Love Life with Matthew Hussey - See Him as a Person, Not a Prize

Episode Date: May 11, 2016

Nobody – woman or man – appreciates being objectified. Whether you are being judged on the size of your breasts or your bank account, it is offensive because you have so much more to offer the world than something so superficial. But what if you are the person doing the objectifying? This behavior is also dangerous for you. It pretty much guarantees that you’ll never meet the kind of men you’d actually like to attract. I explain why, and give you one simple trick that will help you connect with the real person you want most. 

Hello everybody, this is Matthew Hussey with Love Life. I have an incredible show for you today, but I want to make sure you listen right to the end because I'm going to give you a special gift, a foolproof way to become the most intriguing woman in any man's life, and you're not going to want to miss it. I'm seeing a lot in the media right now about the objectification of women in particular. The feminist groups coming out and saying that the culture that men have towards women of seeing them as objects and dehumanizing them is disgusting and leads to the bad treatment of women. Now, of course, I think this happens to some extent in both directions, but I can absolutely see the point of it being strongly

a problem for women. But of course, men face the same thing in certain cases, women objectifying them for different reasons. I always think that it's interesting. Women can claim more than guys, I think it's fair to say, the objectification in terms of their bodies or how pretty they are. I think men have a fair case in claiming objectification based on their status, their power, their money, things that they've achieved. Very often, those are the things that they're objectified for. So let's take a step back for a moment because I want to introduce a very human element to this. I honestly think that one of the reasons we get scared socially is because we objectify people. You know, the guy, he walks into a bar and he sees a woman as a nine, you know, she's an eight or she's a nine. And immediately he's objectified her.

And he's done more than that. He's made her the prize. He's made her an object of a challenge, of desire that she is to be one. Now, of course, as soon as you make someone the prize like that, you put them on a certain pedestal that makes you start to treat them differently for better or worse. Sometimes it turns certain guys into, um, into servile, uh, creeps who want to do anything to impress her or please her. Uh, for other guys, it turns them into nasty people. They start to, uh, call her names. They start to, uh, decide that she's, uh, horrible. She's a menace to men. She's a bitch is what a lot of guys would say. They start to objectify her in that way and dehumanize her by giving her this one-sided personality that is based solely on the fact that they think she's very difficult to talk to. Now, the key to overcoming this is to humanize someone, to start to see them for who they really are. This is another human being. She has a family, people that care about her, a brother that loves her and aunt that can't really like. And when she goes home at night, she looks at it in the mirror and hopes that it's changed enough that she's now happy with it, but she's still not.

She's in love with a certain movie. She has a piece of music that makes her cry when she listens to it. She has her lonely moments as well as her moments of feeling popular. She's a real person. And as soon as you can start to see her as a real person, the fear of her will begin to vanish. Because we start to see someone for the unique and complex human being, the ball of positive attributes and negative attributes of insecurities and self-assurances that they really are. Instead of this unobtainable prize that immediately turns them into something less than human and less to be desired. As soon as we can start to humanize each other, we actually have a shot at overcoming our social anxiety and our fear of rejection. And we will be more flattering to other people. We'll be more connected to them because we'll realize that we're human beings in the same room as each other, not one person who is trying to get something and the other person

who is the prize. And ultimately that's going to make us more likable. And ladies, you can back me up on this because I know what is it you really love in a guy. You love the guy that comes up to you with an actual interest in who you are, in what you're all about, in what your hopes are, your dreams are, in what excites you, what fascinates you, what annoys you. You like the guy who actually takes a genuine interest in you and hasn't already decided that he's in love with you because of the pretty dress you wore tonight or because you showed a little more skin than normal. Attention is nice, but curiosity is much better. So thank you, my friends. I will see you in the next episode of Love Life. If you're

not on my Facebook right now, go to Coach Matthew Hussey. I will see you there. Now, before I go, I want to give you that gift I promised you. I've put together a free guide called Nine Magic Texts No Man Can Resist. Just copy and paste any of the nine texts and you'll be able to be the most intriguing woman in his life, get him to finally ask you out, reignite his interest if things cool down, and a lot more. But be warned, these texts are so powerful he won't be able to stop thinking about you. So if you're okay with that, get your free guide now by going to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash texts.