Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): Mindset Shifts for When You Think “They’re Out Of My League”

Episode Date: October 28, 2022

Ever notice how you completely fall apart when you try to speak to that guy you’re really attracted to? It’s like with your best friends you can be effortlessly funny, talkative, and smart, then suddenly you’re talking to this guy and your brain turns to mush. Then begins the negative self-talk: “I’m not pretty enough,” “I have nothing interesting to say,” “He’s not going to like me.” It’s like you instantly lose all of your game. You go into “impress” mode. You over-analyze everything you say. You get in your head. Instead of just having fun in the moment, you start playing it cautious, like you’re in a game of chess and the stakes are life and death. If you want to finally stop putting guys on a pedestal and instill new empowering beliefs that will make you bring your best to the table (no matter who you’re talking to) listen to this clip before you do anything else... --- ►► FREE download: “9 Texts to Get Any Man” → http://www.9texts.com ►► FREE download: “5 Compliments to Get Him Addicted to You” → http://www.SayThisToHim.com

You cannot have a valuable relationship where one person sees the value in this person and this person's like, I'm not really sure. Welcome back to the Love Life Podcast. Matthew Hussey here. Another mini episode today. If you've ever noticed that you completely fall apart when you try and speak to the person you're really attracted to, this clip is going to help. I share three things that you need to remember if you feel intimidated by someone you like and how to keep your confidence in this situation. Enjoy. Growing up, I was always intimidated by people that I perceived to be beautiful. I would think I didn't match up, I would put them on a pedestal and around them any sense of charisma or wit would simply fade and I would just become this blob of grey matter

trying to blend into the wall. There was a moment recently where Coco Gough, the youngest player to have ever qualified for Wimbledon, who's 15 years old, in her opening match, she played her hero, Venus Williams, beat Venus Williams. And then in the post-match interview was asked, how did you keep your composure? And she said, you know, it was the biggest court I'd ever played on. But I had to keep reminding myself that the lines on the court were the same size. Translation it's still tennis. I am still there to play the game I play every single day in practice simply because it's a bigger audience watching or it's more of a legend that i'm playing doesn't change that my job is to show up and play my game the same is true of people i don't care who someone is or what you think they have or how handsome you think that guy is or what he's achieved or how intelligent you perceive him to be, that is still just a person.

And your job is to show up and play your normal game, the game you have been learning your entire life, which is just to do the most authentic version of you. So here are three things I want you to remember if you feel yourself getting intimidated by somebody else that you're attracted to. Number one, don't play the one-on-one comparison game, looking at them going,

oh no, their eyes are better than mine, they've got more symmetry in their face than I have. When we compare one part of us to another, we're completely misunderstanding how attraction actually works we don't fall in love with a feature we fall in love with a package what someone represents as a whole that brings me on to number two what package do you represent as a whole you've got to represent more than a feature I've heard it said about companies that a brand is

a promise in other words a brand is more than a product a brand is a promise of what integrity that company has what character that company has what its ethos is what it stands for what the level of service is that's the promise and when we go into dating we our brand is a promise and it's a promise to be something far more interesting than one feature It's a package a style a brand that cannot simply be replicated by somebody else no matter how physically beautiful they are and number three Recognize that anyone who does not see your value cannot be valuable to you now I don't mean they don't have value in their own right as a person. I simply mean when we're looking for love, when we're looking for real

connection, real relationship, and you imagine your dream love, it's two people who uniquely see each other's value, appreciate what is special about the other and fall in love with that. You cannot have a valuable relationship where one person sees the value in this person and this person's like, well, I'm not really sure. That's not what we're looking for. So if you walk up to someone today that you think is attractive and you bring yourself to the table and they don't recognize the value in you, then you have lost nothing. That person has no value for you in the dating pool and that alone should rid you of any level of intimidation you previously thought they had. So if you want to stop being intimidated by people and actually start going out there and making a move, being courageous,

doing the brave thing of speaking to someone, you might want some practical ways of how to actually do that. I have a free chapter from my program, How to Talk to Men, which is all about how to flirt. And it's going to give you the practical. This video has been about the confidence. That free chapter is about having the competence to actually do it. So go to getthefreechapter.com, download your free chapter right now, and I will see you there. Bye.