Love Life with Matthew Hussey - (Rewind): When They Say "I Need Time," You Say This...

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

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You know, trying to bring our best to someone who's also trying to bring their best to us as we both grow and as we both change over the course of a years or longer or lifetime, that's not easy. Hey everyone, it's Matthew Hussey with the Love Life Podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I think you're going to enjoy this clip. It's a classic from the archives. Check it out. And don't forget, if you can leave us a review on iTunes, it would mean the world. It helps us spread the word about this podcast. All right, let's get into the episode. I just want to know, what's the best response when someone says, I need to take a few days or several days?

This was in a what? In an argument? No, prior to that, I guess two days ago, I had talked to him about maybe visiting, but he was kind of inebriated. Where is he he's in New York are you like dating you're in a relationship or what okay so you're not exclusive not sure like I don't want to push the conversation when he's the one that said let me take a few days several days whatever so I don't know what my next step is okay but what did you say what what was it you said that made him take the break was it you said I want to come visit you or was it that you said I want a relationship um the business part okay so then you so then now you leave the guy and you never worry about him ever again. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no.

Because we're not even talking about, we're not even talking about you asking him for exclusivity. You're saying you'll fly from LA to New York to see him. And he's's saying I need a few days. On Thursday he was like super excited about it, of course you should read between the lines, of course I want to see you, blah blah blah. Again drunk, so I said you know if you are serious we can talk about this the next day. And then when you tried to talk about it the next day he said I need a few days it's good to say these things out loud right because that shouldn't be the hard part like it really shouldn't that shouldn't be the hard part. Like it really shouldn't. That shouldn't be the hard part. Whether someone wants to see you, that's not supposed to be the difficult part. I'm not the person who thinks that relationships should be easy, right? I think that's kind of a

weird, to me, I don't know what easy is right I relationships are not easy we're you know trying to bring our best to someone who's also trying to bring their best to us as we both grow and as we both change over the course of a years or longer or lifetime there's that's not easy right but we do it not because it's easy but because it's meaningful because it's easy, but because it's meaningful, because it's rewarding, because we want to bring our best to the table. I don't think relationships are easy, but the part where you say, I want to see you, and he says, yeah, I want to see you.

That should be fucking easy. And the part where you say, do you want to just do this like you and me just you know like have a relationship and he says obviously i really like you that part should be easy spending a lifetime doing your best to communicate with each other and not hurt each other and be wonderful people for each other and recommit every year, every day, every minute, give your all, that part's hard. Us saying yes to each other, that shouldn't be hard. So know which part's supposed to be hard, right? Because you can waste a lifetime thinking that this part should be hard when this is the part that's supposed to be easy. Him wanting to see you,

that's supposed to be easy. And the fact that like you've got someone who's not sure whether they want you to come and see them when you're offering to fly across the country, it's a joke. Like I, I, I, this, I'm not saying he's a bad guy but he's awful for you if you haven't already we have a brand new free guide on how to communicate your standards and boundaries it is at boldstandards.com the whole idea of this guide is to help teach people the language of communicating standards because so many of us, we want to have high standards, but then we get scared in the moment to actually communicate them. This guide shows you what they look like in practice with specific things you can say. Check it out for free at boldstandards.com.