Love Life with Matthew Hussey - The Sexiest Thing You Can Do in Three Minutes is…

Episode Date: June 10, 2016

How should you communicate with a guy you like in between dates? If you think texting is the only answer, then this episode is for you. I’m going to reveal a surprisingly simple – yet incredibly sexy – way to keep in touch that builds way more connection than sending emojis. Do this and he’ll be dying to take you out again!

Hi, I'm Matthew Hussey. Welcome to Love Life. It's a privilege to be able to offer you bite-sized bits of advice on this podcast that you can use every day. But what if you're ready for a big transformation and you want to do it now? You want to reinvent your career or finally find lasting love or break free from the self-doubt that's holding you back from living the abundant life you were meant to live. If you're saying, yes, Matt, that's me, I'm going to tell you exactly how to do just that at the end of today's show. So make sure you stay tuned. First, let's get to today's episode. Let's talk for a moment about the in-between phases in dating. In other words, when you're going on dates with someone, how does that communication look between the dates? Many people obviously resort

to texting. I think that's what we're used to these days is we're used to texting each other relentlessly until we see each other again. The problem with that is texting doesn't really create real connection. It can create banter. It can allow us to flirt a little bit, allow us to make each other laugh, but it doesn't create nearly the same connection as being in person or being on the phone. Now, we don't call each other enough these days. We resort to texting because it's easy. And then of course, when we get tired of texting, we want to see each other and we go to the other end of the spectrum in want to see each other, and we go to the other end of the spectrum in order to see each other. Then we stop seeing each other, you know, we come

off the date, and we go back to texting. I want to argue for the phone call right now, and how you should do it. I am a big proponent of the three-minute phone call. Why is that? Well look, here's how it looks. You call someone up, you're going about your business and you say to them, hey, how's it going? And they say, hey, you go, I just wanted to give you a quick call and see what you're up to. I'm actually, and you could say whatever you're doing. I'm actually in between meetings right now. I'm just running to my next meeting, but I just wanted to see how you were doing. What are you up to? Anything fun? And then let them tell you, let them talk for a little bit. And then at the end of it, when you've told, they'll ask you what's going on in your day. You always say, well, I'm doing this

meeting. And then actually tonight I'm going to this really cool thing. Uh, I can't wait. I'm really excited. I'm going with my girlfriends, whatever you say. And then at the end of that, you'll say, anyway, I have to run. Um, it's so good to hear your voice. Um, I, uh, you know, I just, uh, I just, I didn't have much time, but I wanted to good to hear your voice. I, you know, I just, I just, I didn't have much time, but I wanted to call and hear your voice. And then you leave. Now, let me just break down the structure of this call really quickly. The first thing you do is you ask them, hey, what's going, you know, how are you? What's happening? Then you quickly jump to what you're doing right now. I'm just doing this. In other words, you established that you haven't got a lot of time. You know, I'm just running around right

now. I'm just between meetings, but I just wanted to say, I wanted to give you a call and say hi. Right? So you don't have to give like a specific reason. I was calling because I wanted to find out about blah, blah, blah. No, I was just calling to say hi. So then you remove any awkwardness because if you don't say that, you might leave the other person on the other end wondering, oh, did they call me for a reason out of the blue? Did they call me just to chat? You're basically telling them, no, no, no, I called you just to say hi. So then they become at ease and they go, oh, well, hi. And you say, so what have you been up to? And they tell you, and then they ask you and you tell them. And then literally at the end of two or three minutes, you can say to them, anyway, I have to go. I have to run, but I just, I really wanted to hear your voice. And then you leave.

Now, this is beautiful because just as they may be asking the question, does this person have too much time on their hands or, you know, am I going to be on this phone call for a long time or whatever? You may have initiated, but you're also the one who's leaving. And after not very long, but you leave with a real genuine sense of sweetness because you say, anyway, I have to go. I just wanted to hear your voice. And that's where you really build that connection because someone realizes you're vulnerable, you know, vulnerable in a good way. You're vulnerable enough to give them a compliment and to let them way. You're vulnerable enough to give them a compliment and to let them know that you like them enough to think about them randomly in the middle

of your day. And that you put in that little bit of effort to try, that little bit of effort to go and do something proactively instead of waiting for him all the time. It's actually incredibly sexy when a woman does this in small doses. You don't want to be going out there chasing him relentlessly and over-investing when he's not investing in you. But that little bit of effort, just every now and again, just 1%, 1% can actually feel really good, can actually make him feel very special and see you as the sort of woman who gives value instead of just taking it. So the three-minute phone call, stop texting all the time. Don't be afraid to do this.

You won't seem needy or desperate. You'll actually seem incredibly confident because you had the guts to give him that quick call and do it, but in a non-desperate and non-needy way. Thank you, my friends. I'll see you on Facebook. Come join me there now. If you're online now and you're not on my Facebook, go there right now. It's the only way I have of keeping you up to date with everything I'm doing all the time so that you don't miss out on any of the content that I put

out there. It's facebook.com forward slash coach Matthew Hussey. I will see you there. now if you said earlier yes matt i'm ready for a big life transformation now then i want to invite you to apply for my retreat program now spots are limited but if you're accepted onto the program i'll lead you through a series of powerful coaching sessions and enlightening exercises that will remove every barrier standing in between you and the extraordinary life you deserve. You'll walk away with a practical set of tools to achieve the career, love, balance, and fulfillment you've always wanted. To claim your spot for a phone interview with one of my expert mentors, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash retreat.

Take care and I'll speak to you soon.