Love Lives - Masturbation and arranged marriages, with Poppy Jay and Rubina Pabani

Episode Date: November 6, 2020

Support Millennial Love with a donation today: https://supporter.acast.com/millennialloveThis week, Olivia is joined by broadcasters Rubina Pabani and Poppy Jay, who host the award-winning BBC Asian Network podcast, Brown Girls Do It Too.The show features candid discussions about sex, masturbation and sexting.These subjects can be disproportionately under-discussed in South Asian communities due to myriad cultural reasons, which is something Rubina and Poppy hope to address.On the show, the duo discuss why they wanted to launch their podcast and how they hope it will help young women reshape their views on sex and dating today and ultimately feel more confident in their skin.Poppy also opens up about being in an arranged marriage at the age of 20. Follow the show on Instagram at @millennial_loveSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/millenniallove. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It was the season of chaos and all through the house not one person was stressing. Holla differently this year with DoorDash. Don't want to holla do the most? Holla don't. More festive, less frantic. Get deals for every occasion with DoorDash. Hello and welcome to Millennial Love, a podcast from The Independent on everything to do with love, sexuality, identity and more. This week I'm very excited to be joined by Rubina Pabani and Poppy Jay, who host the award-winning podcast Brown Girls Do It Too. The show features candid discussions about sex, masturbation

and specifically what these things mean to South Asian women. In its first season, the podcast addressed subjects such as female masturbation, losing one's virginity and sexting. The idea is that these subjects are disproportionately under-discussed in South Asian communities due to myriad cultural reasons. Today, Robina and Poppy joined me to discuss why they wanted to launch the podcast and how they hope it will help young women reshape their views on sex and dating today in a way that ultimately makes them feel more comfortable in their own skin. Enjoy the show! more comfortable in their own skin. Enjoy the show.

Hi guys. Hey. Now let's start the show by you guys, if you wouldn't mind explaining a bit about your podcast, Brown Girls Do It Too, and what it's about. So it's a podcast about being British Asian. I mean, that's essentially what it is. But we are very silly British Asians. So we quite like to talk about sex in kind of grotesque and immature ways. But that's just really helped us. It's a prism to kind of, to get us to talk about other stuff. And it's, it's a way of us being able to open up to each other and to make ourselves accessible to other

people because we reveal quite a lot. And in the revealing of maybe sometimes too much, I think we allow the doors the floodgates open to other people to come and like contact us about their floodgates pun I'm sorry I've ruined your flow but yeah that's it essentially it's about sex and in an interview Poppy you said that brown good girls aren't meant to be talking about sex so what did you mean by that i mean brown good girls are not supposed to be talking about sex or relationships or their nipples or pubic hair or the shape of their vaginas or other things to be talking about which we've got loads of stuff rabina listening to dawson's creek before she popped her fucking

cherry coming back on netflix by the way um that was exciting news for today the kind of the one thing that everyone needs to understand right is sex in any community whether you're white black east asian whatever you just don't really it's not something that we generally talk about with our parents or in our community or with our elders but sex for like brown women is even more brushed under the carpet like locked in a vault like we act as though we are we don't have sex and children are almost like the stalks have dropped them okay that's a slight exaggeration but like we're not really meant to know about it at all obviously times are changing we all have smartphones porn blah blah blah bollywood in our case but it's so it's the one thing that everyone does that no one talks about and on top of no one talking about it you then have this like 50 ton of

shame and like dishonor and every and also within the community like the double standards is disgusting so like it's an open secret like the way harvey weinstein is a molester that men can fuck around and shag but the moment a woman does it she's slut shame she's a slag she's awful like i'm definitely stealing this quote from this indian feminist but like our honor and shame is always in our vaginas, whether we like it or not, always, always, always. And we don't, in this podcast, we're not like, oh my God, we're players. We slept with a hundred men or women or whatever. Like we're not about that at all. We just talk about really normal experiences that I think that we were robbed of actually. And a lot of women were robbed of because we had so many women message us to say,

thank you for normalizing it. I so embarrassed I was so ashamed really it's really interesting because when you're talking about it like you know obviously these things are are so much worse in in specific cultures but I think generally like what you guys are doing is so relatable like you said to anyone whichever culture you're in because you know like you said, to anyone, whichever culture you're in, because, you know, like you said, we don't talk about sex in the detail that we have it, you know, and because of that, there is so many misunderstandings and misconceptions. And we take our cues from porn or films or, you know, all sorts of other kind of toxic, unrealistic places. And, and it's a real issue, which is why I think you guys being so open about, you know, masturbation and STDs and all that kind of stuff is so important. What do you think are some of the most important things that you want to kind

of normalize about sex and dating on the podcast, like for your, for the South Asian community? I think for me, it's definitely all about masturbation. I think we really like, I've really kind of disassociated our minds from our bodies quite a lot with the way that we work and our culture. So like, it's just such a wonderful bit of pleasure. You know, we get to eat, we get to exercise, we get to do a few things in our lives that make us feel euphoric and, and touching yourself feels amazing. Like it does just feel great um and for me i want people to feel like that's okay like loving yourself is is good and fine it's good to talk about it's good to share tips on it and it's good to know that it's never too much i think

like i know there is such a thing as like sex addiction and we're not we're not talking about that but that would be really key for me it's like love yourself because bloody hell do we need it right now and for me it's um like brown women have. Cause bloody hell, do we need it right now? And for me, it's like brown women have sex and we love it. And we're horny as fuck. And I think about sex all the time. Like I look at people and I'm like, fit,

wood, wood, wood, wood, wood. I need to do my laundry. Like I think about sex all the time. Yeah.

And it's so human. I don't have a lot of sex, but I do think about sex all the time. But it's so human. Like i do think about sex all the time and that's so human like it's like being an honest human like we're not going to be like these suppressed robots walking around being like all i do is work it's like no we like love that element of ourselves like i think it's just really natural it is it is so human but like you said you know and again this is exacerbated within certain cultures but it is something that we only really allow men to do and talk about. And get applause for it as well.

Yeah, exactly. Whereas there is this, you know, culture of shame around female sexuality. So any woman who talks about sex openly, it's like, oh, she's promiscuous or she's a slut or whatever. You know, we don't have those words for men. Am I right in thinking that there is no word for sex in Bengali or you don't know the word? No, I just don't know it.

I genuinely don't know it. I think I Googled it and I think there's like, it's lovemaking, but lovemaking is not sex. In Hindi, it's like lay down together. You lay down together. Even in Hindi, it's so fucking repressed. You don't even say the word sex you're like let's sleep together you're like my mum did my mum came on our podcast for a little

bit and she did this bit where she was like i knew that it was about sleeping with each other like really coy we just don't we don't have the language for it and i don't know what i don't even think english really has some of the the right languages for i'd really love to find the language that really graphically hits all the stuff that we need to be talking about um because all of the all of the words are swear words like associated with sex which in itself is also really i am it's my own podcast i can swear but really fucked up yeah it's like it associates sex with shame from the get-go if all of the words that we use to talk about it are you know inverted commas swear words and there's no in between it's like we're either

fucking each other's brains out or we're making love there is loads of things like on this end of the scale sleeping together like when i was in uni i was like oh were you sleeping together like i would be the same kind of language and it's like and then you're right yeah he goes from other you're you're fucking or you're like yeah love me i remember being i remember being a teenager and and hearing that my friend had given somebody a blow job but we didn't want to use the word blow job because we thought it was just too graphic and just not what she'd done so we called it juggling and we were like did you juggle with him though did you juggle with him though? Did you juggle? Did you juggle those balls? That's funny! Oh my God. I love that.

I love that so much. I was just thinking about sleeping together as well. Like that doesn't even make any sense because, you know, a lot of the time when you have sex with someone, you don't necessarily stay the night. You don't necessarily sleep together if it's a one night stand.

So then like, well, it makes you feel awful. I could be sleeping with you, Rubina. I could be sleeping next to you in a hotel because there's no two in beds. You know, it's just doesn't make sense. It's, um,

I'm trying to find all the kind of sex synonyms, but I'm not, I'm not coming up with many right now. Hang on. Let me know when you do. Cause I want to hear them. Intercourse, lovemaking,

sex act. That's what all, what fucking Google gave me. Intercourse, way to lose your horn one two three four and making love is not not highlighted so i mean i don't know what wow even the even the fucking internet's scared of sex making love is the worst i think that is the absolute worst one isn't it because it kind of it has all these associations with like perfect romance and like kind of Hollywood vibes and it's like some like

sex is very often not at all romantic like the build-up to sex can be romantic yeah actual sex is messy and like gross and sometimes there's all sorts of fluids everywhere like sex itself it's not romantic many times i feel like an animal in a barn having sex it's just that's what it is that really is just that when you see you know when you see a cow like hump another cow from the back that is like what we do but we just need to like we need to own that guys i've got fool around. I mean, what Auntie Margaret. American. Sexual intercourse, screw, fornicate. Fornicate. Oh my God. Carnal.

Sorry, I'm going. Carnal. Conjugate, breed, fool around, lie with. This is just the podcast where Poppy reads the internet. It's like an Adam Buxton. Sleeping together. Sorry, I'll stop. There's just so many Adam Buxton. We're sleeping together. Sorry, I'll stop. There's just so many things about sleeping together

and lying down together. It's so weird, but it's just the rhetoric that you see in films as well. It's like, that's just how you see, you only see people in films talk about it that way or like, you know, written down. You never actually really say it to one another. You'll just be like sex.

Anyway, this is a question for both of you I suppose how do you think the way that sex was discussed at home when you were growing up or not discussed has impacted your approach to sex today I mean it wasn't discussed in my house not once no one said anything ever ever ever I mean I talk in the podcast about like going and asking my mom what masturbate means and going to ask my brother what an erection was because I would hear these things at school and bring them home and they would just be like no don't talk to me about it please leave the house um so no nothing and I think that made me incredibly curious and like and dying to find you know like-minded individuals like Bobby that I could be like did you do this this is like a thing and I really like you know

we're in our 30s so we're just able to do it now so you know what an awakening for us definitely I mean um if Rubina was at key stage two I was at like PhD level of like no one talked about it like it didn't sex well huh you just were born you know like you we just didn't talk about it and I actually think for me and I don't speak for all of the Asian community, but I definitely think there's like a group of us. There's like a faction of us because it's so repressive. I mean,

at least Rubina could go and speak to her mom before she was like, ah, I couldn't even do that. Right. Like we, no one does that. We don't do that. So I think almost you go the other way and you go really,

I don't know. I don't want to say too far but you kind of act out and you you know crazy you know crazy whatever that so and I don't want to I don't want to say it's unhealthy um but you know you're sort of lying and you're needing a double life and you're you know you're sort of it's you get a kind of bucket list mentality and you pack a lot in it's not normal you know what is normal god I'm going down a hole but you've got to be the way i approach sex now sorry sex back then was very much like i repressed for so long gonna go crazy that's that's how i think a lot of people um i think maybe that's how people feel about our podcast too it's like we are maybe taking it a bit too far but that's because

there is nothing in the middle for us there's no british talking about anything anything in the middle because there's no other British Asian women really around doing anything apart from you know news news current affairs that is it's so it's so important do you think do you think it's made you reconsider or I guess just think about the way that you would speak to your children about sex and dating and and how you would broach it would you be like incredibly open about it from the get-go fuck yes they're getting chat about porn over dinner what porn sites to use if i make it fucking uncool i don't give a shit i'm gonna be talking about drugs and what kind of drugs i had to take drugs i'm gonna talk about everything literally everything and i'm not going to be talking to that 15 i actually don't know if i'm going to have kids but if i do they're going to know about this shit wait like 11 11 maybe not

the drugs thing maybe that's later absolutely they're going to know about everything yeah and it's so interesting because the second generation like we are the second generation like the kids like millennials children's of our generation that's going to really fundamentally shift to the culture but what we're really really key and maybe we should definitely highlight is we're not trying to like delete our culture we don't hate everything about it like being British Asian is wonderful thing like we all come from such diverse countries and we have a better food than anyone in the world we speak like loads of languages our like rituals are so rich and steeped in religion. Like everything about our cultures

can be really wonderful. We appreciate it. But this part of it is something we don't want to carry on. The whole idea of whether or not you should talk to your kids about this stuff is quite interesting because I think Sarah Pascoe said recently

that, you know, she grew up in a home where her mum spoke to her about masturbation all the time. And for her, it made her mum spoke to her about masturbation all the time and for her it made her actually want to not do it because she would just think of her mum every time she went to do it and think that her mum would approve and obviously that's not great but like you said you know it doesn't matter if it makes it uncool surely it's better to talk about that stuff and normalize it with the shame I think it's a moot point.

You know, Sarah Pascoe, go look at Leonardo. I don't know. Fine. You'll get your rocks off somewhere else. You know what I mean? Like it's so much more important that we talk to our children about consent.

It's so, if you have an 11 year old, I literally did a radio show about this. I can't give you the statistic, but it's insane. Almost half, half of all kids between the ages of 11 and 16 will fucking watch porn like your 11 year old is going to watch porn so it is so important that you talk to them about what sex is what affection is what

companionship is what normal healthy relationships look like it and i couldn't give a fucking who if it's if it's cool or not cool i don't care and maybe there is maybe there is a way to do it like you know like you're not gonna embarrass your kids in front of your fucking friend you're not gonna be like you have mom like oh darling this is this is how you fucking wank you know what i mean i don't even think the conversation should be about like oh it's not cool because my mom said it like we talk to our kids about not taking um sweets from strangers we we teach them how to cross the fucking road and we teach them all this shit we should be teaching them this because it's not coming from schools it should be i mean it should be coming

from schools but it should be coming from us so if i had kids they would know acas powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessie Kirkshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture. But when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting The Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle.

I didn't even know a thirsty man until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no, that's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jesse Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Poppy, you talk about this on the show sometimes.

You got married at the age of 20. Is that something you'd be willing to talk about a bit and tell us what happened? Because I think that's something that really we don't hear much about today it's really funny though isn't it because it's like i remember talk i was in the pub and i was talking to my friend rubina's heard this a million times i was talking to my friend who's half pakistani half english and we were doing a kind of you know notting hill where they pass the biscuit around and you have to say why your life is shit so we were doing this like don't ask me why but anyway it was fun funny and i was like i've had i've had a forced

marriage and then he looked put his fucking pint down and he looked at me he's like who hasn't like in our community it is so normal of a certain age i think of a certain age it's so normal to have arranged marriages so i'm not going to go on record and say, of a certain age, it's so normal to have arranged marriages. So I'm not going to go on record and say it was a forced marriage, but it was. So I'll say arranged marriage. But I didn't want to marry him as the eldest of six. My parents know that when we, so this is a very fundamental thing, which I don't think like non-Asians get. When we get married, we live with the husband and the husband's family all right so like we don't even get along with our own mothers imagine living with this other bitch your mother-in-law like and

then like dealing with your husband's fucking brothers and sisters and being a kind of semi made but not really but you know what i mean all the kind of like not being able to like come home and whip your bra off and then you've got to think about food all that shit that comes with it my parents knew i wasn't built for that because if the mother said mother-in-law said make me tea i'd be like well you know where the kitchen is you know what i mean babe um and so they so so they had that sort of my best they were thinking about me but they've got me married to my cousin which is gross and then it was just a car crash of a couple we were so young i was a virgin when i got married i'd never had a relationship before um and it just was just not gonna I mean it just it was doomed from the beginning

how how did you how long did you stay in that marriage for and how did you kind of find a way to get out of it you know while maintaining relations with your family that must have been so complicated I mean it's so boring how I come back but we stayed married for three years and I we had we were always fighting so I would grow up with my parents fighting all the time I just thought it was normal and my aunties and uncles we're always fighting and then I we had a fight and then I left with three days of clothes thinking I'd go back he'd come back for me and then he didn't and then three months went into two months went into how long and then before you know it I was just like oh wow I shouldn't be in this relationship so it gave me clarity and I realized this is an absolute car

crash I mean I should I why I hadn't I couldn't see the wood for the trees and then I realized I can't be in this relationship and my parents actually were initially quite supportive and then later on when I was like living my life and being 16 again, they were like, Oh, you know, you're acting out. You're not a good Muslim. I can see why you two didn't get along. So, so actually with the parent thing, it kind of unraveled in another way, but there were so many women I know of my age and older who've had arranged marriages, which work. Absolutely. And some that just, you know, couldn't marry the person they wanted to and ended up marrying someone else and blah, blah, blah. Yes. But if that does work, the arranged marriage

setup, I guess it's just luck of the draw, isn't it? Like there's no way because, you know, if you don't know each other particularly well, then it's just luck if that works, right? Yeah. I mean, it's relationships that it totally depends on part of you know we always try to not speak about british asians as if we're like one thing because it's quite complicated like i didn't grow up in a culture where everyone i knew was having arranged marriages you know that's a separate thing but you know a lot of our families need to come together in relationships that's quite a big deal i mean that's still something i carry in my culture now with my relationship it's like his family and my family have to click otherwise I think I would find that hard because it is about you're part of a bigger thing it's

less less of an individualistic culture which is kind of a bit more western society you know you like to help yourself we come we come as part of huge families you know both our parents are one of 10 I have over 50 first cousins you know I'm part of this big, you know, both our parents are one of 10. I have over 50 first cousins, you know, I'm part of this big unit of things and I don't want to turn my back on that. So there is that as well. Families connect to each other. Yeah. It's similar sort of in, in Jewish families, but I'm, my family is Jewish. And, um, again, like my, my grandparents, each of them had 10 brothers and sisters, uh, each. So that's, that's a lot of cousins as well. Um, and again, it's like that, it's like, I don't know, have you

seen, um, I always think of this, this film really reminds me of my family, my big fat Greek wedding. Yeah, I was going to say that. I knew. Oh my God. There are just so many scenes and particularly the meat thing. Like there's the line when he comes to the dinner and, and he's like, he's like, Oh, I don't eat meat. And you know,

the host, the mother, the maker, Oh, you don't eat meat. Don't worry. I'll make, I'll make lamb.

And it's just like, that's so something my grandmother would say. They're all Israeli and Moroccan. Like that's just what they believe. Very funny. Anyway, tell me a bit about um how the podcast has changed your relationship in terms of talking about sex with your family have your family listened to the podcast at all

have you spoken about it with them yeah I mean it's been uh it's been hard like when it when it first comes out also like doing a sex podcast is like like you're literally throwing yourself to the wolves um it's that you're very open and you're very vulnerable and anyone can critique you we got loads of trolls and then you know lots of our community friends families start to find out and maybe we didn't do all of that telling them in the right way and so we've been on a real journey to get to series two of you know getting feedback from friends that felt a little bit harsh or communicating with our families like my mum eventually no like knew and started you know engaging and we did like a two-page spread in the times about the article and about the podcast and winning um podcast of

the year and that was like a really big moment like showing her that we were in the times for something and maybe it wasn't something the thing that she wanted me to be in the times for, you know, she probably wanted me to like, you know, discover the cure of cancer or something. But like, she was able to see the value in it and she was able to see like the impact that it had on other people. So yeah, my mum eventually came around,

but like, I still don't really talk to my brother or dad about it. But I mean, I don't, I feel like I don't need to. Yeah. Yeah. Same here. I don't, I mean, my parents don't know about it they can never know about it it will just take them 10 steps backwards they're too conservative but my sisters listened to it and like rubina was saying they found out through this um instagram page that had clicked basically asian network had shared this controversial clip of me talking about danger ranking and then they

shared that slut shame they found out through a friend and they basically were so upset and so angry and mortified and ashamed and then they stopped talking to me but actually talking about journeys we've been talking about journeys they went through the ultimate journey because in you know they stopped talking to me for about a year but they kind of came to realize the value in it uh realize actually what we were doing was so important and giving people a voice and and you know the whole thing that you know we live in this kind of council culture echo chamber world and one of my sisters was like look i don't necessarily i would never talk about it but i totally understand why you should and why you you have to and and i completely see the value in it

so they were really supportive and they're on the podcast they're on the podcast well they're on one of the kind of a version of it yeah and Rubina's mum who I really want to adopt as like my mother I have to go back to something you mentioned just then danger wanking what is that what it's like a danger wank when your partner's in like another room and you're like you know boshing out a quick one oh my god I love that and i didn't know that that had a name or when you don't know when they're coming home or when you're in a shared house you don't know when anyone's coming home and you're like well this really adds to the excitement of how quick i have to be yeah danger wanking it's like yeah when you it's like a danger poo when you do a poo and you're not meant to and same

concept i've not done it at work but I think I tried once and I was like, I'll need at least an hour for this shit. My break's 20 minutes. Oh my God. I love that. Like a danger poo at like a new boyfriend's house or something. Yeah, exactly.

Oh my God. Such a thing. Okay. Before we start to wrap up, can you tell me a bit about your new season? Because that is coming in a few weeks. I can't wait um so what subjects do you guys plan to cover in that god we're gonna we're gonna talk we're gonna dirty talk we're gonna talk about dirty talking um we're gonna talk about stripping and some kind of like sex as a commodity a bit more

um but mainly the most exciting thing about series uh two is that we're gonna give a platform to other british asian women to come and join us and talk to us because, you know, Poppy and I are straight. And whilst we're both very different types of British Asian women, we are both straight. And we would like to open up the doors to other British Asian women and platform them and talk about all the other stuff they do. So, yeah, it's exciting. We just we've just been looking through the artwork today and we're like, oh, here we go again. Amazing. Amazing. exciting we just we've just been looking through the artwork today and we're like oh god here we go again amazing amazing I like that you're talking about dirty talk that's not something actually I was trying to think if we've we've ever spoken about that on the show I don't think we have but that is such an interesting subject because it's like again that's a thing that

you take your cues from films and from porn but it's not something that you talk to your friends about. Be like, so what did you say to your partner to get them in the mood last night? You're not going to say, where'd you get that from? Like, it's just so weird. It can be so awkward. What words does he like? You just don't really, do you? And it's interesting.

Like I asked my mates, my best girlfriends, like what kind of porn do you watch? And they, we talk about everything. And they wouldn't tell me because they were embarrassed so i thought that was really interesting they were embarrassed to tell me because clearly they think that whatever they watch is kind of gray area or embarrassing or it's not the right kind of or whatever it is but like it's just sort of the one thing that you don't really talk about i think i think daddy talk is just really good for podcasting and that's why we want to explore it because we can actually experiment we can talk about it we can like yeah see what works and what doesn't and

and i think it's really hot like i think personally for me it's something that i'm like yeah that's so sexy for someone to make me like really turn me on by just talking to me before they've even touched me that's like amazing especially now with covid if you've got to have phone sex with somebody you've got to try and figure out new inventive ways so i'm game for it so true so true i yeah i think it's just something that if you if you've never had experience of it and you've never spoken to your friends about it and suddenly you're in bed with someone and they're like talk dirty things to me yeah and like what the hell do you say there's like that episode of sex and city where miranda's in bed with a guy and he's like he's like speak talk to me and she's like uh you're hard harder harder like that's all she says

it's really funny um right so uh it's time for our lessons in love segment which is the part of the show where i basically ask every guest to share something they've learned about relationships from their previous experiences poppy do you want to go first um well strangely i i've i've had a marriage and then sexual twists and then my current partner um so I can only go on my marriage and that is um the one big big lesson that I learned from that relationship is my god learn to walk away walk away walk away walk away do not feel like you need to have the last word walk away we were two people with very very bad tempers so walk the fuck away that's it that's my that's the lesson that I learned I think I think that's a good lesson and definitely something that people people need to hear because you hear time

and time again about people staying in relationships for longer than they need to I mean it's incredibly hard to break up with someone and you know let alone get a divorce from someone particularly in the conditions that you were in so I think yeah it takes it takes a lot of courage to do that and that's again that's something that isn't really spoken about that much it's just like oh it's a breakup everyone goes through them like whatever you're fine it's like no it takes guts to actually realize that that's something you want and have to do definitely how about you Rubina what's yours oh. I think mine, I was in a relationship quite a long time with somebody who never went down on me. And so for me, my bit of advice is don't give head unless you're definitely know you're going to get head. That is my absolute advice because that is the ultimate respect in a relationship. If you're both going down on each other's genitals, that

is trust and equality at every level. So do not give head unless it's coming your way I'm so happy you said that because you know what no one has ever done a lesson in love about oral sex and I'm really pleased that you did it's really important you're right it's it's like it's so much more than just about oral sex it's about like you know respect and like you know if you're gonna go put your face down there you want your partner to do it as well like it's just about mutual respect isn't it it's the most intimate thing that you could do isn't it i slashed the grossest but the most intimate thing that you could do is like your mouth in someone else's genitals and yeah i can't believe if you're not getting it then leave walk out the door oh my god guys that was so great I'm so pleased that we did

this I could talk for like ages more that was so fun I can't wait for your new series thanks for having us it was great that's it for today thank you so much for listening if you're a new listener to this show you can subscribe to us on apple podcasts spotify acast or anywhere else you can comment and leave us a rating too so that more people can find us. Keep up with everything to do with the show on Instagram. Just search Millennial Love. See you soon. Whether you're in your running era, Pilates era or yoga era, dive into Peloton workouts that work with you.