Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): Just Broke Up? This Conversation Will Give You the Closure You Need

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

A huge number of relationships that end, should end. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But how do we know if ‘ours’ should have ended. We leave with a giant question mark: “Did I just lose the person I was supposed to be with?” ⠀ That lack of closure is a horrible feeling that eats away at us. We don’t always get perfect closure. But there is a way of being proactive about getting peace of mind if you feel like you have someone who is worth fighting for. ⠀ It’s through a simple conversation, and I tell you how to have it in this video. ⠀ And here’s the good news - whatever happens, you and I are going to move into this next chapter of our lives stronger. (Massive thanks to @rayna.greenberg, @ashhess and the @girlsgottaeatpodcast for making this conversation possible!)

So I can't make you say yes to trying this again, but I can tell you what I'm willing to do and What I would love to do to make this work Hey everyone, it's Matthew here. Have you ever had a breakup so painful that you feel like you've just lost the one person you were supposed to be with? If that feels like you, this clip is going to help. I spoke to the Girls Gotta Eat podcast about getting over heartbreak when it feels like you never will. One of the things that really freaks people out in a breakup is one of the reasons they're looking for closure is, is there anything I can still do? Like I could fix this. I could fix this. I need them back.

So there's that element to it. And I think what people need is to be able to sleep at night. And there are productive conversations you can have with someone that will allow you to sleep at night. For example, you saying to the person that's just broken up with you very calmly and in a neutral way, I care about you deeply and I love you deeply. And I believe that I'm willing to give to this relationship on a level that is irreplaceable. And I know that there are things that you must wish were different about this relationship or you wouldn't be ending it. I'm prepared to do everything in my power to work

on things that I need to work on. If there is anything that is genuinely falls into my lap that I need to work on, I am willing to do that work because this relationship matters to me. If you want to make this work and you care about me and love me on the level that I do you, I trust that you'll give us a shot based on that. But if you genuinely don't want to fight for this or don't even want to allow me to fight for this, then you must be right. This must be the wrong relationship. So I can't make you say yes to trying this again but i can tell you what i'm willing to do and what i would love to do to make this work and other than that i'm gonna have to i'll be moving on unless you tell me otherwise i think that's totally fair

and it sounds confident because people like let's be real here people break up they get back together they get married they're together forever it happens you know it's not i don't totally believe once it's called a breakup because it's broken you know like i i mean i own the book whatever but like i just think sometimes people don't have the tools to express their needs and things like that and a lot of times it is totally over forever but when you still have a lot of love for somebody and there's work that could be done i think that conversation is really important and what keeps people up at night is the idea that well what if that is the question could i have done if i should have done something well

you tell me what it is because i'm willing to fight for this and you i i would love to know but if you don't want to fight for us i can't do any that then i can't help us but to me that's a very confident way of saying that i think people are very afraid to say that everybody is you know i i said to somebody once i'll change everything about myself to be with you for one more minute um and that was somebody i was engaged to but um i think just in general the way that you phrased it is very confident and there's no shame in saying hey i want to work on this and i work on me. If you really don't think that that's the case, then you know, I'm, I'm fine to walk away too. And that

sounds like you still hold the power, even though you're being super vulnerable. And then just to tie it back in, I think you walk into that conversation knowing that the person could say there's nothing you can do. You have to. And then, then, but it's like, then you get to sleep at night. But that's the purpose. The purpose isn't getting them back. The purpose is sleep. Is to sleep at night. Yeah.

Hey everyone, before you leave here today, don't forget to check out our early bird special on the virtual retreat. You can get an early bird ticket by going to mhvirtualretreat.com.