Love Life with Matthew Hussey - Why Your Ex Definitely Isn’t “The One”

Episode Date: December 5, 2015

If you’ve ever had an impossible time getting over an ex because you think he could be “The One,” you need to listen to today’s episode of LOVE Life.  I’m going to tell you the one way to know for absolutely certain that he’s NOT “The One.”  I’ll also give you that kick in the butt you need to get out there and start meeting new people.  Let’s snap you out of this funk right now…

Welcome to another episode of Love Life. I'm your host, Matthew Hussey. Every few days, I'll be bringing you a new episode filled with practical advice you can use right away to improve all of your relationships. Romantic, family, friends, career, and most importantly, the relationship you have with yourself. If you've been listening to me for a while, please do me a favor and leave me a five-star review in iTunes. In the iTunes app or on your desktop, just look up the show, click on ratings and reviews, and then click write a review. I'm not asking for the ego boost. It's simply because the highest rated programs get the most visibility in iTunes and together we can help reach more women by helping them find the show. Thank you so much for your help. Let's start the show.

Today we are dealing with this question. Is my ex the one? This is even saying that question depresses me. We had someone write in, I have a friend who's been broken up with his ex-girlfriend for two years, but this Christmas he's talking about buying her an iPhone and a Burberry coat. How do I tactfully tell my friend to snap out of it? Okay. In order to even be going down that road with someone, you either have to be coming from one of these places. The first is a scarcity mindset. Now, a scarcity mindset says there's no one out there like her. There may not be, but there's definitely someone different.

So that idea of there's no one out there like her, I find to be an insane idea, especially no one out there like who? Someone who doesn't want you? If there's no one else, I can find plenty of people out there who won't want you. So the idea that you've lost someone really special is crazy when this person doesn't want to be with you. A relationship involves two people. Secondly, you would have to be coming from a place of sheer laziness of saying you know what i know that there's plenty of other people out there but i'm not even going to go and try meeting those i'm just going to stick with the exact thing that i

know which is crazy lazy and i think that people often use an excuse of no you don't understand this person is the one because really they're just afraid to meet someone new. It becomes a noble excuse for going after the thing that we feel really comfortable with. So we have to get this guy to snap out of it right now and say, listen, you have to get away from this weird masochistic thing of going after this person because it's like chasing a ghost. It's this phantom relationship that doesn't really exist anymore. And in a way, I actually think of it as like you're objectifying her because she doesn't even want this thing anymore, but you're going after her in a way of saying, I'm going to buy her stuff and I'm going to see her as this ideal. To me, the right person is the person that wants us. It's not someone who's out there thinking, well, no, I don't actually want you, but you can keep chasing me anyway. That's not the right

person. So anyone who's out there and has an ex right now going, what if my ex is the one? Let me tell you something. If they don't want you, they ain't the one. So go out, even if you're going to cry about it at night, go out there the rest of the time and actually meet some people and prove yourself wrong that this is the only person that could be for you in your life this is matthew hussey from love life um hashtag us by the way send us in questions at hashtag love life let us know what you want answered do you have a personal issue you want to talk about do you have a friend that has something they want to ask or something you want to ask on their behalf, hashtag Love Life on Twitter. And also, if you've enjoyed this episode or you have a friend who is like this with an ex and you're just sick of hearing them whine about it, share this episode on Facebook.

They won't know it was specifically for them, but you'll share it with everyone and then they'll hear it and maybe get a grip. All right, take care. I will see you soon. I hope you got a lot out of the show today. I know I always do. Coming soon, I've got more amazing shows in store for you. So be sure you do not miss them. If you haven't done so already, click the subscribe button in iTunes and I'll deliver each new episode straight to you as soon as it's released.

Thanks for listening. Have an incredible week and I'll talk each new episode straight to you as soon as it's released. Thanks for listening. Have an incredible week and I'll talk to you soon.