Love Lives - Emma Louise Connolly and Oliver Proudlock on Instagram in relationships

Episode Date: February 28, 2020

Olivia is joined in the studio by fashion model Emma Louise Connolly and Made in Chelsea star Oliver Proudlock.On the table for discussion is the use of Instagram in relationships. What do you share, when do you share it and, most importantly, who gets to post it?The couple also reveal who messaged who first, with some surprising revelations in a Millennial Love exclusive!As always you can keep up to date with everything to do with the show on Instagram @millennial_love. If you're a new listener please remember to subscribe and leave us a comment, preferably a nice one!Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/millenniallove. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello and welcome to Millennial Love, a podcast from The Independent that looks at everything to do with sexuality, relationships, identity and more. I'm your host Olivia Petter and today on the programme I'm joined by Emma Louise Connolly and Oliver Proudlock. Emma is a fashion model and you may know Ollie from E4's Made in Chelsea, the structured reality show on which he sometimes stars. They've been a couple for about five years and join me to discuss how we use Instagram in relationships. Enjoy the show! in relationships. Enjoy the show. Hi guys. Hey. How are you doing? Really well, thank you. Nice day. Lovely day. It's a glorious,

nice and warm in here. It's a little bit cold out there. Yeah. So it's nice to be nice and snug. It's nice and cosy in the studio. Very cosy in here. I'm actually very, very hot and wearing a polo neck and a little bit sweaty but it's fine but you look awesome so that's all that matters so we're gonna talk about Instagram today yes now Oli you have 710,000 followers right and Emma you have 400,000 followers I just hit 400 that is a lot so between you you have like more than a million. So my first question is how did you get to be so Insta-famous? Oh, I don't know if I would say Insta-famous. Would you say Insta-famous? I wouldn't say Insta-famous. What would you say? What would you call it, Em? I would just call it having lots of followers. Instagram.

Well, I don't know. I don't really consider myself to be Insta-famous. Yeah, I mean, there are two terms I'm really like. The term influencer and Insta-famous are probably two terms that, I mean, obviously people talk about it a lot, but it's probably not something we push out there too much. Lots of people really hate the word influencer. Yeah.

I don't know why. No, I do understand it. I think there's become a stigma attached to it because people think that influencers are... I think there's sort of like a veil of superficiality around it. And I think it's become like a negative label. Yeah. So I can understand why people sort of don't want to call themselves influencers.

Yeah. Okay, so rephrasing my question. Yes yes how did you get so many instagram followers um shall i shall i start yeah um so when i started instagram which is probably maybe five years ago um i was on a tv show at the time i think it's longer than five years because we've been together for five and a half this is true actually longer i think you're up in like. So maybe seven years ago. Seven years. I think maybe it was about seven years ago and it was the time I had because originally I had Twitter so I was on probably Twitter for about a year and it was during the time when I just started this show and that's when Twitter was really sort of blowing up

and it was super reactive everyone was using it and then obviously Instagram came to the table so then obviously I moved over to that platform and then over the last sort of five six years it's just grown basically through the various partnerships working with different brands and hopefully still growing and were you told to get Instagram when you went on the show is that why not at all no you just wanted to i think for me it was just an opportunity to talk about the various things that i was doing you know at the time i had my jewelry brand um and i was doing various different things and at the beginning obviously this is way before it got monetized it was just fun you know that's how that's why people joined it and you know you would follow people that you were interested in.

And obviously it just blew up and it's changed over the years. Emma, how about you? When did you first get Instagram? When did I first get Instagram? Probably about the same time. And then I started getting a few more followers, obviously, when Ol and I. Guilty. I poached a few. They now wave of her heart. I'm, like, losing my... They're, like, leaving me and going to Ems,

and I'm like, wait a second, come back. Don't forget about me. That's not true. I'm like, what? Also, I'm your biggest fan anyway. You don't need anyone else. Oh, stop it, baby. I'm your biggest fan.

They have all left me. But I get it. I completely understand. So, yeah, I got a few then. And it's just kind of snowballed a little bit, which has been really lovely. I kind of just upload my day-to-day sort of snap and go. That's my sort of style. So I don't really plan anything or I don't arrange professional shoots

or anything for my actual sort of Instagram content. So it's just a very sort of organic, natural, easy breezy upload situation. And just going back quickly, because I don't know the story, how did you guys meet? Oh, that's a big one. I love hearing when couples tell stories for Huddies.

I mean, why? It's just so great. I always have to tell the story. And do you know what? Do you know what? We spoke about this earlier. So this is, for all the listeners, this is Ems' first podcast. This is taking my podcast.

This is big. And because it's Ems' first podcast, I think for once, Ems should tell the story. And I will jump in occasionally, but Ems also tells it very beautifully. But can I just say why I think that you're a great candidate to tell the story? Why? Because you tell it so much better.

No, no, no. Please. Okay, but it is quite a long story, so I'm going to cut it quite short. Yeah, let's do the short version. So this is probably, you'll notice as I tell the story, Ems will jump in and probably correct me on a few things. Of course. So I think it's probably, like Ems says. Almost 10 years. No, it can't jump in and probably correct me on a few things. So I think

it's probably like Ems says. Almost 10 years. No, it can't be 10 years. It was almost 10 years ago. I'd say maybe nine years ago. Almost 10. I mean, one away from the big 10, almost a decade. I was in Glasgow and I was doing a tour around Scotland and it was at the time when I was doing a TV show. So I would occasionally go to appearances, et cetera. And I'd been in Scotland for about a week and probably partied a little too much. Hadn't seen too much culture, met these amazing guys from Glasgow and they said, look, you've got to go to this amazing art gallery, um, called Calvin Grove. There it is coming in. And,. And so I went to Kelvin Grove by myself, and I'm standing there, and I'm on the ground floor, and there's this catwalk,

and it's a graduate fashion show. So I thought, okay, this could be interesting. So I'm standing there at the front, and the first model cruises down, and it's Emma Lou. And I remember I caught eyes with her, and I was like, i was like this chick is hot i was like okay and you know you know when you you see you know you sort of catch eyes you

feel like there was a little something going on so anyway i then went back to my buddies um who i was staying with in glasgow i was like guys i think i've just fallen in love i was like this chick is unbelievable i love this story and i'm like'm like, so I, then I kind of, you know, I didn't know her name at this point. So I kind of described what she looked like. And they said, oh yeah, that sounds like this girl called Emma Lou. So they showed me a photo. I was like, wow, that's her. Yeah. A hundred percent. So I obviously then next day I had to go back down to London, thought nothing of it. obviously couldn't stop thinking about her. Two weeks later, I got another gig up in Edinburgh.

So I fly up into Edinburgh, I'm meeting the same guys from Glasgow and I'm at their baggage reclaim and I look up and there's a billboard for this jewelry company and the model is Ems. Really? So I'm like, okay, wait a second. This is 100% a sign sign so then i meet up with

my buddies and we're in the pub and i'm like guys i think i've just got a message this girl because it's obviously a sign you know this doesn't just happen oh i get butterflies every time you get to this point so so then so this is actually quite a funny little turn to this story because all these years no way the way i tell it i i basically found her on facebook hold on i found her on facebook and i always thought i could i could get the message out actually i always i always thought i was the i always thought i was the first person who messaged her yeah so she would always make out oh it's creepy like you know messaging me so it turns out and i's creepy like you know messaging me so turns out and i've got proof you know what i love about facebook you can go back it's there and i went

back after telling this story for about three years turns out she messaged me first no yeah i did and it was quite a niche message what did you say i mean i would love to tell you but i may have to kill you if i told you. I think you should share. We've all been there. It was definitely not my finest. What was the message? Come on. No, I can't.

Was it like a, hey, I saw you the other day. Not at all. Oh, okay. Was it like a, little bit hungover. Slash still drunk. Slash still drunk. Just tell him, come on, don't leave him hanging.

I actually can't remember. I remember. So she said. Of course he remembers. She said, so she said. No, stop. She definitely remembers. Do you want me to say it?

No, I'm sweating. So she basically. This is my first podcast ease me in this is you know what's important about podcasts truth being super honest sharing with the listeners what they want to hear i just feel like this is quite a personal thing to share though well this is funny because we're going to be talking about this today right about how much can you share what should you share what shouldn't you share this we should share so she said she said is this the real earring what a weird message she messaged me going is this the real

earring and i'm thinking to myself what because obviously i've always worn an earring right so i've always had this cross earring right and that was a thing on the show right okay so she that was her way of being like you know is this you know I guess her being like is this actually you is this the real earring I like that yeah clever kind of cool well that's way more interesting than just being like hey what stuff want to hook up exactly oh you definitely not me that's not not me not me either no I've never said that before, just to clarify. I mean, I obviously send very cool messages. So no, but you know what? And then we had a string of messages on Facebook and they were, she was just so funny.

And I was thinking to myself, wow, this chick is epic. And we were messaging on Facebook for a while. Obviously, Ams was living in Glasgow at the time. I was obviously living in London. I got her number. And then when I was in London, you know, we would message occasionally. But this went on for like...

Three years? Three years. Really? Yeah. And the funniest thing was during those three years, she then moved down to London from Glasgow. She was living in London. And we used to go to these events

and we would see each other. Oh, I remember it so well. We'd see each other and be so nervous to say anything to each other and afterwards we'd text being like, was that you at the bar? Yeah, Ems would go, Ems go, was that the real earring?

Did I just see your earring dangling from the bar? So wait, did it take three years of talking until you guys actually met in person? Always very persistent. So basically... And actually, well, we both were. I mean, we knew that something was always bringing us together, but we didn't, neither of us were ready for that

at that point in our lives. There were other things happening in our lives. And then it wasn't until I got back from New York, and obviously we're both living in London at this point. I was like, look, we've been chatting for like three years now. I think it's probably time we actually meet up. I was like, no, I'm too scared. So then

I heard that she was going to be in Glasgow for the Commonwealth Games through a friend of mine. So I was obviously like, right, I'm going to the Commonwealth Games. So obviously I messaged Anne's going, oh, so weird. Like, I'm going to be there too. Like, what? That's like, what a coincidence. What a weird thing.

Weird, right? And I was like, well, why don't we hang? She was like, look, I'd love to, but you know, I've got loads going on. I live in London now, so we can, you know, we'll hang when we're in London. So I was like, well,

why don't we get the train together from Glasgow to London? Which is quite a scary, sort of daunting thought when five hours is quite a long time to be you know, so I was So I remember on the day we were meant to go she obviously had a bit of a panic and was just like oh No, I'm so sorry. I'm actually you know, I can't make the train or whatever. I've got to stay another night in Glasgow I was like cool. I'll stay another night. No, I know I was kind of thinking

But being on like a virgin express for five hours also not the most romantic of settings yeah I disagree I think extremely romantic so I was like oh when you replied being like cool oh wait I was like I was like sweet I love Glasgow so I'll stay another night I'll see you tomorrow at the same time um and I remember I was remember I was on the platform. And you know when they do that call, you've got like three minutes before the doors close. And I'm standing there. And I'm thinking, gosh, she's not going to make it.

And then she comes running down the platform. Like the bag lady. And I know her now. And she likes having so many bags. She travels with so many bags. And I just remember her just running down with all these bags and in that moment i was like yeah this chick is is pretty special and we had obviously a five five hour journey down to london and then i asked her on a date and yeah we went on a date

best train journey of my life love you baby love you too that's the best story ever and that was a little long i love it it. I love that story. And also, it's relevant because it involves social media, which is what we're going to be talking about today. It does. And I think many relationships begin on social media, maybe not Facebook now, maybe more Instagram. Yeah, for sure.

Sliding into the DMs. Oh, yeah. Do you know what, though? Can I just say, you actually didn't slide into my DMs. You, first of all, added me as a friend. And then when I accepted, you messaged me. No, no, you mess didn't slide into my DMs. You first of all added me as a friend, and then when I accepted, you messaged me. No, no, you messaged me.

Oh, sorry. So that message was only unearthed later down the line? Well, yeah. I've got the proof. I actually, yeah. I mean, it's amazing that we can still read through all those messages. I was actually quite funny. She was very, very funny. I'll give it to myself.

We're always so funny in the first day i know then it all drops off because we take like five minutes to construct every single message i remember really thinking about everything apart from the real earring i mustn't have thought about that for too long that must have been quite a real brain fart that one I'm Jesse Kirkshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture. But when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show.

I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know a thirsty man until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a node. That's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jesse Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow,

and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. So going back to what you guys post now on Instagram, do you notice a difference in terms of the posts about each other that do really well and the ones that kind of flop? Like, which posts do the best on your own profiles? I think people love love.

I think people like to see love, and I think people like to see, you know, a genuine relationship, which we have, and we, you know, put quite a, well, not a lot of it on, but we put selective parts of our relationship online that people get to see and get to feel a part of which

is really nice and I think people just like to see people happy yeah and to see love I think also you know like Em says and you know we've shared you know various things throughout our time together and people have sort of been on the journey with us since the beginning. And, you know, there are certain things that we haven't shared. And there's been, you know, some things that we have. And I think with anything that you're sharing, whether it's love, whether it's your day to day life, whatever it is that you're sharing, I think authenticity is one of the most important things. And, you know, our relationship and the things we do and the things we share are very authentic and genuine. But then, you know, there is the other side of that

where the negative side of social media, where people are kind of putting across a completely different persona and it's not actually who they are or what they do. And that's where it can become quite dangerous, I feel. I think there's a lot of pressure within social media there is a lot of you know people aspire to be in and do certain things which I think on one hand is great because it you know gives people something to well something to aspire to whether, you know, career-wise or, well, yeah, career-wise is probably the one that I would say is a positive.

And then the negative is, you know, that people create this life for likes or for, you know, which I think is not the unauthentic side of it. That whole thing about addiction to likes. And, you know, we've seen now that in certain regions i know they've they've tested it here in the uk where they're getting rid of likes um because it is affecting people mentally like they you know especially you know we're very lucky that we didn't go through this phase when we were at school because being a teenager and having to go through everything as you are as a teenager and then having this as an added thing you know i have my niece and nephew who are 16 and 18 and i know it's been super hard for them because you know all these kids and it's all around like how many likes

you're getting oh you've got no follower you know what i mean and it's so scary we talk about pressure i mean there's so much pressure and people almost feel now as well that if they don't share a moment over their social media it's like it never happened. Do you know what I mean? So a lot of the time people aren't actually being in the moment because they're so consumed by sharing that moment and how it's going to look to people outside of the space that you're currently in. you're currently in how do you guys deal with those pressures though yourselves because surely you know you both have far more followers than a lot of the people listening to this podcast will have so i would imagine that the pressures are far greater but i did but i don't know does it feel like if you post something and it doesn't get as many likes do you feel like a personal

sense of like defeatism i mean considering that you make a living off of the profiles a lot, you know, when you work with brands and stuff, how does the pressure affect you guys? I think there's definitely been times where I've posted something and it doesn't, you know, hadn't got the likes that I thought it would. And of course, I'd be lying if I said that it didn't sometimes feel deflating. But I remember making a decision for that not to affect how I feel or the work that

I do or the stuff that I put online because ultimately you know I've got plenty of people who love me my friends and family and it's really lovely when people do like and engage with stuff that you do but it's not the be-all and end-all and it's not at the end of the day going to be the people that pick you up whenever you really do need, you know, support. So it is lovely, but it's not going to... I made a decision to not let it actually affect anything apart from what it says, you know, on the screen. And when you're posting stuff about each other, is there a certain etiquette to it?

Like, will you ask before you post a photo? 100%. Reason being... I never do. I'm pretty relaxed about what you post a photo. Reason being, reason being. I never do. I'm pretty relaxed about what you post. I don't mean,

oh yeah, we're very relaxed about like, if I'll post a picture where I've got a double chin, which quite often happens, I don't care. Like that's because that's not important.

But what we will ask is if, and this happens quite often, we have one really good photo, who's going to post it? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah who's gonna get it usually it's me because i don't ask i just do it she just does it and i'm like what i'm like i orchestrated that whole thing i know i was like i planned it i came up with the idea and then you've just totally used it i know but i credit you in real life i don't need to tag you we were away recently and um i'm like a thief we were two friends of ours and um they're they're so epic and

obviously when when you're with a couple or friends you know then it means we can actually get the shots of two of us and it's not you'd have to go up and ask someone or anything like that oh no i usually set up some sort of dodgy camera tripod out of like books and mugs and everything. Ems is actually really good at it. So we were doing some, what's it called? Acro, acro aerobics,

acro yoga, acro yoga. Sorry, apologies. Yeah. And so we were kind of checking out some of these and we, we had a shot at this move and we kind of nailed it and we were like, Oh my God.

And I, we took ages doing it and we shared all the behind the scenes just to showcase how funny it was and all the kind of yeah i mean the photos were pretty jokes and i was like god i can't wait to post this puppy i was like this is such a great shot nine five minutes later like m's already put it out there i'm like what i know but yeah and do you purposely do it really quickly because you know no. No, I don't. No, I don't. There's absolutely, I'm not doing anything maliciously or try. And also it doesn't matter.

No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. I just have to do it first. Yeah, she always has to do it first. And then I'll do it like two weeks later when people have seen it and they're like, nice one, buddy. We've seen that shot.

I think the most important thing though, you know, is especially with Ems and I, whenever we're sharing content, whether it's personal or whether it's of the two of i whenever we're sharing content whether it's personal or whether it's of the two of us um we just got to enjoy it i think as soon as you start overthinking everything and becoming too much perfectionist um which at times we're all guilty of then it becomes like a real burden everything gets really you know pressurized yeah um so we just try to have fun with it and also what we try and do

is is just make it of the moment rather than planning everything and being like okay let's take the shot now we're going to post it at tuesday uh 4 p.m no that stresses me out we just like to live in the moment and share things that we've you know are fun and and positive and you know that's so we enjoy it that's the most important thing you get such good photos though who take who takes them i'm telling you my tripods yeah no i'm kidding no well actually probably 50 or yeah sorry our epic agent over here is raising her hand she is a game changer and her skills are just going i mean she's really skyrocketing yeah very good if you um if you guys don't post photos of each other for a while do you start

getting messages from fans being like oh my god have you broken up no you don't okay i don't i don't think we've left it that long okay we spend a lot of time together so i hope so we live together no but you know what I mean I'm saying we haven't had a period where we haven't posted of the two of us you know longer than probably like

an hour also because of insta stories an hour exaggeration because of insta stories it's kind of

that's more when people can see like the live because sometimes I don't post for like two three days just because I kind of don't think about it as much

in those days. But people still see that obviously we're just hanging out and chilling and having fun. And do you get much interaction from fans? Like do you get people sliding into your DMs and saying lovely things? Do you get people saying horrible things? We get a lot of lovely ones.

I've had a couple of, not horrible, but definitely not lovely. And I just get them away, restrict. I think as well, you've got to be, because some people do get a lot of negative responses. And you do have to be quite thick-skinned i think i think also you kind of have to be a little bit bulletproof sometimes because someone's unfortunately always trying

to pick a hole um what kind of holes are people picking in your pictures i can't imagine people saying i don't know i mean i know there are a lot of people out there but some people of it you know we're very lucky that we get to do a lot of really beautiful and amazing things, both work-wise and also just, you know, stuff that we would like to do with our life that we put on social media. And some people occasionally, not often at all, but will send a message kind of criticising that we're flaunting this sort of unrealistic lifestyle which I understand you know it's not everybody gets to travel as much as we do or you know experience some of the stuff that we do but we're not doing it to be malicious or to kind of put anything negative out there

it's just um and I guess that's also the problem with everything being live and on social media is that it's there to be looked at. Yeah, and I guess, you know, you've got to be prepared. I think, you know, that's one thing I would say to people who want to really share their lives on social media. You do have to be prepared. There's a lot of positives and you're going to get a lot of great feedback. Just be prepared. And I feel people often take most note of the negatives. It can be that one comment which can really get to someone

as opposed to the 100 positives. But the key is just to remember the positives and just ignore that and see it as a... You're very good at that because occasionally I will read something that's not necessarily horrible, but it's just not something that i would like to read and i'll really dwell on it for a while and i'll think about it and i'll think about it and i'll think about it and all can you know whenever i've read something and he'll say to me like you need to stop it you need to stop looking into it and you need to stop letting it affect you because i just

you know we're good people we're not trying to do anything anything bad. And sometimes it just upsets me when people think that we're trying to do something to offend someone because that's never what we would do, both online and in real life. So, yeah, definitely focus on the good. And do you read all of the comments that you get? Because you must get, like, thousands. Not really. Sometimes, I mean, I have a quick skim.

Yeah. I like to at least, you know, a lot of the time if I'm in between meetings or traveling or moving around, I like to kind of engage with people and write back. Because it is really nice when you actually see people, rather than just sort of liking a picture or whatever it might be, actually engaging and asking questions. And I think it's really important to see it as a community and I've always said from my personal brand but also with my my jewelry brand it's so important to build a community and it's about how do you engage with that community how do you bring them on the journey with you yeah um because that I mean

that's what life's about for me it It's about being connected, building a community, helping one other out, and setting a really strong positive standard. I think also on the other side, because we both often go through and reply to other messages or comments, whenever I message some people on Instagram and when they reply to me, it's really nice to know that someone's taking the time out of their day to reply.

So it's nice to kind of pass that on. I think one of the biggest problems when you are so active on Instagram and you're in a couple is what happens when you break up. Because then what often happens in celebrity couples you see a lot, they will delete all of the photographs of their ex-partner. And, you know, they unfollow all of the relatives and all of the friends. Oh, the drama. Yeah.

So what's your advice for post-breakup Instagram etiquette? Do you think it's okay to delete the images or do you think it's a part of your past and you should just embrace it as part of your Instagram history? Should you unfollow all of the friends? I think it's so relative to the person. Yeah, well said, yeah said yeah because for example some like past relationships i've had i've had to remove everything and just because it's just

like a fresh start i think as well but although it's savage but i think i think you kind of owe that to yourself to be able to wipe the slate clean if you if you want to yeah i agree i think it's very dependent on on the individuals on the scenario and how things are between that couple yeah if it was a really full-on breakup and and reminders of it is is really a negative effect and like m says if you need to have that clean slate yeah then i think yeah delete yeah then i think you you have to you heard them guys delete delete we live in a savage world oh we do savages savages out there oh dang okay so we're gonna move on to the next part of the podcast which is our lessons in love segment so this is where i ask the guests to share something they've learned from their

previous relationships or current relationship or just anything about love in general it can be personal it can be much more general it's up to you guys emma do you want to start by sharing yeah um my lessons in love um first of all i think love is something very precious and i think it's something that is um something to hold on to um whether it be a short love a long love any type of love um and i think honesty is a huge um part of a successful relationship. Amen. And I think within that, being honest about your needs and we were talking about this actually last night about compromise

and just being honest to not only yourself but to your partner, I think is something that's really important. Honest with how you're feeling about the relationship. Just everything. Honest with how you're feeling about the relationship, honest with what you would feeling about the relationship. Just everything. Honest with how you're feeling about the relationship, honest with what you would like from the relationship, honest just about every aspect, I think.

I think you have to just be really transparent. You've got to be an open book. Yeah. And you have to also be okay with allowing someone to see all of your pages. That's it. Hard to do that at the beginning, though. It's so hard.

Yeah, it does take time. 100%. I mean, you know, we've been together for a long time, but I remember at the beginning, it is hard to fully open up because it's still, it's quite scary. Love is really quite a scary territory. Terrifying.

But it is amazing when you do let your guard down and you really let someone in that is the most incredible feeling and and when that feeling is mutual that's when the love can really grow and that's when it just becomes so strong you're such a wise old owl sorry wise young owl thank you yeah wise young owl um yeah you. Wise young owl. Yeah, I mean, I think Em's really, really nailed it with that. I mean, compromise is definitely something,

you know, some of my friends who are still single now, love them to bits. You know, I'm talking about if you're listening, boys. And they're, you know, they're, you know,

dating at the moment and sliding into DMs and they're meeting these girls and things are great and then they're telling me the moment and sliding into DMs. And they're meeting these girls and things are great. And then they're telling me why it's not. And a lot of the time they're trying, they want them to change. Yeah, they want them to adapt. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm saying that's not how it works.

Like you need to let, you need to adapt. You need to change so that you guys can come together. You're never going to find that person who's identical to you and is going to want the exact same things as you but also i don't think you can ever really change a person i i don't think that because it's the same with me some of my friends who you know i've met guys and they'll say oh i'm just there's this one thing that i'm just going to tweak you like you can't change someone and i don't think it's fair to yeah to want to change somebody and that is something that you know these little thing these are what make that individual individual and make them who they are unless they're an absolute nightmare

then they're not right for you okay move on all right find someone else all right no but you're right i think it's about it's about embracing a person for who they are and all of the flaws that are obviously natural. You learn to love that about a person. Exactly. And we all have flaws, right? Perfectly imperfect. Exactly.

Perfectly imperfect. What do you think your flaws are, Ollie? Ooh, go on. I've none. Floors? What's a floor? What is that? You mean the floor?

Floor, ceiling. You are actually pretty flawless. No, I'm not. You have a couple of things which are, you know, not annoying, but... Slurping my tea. That's a bad one. That is awful. I am...

I mean, I've been drinking tea. Have you had a slurp? Can I just say one thing? I'll selectively slurps. No, no, no. You do. You you had a slurp? Can I just say one thing? All selectively slurps. No, no, no. You do. You selectively will slurp. The thing I love...

If you can see me watching you... This is what I love, right? Don't say that I slurp, because I do not slurp. Hold on. If the tea is super hot, and I know Ems is listening, I'm like trying to be so quiet,

and then maybe a little slurp. Please don't do it. I'm not going to do it. Just prop the tea up to the microphone. It would have been so loud. Then occasionally, I love it when this happens. And it makes me so happy. You know, we'll be lying in bed and we'll watch something

and Em's got a tea and I hear a little slurp. No. What was that? Did I just hear a slurp coming from you? That was nice. That does not happen. See, no one's perfect. Any slurpers out there, it's okay to occasionally do it.

I think I have that thing where if I hear people eating or slurping, I get really angry. I could actually sometimes punch a wall. It's really bad. No, the eating thing is the worst. On the tube or anywhere, I get proper... I'm actually getting angry now. So if you hear people eating?

Yes. Any sort of chewing, slurping, I get really angry. Interesting. Is it because it grosses you out? No, I don't know why. It just makes me, ugh.

Yeah. Ugh. Are you a very silent eater? Yeah, like a mouse. No, she's not. She's really loud.

I am not. She's so loud. It's one of her flaws. But if slurping is the biggest problem in your relationship, I think you're doing pretty damn well.

Yeah. Gotta say. We're pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for coming on it's been lovely thank you that's it for today thank you guys so much for listening if you're a new listener you can subscribe to us on apple podcasts spotify acast or wherever you listen you can also comment and leave us a rating please do that because it helps people find us. You can follow us on Instagram. Just search Millennial Love and I will see you next week. Bye bye. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. World's best podcast.

Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessie Cruikshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture. But when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know what thirsty meant until there was all these headlines.

And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no, that's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jesse Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.