Love Life with Matthew Hussey - When Should You Change Your Facebook Status?

Episode Date: January 21, 2016

It’s the modern dilemma all daters must face: “When should I change my Facebook status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship?’  And how do I bring it up to my guy without looking needy?”  I’ve got the answer for you in today’s LOVE Life, and I give you a clever way to say it that actually shows your loyalty and encourages him to change his status without ever having to ask him to do it.

I'm Matthew Hussey. Welcome to Love Life, which is now, by popular demand, a podcast on iTunes. I couldn't be more excited to deliver on something that women in my community have been asking for for years, and to reach a whole new audience of women who want to live their best lives, whether that means an amazing relationship, a satisfying social life, the career of their dreams, or all of these things and more. Now, before I give you some helpful advice you can use right now, I need to ask you a favor. Under my podcast picture on iTunes, I want you to hit the subscribe button. This will make sure that you and I stay connected and that you'll get each new show as soon as it's released. Did you click subscribe? Great. Let's start the show. We are talking today about

when you change your Facebook status to being in a relationship. So how do we navigate our way through this minefield? Well, firstly, I don't think that the moment you meet someone or the moment you start dating, that's the time when you should start thinking about whether you should be saying you're in a relationship on Facebook. I think that's precisely the time you should be in the moment in the relationship and far too busy to worry about whether you're saying it on Facebook and the rest of the world knows. Why do you care? And if you're one of those people that feels the need too quickly to start talking about it to everyone else, regardless of Facebook,

if you're that type of person in life, that should be worrying anyway, because that means you're the type of person that the moment you think you're in a relationship, you start telling everybody, and that puts huge pressure on it. And then, of course, you get to that high-pressure situation where you can't get your way out of it without embarrassing yourself. Or if that person suddenly leaves you, you have to explain to a hundred people what just happened that you've just gloated to about the situation. Just chill, chill for a moment. Let the relationship become what it's going to be on its own organically without forcing it there by labels. And then here's my rule. When it becomes old news, then start listing your relationship on Facebook. In other words, until that point, you don't have

to say you're single. My philosophy is just don't even opt to talk about your relationship status on Facebook at all. There is the choice of not listing your status at all. And I think that's the best thing to do is have that slight ambiguity. Don't be single or in a relationship. Just keep it off so that people can't see it. And then when it ceases to be news with your new partner, that's the time to do it. Now, how do you bring it up to that person? Well, you say to that person, listen, I know it's no big thing, but I'm going to list you know, list myself as being in a relationship on Facebook because I don't want people to think that I'm still single. That's a nice way of doing

it because of course, what you're really doing is making that suggestion to him too, without having to say it. See, if you say to him, you know, when are you going to change your relationship status on Facebook to show that we're in a relationship. That then becomes something that seems a little needy. It seems a little like you're strangling the situation, a little scary. But if you say, you know, I'm going to change my relationship status on Facebook. I don't want other guys to think I'm single. You show your loyalty. You show that you don't want to be hit on by other guys right now because you're so into him and you're so enjoying being with him. And you're also indirectly making the suggestion to him that he should change his as well, lest he be hit on by a bunch of women that still think he's single. In that moment, don't

worry about making the suggestion for him to please don't make it about an agenda that you're going to now ask him to do the same. If you find that weeks later, he still hasn't done it on his Facebook, fine, bring it up, say to him, look, is there any specific reason that you're not listing it as being in a relationship? Last thing I'll say is this. Saying that you're in a relationship on Facebook doesn't protect you from anything really. It's a symbolic gesture. In the same way that if your guy goes out without you, people don't know he's in a relationship until he explicitly says it to them in a conversation. Even when you're out with your guy or your girlfriend,

they don't know that you're in a relationship unless you're specifically holding hands and kissing in that moment. If the two of you are standing separately for a minute or two, they don't know at that point either. It's no difference. So let's not pretend that saying you're in a relationship on Facebook makes any practical difference. The only difference is symbolic. And if it matters to you, do it when it's old news, bring it up indirectly. And if you must bring it up with him weeks later, because he's not doing it, just state casually that, you know, you find it strange that he, he doesn't want to do it. Is there any reason that he can explain to you that he doesn't want to do it and hear him out? You'll make a decision at that point as to what you want to do about it. That's it from me today. That was Facebook and statuses and all of that

nonsense that we have to deal with these days, which is ridiculous, but we do. Let's move on. I will see you in the next episode. Take care. You can follow me on Facebook, in fact, which I'm also on. My relationship status is not listed there, so don't even try and find it. I'm at Coach Matthew Hussey. So go check me out, Coach Matthew Hussey. I'm on Facebook. I'd love to see you there. Take care. Thank you for listening. And if you liked what you heard today, be sure to leave a five-star review and comment on iTunes, which will help me reach more women out there just like you who deserve the life they've always wanted.

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