Love Lives - #19 A new app that lets you rate your dates and should school pupils be allowed to have relationships?

Episode Date: January 26, 2018

A new dating app has been released that allows you to rate and review your dates straight after gong on them. Do I Date sounds terribly Black Mirror to us, so this week we reveal why we think it's an awful idea.And speaking of bad ideas, the headmaster of a leading public school has banned his pupils from having relationships. This prompts us to look back on our own romantic escapades at school (or lack thereof) and wonder whether you could ever really stop teens from hooking up behind the school shed.We also have two exciting new launches this week: firstly, a new segment of the podcast where we offer advice on your dating dilemmas. And secondly, we've created a new Facebook group for Millennial Love - head to https://www.facebook.com/groups/millennial.love/ to join the discussion.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/millenniallove. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. Hello and welcome to Millennial Love, the Independent Lifestyle Desk's weekly podcast on love, dating and relationships, hosted by me, Rachel Hosey, Assistant Lifestyle Editor. And me, Olivia Petter, Lifestyle Writer. Each week, we're discussing the core dating issues affecting millennials today. There are endless podcasts out there about life as a millennial and also about relationships, but we didn't feel there were any that combined the two and reflected our own experiences. And that's where Millennial Love comes in. So how's your week been Livvy? What have you been up to?

It's been good, thank you. I am just preparing to go away. I'm not sure how much dating I will be doing. I'm going to California for two weeks. I'm so jealous. I'm excited. But I don't think the weather's going to be that good. It looks quite bleak. God, it's so British of me to talk about the weather isn't it it's a big part of going away that's the first thing I say about my major trip I'm going I'm going away in February and I'm already looking at the weather forecast I mean like it's gonna change from whatever's forecast but I'm still looking at it the weather really

affects your holiday yeah totally and it just you know what to pack and all that stuff well do you think it will at least be sunny i think it's yeah it's normally sunny in san francisco but it's it can be quite cold but it's usually quite yeah usually quite blue skies so that'd be nice i'm v gel what are you doing what am i doing or what have you what are you doing with your life no what have you been doing we ask the big questions here on millennial love straight to the hard stuff. I went to the NTAs this week. That's the National Television Awards. I was about to say, explain what that is because most people don't know what that is. I feel like people know what that is.

Anyway, that's the National Television Awards. And I'd never been, which was very fun and exciting. It's very glam. There were a lot of, like, the people watching was fabulous because you get everyone from, like, Towie to David Attenborough there. And it was it was a lot of fun. Like I was very fortunate to be like sitting in one of the nice boxes around the side of the arena. And it was fascinating just sort of look down everything happening on the stage and seeing all the celebrities and feeling like, oh, that's you in real life.

Yeah, but it was great. Were you fangirling? Well, Graham Norton was on our tube on the way there. Oh, no way. I mean, I was a bit fangirly, even though I've met him before. I've been to a recording of the Graham Norton show. I've seen him before, but it's still like, oh, my God, it's Graham Norton. He's so great.

Also, he got the tube. That makes me like him so much more. What a normal guy. Yeah, I know. I really liked him. And speaking of normal guys, honestly, I really just love a segue. Bio of the week. Hit me.

Okay. So this guy is called George. He's 30 years old. I will read out his bio. Yay. No bad preface there. See? Quite good. quite good I'm so pleased thank you hopefully more bearded than you natural predator of lint once

apologized to an automatic door yeah I like that too I think it weird and a bit different yeah and a bit funny but also I love lint as well and if you're gonna be a predator of anything be a predator of swiss chocolate can i get an amen i mean i'd say amen amen okay whatever it's so good um i like that he apologized to an automatic door i think that's quite sweet i don't really get that though well i feel like he's probably he's you know maybe he was a bumbling fool and he was he was bumbling not tindering hey oh god um yeah and i'll have you know that we matched how exciting yay well we'll have to see what happens with george have you messaged him no not yet okay well don't let me stay tuned anyway the first topic we're going to discuss today is actually a new app related to dating but but it's not actually a dating app. This is an app

that allows you to rate and review your dates straight after going on them. And I mean the person, not the actual evening or whatever it may be. It's called Do I Date? And the idea is to create a more open dating experience by giving you the opportunity to give your date a rating out of five and leave honest feedback about how you found their company. Some people are calling it TripAdvisor for dates. The idea is that you can find someone on the database before you go out with them if someone else has added them to this database and so you can make an account for someone on Do I Date if you have their phone number and the person in question

will then receive a text message asking for them to verify their account at which point they could say no and then they won't feature um i just think this is absolutely insane what do you think first of all why would anyone if you get a text from someone asking you to sign up for this thing why would anyone say yes why would you be like yeah i'm from someone asking you to sign up for this thing why would anyone say yes why would you be like yeah i'm really happy for you to review me like an uber driver or a restaurant like give me a rating it's so bizarre it's very black mirror there's this episode where every interaction you have with someone they then rate you on your phone and everyone had like their reputation was like a score above their heads i find this just absolutely nuts I can't see it catching on or people like yeah why would anyone

say yes okay review me unless you're so arrogant you were like I'm a brilliant date yeah but also it's kind of like thinking about dating almost as a sport it's like yeah you know you the idea is that it's I don't know it's kind of reducing dating to like going to different restaurants or to trying out different things and it's like yes to an extent you do want to you know date a few people at the same time and see what you like but that shouldn't be like encouraged you know the idea is to find someone that you like and you have a connection with the idea is not to go on as many dates as you can with the best rate, top rated daters. Because also someone else's top rated data will be, you know, someone else's worst rated data. Well, this is exactly the thing.

Like, I might go on a date with a guy and think like, oh, they made really weird jokes. They like, they weren't very chatty, blah, blah, blah. And then someone else, so I might give them quite a bad rating, whereas someone else, the jokes that that guy said, they might find hilarious. It's completely subjective.

The whole thing about dating is you're finding someone who you click with and who you get on with, and that's so subjective. That's the whole point. You have to date probably around quite a lot before you find the right person. Because, well, I do believe, you know, there's someone out there for everyone. So just because someone enjoys someone else's company doesn't mean you will also think they're a great date.

And the other way around as well. Totally. I just think it's very bizarre. It's kind of this obsession to, like, digitize absolutely every single element of our lives. And like you said, it is very Black Mirror. But I think the process of dating, you know, it's already been digitized as far as it can with dating apps. But to then turn it into this weird review thing where we become essentially Uber drivers of of dating it's just very strange you know what i find this so funny because a for a long while i think this is sort of ended now but for a long while people would put in their dating app bios their uber ratings um for a long time mine was

five and i was really chuffed i've now gone down to 4.75 mine was never five i think mine's like i feel like everyone starts at 5. It must have been 5 once. Just not for very long, clearly. No, I don't think I'm a very good passenger. I blame my friends. I blame my drunken friends. I mean, sure.

Yeah, it's the friends. No, it's never me. I'm always very sober. Didn't you recently tell a tale about Fully Asleep in Uber? And I mean, I can't think why your rating isn't higher quite frankly and that has happened like two times two or three times so maybe that's why if there you go um yeah I've completely lost my train of thought now I've been talking about you but I was just gonna say also I have a question so this date thing does it

apply just to dates or does it apply to sex presumably not sex but if it did well it depends what you do on your date doesn't it that's true but can you imagine if it then becomes a sex thing and you're like okay three out of ten for intercourse seven out of ten for foreplay what kind of a world do we live in where that's something we do that would be so awful but again subjective what one person it's only a matter of time until that becomes a thing. That's awful. I dread that day. Rate your sexual prowess. Oh, Jesus.

No, God forbid. That's just around the corner. It's very holy, this episode of Millennial Love. I feel like maybe there was some thinking behind this was that it would make things safer. Because, you know, everyone... I love stalking people like i will i've written about you mean on social media just clarify oh yes just clarify that i don't i don't physically

stalk anyone that's very wrong um but even you know i do this before every before i go out with any guy but to be honest with you as soon as i will match with someone on an app or meet them in real life i will stalk the hell out of them I will find them on Facebook I'll find them on LinkedIn I'll find them on Insta I'll find them on Twitter I'll that I'll like go down deep but see then an app like this probably sounds like it would be right up your street because you can find out lots of information about them I do I'm the opposite I don't want to find out anything about them no see I do want to find out like I'm like what did you get in your a levels what were your hobbies were you a prefect't want to find out anything about them. No, see, I do want to find out, like, I'm like, what did you get in your A-levels?

What were your hobbies? Were you a prefect? I want to know all this stuff because I'm weird like that. And I'm also like, where did you go on holiday? And do you do funny Instagram captions? Do you do hashtags? I need to know all this stuff. But I don't necessarily want to know, like,

if some other girl's been like, he didn't offer to pay on the date or like he didn't kiss me on the first date or I don't want to know that stuff but also even if they didn't do those things on one date what's to say they would they would or wouldn't do it on the next date you know it's like I just think it's such a defunct system um because like you said it is so subjective it depends who that person is with and how comfortable they feel and obviously that will vary from person to person totally but also I think it I'm kind of the opposite of you I don't really like doing the whole stalking thing which is why this app really

kind of repels me because I like to keep all of the kind of intrigue in dating and it makes it it makes it more exciting it makes it more fun and you find out these things for yourself when you find them out I like to save my time I like if I'm gonna find deal breakers at some point down the road I'm like I'm gonna find them first and then not waste my time on anything and I know that's awful and some people will say oh you shouldn't dismiss someone because xyz because you might still get on with them blah blah blah whatever however I've had occasions where for example I was gonna go out with this guy and then I found out he'd nearly gone to prison for glassing someone in a club two years earlier. So, yeah, I then did not go out with him because I found these news articles.

So, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I can see why you'd be cautious. That's fair enough. Yeah. Twas the season of chaos and all through the house, not one person was stressing. Holla differently this year with DoorDash. Don't want to holla do the most? Holla don't.

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Acast.com I mean, yeah, it could have been a disaster date. You're becoming so, like, pernickety on these things. You know, I really don't plan them. You'd think I'd plan them before each episode, but they just come to me. Because they're so brilliant and effortless. Now I'm feeling there's going to be pressure, because it's not always going to be so flawless. Hit me with your disaster date, Hosie.

All right. Thank you for sending this one in. Here goes. About this time last year, I went on a bumble date with a guy who was my height exactly, which is five foot four. I didn't say anything about this, but he then spent the first 20 minutes telling me how heightest all girls are. He then told me he didn't like nicknames and but he then spent the first 20 minutes telling me how heightist all girls are. He then told me he didn't like nicknames and would call me by my first name.

He accused me of being a vegetarian when I ordered a meat-free pizza, and then told me off for not eating the crusts. He didn't believe that I'm a meat-eater and I just wanted an aubergine pizza. He said I was just saying that to impress him. and I just wanted an aubergine pizza. He said I was just saying that to impress him. Then finally, he told me his last girlfriend dumped him for being mean to her when he was drunk. The whole thing lasted about two hours but felt like a lifetime

and then he tried to kiss me as we parted ways. God, there's so much that's awful about this. First of all, clearly suffering from short man syndrome and at five foot four, mate, I don't blame you. I'm sorry for you. Poor small that's that is small that is small but also like smaller girls though there are smaller girls and if you're gonna be that small there's nothing you can do about it you just gotta embrace it embrace it don't talk about it in the first date and be like oh god i hate how girls are so high test and also high test is not a word like just not a thing

do you know what the pizza thing makes me laugh so much. I actually had my very first Tinder date, had a bad experience with a pizza, which sounds a bit dodgy and sexual. But do you know what? I might save that story for another episode, to be honest. But I can relate.

I can really relate to this. Also, I love an aubergine pizza and I also eat meat, so I totally get what you're saying. Me too, but I love that she said he accused me of being a vegetarian. That's really weird.

Like it's some defamatory thing. It's hilarious. Yeah, and that he thought that she was trying to impress him by being like,

no, I swear I eat meat. Yeah. And then I'm sorry, telling her to eat the crusts. Yeah, weird. What is that? I hate food waste

but I'm not going to tell someone to eat their crusts. I love the crust and I actually went out for pizza on Sunday with a group of friends and one of my best friends who I always got pizza with Did you have a veganuary friendly pizza? I did and oh my god Does that mean no cheese at all or vegan cheese? Yeah it was so joyless

It's like eating a hot dog without a sausage or a burger without a bun So you just had bread with tomato on basically Bread with tomato sauce which is but it's not even like tomato sauce it's like bread dipped in pasta sauce yeah it was just so sad i feel for you it was yeah it actually really upset me anyway let's not talk about that so my friend yeah it's too hard um so my friend lydia who i went to have this pizza with she always um saves her crusts till the very end.

And I always ask her why she does that. And she's like, well, it's more like logic and it's more, you know, being practical because I want to fill up on all of the toppings. And then once I've finished those,

I'll assess the crust situation. And if I'm still hungry, I'll eat them. Yeah, get you. So it's like an orderly fashion. She always does that. I do that. Yeah.

So it makes sense. I think, you know, crusts are a very personal thing yeah for sure some people love them i think they're definitely inferior to the rest of the pizza oh see i like them because they're really thick and they're quite doughy yeah and i'm a texture person i want the toppings okay yeah unless it's like cheese stuffed in the authentic italian way i've never had like dips which also definitely not authentic. Dips are a game changer. If you have hummus, I know this might be controversial, but hummus, pizza, I mean hummus and anything.

I could bloody bathe in hummus. I add hummus to every meal. Me too. If in doubt, add hummus. In every life situation. Probably work as a face mask. Then you can lick it off. I don't know what you do in your free time. face mask lick it off anyway thanks for sending the story and it sounds like a

disastrous date and we loved it now let's move on to talk about our next discussion point of today which is dating at school now you might be thinking why are you talking about school? You're millennials, you're graduated, you're working. The reason for this is the headmaster of a leading public school in Wales has banned pupils from having relationships, saying he would expel students who have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Now, this was all revealed in a leaked email. It was from Toby Belfield, who is the principal of how do i don't know how you pronounce this school ruthen ruth that's how it's spelt but i really don't know

yeah it's a school in north wales and it's um cost you know 34 500 pounds a year it's a top school it's a co-ed boarding school and he said that he strongly disapproves of students engaging in romantic relationships because it distracts them from their studies. Now since this has all come out he's slightly backtracked and said he was just trying to dissuade people from relationships they won't actually be expelled but I mean he clearly sent that email in the first place. It's just bizarre so he was interviewed by the Daily Post and he said I do not tell children that having a relationship is wrong. My email clearly said having a relationship whilst at school is unnecessary and damaging to their education. Pupils will not be summarily expelled for being in a relationship.

They will be given the opportunity to review their current romantic situation. My belief is that they and their parents will put their education first. I mean, wow. It's just ridiculous. First of all, you're talking about 16 to 18 year olds. You know, they are legally able to have sex. By 18, they are legally adults and you're telling them not to engage in romantic relationships. It's very patronising. First of all, it's very patronising. It's incredibly controlling. He clearly hasn't had good sex in a long time.

I think he needs a good banging. Clearly. But it's just so bizarre. As someone who was lucky enough to go to a really lovely co-ed boarding school as well, I can tell you that one of the only ways you get through the boredom of those long, cold winter nights is by going... Because you're in the middle of... I was at least in the middle of the countryside. Did you have to sneak into the boys' houses, though? Or did you go to the shed behind the cricket pavilion?

Okay, so basically. Oh God. So there was all kinds of things that happened on campus after dark at our school. So from, I think from year nine, which is, you know, 13, 14, you're allowed to go on campus. I don't know if this is still the case, but it was when I was there. You're allowed to go on campus i don't know if this is still the case but it was when i was there you're allowed to go on campus from 9 p.m to 10 p.m after you've done your homework on campus so you were allowed to kind of roam the ground to the ground yeah you were allowed to be on the grounds um so often this would be the time when students would meet up who were dating you know and i say dating in inverted commas. Yeah I mean they weren't dating were they? No but they would go

I mean they kind of were they would go on like walks again inverted commas around the campus. They weren't really walking? Well they were sometimes escapades there was sometimes. Were you dating boys at school? Yeah oh god yeah everyone did and you would go to all these little spots there was like the garden shed there was you know the stables it was like all these little places that people would go and it was so funny I remember once I was going on a walk I was going on walks with this guy so like the you know millennial equivalent equivalent to seeing someone would be going on a few walks with them a couple nights a week and I'd been seeing this guy and and you were how old oh like 16 like 17 and I'd lost interest a bit um and then I started texting

this other boy who was three years older oh my gosh I must have been I must have been 15 because he was like I'm sorry when you're at school like what year you're in is a big deal oh I know you were going for boys three years older than you. Yeah, I know, right? So this guy was like a bit of a big dog in, you know, upper sixth, the top year of the school. And he was like... He had balls, he did. I think I peaked at school.

Anyway, that's besides the point. So this guy wanted to go on a walk with me. Wait, the old one? The old one. And I was like, oh, great. Okay. But then the guy I was seeing at the time, who was in year also wanted to hang out that night and I said oh I'm sorry I'm really not feeling well you know like oh my god I'm sick yeah so then

I went on this walk with this other guy and oh my god it was so awkward we bumped into this the guy I was supposed to see and it was so awkward I was with this guy we were walking and talking did you prefer the older one yeah he was way hotter and and the fact that he was three years old I hold such an allure when you're at school he yeah it gave me mega cool points there were boys in my year who would like be like getting together with girls two years below or something and it would be the guys in my year who would be getting together with girls two years below or something. And it would be the guys in my year who were kind of lame. And they'd be getting with girls who were really beautiful and charming and popular from two years below.

And I'd be like, if you're in the same year, you would not be getting together. But it's just like the fact that they're that little bit older just makes them seem more attractive because it's school. It's all about what year you're in. It's all about power dynamics between the years. Totally. And anyway, it was really awkward and awful. Messy. Yeah, it was messy, but it was fun. And I just think at a boarding school, you've got nothing to do.

You know, they'll all start taking drugs and drinking and smoking. I mean, we did all that too, but like they will do more of that if they're not allowed to date each other. It just seems bizarre. I mean, the thing is, I'm sure that pupils at this school and all schools, you know, would have been when they were trying to snog and whatever,

they'd try and do it without being seen anyway and try and be like hiding, like you said, behind the shed or whatever. Yeah. It's not going to stop them. Like exactly. They're still going to do it. You know,

they're like, you're a teenager. They've got hormones. Yeah like they've got hormones about say they're at the peak of their hormonal development there's no way they're gonna stop seeing people exactly I mean I just think it's ludicrous as well like to distract from your studies there are so many things that distract from your studies yeah I just think social media yeah exactly social media is probably worse ban smartphones don't ban dating. It's quite funny. I listen to your stories and I'm like, gasp.

Did you never date anyone at school? I was really a late bloomer. Okay. I think for most of my school time I was a bit like, ew, boys. Were you in all-girls school? No. Okay. Everyone always says that to me Really?

I think because Clearly I just A. I'm very girly B. I'm probably just a bit useless with men Everyone always thinks I went to an all-girls school And I didn't It was mixed It was a very nice school

I was very lucky It was day and boarding And I was day Right So maybe the boarders were all Getting up to this stuff Yeah Although no To be honest with you I know day people were as well I was just um I don't know I actually did rather well in my school exams and

stuff and maybe this is why because I wasn't you know distracted by boys all the time okay I did well I did okay too okay and actually that it's not like I like I had so many school crushes it was so much fun like I remember there was this one boy in the year above me and there was one like every Thursday like he'd be coming out of a classroom and then my next period would be I'd be going in and I'd always be so excited because I'd see him for like 10 seconds and so like that was clearly distracting. Oh my God, I sound like such a harlot in comparison to you. Oh my God, yeah. I'd be like, when did he touch my arm?

So funny. You were head girl at school as well, weren't you? Well, I mean. Just say it, you were. Yeah, proud. Yeah, well, yeah. But it depends like, anyway, it's a long story let's just leave it um anyway yeah i don't think it's a good idea that this guy has

banned it's just not gonna work clearly he knows it's ridiculous anyway because he's backtracked and parents are gonna criticize him and write letters and it's yeah it's ridiculous he's just a prude that needs to get laid. I hope he's listening. I hope he is too. I'm sure he's an eager millennial love listener. Well, maybe he will be now. Anyway, we are very excited to announce that this week

we are launching a new segment of the podcast. Whoop, whoop. Now, this is something we've been thinking about doing for a while because sort of okay before we started the podcast people friends would come up to me and Olivia and ask for dating advice I think purely because we are single go on dates write about relationships then this obviously increased when we started millennial Love. And then we started getting more and more messages from listeners that, you know, we don't know personally,

asking for advice in their dating and relationship situations. So we obviously completely recognize that we're not relationship experts. We don't have any qualifications in this area, but we do have quite a bit of experience. And obviously this is something we're so interested in. So we are launching a dating dilemma advice section. Really driving home the alliteration. Dating disaster, dating dilemma. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot we can do here, to be honest. There is a lot we can do.

Yeah, it's good. I like that. So we are starting this week. And we would love you to send in any questions any issues you're having because we want to talk about them and obviously we'll keep them anonymous and share them with the listeners obviously caveat we are not professionals we are not experts no advice but it gives us a good opportunity to kind of bring up interesting points of discussion that is clearly they're clearly on people's minds and they're really worrying people a good opportunity to kind of bring up interesting points of discussion that is clearly that are

clearly on people's minds and they're clearly worrying people yeah and obviously you know we're not saying you have to do whatever we say all we're gonna do is give our opinions totally so here we go hi Olivia and Rachel I've really been enjoying listening to Millennial Love I especially like how personal you make it I was wondering if you'd be able to offer some advice. Up until recently, I've avoided any dating situation and I've only had one kind of boyfriend right at the start of uni. I'm now 22, moved back home and decided to download Bumble after being inspired by millennial love. As someone who withdraws as soon as someone gets close, making the first move was terrifying, but I messaged a few guys nonetheless. I'd been messaging a few people before exchanging numbers with two of them,

and I've been WhatsApping and texting both for about a month. I've been on a couple of dates with both guys, and I really enjoy each of their company, but in very different ways. One is currently training to be an officer in the army, so he lives at Sandhurst, while the other is a biology graduate working in an officer in the army so he lives at sandhurst while the other is a biology graduate working in digital marketing in the city i was wondering if you'd be able to offer your opinion obviously i can't date them both and it's getting to the point where i need to make a decision prior to this i couldn't believe one person would like me so for two to do so i'm

feeling rather overwhelmed thank you in advance. God she sounds so sweet thank you so much for sending this in. Yeah it's a really sweet message and that last line almost makes me feel a bit emotional I mean you sound divine you sound so lovely I can totally believe multiple boys like you. Absolutely I know what you mean though it can be hard sometimes particularly if you're someone that doesn't really date very much and you had a kind of boyfriend yeah I think we've all had a kind of boyfriend runs been like oh but I think my main my main piece of advice here is it doesn't matter like the only information she's given us about these two guys is their

jobs and that doesn't matter that's completely irrelevant to who she should go on a date with in my opinion I think you need to the kind of questions she needs to be asking are who does she feel more comfortable around who does she feel she can be herself with more who does she feel more ease with who makes her laugh you know I think though it's more about the relationship that you have so far rather than the person. Because so often you see couples and they're so different and you're like, how are you two together? But it's so irrelevant what those two people are. And people always say, oh, you fall in love with someone who you least expect. And I just think it's fundamentally about how you click with one another.

just think it's fundamentally about how you click with one another and I don't think that necessarily you know what they do for a living or where they where they happen to live it doesn't it doesn't necessarily matter I think she needs to just think about how she feels in those two different situations and quite frankly there's no reason why she can't date them both at the same time until she figures that out if she feels comfortable doing that yeah I completely agree with you I think you know dating two guys at once is potentially not ideal it can get a bit tricky but I don't think she's under any obligation to you know cut one of them off right away because if she's anything like me then you can change your mind about a guy very quickly and if you sort of cut it off with one then go on another date with

the guy and then that that one suddenly does mean to turn you off you'll be like oh I wish I hadn't ended it with the other one yeah exactly and there's no need to cut things short if you still are interested in both of them I think think other good tests you can do is, you know, when you get a text message from them, which makes you feel more excited? Which one makes you get butterflies in your tummy? And another test, you know, if you like to drink alcohol from time to time,

next time you're drunk, who are you thinking about? Who are you wanting to message but trying to stop yourself from messaging and before you go to sleep who are you thinking about and who do you picture in your future when you think about next Christmas who are you thinking might be in your life totally it's difficult obviously if you see both. But I think it is, it has to come down to how they make you feel. Yeah, totally. And I think also, again, I'm going to sound like a harlot here, but if you feel comfortable sleeping with both of them,

I think that can be a real watershed moment because when you have sex with someone, you see their home or they see yours. You know, you wake up with them. You kind of take things to the next level in terms of intimacy and that can be really beneficial in terms of showing you how you feel about someone and how you feel about taking that relationship forward and developing things um so I think that can be you know if she feels comfortable doing that that can be really helpful that's the thing though you can sort of think of it two ways

though because then there's also the chance that if you do sleep with one of them and then decide nah then you might think oh maybe it would be better if I hadn't done that but also why why should that be a thing

it depends completely on the individual i think yeah but um i'm just saying i think it can shed some light i think you need to try and not stress out about this too much it's like actually a very nice position to be in have two guys who very you really like and who both seem to like you thus far. It's like the ridiculous dilemma of having two job offers and not knowing which to take. Yeah, but I think also just relax. She's a young girl.

She's not going to necessarily marry either of these guys. It's just who you enjoy spending your time with more and who you want to give your time up for. And I don't think either of them will look badly on you if they knew you were dating someone else. Because the fact of the matter is, it's normal. Yeah, completely. It's not potentially great, but it's how it is.

Until, like, you become exclusive. You know, it's very acceptable in this day and age. Totally. To be dating multiple people. And, you know know you've only been on two dates each um they both sound like interesting guys like being in the army working digital marketing cool jobs cool guys you know i feel like they're both they're both good options so don't don't rule either of them out because the fact of the matter is the more you get to know them, something will turn you off. Sorry to be depressing.

You'll get the ick at some point from one of them. I mean, if you're anything like us. Yeah, we get the icks. You're going to break up with them both. Jokes, you're not really. You might marry one of them and I would love that so much. Tell us if that happens.

No, but also just tell us anyway. We'd love to hear what you decide to do um because we're nosy but we hope this helps a little bit anyway it's a really tricky situation to be in but there's no right or wrong which i think is an important thing to remember very well you just have to do with what you feel at the time and you i feel like don't have regrets whatever you decide to do because it it was what you wanted to do at the time mmm I agree no regrets get that tattooed on your forehead maybe not I think we've um X X what's the word ex funded expounded X I don't know please keep going exhausted there you go

mate was that it anyway we're done with advice we're done we're done we're done see ya

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