Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): What You Need to Do When You Meet Someone You Like

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

Have you ever met someone you really liked and spent weeks terrified you were going to blow it?  You’d analyze every message they sent with your friends. You’d worry when they went silent for several hours, constantly checking your phone, looking for signs of hope.  Suddenly, you become a person you weren’t before: needy, anxious, possessive—and you can feel that energy making you more and more helpless.  I know what this is like, and trust me: if you ever want to build a great relationship without playing games, you need to break out of this mindset fast.  Here’s how you change it...  --- ►► Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free Now at. . . → http://www.AskMH.com ►► Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → http://www.LoveLifeBook.com ►► FREE Video Training: “Dating With Results” → http://www.DatingWithResults.com

What if that takes them away from me? You know, that job opportunity they've got, that exciting thing that's good for them. We're afraid to encourage it because we want to keep things safe. We don't want to lose them. This is a good thing. hey everybody it's Matthew Hussey with the love life podcast I am excited to share this clip with you today let's get into it I think we have a slight problem right now of a scarcity mindset. I read these comments from people talking about their level of disillusionment, feelings that even if they did leave the house to go and meet people, you know, there's no good people out there anyway, or living in this place of either numbness or fear, this sense that

nothing good is going to happen. There's a side effect to this scarcity. Even when we meet someone we like, that's the crazy part. You would think that, you know, this scarcity is just about never meeting anyone you like, but it's actually worse than that. Because now I feel like when people do meet someone they like, they can't even enjoy it because they're so afraid it's gonna go away. And if it does go away, I could spend another year or years waiting for the next great thing to come along because there's so few of them out there.

People aren't even enjoying the thing when it's in front of them because they're terrified. We get these feelings of desperation that we don't want it to go away. We don't want this person to now leave us or get unattracted to us. So we're now trying to say everything right and we're trying to make sure nothing goes wrong with it. We start to worry about, you know, controlling what they're doing. Where are they right now? Who are they with? Could they be with someone else?

Should I be okay with them going on that boys night or that weekend trip? We get competitive with that person because our egos can't take it. We're afraid of a good thing happening for them because what if that takes them away from me? You know, that job opportunity they've got, that exciting thing that's good for them. We're afraid to encourage it because we want to keep things safe. We don't want to lose them. This is a good thing. I have learned that it's precisely when the stakes are the highest

that we have to be prepared to let go. Letting go doesn't count when the stakes are low, but when the stakes are high, when it feels important, when you're more in love than you've ever been, when you like someone more than anyone you've liked in a really long time. It feels counterintuitive because when you find someone that you're like, God, this is the best person I've ever met. This is, you know, this feels like it could be the thing. It feels like that's the one we have to hang on to tightly. But it's precisely when the stakes are the highest that we have to be prepared to let go. Not trying.

I'm not talking about not trying. I'm talking about trying, but from a place of strength and confidence. Having the confidence to encourage space, having the confidence to say you should go and do that thing. That job sounds like an amazing opportunity. You should take it. You may be asking, how do you let go when something's that important to me? How do I have that faith? How do I let go? The faith, for me at least, comes from knowing that you have a world of your own, that you have a center of gravity that lives with you, not with the relationship, not with the

person, but with you. That you are fulfilled and happy and excited about life, independent of this person, that your life will not only survive, but thrive. That is where your power comes from. If you want to continue the conversation with me, if you want to ask me a question about what you've learned today. There is a place that you can do that right now. Go on over to askmh.com and try Matthew AI. You'll literally be able to text or call me. You'll hear my voice answering your question and you can try it out completely free. And if you enjoy it, take advantage of our Black Friday offering

where it is 50% off your first month of unlimited Matthew AI. So make sure you take advantage of that while it's available. You can literally have me coaching you any time you want, as much as you want. The link again is askmh.com. Thank you so much for watching, and I'll see you soon.