Love Lives - #2 The perfect man and woman, the worrying rise of sex robots and who should pay on a first datetitled Episode

Episode Date: September 28, 2017

In the second episode of Millennial Love, we discuss Match.com’s study which has revealed the perfect man and woman, the worrying rise of sex robots and the divisive question of whether a man or a woman should pay on the first date.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/millenniallove. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. Hello and welcome to Episode 2 of Millennial Love. We hope you enjoyed our first episode and we are really excited to be back. Today we have myself, Rachel Hosey, me Olivia Petter and me Jochen Epple. And the first topic we're going to talk about today is a very interesting results of a new study by Match.com, the dating site. Now they released this, the results of this study that basically was saying what is the ideal man and woman so this study that basically was saying what is the ideal man and woman um in the uk and we were really surprised by some of the things um they found like the main thing we would take away is that men like blonde blue-eyed women shock horror and but women like average men with their word not ours dad bods now what do you guys think the dad bod thing is just so bizarre

i'm sorry that is so strange why why would women i know it's kind of cool but like what is it about dad bod i like to think it would go the other way and then like men would also like women who don't look like supermodels but i I don't think it does. Yeah, maybe this is the start of the mum bod. You know, is that... Mum bod. Yeah, maybe that's what's... Maybe this is where we're going.

Just general portliness. I think that's what we need. That should be a thing. I think it's like when men describe women as... What do they say? What do they say? Like, you want to have something to cuddle. Is that a similar thing to the dad bod thing?

Childbearing hips. Childbearing hips, exactly. A previous male companion of mine once told me I was highly cuddleable, and I took that as a compliment. He meant it as a compliment. I don't know how he meant it someone a friend of mine once described his girlfriend as voluptuous and she was so upset oh wow yeah it's like when you call a boy cute they don't like that generally do they uh no well i speak as a man with a baby face so i'm kind of used to it and also one dimple as well so i'm like

semi-cute um but yeah i mean i don't i don't particularly mind it like i mean i'm kind of used to it. And also one dimple as well, so I'm like semi-cute. But yeah, I mean, I don't particularly mind it. Like, I mean, I kind of would take it as a compliment. I'd rather be cute than also sort of cute, just like slightly unnerving. I wouldn't want to do that. No, I've never described a man as slightly unnerving. I mean, I would probably just avoid him if he was. Yeah.

The other interesting thing about this survey is that it found that the the most attractive profession a woman can have apparently is to be a freelancer well first of all are freelancing what well exactly but like what is attractive about sitting at home all day in your pajamas eating ice cream at whatever time you please like that's what freelancers do like what do they think that freelancers do? I think you've just made a lot of freelancers really angry. The freelancers I know spend their days in their pyjamas and revel in that joy.

Also, it's interesting because, I mean, like, people don't want to talk about salary. Like, high salary jobs are supposedly attractive, whereas freelancing is quite volatile. Like, it's not as if you have a steady income but that is interesting i do find the whole idea of like jobs attract becoming attractive very strange like i don't really it's not really consideration for me i don't know if that's just maybe i'm in the minority but i mean it probably sounds really shallow but are there jobs i find more attractive than others? Yes. Yeah, I mean, women said they prefer doctors and vets.

Yeah. Which I totally get because it's the caring thing and it's the kind of... But then you also have to be intelligent to be a doctor or a vet. Shows commitment. You know, you've got to work hard. But interesting that it's not... It's clearly not about the money, though, because otherwise you think people would go for, like,

bankers and lawyers and accountants and, you know, really fun jobs like that and the money. But I sort of wonder if the freelancer thing is actually about maybe men just sort of think that if a woman is freelance or self-employed, she can literally just fit around a man's schedule. Yeah, always around. Yeah, which, I mean, I think it's just,'s just i don't like it probably isn't true either i mean i did say my freelancers freelancers i know spend all day at home but they work ridiculous hours because they set it themselves so they could be working till like three in the morning whereas you know you won't unless you're a banker i suppose you wouldn't necessarily be in the office that late. So it's totally opposite. Yeah, a peculiar space, for sure.

I think as well, the interesting thing as well is going back to the idea of the average build. Because average in what way? It didn't really say. So if you're talking about average height as well, that is really interesting because actually, like, from what I hear from my guy friends who, like, use dating apps, so many women specify, like, under six foot need not apply. Jochen, have you seen that? I have seen that, yes. Have you? Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, not so much.

Like, I feel if they have that in their bio, there's going to be a lot of other demands as well. You know what I mean? It's a red flag. Yeah, precisely. I mean, it's maybe not the kind of person I particularly would want to go for. But, I mean, speaking as a guy who's 6'7", like... Supposedly. Okay.

I think you're up in 6'5 tops, but I mean tops it's a malicious rumour I'm 6 foot 6 at the very least I'm a liberal 6 foot 7 6 foot 6 and a half everyone rounds up I don't think I've ever been shunned

because of my height whereas I know some of my small friends certainly have small male friends so yeah that is interesting. Quite interestingly I actually found a study from last year that concluded that height is the factor women care about most in a man and they found that a greater height difference in a couple was positively related to the wife's happiness which I think is crazy but they did also find that that the happiness that the wife got from how much taller her husband was than her decreased over time and once you've been married for 18 years it was completely redundant which I think is hilarious so funny it's like what is it the

novelty of I don't know dating someone taller than you I think it's at the end of the day I think a lot of women like feeling protected yeah as even as fiercely independent as you may be a lot of women like that you want to feel small as well but just because someone's tall doesn't mean they're going to protect you no I guess it depends just because they're tall they can be super lanky and have no muscles

they're not necessarily lanky no I know but they're not necessarily going to punch up some dude that flirts with you in the cinema or something they probably wouldn't but anyone should ever do that anyone should ever do that ever

definitely thinking of a film I once totally insulted a guy I was dating when I said oh you know plenty of girls like lanky guys meaning like I was one of them and he was so offended that i he thought i was calling him lanky and anyway it's like he didn't say

well i didn't think so that's why i've said it over a certain height unless you're like an absolute behemoth you're gonna be you're gonna be lanky aren't you exactly there's nothing wrong i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. Yeah. But anyway, as the study shows, average, also great. Yeah, well, that's nice, isn't it? It's not aspire to be average. Ambitious. Breaking news happens anywhere, anytime. Police have warned the protesters repeatedly, get back.

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I know. Anyway, another interesting thing we've been talking about recently, which has had a lot of press and a lot of coverage, is a very worrying thing. It's the rise of sex robots. And these are exactly what they sound like. But they're scarily lifelike some pictures came out recently from inside um one of these like factories these workshops where they create them um in the US this is a place

called Realbotics in San Diego and they create these dolls that are so technologically advanced they can talk and even simulate orgasm during sex it's crazy it's so creepy i just also find it really creepy what they look like as well because we were saying this earlier that they're between i think they weigh between 75 pounds and 110 pounds so they're no more than 49 kilos it's nothing which is the size of a small child i mean they are so so tiny and you know you said some of them are i think five foot ten tall which means they're even slimmer um and then they've got like i don't know five different faces but 42 different types of nipples yeah it's crazy they actually have they have six body shapes 16 faces five tones. You can choose the eye colour, the hair, the breast size.

You can choose if you want there to be hand-painted features like freckles and veining. And the crazy thing is they have 14 different labias, which can be removed and washed in the dishwasher. That's a small print. Imagine just getting out your plates and bowls and, oh, a labia. Oh, my God. What do you think you're good i very very disturbing i think i mean on the very very face of it maybe just like it's just like a natural progression from i mean because like porn is just like it gets even more and more

like i know high production quality maybe it's not act of progression but i don't think it is because it's just there's when it's like a physical thing and when it's so close to mimicking like a real life woman i mean it's a very psychological thing as well like it's a very um i feel like power comes into it quite a lot especially the fact that i mean like for example some of them i forget the name, but some of them are programmed to be submissive, which is very peculiar. I was reading about it earlier and I saw some people arguing that if people have these kind of tendencies, isn't it better that they're taking them out on a doll? But then, obviously, I think that it just kind of normalizes it and kind of like makes it acceptable and then if you do you know kind of come to contact with a

real person it's gonna be hard to differentiate between you know your actions of a robot and actions of a human which is very peculiar concept what really worries me is the fact that a robot there's no notion of consent a robot can't give consent if you have a sex robot you just think it's you know it's gonna happily have sex with you whenever you want it to and there's that whole idea about everyone was talking about this frigid pharaoh robot which and there's been a lot of talk about it i don't know if anyone's actually seen it if it exists um but it's supposed to have this setting like you said that um you can program the doll to resist your sexual advances and that's basically allowing men to like act out rape fantasies which is so messed up and i just i think if if you can do that on a doll or a robot, I think that is going to, you know,

make you have those impulses with real women because they're so lifelike. It's going to be hard to differentiate. I just, I think as well, how is a man going to react when they've had experience with a robot and then they, you know, are with a woman who has free will and can't just be programmed to be exactly what you want her to be and like these these robots are crazy you can

program them to like recite your favorite poetry it's so creepy and the way they legitimize it they say that oh you know well they're not replicating women we're not you know robots have no rights kind of thing but that like you said that makes it no better and yeah even worse no it's even worse and a lot of the men who have these robots are married with kids and their wives don't mind that they have these things living in their house with them there was that guy that went on this morning with his robot and said that his robot has a family mode she tells jokes to the kids they play with her and how weird is that and like the kids growing up as well like having that as like your mother figure yeah the thing is clearly so many people like us are totally disgusted by it but clearly there are also loads of people who

are into it i mean it's crazy these these robots the ones in San Diego, can cost up to £11,700, which is insane. But apparently there's like a backlog of orders for weeks and weeks and weeks. And because in Austria, prostitution is legal. And apparently there's a growing trend there where people come to brothels and they prefer robots over sexual intercourse with a human, which is messed up. Because they'll do whatever they say. Yeah, I presume so. And, yeah, it's like the industry, the whole sex tech thing,

is really booming and really growing, and I think it's scary. Yeah, it is. I mean, even if you did get one of these and you weren't, I mean, you had a very, like, straightforward approach to it. The whole idea of, like, the manufacturers being able to, like, if it was all, like, smart, you know, like, smart technology, they'd be able to tell, like, when you had sex, like, how long you had it for. And all this data would just be, like, collected, which is entirely terrifying. Like a Fitbit. Yeah, but for how many times you

go at it like that's just that's really scary like the most intimate thing just to be you know and wasn't someone hacked that that's that's i mean there's a lot there's a lot of them question i'm asking questions here you have had 16 orgasms today yeah can you imagine but you know what that's actually not far off i remember a while ago it was i think it was um you know what? That's actually not far off. I remember a while ago, I think it was earlier this year, there was this big announcement about a company making what was essentially called a smart condom. It was essentially a condom ring, or a penis ring or whatever. And it was literally like a Fitbit for sex,

and it would tell you how many thrusts you did, how many calories you burn and the idea is that then you store all this data in an app and you can connect with your friends and compare i mean what it's not a healthy idea is it that's wearable tech gone too far that's really scary anyway should we move on to a slightly lighter note? Yes. So the final topic for discussion today is one that is always really divisive, or it is whenever I talk to my friends anyway. Who should pay on the first date? Because obviously, you know, going back into however many years ago,

as far as I'm aware, it was very normal that a man would always pay. Whereas now, you know, we're all for equality. Should that still be expected? So many women don't want it. What do you guys think? I mean, my philosophy is always go half and half. I don't really see how you can go wrong with that. Because you're not offering to pay, so it's not patronising. You're not asking them to pay, which is just, like, rude. I mean, it's just I don't see any reason why that wouldn't be a good thing. I feel like it could be a minefield for men

because they think that some women will be offended if they don't offer to pay and some women will be offended if they do. I would like to throw back to a moment in one of my favorite tv shows love island i don't know if you watched it but um there was a moment of debate with camilla and johnny two of the characters and i like how you called them characters yeah yeah well that actually just came out but yes they probably were anyway um they were talking about dating, what their first date would be like. And Camilla was like, would you pay? And Johnny was like, yeah, of course I would. I'd be offended if you didn't let me pay.

And she was really taken aback by that and kind of said, really? I'd be offended if you said that you, if you insisted on paying. And then he goes, you're a feminist, aren't you? And she was kind of gobsmacked and was just said, shouldn't we all be feminists? And then they had this kind of weird tiff. And they stopped dating on the show after that. I just thought that was so interesting that he had such a strong opinion about it that he found it almost offensive if a woman was going to be like, oh no, I want to split it with you.

He found it almost offensive if a woman was going to be like, oh, no, I want to split it with you. I have dated a guy who told me that he insists on paying for the first three dates. Three dates? That's too much. Do you know, I can sort of think, yeah, Jochen's like, hell no. You're a bilster bear. Yeah. I can kind of, like, I don't like there to be inequality. And I, so, but if, if the, I sort of feel like the person who asks the other one out

should sort of get the first thing. But more often than not, in my experience, that's literally like the first round of drinks. Because usually I'm going to a bar or something. So if the guy asks me out and they sort of get the first two drinks I'll just get the next two yeah they'll get the next two and that may end up that after that one day they've actually spent more than I have but then it just means that when we go out again if we make it to a second date I'll then get the first thing then yeah and I don't I don't feel like i'm going to fight someone to like if they've

paid like a tenner more yeah i feel i feel like offering to pay for something is not that's not offensive buying someone a drink is just a nice gesture if you're on a date or whatever but like when it's a meal i mean i mean we're all like you know women owners all fairly fully stretched like it means quite a lot of money when you, especially if you're in a nice place. So I feel like buying a drink or something, that's fine, but I really don't see any harm in just going and touching the meal. No, I would never expect a guy to pay for my whole meal. No, neither.

But neither would I if they really insisted. Would you be offended if the guy was like, no, I'm going pay I just I honestly I get so awkward about the whole thing I've actually ended up paying for the whole date for the last like three dates with different guys that I've been on because I've been too awkward about it like say they go to the bathroom or something and then they bring the check over I'll be like oh yeah okay I'll just I'll just pay for it all because I just get too nervous about being like oh so how should we spend this or I just can't deal I would literally rather pay the bill than have the awkward conversation or have the awkward like

reach and they'll be like oh no I've got this and I'll be like oh are you sure oh really oh that's okay don't worry I just I can't deal so I just pay it's awkward I mean it is a good premise for a second date you know like if you pay like well you get the next one oh that's a good tactic i have some girlfriends though who literally feel so strongly about like switching things equally that they would you know argue with someone and i have a girlfriend who says she just doesn't want to feel like she owes a man anything be that money or sexual favors or yeah anything i kind of agree with that as well. That's why I would feel uncomfortable if a guy kind of just paid for it or... I don't know.

It depends what it is as well. If it's like a really fancy meal, you know, and it's a really nice restaurant or whatever, I don't know, but if... It also depends on your circumstances. Yeah, and your age. Exactly. When I was a student,

I was dating an investment banker who was quite a bit older than me. And, like, he did pay for more stuff because it was kind of just jokes. Like, I literally had no money. And he obviously had, well, I presume, a decent amount. If you're aware of the fact that he was earning money. Also, he's not going to want to come to some, like, pub with you oh my god exactly i suggested one place once and he was like

no no all right so if he's gonna want if he's gonna insist on going to nicer places then like i would expect him to foot the bill yeah fair enough he i that made me develop a taste for good wine which was then so problematic when it ended and I had to go back to being a student and affording tragic wine. Echo falls. Yeah. Well, you know, there are worse things. Anyway, it's probably about what we've got time for today, isn't it, guys? I was like it.

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