Love Life with Matthew Hussey - These 4 Simple Things Make You Instantly Approachable

Episode Date: December 23, 2015

If you consider yourself a strong, independent woman… If you have trouble asking for help… If your default mode is, “I can do it myself” AND you’re wondering why guys don’t approach you, then I want you to listen closely to today’s episode of LOVE Life.  I’m going to reveal 4 simple things you can do that make you instantly more approachable, and explain the ONE thing you must bring to every relationship to make it work.  You’ll also learn the surprising quality that truly makes you strong with men.

I'm Matthew Hussey. Welcome to Love Life, which is now, by popular demand, a podcast on iTunes. I couldn't be more excited to deliver on something that women in my community have been asking for for years, and to reach a whole new audience of women who want to live their best lives, whether that means an amazing relationship, a satisfying social life, the career of their dreams, or all of these things and more. Now, before I give you some helpful advice you can use right now, I need to ask you a favor. Under my podcast picture on iTunes, I want you to hit the subscribe button. This will make sure that you and I stay connected and that you'll get each new show as soon as it's released. Did you click subscribe? Great. Let's start the show. We have a caller in today.

Her name is Patty. Patty, are you there? I am. Hello. Hi. It's good to have you on the show. Are you excited to be on the show? I am ecstatic to be on your show. I'm a huge fan of your YouTube videos. That's so great. That's so great. Well, tell us, what's your question today? Well, I wanted to ask you a question about the video where you talk about the three types of women. I am the ultra independent type and wanted to know, how do I get to the, I can do it myself, but would like someone else to do it for me? Can you help me? Yes, I can. Just for everyone out there who's wondering what Patty's talking about right now in the video, I talk about three types of women. Um, the first type of woman being the princess who's prissy and needs everything done for her. And I said, she sucks because no

one wants to be around someone who always needs everything, everything done for them. The next woman, the woman who's one rung above her, is the woman who's ultra-independent, who says, I don't need a guy for anything. I don't need anyone to do anything for me. And she sucks too, because no one wants to be around the woman who doesn't need him. And then there's the top type of woman,

the woman who really gets it. And she's the woman who understands that, yes, of course I can do everything. Of course I can make it happen on my own. I'm an independent, strong woman. Of course I can. But it's a lot of fun when I get someone else to do it for me. That's the woman who really gets it.

And there's something I said in that video, Patty, which I want you to recognize. Because you describe yourself as an independent woman, right? Yes. Which means your strength on a level of 0 to ten as a strong woman where do you put yourself i will put myself at a ten okay how when you're out how approachable are you i've been told i've not been approachable because i have been setting up those vibes that i don't need anybody right so when you're out firstly you're going to need to make yourself approachable let's discuss just a couple of ways of doing that real quick.

One, eye contact. Now, that means actually looking guys in the eye when you're out. And women too, by the way, don't just say, well, this is just about guys. This is about everybody right now. If you're unapproachable to guys, you're probably unapproachable to women too. So start looking at people. Start making eye contact with people. Now, that eye contact has to be aligned with a facial expression, right? A facial expression, which is you smiling, or at

least you having that glint in your eye. Whenever you see someone that has charisma, you'll notice there is a certain energy in their face. You'll never see someone with, someone with charisma isn't always big and loud and obnoxious. Sometimes they're quiet, but there is a look in their eye. There is a glint. There's an energy just to their facial expression that means we look at them and think they have charisma. You've got to start carrying that in your own facial expression. One of the best ways to do that is when you're out, start thinking about things that you enjoy in life. Start thinking about things that excite you or even just think about a joke or a story someone told you that day that made you laugh.

In fact, if you're with friends, tell that story. Tell that joke because you're going to be in that fun, giggly state when you look across the room and see someone else. It's the equivalent of having a phone call where your friend is making you laugh hysterically on the phone. And while you're laughing, you're looking at someone else in the room who doesn't know what's going on. All they read is this really happy woman. You understand that? Yes, I do. So that's the first part. The second part is touch. You got to start, you got to start actually touching people. How often do you do that

when you meet someone? Uh, not very much. Right. So we've got to get a little more tactile with people. When you meet someone in the first 30 seconds, I want you to make it your mission to touch them. Okay. Where are you going to touch them? Uh, touch their arm. Where on their arm? On their forearm. On their forearm. That's not bad. On the inside is even better. If you can get in on the inside, that's great. That's perfection. Okay. So perfect. Right. Little touch here and there. Also be prepared to, if you see a guy and you like something he's wearing, he's got an accessory on or a nice watch or a nice blazer or something, compliment him on that thing. And not in like a controlling, sarcastic way or anything like that.

Just compliment him in a way of saying, by the way, you look, that blazer looks great on you. Sound easy? Uh-huh. Right? But you've got to go in like, you know what? I'm not going in to get something out of this. I'm just going in to make someone else feel good. Right. That's how you've got to go in. That's the mindset. I'm just going, I just want to make this

guy feel good. He looks great tonight. I want to tell him. That's it. That's the mode. So you've got to go in smiling, eye contact, touch, and verbally actually making other people feel good and appreciated. If you walk into every room socially from now on with this mindset that your goal is to give value, not to take value, you'll do just fine. Because whenever you're going in and you're scared and you go into business mode and you're still trying to impress because you're worried about going into a mode which isn't the norm for you right now. So you want to go into business mode where you know you're kind of impressive. Right. But you shouldn't be trying to impress.

You should be trying to give value. Okay. Ultimately, and I'll tell you right now, Patty, this is going to help you not just in your love life, but in your business life. If you can be someone who knows how to ask for help, your whole life is going to change. There is nothing weak about asking for help. In fact, it makes you so strong to allow yourself to be served. And that's what I want you to do from now on, whether it's in your business, whether it's from your friends, because I'll bet you're too independent with your friends as well. Yes. Yes.

True. So this is something that's not just about men. This is true everywhere in your life. And you've got to get comfortable needing people. That doesn't mean, by the way, let me just clarify this because I'm going to leave you to go away and practice this. Okay. Let me clarify. Needing someone doesn't mean you'd be hopeless without them. I know you're a survivor. I know you're a survivor. I know you're a strong woman. So I know that you'll be fine no matter what.

That's not the point. The goal of life is not to be fine. The goal of life is to make it incredible. So go out there and ask for help and know that the worst that can happen is that you get refused or rejected and you move on to someone else who meets your standard in life. Okay.

Makes sense? Yes, it does. Patty, it's been a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you. You're so sweet. I appreciate you being on the phone. Thank you so much. All right. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

So that was Patty. Patty, thank you so much for not only calling and being so honest, but also bringing these really important issues to light. I know if you're listening right now, there will be so many of you out there who will be feeling the same things that Patty is feeling. So I want you to remember, make eye contact, smile at people, touch people. Don't be afraid to give compliments. And of course, what all of this amounts to is giving value and allowing yourself to be the vulnerable one in the relationship, knowing that you'll always be strong enough to get through it no matter what happens. Thank you, Patty, for bringing that to light. Thank you all for listening. I'll see you soon, guys.

Thank you for listening. And if you liked what you heard today, be sure to leave a five-star review and comment on iTunes, which will help me reach more women out there just like you who deserve the life they've always wanted. In the iTunes app or on your desktop, just look up the show, click on ratings and reviews, and then click write a review. Thank you. I appreciate the support more than you know, and I'll catch you next time.