Love Lives - #14 Facing family as a singleton at Christmas and a seasonal dating trend we've all experienced

Episode Date: December 22, 2017

Although being single at Christmas can be a lot of fun, it also inevitably leads to the dreaded inquisition from family members who are nosy about your love life (or lack thereof). This week, we share our experiences of mothers who just don't understand us and having to sleep in children's race car beds when we go home for Christmas. We also discuss 'Marleying,' a newly-identified seasonal dating trend that sees people reaching out to their exes over the festive period. If you haven't done it, it's probably happened to you. Merry Christmas from Millennial Love!Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/millenniallove. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twas the season of chaos and all through the house not one person was stressing. Holla differently this year with DoorDash. Don't want to holla do the most? Holla don't. More festive, less frantic. Get deals for every occasion with DoorDash. Hello and welcome to Millennial Love, the Independent Lifestyle Desk's weekly podcast on love, dating and relationships. Hosted by me, Rachel Hosey, Assistant Lifestyle Editor. And me, Olivia Petter, Lifestyle Writer. Each week we're discussing the core dating issues affecting millennials today. There are endless podcasts out there on love and relationships.

But we felt that nobody was speaking directly to our generation, where people ghost, zombie and breadcrumb one another quicker than you can say Tinder. This week, we welcome back Indie Best editor, Sally Newell. Hi, Sally. Hi, Rachel. Hi, Libby. Hello. It's Christmas, guys. Oh, I'm so excited.

Oh, did you hear that enthusiasm could you tell how much i love christmas i'm feeling pretty festive so i'll make up for her i'm feeling very festive i've been feeling festive since about mid-november i'd say earlier than that possibly we um last night rachel and i went to a fairly festive event oh yeah um it was a christmas pudding oh yeah did you you ate my christmas pudding i ate most people's puddings we wonder why i'm single it was um a singles dinner hosted by bumble and it was at ketner's townhouse which is like this new restaurant that hasn't opened yet in soho and neither of us really knew what to expect going into it it was kind of the invitation was very ambivalent it was like come, come to this dinner for single Londoners.

We were like, okay. I mean, are there going to be boys? Will there be boys? Will there be boys was the first question. No, we didn't know what it was. We were like, is this a press dinner? Is this a public thing? Is this speed dating?

We had no idea what it was. And then we got there and I suddenly felt, oh God, why have I not made more of an effort? It was always incredibly attractive, trendy, cool looking young people. Everyone had amazing jobs and were really interesting. And I was like, oh, Jesus. Everyone in there was a solid eight out of ten. Minimum. Yeah.

It was quite intimidating. For sure. Oh, yeah, definitely. But no, it was actually a really fun evening. Like hats off to B bumble who i know we go on about a lot they're not like actually paying us or anything we just um are lucky they should yeah sponsor us we're just really lucky to have been invited um what did you think of the evening i thought it was really interesting um i ended up weirdly so i was sat next to it was very like traditional dinner party set up and it was boy girl boy girl and i was sat next to two guys and opposite one guy and actually

weirdly the guy that ended up getting my number was a guy that was at the other end of the table who we were speaking to at the beginning and he asked my number at the beginning of the night because he was sat so far away from me he was like well i can't talk to you from here wait wait he already had assessed the seating plan and how close you were to him he sat down saw i was far away and was like oh well i can't talk to you from here so what's your number give me your phone and then yeah and then started texting me like under the table and then was like why aren't you replying i was like dude i'm at dinner like i'm not gonna sit here on my phone texting you that is bold i know it was really bold refreshingly bold but still like

bold nonetheless and i was a bit taken aback by it yeah i mean fair play to him but yeah i think he was just probably just really wanted your number and wanted to try and find a reason but at this point i'd literally said three words to him but it was a really interesting event because obviously everyone there was single it's hosted by bumble so the expectation is very much like you will meet people and you will mate. Go. Like it was equal numbers of men and women. Yeah, it was quite a lot of pressure.

I've never been to an event like that before. Apparently they did do it last year as well, though. And two people met there and are now a couple. Are they? Isn't that good? And did you ladies meet anyone nice? Apart from Mr. Texter under the table. I met a boy I liked but i don't think i

don't think he liked me back oh it's too early to tell surely yeah well yeah i was bold i was like this event is sponsored by bumble women have to make the first move so this is true and you did make the first move i did i did you got his number yeah and so i don't it's probably not going to go anywhere but anyway it's good practice of making the first move anyway i think so because it's not really on as much as we'd love to be like yeah sassy independent women i can take on the world it's just not my natural inclination to make the first move with a guy some guys actually like to make the first move i think yeah true but anyway this is not actually one of the topics today not at all um it's just something on our minds after the party last night so later on in the podcast we're

going to talk about something called marling which is a newly identified christmas dating trend where an ex shows up out of the blue during the festive period it is nothing let me just say it has nothing to do with bob marley. Yeah, or Marley and me. Oh, I didn't think about that. Yeah. You know, the dog. That's what springs to my mind. No, I did know the dog. Yeah.

But first, we are going to discuss the pressures of being single at Christmas time. And for a lot of us, these pressures come from very close to home. When you, you know, you go back to your parents at christmas time and you suddenly get the influx possibly from your mother of but why are you single do you guys have experience of this weirdly my granddad actually asked me that the other day i was at i was at their house for dinner my granddad my grandma and out of nowhere they started asking me about my dating life and they were like oh so are you dating anyone at the moment and at this point I wasn't I said no and my granddad was like why not Livvy why not and and my grandma was like you can't ask

her that like slapped him on the wrist at least she said that does it happen to you Sal I find my I tend to manage my mum's expectations by making it clear that if I am seeing someone that I think, and I think it might go somewhere, that I'll tell her. And if not, she should assume that I'm not. So I think my silence speaks volumes when I go home. I know a lot of my friends, you know, I'm 32 and a lot of my friends say, single friends say that they get guilt tripped about grandchildren. And I have to say, hats off to my mom.

She does not do that. And she doesn't have any grandchildren. My older sister either. So, yeah, she's a bit of a legend. And we're from quite a small family. And I think my aunts and uncles know me well enough to know that I would tell them if there was someone significant in my life. So I do feel very lucky, actually, when I hear other people's horror stories at this time of year i think there's like this idea that it's just you think of bridget jones you know when she's at like the annual turkey curry buffet and there's all

these like you know distant aunts and uncles asking about your love life to be fair my extended family don't really tend to ask me much um i think it's a go-to question though for those distant relatives that you don't really see and you only see them once once a year like there's only so many questions that are on their list it's like how's your job how's your home life who are you dating they're like it's just on the list of generic small talk questions and that you know obviously they probably don't realize if if you're like desperately single that's like the worst question they can ask you to them it's just a normal so like you know how how's your dating life are you single and to you it's like oh for god's sake leave me alone but they're just being polite one of my uh one of my

good friends who I used to live with so we would compare notes on this often she had a huge family and they'd have these big get-togethers at Christmas and she said she always felt lucky that she had one cousin female cousin men don't seem to get quite as much stick um who was um a couple of years older than her and single so she'd always say to me oh the buffer's gonna be there so it's okay so the cousin was the buffer from all the uh nosy relatives and then suddenly the buffer met someone. So then my friend was, that year, my friend was really worried about what was going to happen.

I can now happily report that she has married herself. So, yeah. So now probably the next person down is having to go through what she went through. But it was something that genuinely upset her. I think it's really interesting as well because I think people often think, you know, I've got a lot of cousins and they the older ones have started getting married I've got another wedding in January and I'm super excited about it but you

know people sort of expect it to go in order of age and then they're starting to feel like oh it's it's getting down getting down to me now oh awkward gonna be waiting a while still guys and I I don't know I think I think um what you're saying Sal about how you know as a woman when you reach your 30s I think they probably pile the pressure on more because the baby thing yes um yeah can't you hear my biological clock ticking that old chestnut yeah but as i said my mom's actually good about that and perhaps it's because she had kids in her mid-30s so she you know is happy well she's happy if we're happy and at the moment me and my sister are happy pursuing our careers and who knows what will happen in the future. But I know from friends, you know, they get it a lot.

You know, choice phrases like, am I ever going to be a grandmother? Or dropping in that, you know, they're the only one in their group who doesn't have grandchildren, things like that. And I think really it is a different time, you know. Completely different. It's so unfair to put those pressures on your children. The thing is, right, I adore my mum. She is the best human I know. Like, love her to pieces.

But she does not get me when it comes to relationships, dating, love things. God, me neither. She doesn't understand that I can be happy single. She's like, last time I went home, like last month, I got this big sort of like I was just getting ready for bed and my mum came into my room and I was like oh no here we go love you mum um and she's just asking me like but why are you single don't you meet boys you like and I'm like yeah mum but you know I haven't met anyone like I like enough yet and she goes but I just don't

understand like you and so many of your friends are single and i don't understand why i genuinely think it has a lot to do with the fact that our generation of women have been brought up i think potentially with different priorities to even just you know one generation above like our parents generation and we're not so focused on just finding a man and having babies and i'm not saying that's what like our parents generation was purely focused on no it's not but i think you're right we're a much more empowered generation than ever before exactly i think we are encouraged to be more independent than previous generations would have been and i think you know the idea of being single and being

alone is a bit less comprehensible to our parents generation than to all of our I mean so many of my friends are single yeah and it's and it's just not a big deal but it's so funny that your mum is the same as my mum like just not really understanding yeah why someone is single but equally my mum has no understanding of like the nuances of modern day dating terminology so funny a while ago um this is why i can't really tell my mom when i'm dating someone because she gets way too excited my parents then like google the guy's father and i find out all about his like his company and how it's doing on the i don't know whatever it is and that's why i can't tell them anymore because i get too excited and get too carried away um but yes i remember a while ago i i was actually with my brother and my sister we were trying to

explain to my mom the concept of seeing someone this is what my mother does not understand and then she was like but if you're going on dates and hanging out just the two of you like your boyfriend and girlfriend and i'm like no yeah she literally asked me a few weeks ago like so how's your boyfriend because i told her that i've been on a few dates with this guy. And I was like, mum, he's not my boyfriend. I'm just, she's like, whoa, if he's not your boyfriend, like, why not? And I was like, I'm just, I'm just seeing him. She's like, what does that mean?

I was like, I, to be honest, I don't really know either. But I know that he's not my boyfriend. And my mum's like, so could he be seeing other girls? And I'm like, yes. Yes, he could. And it's a bit shit. Oh, damn it. I've just given us an expletive thing.

Sorry. You can go back to it. You don't have to include it. I've said it now. All right. I've said it now. We've got the E. Oh, let's shit everywhere then.

Swearing o'clock. No, let's not be vulgar for the sake of it. But, um, souls. I've distracted myself now with expletives. Yeah, no. Yeah, it's a bit annoying annoying but that is just the dating culture we're in and it's just so different it's just so different my mum just is very much like but i just want you to be happy and i'm like i am happy can i ask you why do you think what is it

as someone that doesn't celebrate christmas there does seem to be a particular pressure on this time of year than at any other time of year like you said it's that bridget jones moment when it's all of those relatives coming and asking her why are you single are you dating anyone what do you think it is about this time of year that puts that extra pressure on people it's family time that's what i think it is it's when families come together so people start to think about expanding the family and you creating your own family but you don't think there's an element of like the romanticization of like you know christmas is such a magical time and as rachel has she's literally quoted this to me five times today at christmas you tell the truth i think it's also christmas is a it's a marker of 12 months that have passed um it's a natural you know end of the calendar year and so naturally it's a point of reflection so you're going to

reflect back going to reflect forward can you say that going to look forward and think you know what what do i have what do i think about what i have what don't I have? What am I going to do about it? You know, a friend was saying to me that she spent the whole of the last Christmas she was with her last long-term boyfriend sort of wishing that she wasn't with him. And she said it was a Christmas period that crystallised her thoughts. Perhaps when she was around family and loved ones

and, you know, perhaps couples that were better together than she saw that her and her boyfriend were and she said um it did take you know a few months later before she finally did did it but it was that christmas period where she thought right it's funny it's like the subconscious kind of craving for deeper human connections at this time of year that's why people love love actually you're looking at me with a scorned face but you have a routine with love actually and you love that film and people it's because and like the holiday and all of those christmas films people love to indulge in that stuff at this time of year oh i know i completely get swept up in the magic of christmas and i'm like it's the time for

love yeah exactly but then if you know i'm actually also run away from feelings but again don't be afraid to catch me there we go but then again there's also a huge appeal to just sitting on the sofa in a onesie eating like mince pie and you know if you're single you can just be selfish and do that yeah and great it's like mom i've got this like mermaid blanket so like your legs are literally oh my god yeah i've seen that like there's like no one getting in there. And actually, being single, it does give you opportunities that you probably wouldn't have

if you were in a relationship and you had to think about, you know, particularly at Christmas, you have to think about the other person, but also their family and, you know, your in-laws or whatever that is. And, you know, I'm going away this year with my family, but then I'm extending the trip to do

um to do some fun travel pieces for work and that's kind of an opportunity I wouldn't be able to take probably with someone else and I'm just making the most of it because you know who knows when I'll have more commitments or dependents to worry about I won't just be able to swan off to um you know the other side of the world I it suits me. I think that's exactly what you should be doing. 100%. I am gel. Yeah, take advantage of it. But then, you know, I'm also a little bit gel at people that get

engagement rings under the Christmas tree at this time of year. Oh God, I would not want to be proposed to under the Christmas tree. It's the most popular time of year. Rachel would love that. I'd probably be okay with it, to be honest. I could go for a Christmas wedding as well. Oh, my God.

Or Lady and the Tramp when Jim Deere gives Darling the Puppet Lady in a box. Oh, I haven't seen that film. It's classic. You haven't seen that film? I'm feeling like an old millennial now. No, come on. I've seen Lady and the Tramp. I mean, it's the iconic spaghetti scene.

Tell me. Oh, no, I have. I have. You know. Yeah, yeah, I have. I haven't seen it recently. I mean, but i watch it every week the bloke buys his wife a puppy in a box with ribbon and that's always what i thought you know christmas with my husband would be like yeah i mean there are definitely some animal cruelty issues there

should not be in a box anywho yeah. Christmas when you're single can be tricky. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessie Cruikshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture. But when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show.

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grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com It can indeed. I wanted to, actually, I wanted to bring up the issue of sleeping arrangements.

Oh, yeah, that's another thing, isn't it? When you go back to your parents' home, you're looking for recognition. I don't do this stuff, so please explain. Okay, no, that's true. I mean, so I go home to my parents, along with my brother and sister, and I go back to my childhood bedroom,

which has a single bed, because I've always been single and it's like i've got this like groovy chick bed linen on it which is actually cool but ironically cool now i like to think one of our uh one of our former colleagues at the independent or freelancer rodrigo marsden um he started this brilliant uh twitter trend about i think six years ago now where he tweeted a picture of his bedroom his bed at christmas in his parents house and it was like you know football covers cuddly toys probably a kid's bed or something and he didn't know what he was starting because people started

replying with the pictures of their where they were sleeping and there were some absolutely ridiculous things like uh bedding in the kitchen next to the washing machine um literally you know a racing car bed that's hilarious and actually the solidarity that people found on social media probably made the whole thing a bit more bearable really yeah like who is having the worst time it's hilarious that as a single person you sort of get cast aside and put in like either your old childhood's bed or say you've gone to some extended family and you've just ended up in the kid's bed. Oh, God. Yeah, can't wait.

No, but in all seriousness, I cannot wait. I think that phenomenon has been summed up as bad duvets, unpleasant curtains and deflating airbeds. And I expect I'll be seeing all three this Christmas. Look forward to it it's gonna be great right let's move on to dating disaster of the week so thanks again for sending these in guys we adore reading them because who doesn't love a disaster date here we go i swiped right to a guy who had the cutest pug who i later found out isn't his and he had stolen it just for the purpose of this picture.

We got chatting and quickly moved over to WhatsApp after a few days where the conversation flowed and all the lols and sassy emojis were being used. We realised we were only 10 minutes from each other and decided to go and get a drink then and there. Big points for spontaneous dates. We met a few hours later and he looked nothing like his photo at all and smelt of BO, weed and God knows what else. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt because I was all dolled up and this sassiness doesn't happen on the regular and I wasn't going to let it go to waste. So we start to drive to the bar and he reveals that he hasn't got his wallet on him and can we stop by his house? He now tells me that he is 32

and still lives with his parents. Creepiness points of 10. After arriving at his house he says he wants to show me around and I am nearly dying with the smell in his car, so agree. And as we're walking around there seems to be a contraption made from a clothes horse, dirty stained sheets and pillows in the corner of his living room. Did you have your nephew round earlier? I ask him. The man replies, no, I made us a fort in case you wanted to come back and watch a film later. We didn't go for a drink. I faked a toothache after 10 minutes of him showing me his band music and left. I'm sorry, the the fort thing that must be a joke

surely he was making a joke but he had made a fort no but maybe there was some sort of other reason like as if a 32 year old man would make a fort still with his parents though yeah i know but in and but like he left it they're only back at his house because he left his wallet right so surely he didn't anticipate that he was going to bring her back maybe he conveniently left his wallet and did you say a pommel horse a clothes haul i think that's such a weird phrase but it's just the thing that you hang your washing yeah a drying rack yeah no i think and sorry i was getting like 50 shades of gray like i visions I think this is a joke that's been taken

too seriously in my humble opinion if someone said that to me I'd be like ha lol yeah I made a fort that's funny no

I still don't know if it's weird I just think it is quite weird and yeah it wouldn't fill me with confidence

that he wasn't perhaps trying to kill me well and the fact that he smells of BO and weed. You know, all the other stuff is not attractive, but I think the fourth thing is quite funny. I don't think he was being serious.

I do not blame her for faking a toothache and leaving. And he, you know, if he had any common sense, would have seen right through that. Yeah. Anywho. Disaster day. We love it. Thank you so much.

So our next discussion point of today's festive podcast is Marleying now this is not exactly a dating trend because it's not new I think it's been happening every Christmas time for we know all Christmas has passed so this is named after Jacob Marley from Dickens Christmas Carol um Jacob Marley was Scrooge's business partner who appears as a ghost out of nowhere, having been gone for years. And the new data from eHarmony said that one in ten singles have had this done to them.

Essentially what it is, is an ex coming out of the wood... What's the expression? Woodwork. Woodwork. Yeah, woodwork. I was about to say waterwork, and then I was like... No, different. That's different. So it's an ex coming out of, woodwork. I was about to say waterwork, and then I was like, no. No, different. That's different.

So it's an X coming out of the woodwork. Yes. I'm really questioning myself now. Woodwork. Is it plural? Woodworks? No, that's waterwork. Waterworks is plural.

Oh, God. Christmas has frazzled my brain. Okay, so it's an X just appearing. Let's go with that. And getting back in touch with you, either for just saying I want a drink to reminisce, I want to hook up, I want to go on a date.

Something like that. Um, at Christmas time. I mean, it's really interesting because, you know, there are various reasons for this. It's about,

you know, Christmas is a time when people get nostalgic and start to think about, you know, memories of times gone past. And at Christmas you tell the truth. Quite. Or it's just people being lonely um and yeah it's a thing essentially what it is is zombying but seasonal zombying it is

basically zombying is the same thing it's when a ghost you know so someone who has maybe ghosted you as in stopped talking to you suddenly comes back from the dead or you know the spirit world and starts talking to you again and that's what mar or you know the spirit world and starts talking to you again and that's what marling is my understanding of it is so it is festive zombying in millennial dating buzzword terms we love a buzzword we love a buzzword i think it also comes down to people just going home for christmas and bumping into old flame yeah or sort of going past a pub you used to go to on dates with an oil flame or whatever. Or, I don't know.

And then thinking, you know, why not just drop them a line and see if they're also in town for Christmas. Also, I'm a bit dubious of those statistics. One in ten, I'd say it's more like seven in ten. Yeah, I reckon it's way more common than that, actually. Yeah, I think a lot of people have done it. Yeah. So we've probably all done it and it's probably been done than that, actually. Yeah. I think a lot of people have done it. Yeah. So we've probably all done it, and it's probably been done to all of us as well.

I actually don't think I have done it, or it has been done to me. But to be fair, I don't think I have anyone, like, at home. No. Who could be considered an extra anything place. This whole going home for Christmas thing is very new to me,

because I don't really have, like, a... Well, that's because you're a proper Londonondoner born and bred yeah whereas most people actually their parents don't live where they live because they leave home yeah yeah so like yeah most of us have to go back to our parents back to the home counties provinces yeah yeah i do think it's definitely more common than one in ten though i'm sure sure a lot of people, because it's only natural. You think about, you know, at Christmas, the emphasis is very much on intimacy and relationships, whether it's family or friends or past flames.

So I think if you are single, it's only natural that you would maybe kind of nostalgically look back on the last person you had real feelings for. Maybe not even just the last one. No. The last few i didn't mean one as in multiple i meant like maybe it was like the penultimate one yeah or like whoever you had the most feelings to i mean i know just whoever the one is there

yeah true or whoever there's no there's not closure with or who i mean just anyone that will help you pass the time when you're sleeping in a single bed with a Disney duvet cover next to the washing machine. Very true. I mean... Yeah, maybe if you go and have a sleepover at theirs it'll be a better bed. That is actually quite a good tactic. Yeah, exactly. Be like, sauce parents, I don't want

to face your grilling and sleep in the racing car bed. No, but then obviously all your parents would and your extended family would speculate. Oh yeah, that would add fuel to their fire. I actually once did sleep in a racing car bed

when I went to a wedding. That was possibly a low. A real low. I'm not surprised. In a child's racing, children's racing car bed when you were watching other people being joined in holy matrimony. It may have been unholy, actually. I didn't think that racing car beds were actually a thing.

It just always reminds me of that episode of Friends. Oh, yeah. You know, when Monica gets the massive race car bed. It's a thing. Yeah, it's a real thing. I mean, if I was a child, I'd probably enjoy one. I'm sure you would groovy chick duvet covers yeah good times good times can't wait to go back to it you kind of

look a bit like groovy chick actually thank you thank you so much rachel you're still a groovy chick in my eyes i'm a groovy chick at heart aren't we all there was also funky girl remember funky girl oh yeah groovy chick s. Yeah, maybe that's you. Thanks. What does that make me? Groovy chick's mum? No. Cool older sister.

Oh, right. Yeah, sorry. I can't think of any more characters. But, yeah, defos. Defos. I don't know. I'm wondering if there is an age thing to do with marling. Do you think it's more common at younger ages? The study found that it was most

likely to happen in london and wales that is interesting i've no idea why well london isn't it london and cardiff no they said wales oh did they yeah like the whole the whole of wales i mean wales is you know got its remote parts so maybe it's just like when you are sitting at home you just want someone to text rather than to physically meet yeah i find that surprising that london was the most common because you would think it would happen more in the provinces because people leave london yeah people leave so then the ones who are left behind are like omg yeah got no one very few were left behind trust me there's not many of us yeah i'm not sure this is a scientific survey i mean I can't remember how many people they did survey,

but it was in the thousands. So I'd like to think it's pretty legit. But also, yeah, one in ten sounds low. I bet people just don't admit to it. No. I was going to say, yeah, I bet people don't admit to it because it's also quite, maybe not embarrassing, but to... To be seen and to be crawling back to your ex.

Yeah, exactly. It's not the most kind of thing. It's not something you'd really want to boast about. Yeah. No to yeah exactly it's not the most kind of thing it's not something you'd really want to boast about yeah no i think it's interesting and i think now that there is a name for this i think people are going to be a lot more conscious of it i love when there's a name for something it just legitimizes it as a feeling or a thing i know but it also just helps you yeah realize what something is or what you've done i love it and then we come out with all these buzzwords and everyone's like we have no idea what you're talking about they're clearly not listening to

the podcast enough they're really not i mean i did have i do need to go and look on urban dictionary after this oh just chat to us babes we got it all we are basically the urban dictionary of dating buzzwords i know you're our own yeah lol anyway so now it is time for bumble bio of the week so this is from a guy called charlie who's 25 and he says yachtsman investor soldier and rugby player currently living in london trying to be that gentleman colon less netflix and chill more amazon prime and commitment looking to find someone to take to family events so they stop asking what is wrong with me. Now

I picked this for various reasons firstly that last line is very relevant to what we've discussed but the second thing is there's actually sort of one line in this that I really liked the rest of it was a bit meh no offence Charlie it's less Netflix and chill more Amazon sort of one line in this that i really liked the rest of it was a bit meh no offense charlie um

it's less netflix and chill more amazon prime and commitment yeah i like that a lot and i actually think that should have been the buyer on its own yeah don't tell me about your yachting and your business stuff i like the rest that he says i'm like investor it's just like it's just a bit too much info i think less is more with mumble buyers i really do i think if you've got a witty line leave it at that. Have me coming back for more. I disagree. But that's probably maybe because I'm looking for something different to what you're looking for.

And I would say my Bumble settings, actually I'm not on Bumble, but my settings are probably set to older than 25. And I've seen that Amazon Prime and commitment thing before. So I'd say Charlie's bio is full of cliche. I thought it was original. Oh, copycat yeah and those cliches make me feel a bit sick so uh soz it's no from me but then i'm way too old for him anyway so no no you're not sal absolutely not no likey no lighty from sally i mean, we need to talk on another podcast about the age men set on their dating profiles. Why? Tell us briefly now.

Well, my friends in their 30s, their upper age limit are things like 28. So obviously that's a bit depressing. What? Yeah. There's that line in Bride Wars where she says, okay, this is really depressing.

I don't think it's true. She goes 30 is the cut off point because it's the final age that men want to date someone their age. I mean that's true in my experience that is true. I mean obviously there are men. In fact someone I know is going out with someone who's 34 and he

said to her you must have slipped through the net because my age range is set to younger than that she's so bleak oh oh discrimination i hate it damn it bastards i can say that now because we're swearing aren't we uh yeah well we've fucked it um all that cheery notes about how shit merry bloody christmas Happy fucking New Year. I'm sorry we've sworn so much. Oh, it feels so good. Oh, it's awful.

But on another note, thank you so much everyone who's listened this year. This isn't actually our final episode of the year. No, we will be doing a New Year's Eve special next week. Because millennial love does not stop for, you know, Christmas time. For no holiday. No, we'll still be here. i will not be

i'll be in australia sunning myself sal's gonna be having a lovely time uh olivia and i'll be here uh you know still single potentially having done some marling yeah um but we wish you all the merriest of christmas um christmas is even please do subscribe, rate, and review us on iTunes as this helps other people discover the podcast. And please keep sending in your dating disasters. We're still really keen to hear from some men. We know that you listen. So send us your terrible dating stories

and we'll read them out with joyful voices. Anonymously, though. Oh, yes, anonymously. Don't worry. So you can email them to millennial.love at independent.co.uk or you can also tweet us at rachel underscore hosie and olivia petter one. Sally thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me gals it's been enlightening. I'm going home to look up zombying. I know I should know working with you two ladies but

I don't. There are too many. There are too many. We'll educate you. We got this. Gradually. Thank you so much for listening, everyone. Have a wonderful Christmas and we will see you next week. Bye. Merry Christmas.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessie Kirkshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture, but when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle.

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