Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): Listen To This BEFORE Sleeping With Them...

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

In this killer clip with Matt and Ed Mylett, you'll learn: • The #1 question you should ask yourself before you sleep together • Why you should never decide to sleep with someone just because you’re afraid someone else will beat you to it • What a GOOD reason to jump into bed with someone looks like • How to gauge someone’s intentions • Why owning your actions is sexy --- Follow Matt @thematthewhussey Follow Stephen @stephenhhussey ---  Email us! You can get in touch with the show and give your feedback/thoughts at [e-mail] --- FREE download: “9 Texts No Man Can Resist” http://www.9texts.com FREE download: “5 Compliments to Get Him Addicted to You” http://www.SayThisToHim.com  

Do you ever struggle with the age-old question of when to sleep with someone new? Can you move too quickly? Or what if you want to take it slow, but if you take it too slow, are you at risk of them turning their attention elsewhere, especially in this world where people feel like they have a buffet of options? And what if you sleep with them really early on, like a first or second date? Is there a different way you need to handle things? How do you set the pace of it after that and the conversation might be a bit awkward after we talk about that in this very cool clip well i don't talk about it i am stephen hussey matthew and the awesome ed my let talk

about it and you can check out the ed my let show that's ed's podcast go and have a look at that and ed is on instagram as well just Just look for Ed Mylett. He's got awesome stuff. Also, don't forget, you can go and download our free guide at 9text.com. This is going to give you 9 texts that you can use in various stages. There's some conversation starters. There's early dating ones. There's flirty ones.

There's one when you want to turn up the heat a bit or add some connection or fun or playfulness. Go and check them out at 9text.comcom all right over to matt and ed what advice i'm curious or do you not give to a woman about sleeping with somebody that first date when it comes up because i think one of the other things that's happened if i'm being real about these dating apps is that process has also been sped up because I think these men are like a lot of men who are out there like well if you don't someone else will I'm I'm swiping as well do you have any advice specifically on that topic well firstly the I if I don't someone else will sleep with him argument is a race to the bottom so that that's definitely not a good reason to jump into bed with someone a good reason

to jump in bed with someone is I like you a lot I'm having a lot of fun with you I feel comfortable with you I feel respected by you and I think this would be an enjoyable thing to do I Have I avoid any kind of a rule that says when someone should do something But there are some things that people should bear in mind firstly know yourself Self-awareness is key in intimacy if you know that sleeping with someone right now, if it doesn't go anywhere, is going to make you feel used and is going to in some way make you feel negatively, you're going to beat yourself up, then wait. Because there's nothing sexy about someone who jumps straight to frustration, anger or shame after intimacy you know like i i always say to

people in general don't the whole oh my god did we do that last night i was so drunk that's for college kids be a be a grown-up like if you did it own it right that was fun right and if by the way that was a little fast for you and he says hey you want to get together again tonight yeah but in all honesty that was a little fast for me last night had the best time with you but that was probably a little faster than yeah i'd normally be going and let's take some time to get to know each other why don't we go to lunch today wonderful you know so it's there's own it own what you do yes because when Why don't we go to lunch today? You know, so it's, there's own it, own what you do. Yes. Because when you don't own it, it's like, can I add to that for a second?

For those of you that do have a moral or ethical stance, religious stance about that, not only should you not violate your own morals, ethics, or religious beliefs in order to accommodate somebody else because you regret that, but one of the most unattractive things you could possibly do is not act in congruence with who you are. That's right. Then there's a, then there's a lack of, it's ironic, but even if you did do that, there's a lack of attractiveness to you now that I know you easily violate who you believe you are. Now I don't really know who you are. So if you have that stance where that's not something you would do, some of you even going to wait till you're married.

And I know that that's not the vast majority of the audience but that's a that's certainly a portion of my audience and I would just say to you that if that's the case then you need to be upfront and transparent about that from the very beginning so that person knows what you live by correct that's why owning it is so important because it says I didn't do this last night because it was a mistake or I was so easy I was so easily yeah deviated from my values or what I am, I did it because I wanted to. But if tonight I don't want to, I'm gonna own that too.

The argument for waiting, if anything, is the I'm gonna, not from an ethical standpoint, but from a personal standpoint, from a practical standpoint, is there might be certain people where I want to see if there's a real connection and gauge intentions a little bit first, which doesn't matter if, again, if you're not going to feel bad at the end of this it doesn't make it the wrong thing to do but you might say with certain people i'm going to gauge someone's intentions a little bit more to see if they're actually serious about taking something forward or if they're even

seriously open to a relationship right now yeah i'm going to give it a minute to figure that part out very good and and the argument is sometimes made when I say things like this you know oh well women should you know like feel just as free to sleep with a guy quickly or whatever of course but I would actually as as I've got older it also I I know I'm different in the sense that I think you know sex means different things to us, sometimes at different stages of our lives. And what we might do in a much more cavalier way at one stage of our lives, sometimes we get to another stage where we go, you know what?

I don't need this thing with someone I barely know, but it's more fun if I give it a minute. It's more fun if I, you know, allow this to play out and create you know have more story that takes place before that moment yeah so that's something i would say to men and women there's a kind of stereotype that it's just men want to jump in bed quickly and women don't or whatever but i would say the same to men sometimes i'm like with guys i'm like if you really like this person give it a minute you don't have to rush into like trying to take someone home tonight or whatever. If you really like this person, get to know them a little bit.

What's up, guys? I wanted to take a brief moment to let you know that I have a free guide that can help you in your dating life right now. It's called the nine texts and it gives you nine messages that you can send to somebody to create more attraction today. Go check them out at ninetext.com. It's free and you can be reading them in the next 60 seconds.