Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Want More Than a Friendship With Him? Then You Need THIS…

Episode Date: December 26, 2016

In today’s LOVE Life, I take a question from a caller named Crystal who wants to know why she’s 28 and can’t seem to find long-term love. I catch her off guard with a few unexpected questions, but before long I get to the root of what’s really going on.  I reveal the one essential element that makes men see a woman as more than a friend, and share how to create it even in the trickiest circumstances. If you’re interested in a serious relationship, don’t miss this episode.

Welcome to Love Life. I'm your host, Matthew Hussey. Now, here's a secret about men that most women don't realize. Men really want to feel manly around you. If you know how to make him feel like a man, he'll want to be around you day and night. So how do you do this? I'm going to give you my five most powerful phrases for making him feel manly around you right after we get into today's topic. Today, we have a caller on the line. Let's jump right to her. Her name is Crystal. Crystal, are you there? Yes, I am. Hi, Crystal. What was your question? Well, I'm 28. I've had one boyfriend in my life and I'm still single. What is wrong with me?

What do you think is wrong with you? I don't know. Honestly, I'm not sure. Well, what do you want? What do you want? I want somebody that's fun, that's funny, that's caring, that's compassionate. So to jump back, you want somebody? Yes. How long have you wanted that for?

You know, probably my whole life. Your whole life. Do you go out much, Crystal? Here's the thing. If I do go out, that's not where I'm looking for guys. I feel like guys, when you're out, are not looking go out, that's not where I'm looking for guys and looking to meet guys. I feel like guys when you're out are not looking for the one that they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Okay, are you out of interest? Are you religious?

Yeah, you're religious. Do you believe in no sex before marriage? Yeah, okay. That was a good stab in the dark, wasn't it? That was a really great stab in the dark. I believe that right now you have this idea of perfection that you want to find. Yeah. And this ultimate relationship that you're trying to find. Yeah. Now, I take your point that at midnight in some club on a Friday night it might not be the best environment to meet the love of your life

yeah but I would argue that you may be a little too drunk on the idea of your long-term relationship to give anyone a chance at even meeting you and getting to know you right now because doesn't someone need to start with a five-minute interaction anyone a chance at even meeting you and getting to know you right now? Because doesn't someone need to start with a five minute interaction? Yeah. Isn't that where you need to give someone their jump off is to talk to you for five minutes? Yeah. Now, how do you deal with sexual tension?

I don't think I really ever. You have, by the way, just to say, Crystal, you have a very sexy voice. I don't know if anyone's ever told you that before. Oh, stop. See, I deal with it with humor. I can't handle it. Interesting. What was your immediate response when I said you had a sexy voice? To joke around. To joke around. So we know how you deal with sexual tension, don't we? I can't handle it. Right now, we know that the issue isn't just that you're holding guys up to a certain ideal of long-term relationships. We know the issue is also that right now, you're not allowing for any sexual tension.

Yeah. There was a reason, by the way, I asked you if you were religious, and there was another reason that I asked you whether you believed in sex before marriage. Because very often in my seminars, I go across America doing these. Very often I have a religious element in my audience. And I have a very similar conversation with people across the country about this. Who, because they don't believe in sex before marriage, they don't allow themselves to create sexual tension with guys because they think they have to keep that at arm's length the entire time until they've met the one. Now, I want to stress to you a very important distinction right now. There is a

difference between desire and intent. Desire is expressed when you think a guy is hot desire is expressed when you say that he has a sexy way about him that's sexual tension and it's very different from going to bed with someone and understanding that distinction is what allows you to attract guys without having to go there if that's what you don't want to do right now. But if you deny that part of yourself and you deny that desire and you don't allow for a guy to actually enjoy being sexual with you, then you'll never get someone who sees you as more than a friend. They will always look at you as someone

who is just a platonic girl. She hasn't got a sexual bone in her body. And I'm just going to say it. It's boring. It's boring. And I don't think you're a boring person. And I also think that you as a woman have a sexual side of you

that you should never be afraid to express even if the intent is not to go there right now. So when you're out there interacting with guys right now, I want you to free yourself up a bit. You don't have to change your beliefs. You don't have to change your intent about when you want to go to bed with someone and what conditions need to be in place for you to do that. That's no one's business but your own.

But when it comes to desire, you should be expressing it. And when it comes to desire, you should be expressing it. And when it comes to flirting, you should be engaging in that because that is part of being a woman. That is part of being a human being and expressing yourself in a way that feels good. And also, by the way, I might add, do you see yourself as a generous person? Yeah. If you're a generous person, part of being generous is

showing someone when you desire them. Just as I know, when I said you had a sexy voice, you might have used humor to cover up certain embarrassment, but I also know that part of you enjoyed that. So I want you to also be able to give that to other people. Does what I'm saying to you right now make sense, Crystal? I want to hear from you. Yeah, definitely. I think it just helps me to identify it and know that that's an adjustment that I need to make in my life and it's okay. It's okay. I'm excited for you, Crystal. I'm excited for you and I think this could be a really exciting journey for you starting today. So go out there, have fun and I can't wait to hear from you. And if you can, Crystal, leave us a comment on Facebook as well

and let me know what you thought of this, okay? Yeah, for sure. Amazing. Take care. We'll speak to you soon. Thank you so much, everyone, for listening. I really hope you enjoyed that. I think that was a super interesting subject for us to be delving into.

And I know that whatever your background, whatever your beliefs, you will have taken something from that because I know plenty of women, wherever they're from and whatever their beliefs who suffer from the same issue of not being able to be sexual or not being willing to be sexual because they're worried about what that will convey. And I know that hearing this might have triggered something in you that will allow yourself to be a bit more free and have fun in the process. So we started off today talking about the power of making a man feel manly around you. But how do you do this? It can be challenging to strike the balance so that you don't sound patronizing when you do this, which is why I've carefully crafted five perfect phrases that you

can say to any man that will make him feel like his best self around you. To download these five phrases, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash compliments.