Love Lives - #17 Sliding into DMs and getting 'the ick'

Episode Date: January 12, 2018

Social media has created a whole new way to chat someone up: sliding into DMs (direct messages). But is there a correct etiquette for this? Is there a way to do it without being creepy? We share our t...houghts on the matter this week on Millennial Love.We're also discussing 'the ick' - the inexplicable feeling of disgust you sometimes develop out of nowhere towards someone you're dating, even though you were totally into them before. Where does it come from? Do men get the ick too? We try to get to the bottom of all these mysteries.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/millenniallove. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know a thirsty man until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like, and now that's what my grandma's on. Thank God phone a friend with Jesse Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com. Hello and welcome to Millennial Love, the Independent Lifestyle Desk's weekly podcast on love, dating and relationships.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Hosted by me, Olivia Petter, lifestyle writer. And me, Rachel Hosey, assistant lifestyle editor. Each week, we're discussing the core dating issues affecting millennials today. There are endless podcasts out there on relationships, but as two single ladies in our 20s, we didn't feel any really reflected our own experiences. And that's why we decided to launch Millennial Love. This week we are talking about sliding into someone's DMs, which is only a phrase that I learned this summer.
Starting point is 00:01:36 But basically we're going to talk about if there's ever a non-creepy way to do it. And for those who don't know, it's when you message someone on social media in a private messaging system. So for example, in Twitter, it would be in the little messages box. Or in Instagram, it would be in the little messages box or an Instagram it would be in the private messages again DM standing for direct message not Doc Martens no as someone on our team thought earlier just sliding into your DM just slide into those Doc Martens and then we're also going to talk about getting the ick which if you watched Love Island you will know very well what that is but it's basically when you see someone and then all of a
Starting point is 00:02:08 sudden out of nowhere something happens and you feel repulsed by them and everything they do cringes you out and it's a nightmare. It's gonna be a fun one I have a lot to say on that much experience with the ick but let's not get ahead of ourselves. So what have you been up to this week Livvy? So I started my week by getting up absurdly early to work on the Golden Globes and talk about the red carpet. Ah, yes. Which this year was particularly interesting because obviously everyone was wearing black in protest of sexual misconduct in Hollywood as kind of kickstarted by Harvey Weinstein.
Starting point is 00:02:41 So it was really interesting because a lot of people were talking about how, you know, does wearing black on the red carpet really make that much of a statement and is it really gonna make a difference and how powerful really can it be? But I actually do think it is powerful. It's the first time anything like that's ever happened. It shows how, you know, women in Hollywood
Starting point is 00:03:01 are kind of taking a stand and uniting to kind of say- Not just women. Yeah to kind of just women yeah and not just women men too although i mean men always wear black on the red carpet i know but i feel like some of them really did like black shirts as well yeah true you know to make the point true um i just think it's a really interesting it sets a really interesting precedent for awards season in general um because obviously we've got the oscars coming up the grammys so i think it's it made a really strong point, particularly because at these award ceremonies,
Starting point is 00:03:28 there is such a strong kind of superficial emphasis placed on what the women are wearing. And I think in light of today's post-Weinstein heightened awareness for sexual harassment culture, it's interesting that people, and and good that people are kind of taking a stand against that and saying you know what we wear isn't necessarily the only important thing at these i mean i mean it's not it's not it shouldn't be the focal point at all which is why they're kind of taking that away by going to like the dullest color in the color wheel
Starting point is 00:04:03 yes i feel uh some would argue that black is not even a color exactly so it's kind of removing like the dullest colour in the colour wheel for their dresses. Yes, I feel some would argue that black is not even a colour. Exactly. So it's kind of removing all of that. Yeah, really interesting. I thought it was definitely striking that everyone was, well, everyone bar a handful of people. Yeah, there were a few people that didn't wear black.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Which is another very interesting issue in itself. Yeah, which was also quite a contentious issue, particularly because one woman, an actress called Blanca Blanca blanco something like that or blanca blanca it's one of those um very confusing name she wore a red satin dress with a kind of slash down the bodice um so it's quite revealing as well and it looked amazing though she did look amazing and you know she has since spoken up about why she didn't wear black and how the issue was kind of bigger than her dress which i think is also a very important point um so yeah it was an interesting interesting day um other than that not much has been going on how about you well i've had like an extra boring week because i've had the flu the flu the flu i'm still sort of getting over the flu I was hoping it might sort
Starting point is 00:05:05 of make me have like a little husky sexy voice but I don't think it's done that at all I've just like got a bit of a bunged up nose which um doesn't make anyone sound great so sadly I've been mainly in bed although I have managed to watch a fair bit of friends that's good to be fair the fact that friends has come on Netflix could not have come at better time for me because it's just you know it's real the ideal when you're ill watching you know like new Black Mirror's come out I want to watch that too but it's just not the I've got flu yeah type of TV so friends has really been you know been there for me speaking of friends getting quite can you appreciate what I did there I'm sorry sorry I'll been there for me. Speaking of Friends Can you appreciate what I did there?
Starting point is 00:05:46 Oh sorry, sorry, I'll be there for you. Very funny. Speaking of, God you find yourself hilarious says you. I do think I'm very funny but I am very funny. Speaking of Friends, there is that episode when Phoebe gets really ill and she sings Smelly Cat and she has this really sexy, husky voice. Yes!
Starting point is 00:06:02 That could happen to you. Well, let's hold out. My flu's not over yet, so I might still get sexy. Yep. There's hope. Another life update. Ugh, update? Another life update, though. For all of you who tuned in last week
Starting point is 00:06:18 when we had the wonderful Jack May on, I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to know that I can give you an update on his ridiculous dating scenario. If you didn't listen to his tale, do listen back to last week's podcast. I can confirm that he is going out with the guy in question
Starting point is 00:06:35 tomorrow, or if you're listening to this podcast on the day it comes out, today. Oh, how exciting. So, after that whole saga, they're still going out on a date. And you know that I'll be very nosy and try and find out how it went. And we'll keep you posted. This is going to be a podcast dedicated to Jack May's love life.
Starting point is 00:06:55 It'd be such a modern dating story if that actually worked out for them both. It'd be brilliant. Well, considering all we're doing is having flu, it's not that exciting. So now it is time for our Bumble bio of the week. That was really good theme music. Thanks. So it's actually very interesting because this time of year, everyone's been saying is the busiest time of the year for dating apps.
Starting point is 00:07:18 So it's when everyone's doing the sliding, not the sliding, the swiping, the matching. Maybe sliding. Maybe sliding. I mean the matching um and maybe sliding maybe sliding i mean you don't really slide into someone's dms they'll want a dating app no no anywho um so this is a guy called peter who's 27 and his bio goes i'm pretty new to this how do i order the uber okay i just want to clarify something like that did make me laugh but can we just can we talk about what he means what does he mean it's funny i know it's funny but why is it funny because when at what point is joking like he thinks it's he's on uber but get it i mean i'm really as if i had to explain that to you because i, no, because I wasn't really sure. In my mind, it was like, I'm new to this.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Like, how do I order the Uber as in to go on a date or to go? I mean, that's fully not how I read it. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not good at dating apps, clearly. Yeah, I didn't get it. I laughed, though. But I often laugh at things I don't understand. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:08:27 So that's funny whichever way you interpret it. So thanks, Peter. I feel really smart now. Good. I enjoyed that bio. I just thought it was funny. Didn't really tell me anything about him but I was like, lol.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Yeah, but I think, you know, whenever I'm on the dating apps, I look for some sort of joke rather than I like surfing and long walks and baths or do you know I'm so over um when guys like put like reviews in like hilarious anonymous tinder woman really charming young man my mum do you know I mean like so I had never seen that before but then this weekend i was looking and i saw a lot of those like six or seven and i thought them i thought they were quite funny
Starting point is 00:09:10 and original until i saw you know the sixth or seventh one i was like oh this is clearly a thing that people do yeah yeah and then it will be like it will be like stop asking me for reviews recent date or something as like the last one ah it's so funny i mean it's like marginally funny the first time you've seen it but yeah i was amused and then i was like okay this is clearly a trend we are not amused no anywho um so keeping on the technology vein let's talk about sliding into dms now we also discussed this a little bit with jack last week because he is a king of sliding into dms um so as we said this is when you're on not a dating app but a social network of some kind usually instagram or twitter and you go from you know just exchanging tweets or
Starting point is 00:10:01 commenting or liking into someone's dm so this is like a private message that only you and they can see. And, you know, it's sort of become a thing now, sliding into DMs, which is like people joke that if you slide into someone's DMs, you're making a move. You fancy them, you're trying to get in there. And this has sort of become a talking point in the past week because tech writer Holly Brockwell tweeted a picture, well, it's sort of a screen grab of a guy who had slid into her DM saying,
Starting point is 00:10:32 Hi, Holly, I hope this isn't an overstep. If it is, please ignore. I think you're really cool. Would you be interested in getting a coffee sometime? Now, she replied saying, Sorry, no, I've got a boyfriend boyfriend but thank you so much for your polite and respectful approach and i wish more guys approached me and women like this um however people responded to her sharing that image in different ways so she tweeted it saying men of twitter if you're going to do it this is how you it. Kind of like as a guide to sliding into DMs, being like this is the non-creepy way to do it. And I think, yeah, there's been mixed reactions online.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Some people have kind of supported what Holly said and been like, yeah, go him. Like, you know, well done for him for having the courage to do that and to do it in a, you know, polite, kind way. But then other people people so another writer um called rosalind warren tweeted to say god the bar is so low for men you know implying that if this is something that we're praising then it's just i mean it's just absurd because it's like because he didn't ask for nudes he's like the most polite guy in the world yeah exactly i think that's a
Starting point is 00:11:46 very valid point like this guy has shown like common courtesy standard manners been you know a normal polite human and everyone's being like wow what an amazing guy yeah i mean it says a lot it says a lot about the kind of DMs we're used to seeing. Yeah, exactly. Oh, God, the things I get. The things I get. What kind of things? What kind of things have you had?
Starting point is 00:12:15 It's just the standard stuff that women get. Like, hey, sexy. Hey, hot stuff. Yeah, or like, just like, hey, can you send me pics? Really? Or like, oh, I get. Do you know what's really weird so ages ago I wrote this article about cookholding just about the cookholding community and now I get a lot of guys basically asking if they if I would like to get involved with them in that
Starting point is 00:12:40 I also wrote about financial domination and then I get a lot of guys saying can I send you money? Really? Because that's some sort of, you know, for them that's So these are guys who've read your article, looked you up on Instagram and found you. Or Twitter See I always think that sliding into DMs is an Instagram thing and I think it's interesting
Starting point is 00:12:58 to talk about the different platforms because Instagram, my gut, so I actually have I think I've never really received a creepy sliding into DMs message but my friends have and they get them all on Instagram because Instagram is obviously kind of an aesthetic led visual platform where women and men are possibly sharing selfies of themselves they're showing the world what they look like so that can attract you know say you've got bikini pictures on your instagram feed that can then attract the creepier message so i find it interesting that people are resorting to twitter
Starting point is 00:13:33 which is obviously you know a word-based platform well i just you know i'm very good at words olivia so i just seduce people with my witty bants. Yeah, it's just funny. I think it's interesting. I think, I don't know if, you know, the message that he sent to her on Twitter, I think it's probably much more common for people to slide into DMs that way on Twitter than it is on Instagram. Well, of course, he did say like, you know,
Starting point is 00:13:57 I think you are really cool. Not saying like, I think you're really hot. Yeah, exactly. Which is why I think it's almost better if you're going to do some DM sliding it's it's less creepy inherently to do it on something like Twitter because yeah they they're attracted to the things you say rather than the images you post. Yeah I have had um guys on Instagram as well it's's absolutely jokes. I remember, like, last summer, I posted a picture of me in a swimming costume.
Starting point is 00:14:28 It wasn't, like, raunchy or anything. It was really rather zoomed out. And it was, like, from behind anyway. Like, there was nothing, you know, majorly exposed. And I wasn't, you know, it was really the year of the swimming costumes that, you know, came so high up, like, your hips and, like, everything. I did not. I was not in one of those swimming costumes that, you know, came so high up like your hips and like everything. I did not.
Starting point is 00:14:47 I was not in one of those swimming costumes. You know what I mean? Anyway. Respectful. Yeah. A respectful one piece. Quite. It was pink and had flamingos on.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Of course it did. But after I posted this picture, I had loads of guys, some I knew, some I didn't, DMing me on Instagram. Just like, oh my God, that picture, blah, blah. And then like trying to start a conversation with me. And I was just like, seriously, like you are so simple. Sorry, like I posted a picture in a swimming costume. And now you're all suddenly flocking. I mean, wow.
Starting point is 00:15:21 It was the season of chaos and all through the house, not one person was stressing. Holla differently this year with DoorDash. Don't want to holla do the most? Holla don't. More festive, less frantic. Get deals for every occasion with DoorDash. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessie Kirkshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, World's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know what thirsty meant until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no.
Starting point is 00:16:09 That's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jessie Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. So funny. I mean, like, the thing is, I do understand why people do it. Not necessarily from a creepy perspective, but this guy, for example, who did it in, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:38 the polite, right, you know, inverted commas way. If you are attracted to someone that you kind of see their presence online and you don't know them, she clarified that she did not know this person and you don't have their Facebook info, you don't have their phone number, how else do you get in touch with them? Okay, so do you know what I think is interesting?
Starting point is 00:17:00 Sorry. This guy just came, I think this was the start of their conversation he just said that whereas I would be a bit like oh I literally don't know you at all I if I was her and she you know said she was never going to go out with him anyway because she has a boyfriend um I would have been a bit like whoa like bit bold to just ask me out straight away mate can't what I would have been a bit like, whoa, like, bit bold to just ask me out straight away, mate. I would have thought it would have been better for him to, like, message her about something else, like, strike up a conversation and get to know each other a bit before asking out. There's also the fact that some people were saying, like,
Starting point is 00:17:37 it was a bit presumptuous that he's trying to ask you out on a date. Like, he could have just been literally going for a friendly coffee. But I'm like, hmm'm like I think you know. So I think that's a really interesting debate because this is something I experienced recently so I had been talking to a guy at the pub and he sent me a message. A guy you already knew? Yeah yeah yeah but not really not very well and he sent me a message on my Twitter DMs kind of in reference to something that we had been talking about. So after the pub? After the pub, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:09 In reference to something we had been talking about. We didn't have each other's numbers. We didn't have each other on Facebook, nothing. So he sent me this message and then we had a brief conversation about something else. And then a few days later, he actually ended up asking me out. Over Twitter DMs? Over Twitter DMs, yeah. conversation about something else and then a few days later he actually ended up asking me out over twitter dms over twitter dms yeah and i was talking about this with him the other day and i was like yeah but you slid into my dms and he was like what no i didn't i was just sending you a you
Starting point is 00:18:37 know friendly message about something we were talking about and i was like absolutely not i'm sorry you you then you used that as a springboard to strike up a conversation and then ask me out like am i deluded or is that what happened he definitely slid into your dms but it's really funny how he just did not see it that way at all because he didn't think he did i think he was just trying to say he didn't do you think yeah he seemed pretty confident that it wasn't a dm slide it's just quite funny because I think obviously guys and girls have very different perceptions in that and I think I don't know I just think whenever you kind of go out of your way to get in touch with someone that is I don't I don't know
Starting point is 00:19:17 maybe if he hadn't asked me out a few days later I wouldn't have thought anything of it I wouldn't have thought of it as a slide but because he did like that is a slide yeah is it not it's really I think yeah I'm glad you agree because I was like am I just really arrogant I thought that was a slide no because I haven't had many slides to compare it to I keep saying slide slide as a word is going to lose all meaning soon um i think it was a slide i like he why would he have needed to say something to you so badly if he wasn't interested in you you know on a romantic level it was just quite an unnecessary message i suppose and like you said before it's much more effective i think to talk to some to strike up a conversation about something.
Starting point is 00:20:06 You know, if you're going to message someone that you don't know very well on a social media platform, talk about something else first and then ask them out. I do agree with you that the way this guy went about it by just asking her out straight off the bat was a bit much, even though it's not creepy. It's still very forward, particularly if they don't know each other
Starting point is 00:20:24 and they've never spoken to one another before. Yeah'd be like who the hell are you yeah and i think i'm gonna meet up with you yeah exactly and it's it would be quite it's just quite a bold thing to do and they're obviously strangers so it's kind of like agreeing to a blind date in a way it's like okay i respect his boldness yeah but also i'm like i wouldn't go out with him yeah it's also interesting because you know would would we have that reaction if someone said that to us in real life in a bar if someone came up to us and was like hey i think you look really cool do you want to go grab a drink sometime i mean i would just be literally like what that just doesn't happen does
Starting point is 00:21:00 it no no people don't come up to people in bars no they really don't it's a bit i don't know i don't know i don't have any experience of that no neither no one does that anymore because it's all online it's so funny i know what have we become yeah i don't know i think it's really interesting i think this as we've you know often conclude there's no right way and wrong way to do something because different people will react different ways but i think that guy was definitely sliding into her dms in a romantic way i went oh she didn't share holly didn't share how he responded when she said oh no so she did so basically what happened is the the person that kind of disputed whether it was a date or not um tweeted her saying feeling lucky that none of the people i've texted
Starting point is 00:21:44 for coffee have replied with sos babez babe, I'm taken. I would have literally taken this to mean coffee, but then I'm old and still get biros from the bar staff to write blokes numbers on my arm. So should I be called Sandy? Possibly. I think it was. Was it? She writes for Independent Voices.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Ah, there you go then. Okay, yeah. So that's what she said. And then Holly replied and said, it was a cold approach from a virtual stranger on Twitter. Not many ways to take that really. Re really revealed he later confirmed he had asked her out and she is setting him up wait he had asked me out i'm gonna start that again holly replied it was a cold approach from his virtual stranger on twitter not many ways to take that really and then and then she explained that he he revealed to her that he had asked her out and Holly then later set him up with her friend.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Cute. So quite a happy ending. All winners here. Yeah. Well, I hope it goes well for them. I hope it's not a dating disaster. Oh, I see what you did there. Very good.
Starting point is 00:22:37 These segues, I know. So, dating disaster of the week. Thank you for sending this one in. Here goes. A few years ago when I was 26, before the age of Tinder, I met a guy in the pub one night when we were there with our respective groups of friends. We snogged, exchanged numbers and arranged to go out
Starting point is 00:22:57 for a first date the following week. The date started with us meeting once again at the pub. It was all going fine until his housemates turned up and started making faces at him through the window. They knew where he was going on the date. I felt like I was on a date with a teenager. He was 26 too. For some reason, I agreed to go back to his house to watch a film. Afterwards, when we were chatting, we heard whispering and giggling outside the room. His three housemates burst in wearing just their pants and started wrestling on the floor. The whole thing was completely inexplicable. Oh, and then he accompanied me home on a longboard. You know, like a skateboard, but longer and infinitely more uncool. Just
Starting point is 00:23:44 awful. I'm going to take a guess and reckon that that guy and all of his housemates are still single. I mean, wow! That is ridiculous. They're 26 and they're like listening in on the date and breaking in and wrestling on the floor. It's so childish. Oh my god, that's the most off-putting thing i mean i mean i would say i feel really sorry for the guy that his housemates thought it would be so hilarious to try and yeah
Starting point is 00:24:12 they do up yeah but he also took her home on a longboard which i didn't even know i didn't know that was a thing um just oh god that's just so like house-y. It's just so very embarrassing. I really, I mean, at 26. I know. That is shameful. We haven't even got there yet. No. I haven't had anything that bad.
Starting point is 00:24:35 I meant the age, but yeah. No, I know. I mean, I'm younger and I haven't had any experiences of people being extremely childish like that. Although I did date a guy a year or so ago who explained that when he was at uni, whenever one of his housemates had a girl around, he and his other housemates would like play this like ridiculous playlist of sexy music outside the room which is like kind of funny but it's quite funny also like i mean incredibly immature but yes i wonder what was on the sexy playlist i can't remember yeah probably um but anyway a hilarious story um thank you for sending it in so the next topic we're going to talk about today is the ick now I think this is so interesting because whenever I've spoken to girlfriends about
Starting point is 00:25:37 getting the ick they all know exactly what what I mean and people say oh yeah yeah the ick oh you've got the ick oh it sounds like you've got the ick whereas boys are like what the boys don't know what I mean no boys don't do what I've never heard of boys catching the ick interesting I don't know maybe they just haven't you know known what it is or maybe they just don't talk about well I think if they watched Love Island they would know what it is okay so the ick is not like a new thing, but I think they spoke about it on Love Island, didn't they? Yeah, I mean, okay,
Starting point is 00:26:09 I have a dictionary definition from Urban Dictionary. Okay, we love Urban Dictionary. We do. Okay. You could be on the chirps with a guy or girl. Everything seems to be going fine. You think you like them, but then you suddenly catch the ick.
Starting point is 00:26:23 From then on, you can't look at the person in the same way you just progressively get more and more turned off by them weirdly and maybe for no reason in particular you're grossed out by them you'll cringe at the thought of you and them together nothing will be the same you won't be able to do it any longer and eventually you have to cut it off i mean i find this so relatable yeah it's very relatable so relatable and. And it's also just very refreshing to know I'm not the only one because I've had so many occasions where I can be so into a guy, like really like everything about them, just want to spend time with them, just want to talk to them.
Starting point is 00:26:57 And then suddenly everything they do drives me crazy. Yeah. And they haven't done anything wrong. Yeah. Everything that you used to find cute and maybe sexy drives me crazy yeah and they haven't they haven't done anything wrong yeah everything everything that you used to find cute and maybe sexy now repulses you and makes you recoil and annoys you and cringes you out what is it about i so i actually think it goes back to what we were saying in another episode about i think it was the new year's resolution episode when i was saying how i
Starting point is 00:27:21 need to stop thinking about things so much because I project this kind of false reality of what the person that I'm seeing is like. And they always end up disappointing me because they never actually like that. Because I end up overthinking things and fantasizing about what that person is and what this relationship could be. And I think it just goes into that whole idea of kind of making that person up in
Starting point is 00:27:46 your head before you've got to know them properly so then when you do get to know them properly you see that they don't live up to you know how you built them up in your head and then they start to annoy you and then you get the switch and that is what I think the ick is I disagree disagree I actually don't think the ick is about finding out when someone isn't who you think they are. I just think it's something completely irrational. I don't know if it comes
Starting point is 00:28:14 down to like I think it you know I was going to say I think it always happens in the early stages of seeing someone. I agree. I think it does always happen in the early stages. Because I think if you make it past that stage I don't know if you're gonna get the ick after like a year no because because you know them well by that point I think I think it happens when you're still getting to know someone yeah it's just it's kind of like uh this like thing that just comes out of nowhere and you know when
Starting point is 00:28:41 you start dating someone I'm like I really hope I don't get the ick I hope I don't get the ick but the ick might appear you have no control over the ick and then once you've got the ick can you fight it can you push the ick away so you think it literally just comes out of thin air I do really I don't think it I don't I just know okay okay no how can it come out of thin air I don't know exactly but i mean anything can come out of thinner but i just think there's never not there's never i think there is always a reason as to why you would suddenly be unattracted to someone you know it could be a little thing that they start doing that turns you off so like for example it could be they start i don't know maybe talking in a baby voice or they start
Starting point is 00:29:25 behaving in like a really clingy or needy way maybe they make a sexist joke maybe they do something during sex that makes you feel really uncomfortable like there's all these things that you could pinpoint it to and i think trigger yeah there are all these triggers and those triggers are a sign you know they shock you and they make you recoil because you thought that person wouldn't do that because in your head they're this perfect person and they don't behave in that way so when they do it's like oh god this is who you really are and then you get the ick you know it's funny i remember uh going back to love island montana said about sam she said she'd got the ick but she was like he's done nothing wrong and she
Starting point is 00:30:06 was like I feel guilty because she didn't know why she didn't like him anymore and I've definitely had that why I can't even put my finger on what it is but it's just suddenly like no just not attract not into it not feeling it just yeah and I sort of like um I for guys if all girls are like this I'm not saying we're all like this I'm sure guys get the ick too they just don't call it the ick they just say
Starting point is 00:30:31 oh I don't fancy you anymore so is that what boys sound like? Oliver oh right Oliver like he must be friends with Richard haven't seen Richard for a while no he hasn't made an appearance he'll probably be back sometime soon.
Starting point is 00:30:46 I feel like I'm already sounding a bit more like him. You are, you're getting there. Slightly more nasal voice this week. Yeah, I don't know. The ick's an interesting one. I hope neither of us get it anytime soon. Yeah, I mean, I've definitely had it in the past. Haven't we all?
Starting point is 00:31:02 Yeah, I think we all have. I think even guys have. They just won't call it that. Maybe they will now. Yes. Hello, male listeners. If you have the ick, please tell us about it.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Please do. Please do. But please also send in your dating disaster stories. We always want to hear those. So if you do have a story to send in, please email it to us at millennial.love
Starting point is 00:31:24 at independent.co.uk or you can tweet them to us i am at rachel underscore hosie and olivia is at olivia petter one don't worry all stories will be kept anonymous sadly this is all we've got time for for today i know it always goes so quickly it really really does. It really does. Please do subscribe, rate us, review us on iTunes. This helps other people discover the podcast. And you also get notified every week when a new episode becomes available. And that's it. Thank you for listening.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Thanks, guys. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. We'll see you next time.

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