Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Why Rejecting a Man With Kindness Attracts the Guy You Really Want

Episode Date: February 19, 2016

When a guy you’re not into hits on you, what should you do?  You don’t want to waste precious time in a lame conversation and, worse, you don’t want to give him the wrong idea that he has a chance with you. But wait—before you give him the cold shoulder, there’s something you need to know.  How you handle this situation could have a huge impact on whether that hot guy across the room you’ve had your eye on ends up approaching you, or dismissing you altogether. I break it down in today’s episode of LOVE Life.

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. Do you ever feel like you keep attracting the wrong kinds of men? I can understand how frustrated and hopeless this must make you feel at times. All you want is a good guy who appreciates you and treats you well. Someone who's a partner in all of life's ups and downs. But instead, you end up with jerks. Well or you're not alone. So many women can relate. I want you to smile right now because today I'm going to give you a simple way to get rid of the jerks and only attract quality men into your life. Before I give that to you, let's get into today's episode. Hello everyone. I hope you're wonderful today. This is Matthew Hussey with Love Life. I have an interesting episode today. It's about rejection, but it's not about receiving rejection,

it's about giving rejection and the nature in which you should give rejection. When you're out and a guy hits on you, I know that a common complaint amongst women is that it's not the guy you want to hit on you. And that's annoying, especially when it's the kind of weird guy in the place who comes over and you're not sure what to do with him really. You don't know how to reject him at the time. Now, I want to tell you to be careful of the way that you reject people, especially in public, because when, here's the thing about guys, when you walk in, they're staring at you, they're when you walk in they're staring at you they're watching you and they're also watching you when you're around other guys so they're looking at how you treat everyone else as a representation as a a sign of things to come

for how you're going to treat them so when you go and knock back that guy in a harsh way or give him this weird cold look, and women do this, guys can do it too, but women are more used to being hit on than guys are. Women will look at a guy and size him up and give him a kind of cold look and ignore him completely when he's trying to talk to her and she'll turn away. Now I get why women do this, I'm treading a fine line here because if you give a guy too much attention, he won't leave you alone. I do understand that, and I know that that's why women who, in the beginning, might not have dealt out cold reactions to people, learn that, to some extent, they have to have that in their tool belt, because if they don't give a guy a cold reaction, sometimes there's a type of guy that won't leave them alone. He'll take any sign of

politeness as a sign that she is interested or that at the very least, she's not going to reject him so he can keep trying and being persistent. So I do understand, ladies, where you're coming from. But I also want to make you aware that when you reject that guy in a cold way that comes up to you, the guy you actually want to come over to you is watching. And if he sees that you treated someone else in an ugly way, you become uglier in that moment to him. Not only that, but he gets terrified of the prospect of being the next person who's going to get treated like that if he comes over to you. So when you reject that guy who's in front of you, remember that you're on show for the rest of the room. And think about it this way. If a guy I really liked was watching this right now, how would I want him

to see me? What sort of reaction would I give that is the classy, elegant, kind reaction that I would want the man of my dreams to see me giving to someone? And so this doesn't mean standing there and talking to someone you don't want to talk to. It can simply mean when someone gives you a compliment, saying, thank you so much, that's very kind of you. And then turning and carrying on the conversation with your friends. And by the way, you can always inform your friends before you go out. You know, if you see a guy talking to me and I give you a little tug behind my back or, you know, give you a little sign, you can make up your signs between your friends. Then pull me out of it. Come and talk to me and ask me a question

that allows me to answer and tell the guy, you know what, I really have to, I really have to go, but thank you so much. I appreciate that. Or by the way, you can always tell the guy that you're speaking to, you know what, I really appreciate you coming over to me. We're on a bit of a girl's night right now, so I'm going to get in trouble with my friends if I don't go and get back to them. But you have a wonderful night, okay? Really be kind about it. And by the way, look, I'll just add this caveat. If a guy is being obnoxious or doing anything inappropriate, then just get out. Just go with your friends, walk to another part of the venue, or worst case, leave the venue, but get to another part of it and feel free to shun him. But don't engage with him in some mean or weird thing that becomes

something more than it really is. So be polite, be kind, be respectful. I guarantee you that more of the people that you want will come over to you if they see that you were kind to the person that went before them. Okay, so we started off today talking about how you want to finally stop attracting the wrong men. I told you I have something for you that will show you how to make a quick shift that will bring the right kind of men into your life. Well, I've created a powerful training video for you called the three mindsets that drive men wild. And it guides you through the simple steps that you can take to attract the kind of men you truly want. To get your free access to Three Mindsets That Drive Men Wild, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash mindsets.