with happens to find this other person attractive, and this other person finds my person attractive, and now there's some undercurrent of flirtation. There's something going on there,

some unspoken energy that the two of them are feeding off of that ultimately is disrespectful of my relationship with my person, That ultimately is a betrayal of what we have and of me. That's the part we're afraid of. It's nuanced. So the role that we've created is one that is incredibly stifling, one that makes the person we're with feel boxed in and can lead them to catastrophic thinking about the relationship. Now they're thinking to themselves, so because of this relationship, I now can never go and be in the same room or do anything with a member of the opposite sex. What does that mean for my life? Now what happens is this person

starts assessing the relationship through that lens. And it's not actually a lens that's fair to you because the truth is the more loving part of you realizes that this is a nuanced issue. Your demons don't. Your demons will define a radius for your boundaries that is completely unrealistic and stifling for your partner and doesn't come from a loving place. A key thing to do with yourself here is ask, what part of this situation am I actually uncomfortable with? When it really comes down to it, we have to get honest with ourselves. Well, I'm uncomfortable if these two people have had a romantic relationship in the past. Okay, then we talk about that. Or I'm uncomfortable if my partner is giving an energy to this person that they wouldn't give if I was

in the room. Okay, great. That's a conversation to have with your partner. But these are all interesting things to communicate. And the way that your partner reacts to these kinds of things will tell you a lot about the strength of your relationship. Do they have a loving, compassionate response? Do they have an incredibly grounded and reassuring response where they understand what you feel and also contribute to healing that part of you that is scared of that? Or do they agitate it and make it worse? You learn about your relationship through that kind of communication but you don't learn a lot when it's binary. You can't do this. There is no circumstance in which this is okay. At that point the communication breaks down and it begins

to erode the relationship's future. I hope you enjoyed that episode, everyone. Don't forget, go over to askmh.com to join an entire community of amazing women who are working on their confidence, not overthinking and just feeling amazing in their own skin, you can join that community. And it's a beautiful place to be by going to askmh.com and be part of my exclusive coaching experience. I'll see you there. Outro Music