Love Lives - Listeners share their socially distant date stories

Episode Date: May 22, 2020

This week we have another listener special.As of Monday last week, people in England can now meet up with one person outside of their household so long as they abide by social distancing rules.This means people can go on dates! In this episode, we hear from four different women who have been on social distancing dates in the last week.One date involved a cemetery and a rogue wee, while another wound up lasting seven hours.We’re also joined this week by relationships expert and therapist Sally Baker, who offered some useful insight into the mysterious art of social distancing dating and how it could transform the future of romance for good.You can follow everything to do with the show on Instagram at @millennial_love.If you're a new listener please remember to subscribe and leave us a comment, preferably a nice one!Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/millenniallove. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. Hello and welcome to Millennial Love, a podcast from The Independent on everything to do with love, sexuality, identity and more. This week we have another listener special. As of Monday last week, people in England can now meet up with one person outside of their household, so long as they abide by social distancing rules. This means that people can actually go on dates now. So it's probably not exactly the kind of dating we're used to, given that you won't be able to go within two metres of one another, and every single traditional date spot is closed like

pubs and restaurants but people have been getting pretty creative and still finding ways to date so to give you a taster of how people are actually doing it i've spoken to four different women who've been on social distancing dates in the last week some were more successful than others we hear from one woman whose date involved a symmetry and a rogue wee. Yes, I said rogue wee. And another who wound up spending seven hours with her date. So we can assume that one went pretty well. For this episode, I was also thrilled to be joined by relationships expert and therapist Sally Baker, who offered some useful insights into the mysterious art of social distancing dating and how we can actually do it well. Enjoy the show!

Okay, so first up we've got Lucy. So Lucy, you went on a social distancing date earlier this week. Where did you guys go? distancing date earlier this week uh where did you guys go we met on the bridge by crape brewery and then cycled to the hackney marshes and just like sat down on the grass um in like the playing fields um like like at a distance and did you guys have food or drinks with you or did you just sit there, just the two of you? Yeah, we did. We brought beers. We both did. As in not to pass each other drinks, so we brought our own. Yeah, that is clever. That seems like the way to do it. And how did you guys meet originally? Did you meet on a dating app?

Yeah, it was on Hinge like two weeks ago. And then we were chatting and then on whatsapp and then just the weather was really good and we just said do you want to go for a cycle and meet up and have a chat and how did it go did it go well did you guys get on um like thinking back now he did something that kind of um made me feel a bit uncomfortable and like on retro a bit upset and like there's a pandemic happening and you shouldn't have done that oh really why what did he say um no the chat was all fine but then he like tried to like um be a bit tactile and like right like kind of a cheesy move he like lent in and like looked at my necklace and was like oh like what's this and was trying to interact with me in that

way but I started to laugh because I was quite nervous and really uncomfortable and I didn't know to make the laughing as um like misinterpreting the laughter yeah right uncomfortable because he was he was breaking the guidelines by coming closer to you yeah and I was like I started laughing and kind of like scooched back in the grass and I was like we're meant to be social distancing oh it's so awkward isn't it because what do you say in that moment it's like well we're breaking the law if you come closer to me but also surely when you're on a date it's so instinctive I think he thought he was being very like suave um was he taken aback when you kind of backed away do you think oh maybe he thought I was being coy and maybe being like I don't know be a bit demure but I

wasn't my laughter was I'm uncomfortable and I want to scooch backwards did he try to kiss you at any point yeah oh god and that again on the cycle home I was like did that just happen like no um again he kind of like lent in again and I just like scooched back again and started laughing nervously and was like um like we can't kiss like in my head I was like I wouldn't kiss you anyway um the whole like my excuse was the pandemic like there's corona and so before you guys actually met had you spoken on facetime or on zoom had you had any sort of face-to-face interaction virtually um no just just spoke on hinge and then switched to messaging on whatsapp no no facetime or zoom calls do you think maybe you would do that again next time like would you try and just to get because you get a bit of a sense for someone when you're on a video call don't you I don't know would I be too awkward to do that

would I just be laughing hysterically in my bedroom? Yeah it is quite a weird setup isn't it it feels quite forced. Yeah like even work calls can feel yeah yeah so I don't know. So Sally that was obviously a bit of an unfortunate situation uh with Lucy's social distancing date. What would you advise to people in a similar situation when you're on a date with someone, you're clearly conscious of abiding by the rules and the other person tries to break them? What do you do? I would hang my face mask around underneath my, you know, around my neck.

I keep reminding people that I'm alert, I'm on it. We are so naturally inclined when we're attracted to people to want to be closer to them and want to lean in. But a bit like with normal people, why don't they just speak their truth to each other? You just got to keep saying your truth. And if someone can't accept your truth, then why would you want to go any further with them anyway? They're not listening to you. So do you think it's better if if this guy for example just said to her i really i really want to kiss you obviously you know they still shouldn't kiss

but maybe just expressing the intent is is a nice alternative i suppose well on american campuses when they were really hot on consent everything you did every step towards seduction or towards intersectional involvement was is it okay if i undo your top button now is it okay if i lean in and kiss you is it okay if i undo this or if i go in here um that stuff we should be doing anyway isn't it consent also we've got the situation where um i mean the risks are so much greater lots of people got involved with situations that they weren't very comfortable with. And a lot of the idea underpinning not being comfortable was the fact actually I didn't really want to do this stuff.

So everyone's opportunity to say, you know what, I'm not comfortable with this. Right, next up, we've got Ellie. So you went on a social distancing date with someone you met on an app. Is that right? Yeah, I went on Hinge and well, I've had Hinge for quite a while. And yeah, just decided to download it whilst we're in lockdown because it seems like a good way to waste time. Yep, definitely. And how long were you guys chatting on hinge before you decided to meet up it was pretty it was quite short to be honest and I I like insisted that we met up rather than have a really long chat about probably nothing like with a stranger so I just thought I'd cut to the chase

and ask him out and how soon was that was that a few days after you started chatting yeah I mean there was like probably about four messages before I asked him bold I like it I mean why waste any time there's that's a very good point you know you don't really get a sense for someone unless you meet them and did you guys speak virtually before you met like on FaceTime or anything like that no but I did like I was curious as to what he sounded like I don't know why but like like it's just interesting to hear someone's voice so I um I sent him a voice note before we met and then he sent one back and that's probably as far as it went oh that's clever though I like that sending a voice

note because it's kind of less intense uh than video chatting with someone because you can actually just yeah hear their voice and hear their register that's interesting right so how did the day actually go where did you guys go um well my phone I didn't have a phone at that point so he had to come to my area and he uh he like cycled past me and I recognized him so I waved him down and he nearly fell off his bike and then he like got off his bike and started walking up towards me I was like oh hello and it was just quite strange how you couldn't really hug or that just made it awkward so that was the first bit and then we were sort of walking up past my house and he was saying oh so what we what are we gonna do then and I was like um well uh I've got a ball in the house and just like frantically ran into the house grabbed

standing out there like what's she doing and then yeah continued to walk um to the park which we didn't actually play any ball so there's quite a weird what was it was it a football or a tennis ball a tennis ball a tennis ball okay. Interesting. And so did you guys stay two meters away from one another the entire time? Yeah, he was, it was strange because we weren't actually walking, I would say at two meters distance. And then when we got down, he made sure that there was like a big gap between us, which was still quite strange. Yeah. And did you guys get on well? What did you, did you feel any kind of connection with him at all or was it just a bit awkward and stale it was more of just like connecting with another human outside of my house that was that was nice it was right it was anything special I don't think but um yeah

it was just nice to be with a stranger I've actually really missed strangers how long how long were you guys together for on the date? Actually quite a long time we were sat there for two hours and I'm quite used to going on dates in like pubs or bars so I felt the need to bring some beers. Oh yeah. It's a very satisfying feeling just opening a beer and just having the scent like some sort of normality. The difficulty is though, it's like, where do you go to the toilet then? Because surely you're on a time limit in terms of how long you spend out in the park. Did you ever have to run back to the house for a wee or something?

Yeah, see that actually did happen. And that's sort of when I, it was quite good because at that point I was kind of tired of just talking. Right, so you're like, I need a wee and also let's just call it a day yeah yeah that makes sense and are you guys going to see each other again have you spoken since the date yeah it's not actually we haven't really had like conversations it's more again than just about meeting up so that's kind of like staggered it and made me sort of just not really be too bothered about meeting up with him again it's an investment and now you can see your friends in the park and stuff as well it's kind of I don't know yeah obviously wasn't that much for flair so Sally what

did you make of Ellie's story there it's interesting when she had the option to see this guy virtually as opposed to just listening to him that she didn't ask for that option because on blind dates most people make the opinion about whether they want to go forward with someone within the hundred within the first 125th of a second it's the speed of a camera shutter you know we decide we look at someone and we decide can and i am i interested in this person do i how is that fast really 25th of a second so i can see why people don't want to get involved with long rambling discussions online especially before we had the option of video we spent weeks

emailing you know backwards and forwards and falling in love with their fantasy of a person and then they turn up and you think oh god it's cringe where they couldn't even touch him with a barge pole so there's not a lot of point going forward unless you fancy them so it's very odd that ellie wanted to just work completely on her intuition and probably it sounds like she didn't fancy him hey perfectly pleasant but she didn't feel that spark she might have known that from seeing him on video do you think there's a better way of going on a socially distancing day as opposed to just going to the park because I'm now really conscious of the peeing thing I just feel like that it limits you doesn't it in terms of location and in terms

of how much time you can spend together I mean I have a bladder you know very small so I need to pee like every half an hour it's probably too much information but I'm just thinking like what would you suggest in terms of other places you could go for a socially distancing date I don't know anywhere that's got regular loos or the interesting thing about dating in a social situation is you get to see how someone behaves if you go to a restaurant or a cafe with someone and they start clicking their fingers at waiters and being aggressive with people's chairs are too close to them or you know just kind of like arsey in the in the environment you think it's a warning sign wow they're not really very

socialized or they're not really very they're not really very kind and and you can't have any of that now because you never see them interacting with other people i had blind dates where men turned up and behaved really badly in restaurants and i was wow so glad i know that now i think we should be having a bit more of a structured approach you know finding out finding out what they're, what they're more about, who they are as people. The whole idea of judging your life partner on 125th of a second isn't the greatest way of doing it, but it's enough to carry us through for the first two years. Often when the phrenomes run out,

we're attracted to how people look and we're attracted to how they smell. And that last two years, and then we become immune to their phrenomes run out we're attracted to how people look and we're attracted to how they smell and that lasts two years and then we become immune to their phrenomes and that's a bit like getting immune and you can't smell whether you've got your own perfume on anymore later in the day you know so within that two-year span we get to know whether we like them and care about them and they're good people for us so we need to do that kind of stuff online a bit thank you sally now coming up after the break we have got another story from someone who went on a social distancing date in a cemetery which doesn't seem like the most romantic of date spots but we'll hear how it went in a minute.

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Facebook is like a no, that's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jesse Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. So now we've got Georgie. So Georgie, one of the first things you told me about your social distancing day it was that you didn't actually bring any alcohol why didn't you bring any drinks

because all the other people we've spoken to did yeah I don't know why that was that was a huge deal um I don't know I think we just thought oh let's just meet up for a walk because that's a normal thing to do um I hadn't I sort of begrudgingly re-downloaded Hinge at the beginning of lockdown maybe like three weeks in um because I just it just felt a bit barren and bleak didn't it kind of going into three months without any options or just with everything on hold so I kind of also hadn't been on an on an online date for about a year so I was I was kind of like I'm gonna get back in the game I'm gonna be open and um yeah we decided to just go for a walk I don't know why booze wasn't involved but that was a big mistake because

I think normally on a date it loosens things up doesn't it a bit but this was just yeah and how long were you guys how long were you guys talking before you decided to go on the date so we were talking for about two weeks um like good like quite good banter on text we didn't do any FaceTime calls which probably would have been a better way of figuring out that maybe it was a no before meeting in real life I don't know that's really interesting because I think actually everyone we've spoken to so far also didn't do any FaceTiming or virtual like dating before they met up um and those dates also didn't go very well but anyway do you want to start off by telling us what what you guys did and why it didn't go so

well? Yeah so we've had yeah we've been chatting we met up I bumped into two friends who'd cycled past me on the way so I was already late because I hadn't seen anyone for weeks and I really wanted to catch up with my friends. So I ended up being about 10 minutes late and it was quite a hot day. So I was a bit kind of hot and bothered anyway, turning up to the date and then being late. And within the first couple of minutes, he was just he was quite an awkward person, which I wasn't expecting. After the texting, I was expecting him to be quite chatty and and easy to chat to I think because I um was feeling awkward myself I was trying to kind of

go in with a bit of banter to sort of warm him up so within the first two minutes of meeting each other I said to him I was like so how are you you know what you've been doing today he was like oh I just did some shopping for some reason I then said online I was like oh online shopping wow and he just looked at me weirdly and was like no I just went to the shop yeah all that yeah cool then I said to him cool like anything anything else so you know good morning and he was like yeah I wrote down my dream actually so then I said oh cool was it like was it a good dream he said no not really then I asked him oh okay so like are you going to do some dream book stuff and he and he's like what's that and then I think I said oh I mean you could just google it because it's just really flustered and overcompensating massively that's so funny you could just google it wait so he didn't tell you what the dream

involved you didn't tell me what the dream was so then I was like oh well it's just where you interpret your dreams and then there was this lingering silence and in my head I was like god I had such a messed up dream this week but I said it out loud and then he asked me what the dream was and basically I can't go into like full detail but it involved a member of my family and a live stream and it was like very weird. So I told him this dream, which just got us off on the wrong foot entirely. And then we carried on walking. And then we got from Mylan Cemetery, Mylan Park through the park into the cemetery, which is like really, really beautiful.

It was just quite awkward talking to him about stuff because he wasn't really that like into what he, I think he probably struggled a little bit with talking about what he was up to and what he what he did and like he just wasn't he was just very like mediocre about everything he wasn't really like that passionate about what he was doing or so is that completely different to how he was on chat because it sounds like he was quite confident in the conversation I think so and maybe he just felt ambushed by me um I don't know and there was like a 15 minute monologue in the cemetery of um about bluebells and I suddenly was like oh my god bluebells

were bluebells um like were blue but do bluebells turn white and then I was like googling I just felt so awkward and then I realized no they're just snowdrops like they're totally different things and then we talked about a bit about like well just tried to just make small talk but realized we didn't really have that much common ground and then there was this moment where he needed the toilet in the cemetery and this is something that keeps coming up you know because and this is something I'm particularly concerned with for people because it's like when you're out and about in a park or on a walk or whatever you're on limited time particularly if you're drinking until you need to pee

so what did he do so he went for a like, we'd only had a bottle of water each. We hadn't even had a drink. But he was like, I need to go to the loo. And I was like, okay, cool. But also, I don't know how I felt about that. It was just quite, it made the already awkward day even more awkward. Because then he went to find a tree. And I was like, we're in a graveyard obviously I'd much rather that than him wet himself on the date which would not be

profitable so he went he found a tree in the graveyard to pee by yeah is that weird I think that's a bit weird I don't think that's very hygienic I don't think it's I don't think that's a bit weird. I don't think that's very hygienic. I don't think it's very friendly in terms of reducing the spread. So that's not great. That was pretty awkward. And then the hilarious thing at the end of it, because you can't embrace, you can't, it's, you know, you're not able to even, I think, had it been someone that we'd both caught a vibe and fancied

each other I think it would have been very different I don't think he fancied me and I didn't fancy him and so at the end we had you know I then walked completely back in the wrong direction because I just couldn't gain control of the situation to try and end the date and we were together for about an hour and a half and it was excruciating wait so what you said goodbye and then you just walked off yeah like walked back towards Milan Park which is the wrong direction from my house um said and then I just seized I just kind of had to seize control and I was like right so you go that way don't you and I yeah I go this way so um what you got to the rest of the day he was like ah but kind of again just like nothing much and then we just went okay

bye oh god and neither of us texted after right sally that's probably the most awkward story we've heard so far uh is there any way to recover from that kind of awkwardness on a date particularly the post peeing in the graveyard bit what what do you do in that situation i find it completely lovable how people put themselves through this awkwardness and I mean it chips away at everyone's self-confidence we don't have his side of the date but you know George it's a sobering moment to have gone through that for an hour and a half and can we have it kind of tattooed on somewhere visible that texting does not text in good banter does not equal personality yeah I think that's clear that's a lesson that we can definitely take away from all of these

stories you know when I was online dating I would be texting guys for like two weeks and you're getting on so well and you're kind of like bouncing off one another and the bantus flowing but then you meet in real life and they're just a completely different person they peaked early that was them that was them peaking and it's time to yeah so it's back to love island when they say well i'm just looking for a bloke with good banter like why what is it about banter so superficial um and again no more face time so georgie didn't fancy her guy either so she could have saved herself an hour and a half and she was late for the date because she bumped into friends so it seems that two of our women now have said that you know they went on dates because they were desperate to be

with a stranger or someone different and how much they were missing their friends so I think we've got to be really clear about you know what we want because people's people's expectation of online dating now is so near people are putting up with if it's got a pulse I'll meet it okay next up we've got Molly so Molly you're one of the few people I've heard from that has actually had a good experience on a social distancing date so why don't you start by telling us what happened cool a good experience on a social distancing date. So why don't you start by telling us what happened? Cool, a good experience, I'm glad to hear. So for me, I met this boy on Hinge the week before this whole lockdown period. So I had the pleasure of meeting him before

and then obviously I came back home to my parents' house and kind of reverted back to almost like my 16-year-old state in my childhood bedroom, texting this boy every night, being very excited and FaceTiming him. So in my head, I had like two and a half months to like build up this kind of thought in terms of when I was going to see him. And obviously last week when Boris lifted the restrictions, we were perfect perfect let's meet so um we went to a park um near where I live in London and yeah he bought a picnic blanket and we just sat in this picnic blanket very respectable two meter distance apart um and yeah we just sat there and chatted for seven hours which was amazing it was literally like a face time in person obviously you couldn't touch anyone which I am quite a tactile person.

So not being able to kind of like actually feel someone and like touch them was a bit different for me and different from any other date I've been on before. Because I feel as though you're almost like conditioned to believe, or especially me in the sense that when someone's not all over you, they're not ultimately interested in you and I think it's really top line like a really silly thing to believe but like um I think

that's kind of how I was that's definitely something I took away from it but actually that's such a good point isn't it because it's like physical contact is is almost uh it's a way of flirting isn't it if it's just a validation piece as well yeah gently brushing against someone as well and if you get tingles and it's like oh maybe they like me too I have to ask how on earth did you spend seven hours together did you not need the toilet well he went to the toilet three times but I couldn't go to the toilet because we were in a park right okay so um I was very desperate for the toilet but luckily it was very close to my flat okay that's good that's good so what did you guys talk about? Did you talk about how you've been finding lockdown or did you kind of go into other subjects?

So there was so many, like, I can talk for England firstly. So there was so many different things we spoke about. So a nice thing I did is I'm really into food I love food so so we had a picnic um so what I thought I'd do is go to my favorite little snack shop which is still open thank goodness and bought loads and loads of little snacks to kind of have a little bit of a conversation about this um because I was worried like obviously I've been chatting to him for so long via text and I don't like I am not normally a texter it's not normally my thing so like I wanted to make sure that we still had something to talk about in real life so I was like if worse comes to worse I'll

talk about these snacks um so I bought like 10 different snacks from savory to sweet all the best ones um and we kind of spoke about for a while and we spoke about family lockdown um kind of loads and loads of different things like past etc it was really lovely um it didn't feel like seven hours I must say when I left I was like oh my gosh it's eight o'clock like it flew by um it's a really good sign was there was there any point where you thought okay if we were allowed to touch each other at this point this is when we would kiss yeah like I definitely and I I'm quite like I like eye contact but I could not give him the full eye contact because I was like okay whoops otherwise it's just a it's a bit

difficult but um yeah there were definitely some of those moments and so how did you leave it when you said goodbye so we actually see each other on Sunday which is really cool we're going to a different park um and yeah it was like it was a bit of a weird goodbye as well because I suppose when you're normally on dates you just like kiss someone or whatever just to like get that validation that they like you and they're still into you um but it was almost like talking as to when we'll see each other again um and yeah it was it was really lovely and have you been texting regularly since the day yeah texting I hate it but yes we have been texting um and just chatting like not

loads because I'd like rather just save stuff to talk about him in real life um like normally but yeah we've been chatting a bit and had you guys spoken uh before you met up on the date had you done like phone calls or video calls yeah so we did like a video like like maybe once or twice a week for maybe like an hour and a half or something it was really nice um but I think they were the hardest thing for me in the sense that like what do you say to someone who you don't really know when you're chatting with them for so long and you're trying to like get to know them but there's no prompts around you to like help get to like know them in that sense yeah that's the thing that we've been we've been we've been

talking about and from other with other people is there's not really much to talk about because every day is the same it's not like you're going out things and then you have you have stories to share it's just like well today I got up I worked or I just kind of sat in my living room all day and then and then I went to sleep and I had dinner and that was it but I do feel like that um you do almost have when you when I don't know what I'm trying to say in the sense that um like when you do find something else to talk about you get to know them on a much deeper level because I've been single for like two years now and I've been on my fair share of dates um and London dating is just very flippant very like spontaneous you know very

almost superficial um going to all these fancy bars and just chatting very like things that don't really matter um whereas when you do find something to talk about it becomes much deeper because there's you kind of you're kind of being given that space to chat Sally it was lovely to hear a nice story for once actually and really interesting about why it was such a good story because molly just ran through for us the master class of online dating and and meeting someone for a distant you know keeping social distance date uh what was it that she did that you think uh people should follow by example two and a half months of courtship i mean okay she met him before lockdown so she knew that you think uh people should follow by example two and a half months of courtship

i mean okay she met him before lockdown so she knew that she was interested in him which you can do online because we can get to see them so it's almost like um you know not getting to see someone online is just admitting to your own vulnerability about being seen but i mean that's less than being seen in real life and then rejected so Molly had two and a half months of being in contact with this person and building a bedrock of shared interest and empathy and all and they liked each other and then for him to bring a picnic blanket and hopefully some booze and for her to put some effort into bringing snacks you know really interesting snacks and thinking about how they're going to communicate in real life.

It's very thoughtful. She'd be a great date. Yeah, I love the snack idea. I think that's really good. Also, just quite good to have something just as a backup in case, you know, you do run out of things to talk about. It's like, well, let's just talk about all these great snacks. I know it seems like a really inane thing to discuss but i imagine you know if it's something that's really personal to her and you know maybe there's a story behind each of the snacks it gives you something to talk about and something to bond over i suppose and food is always a good mutual interest to really start with i suppose isn't it i thought she was delightful happy boy yeah I think it sounds like they had a really good date uh finally

Sally I want to ask you a few a few more tips to people listening who are thinking about going on a social distancing date uh so I'm guessing number one have a video chat with them beforehand right I think so essential because of how how superficial we are and how visually led we are we need to we need to see the other person yeah and and what other tips would you give to someone to do in the run-up in the run-up to a social distancing date do you think it's worth asking them you know where like we said before where where have you been and you know have you been abiding by the rules just to check yes and where have you been but it makes me wonder whether doctors and nurses frontline workers are actually getting into new relationships or they're being

avoided so i mean there'll be people who'll be attracted to you know copping off with a hero and those that will be thinking oh my goodness they're a medical person i'm not going anywhere near them so that's going to be an interesting conundrum for some people. Yeah, I suppose frontline workers have a completely different issue on their hands, don't they? For people who aren't dating key workers, because, I mean, let's imagine key workers don't have much time to date. You know, the people who have time to date are the ones who maybe have been furloughed or maybe have, you know,

jobs that don't mean they have to work into the evening. What would you advise to them? Is it worth asking those those questions first i think it's worth asking those questions again what you're doing is you're not allowing yourself to be caught out later in the process when you may be more committed or more disappointed if things don't go to plan um but just because it's social distance dating and just because this is happening during COVID doesn't mean to say that you should lower your bar. If you're missing your mates and that's what's driving you towards dating, then that's not the best way to begin dating. So, you know, really calibrate where you're at, what you need. And if you say if it's I need romance and I need to spend time with strangers, then go for it.

But if it's I'm actually really missing my friends, put your time and limited energy and all the rest of it into meeting your mates and doing that don't get distracted dating isn't about being distracted from real life dating is about bringing something new into your life and maybe you're not in that right headspace people are feeling really very vulnerable but molly's idea about taking time, using this opportunity to really, really go deep with people and recognizing the difference between how superficial dating can be compared to how it has to go slower now, ideally go slower, make the most of that. This is a gift. Hopefully this is a short period of time. We've all had enough. We want it over. But we want it over safely. And during this unique time, we can go deeper and we can go slower.

Madonna said, you don't shag someone until the fourth date. Well, maybe now it's like the 14th date when you really know where they've been and what they're at. And they're worth it. They're worth taking your clothes off for. Did Madonna really say that? Yes, she did. Wow. Interesting.

Fourth date. Four date rule. Yeah, well now it is. You're right. It's going to be like a 14 date rule. That's it for today. Thank you so much for listening. You can hear more of these stories

and find out exactly how coronavirus is affecting relationships around the world by listening to some of our older episodes, including our listener phone-in, for which I was joined by the wonderful Charlie Cox. If you have an interesting story to share about how coronavirus is affecting your relationship, or maybe you're single and have started speaking to Hinge Dates over Zoom,

or you're planning on meeting one on a social distancing date, please get in touch. I'm also writing about a lot of these stories over on the Lifestyle section of The Independent in my new series called millennial love in the time of corona so please keep an eye out for those you can contact me via the millennial love instagram page just slide into my dms if you're a new listener to the show you can subscribe on apple podcasts spotify acast or anywhere else you can comment and leave us a rating too so that more people can find us keep up to date with everything to do with the show

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