Love Life with Matthew Hussey - This is a Really Gross Question, But You Can Learn From It

Episode Date: January 20, 2017

As someone who gives love advice for a living, I’ve heard it all. Or so I thought… until I got this insane email question from a listener. Now let me clarify that the question is gross not in a raunchy way (although there is a sexual component to it; nothing too scandalous)… but because of the self-centered, transactional nature of the relationship it depicts. At this point you’ll probably tune in because I’ve piqued your curiosity, but I encourage you to listen because there’s a lesson we can all learn here about – if nothing else – what NOT to do in a healthy relationship.

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. Have you ever wondered whether you should date more than one guy at a time? Every dating expert seems to have a different opinion on this. But what do guys really think about a woman who keeps her options open? Well, I'll tell you how to get the answer at the end of the show. First, let's get into today's episode. Today, we're doing something a little different. We're going to be reading out a listener email. I'm going to just say it.

I was disturbed when I read this listener email for the first time. I feel like you might be too if you're a sane, rational person. So let's jump right in. This is to do with relationships and transactions. You'll see what I mean when I read it. Matt, my best friend, wanted to upgrade her wedding diamond and proposed the following to her husband. I'll give you 30 days of blowjobs in exchange for a bigger diamond. Thoughts? Well, the husband agreed. She got her new diamond and everyone's happy. I love that point.

Everyone's happy. Clearly not. But let's keep going. But now she's gunning for a new car and house upgrades. Has she gone too far? I'm just going to say it. This is a terrible person. This is both a terrible relationship and a terrible person.

Not only that, I'm not even letting the guy off the hook. He's an idiot. Everyone in this is sordid and ugly and horrible. Let's discuss why. Firstly, relationships are not about transactions. The transactional nature, let's even set aside the sexual element of this, which makes it even more gross. But let's just take the mere fact that you're transacting in a relationship. You give me this and I'll give you that.

Right there, you've got the basis for a relationship that isn't about a genuine giving spirit. It's about what can I get. Now, people would say to that, well, Matt, isn't it true that in any relationship, it's about both. You can't just keep giving all the time and not getting in return. And of course, that's true, but that's not why you give in the first place. And it doesn't, you know, who do I want to be in a relationship with? I want to be in a relationship with someone who's giving and caring and doesn't think about getting something in return. They just want me to be happy. And I want someone to be in a relationship. You make each other happy. If she wants a bigger diamond and that would make her happy, then if he's really invested

in making her happy, they should talk about that and maybe figure it out. The point is, both of them should be in it to help each other. It shouldn't be about some sort of transaction.

Just do stuff because you care about someone. Don't barter in your relationship with sexual acts. What could be more disgusting? I mean, you're creating a form of barter in your relationship with sexual acts. What could be more disgusting? I mean, you're creating a form of prostitution within your relationship. I'm being harsh right now, but it's true. And no relationship should start from that place. So that's my two cents. I know it was probably slightly more than two cents, but that's what we're here for. We're

going to be honest. I'm not going to put any punches and I look forward to seeing you soon. This is Matthew Hussey with Love Life. You can follow me at Twitter or Facebook at my name, Matthew Hussey, or go to my website, howtogettheguide.com and check out my blog, which has plenty of videos and articles for you to keep your learning going. Thanks guys. I'll see you soon. Okay. So what do men really think about a woman who dates more than one guy at a time? I'm going to tell you and reveal the three female mindsets that drive men absolutely wild in a free video that I've created for you. You're going to get exclusive access to a Q&A session from a live seminar where I coach real women on how to deal with hot and cold men,

how to find out if a guy is single, how to be strong and confident in a relationship, and much more. To get your free access to the three female mindsets that drive men absolutely wild, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash mindsets.